“Perhaps I was a bit too particular about what I wanted when I ordered my salad at lunch,” admits Daniel in Seattle. “I found this when I pulled it out of my bag back at the office.”
And from the Athens, Ohio Dept. of Disgruntled Baristas…
related: Have it your way, jerk
94 responses so far ↓
#1
Kat
That bitch salad was delicious!
Sep 23, 2010 at 12:48 am rating: 10
#2
Mira
Correction: That bitch salad was fucking delicious!
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:12 am rating: 25
#3
MAMARILLA2
The Bitch salad comes with a side of Ass-hat bread. You can have it as a side with your choice of Douche canoe entree or Twat-waffle soup of the day. And for dessert a large piece of Dick-weed cake and a Fuck you caramel latte.
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:22 am rating: 70
#4
Marzipan
I must know what was so particular about the salad!!
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:26 am rating: 6
#5
Nack
Wow, you know you’re ready to quit your job when you have to take your aggressions out on poor food items!
Don’t worry, you do that often enough you’ll get fired.
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:28 am rating: 9
#6
Amanda6
I comment all of never, but my god did these two notes tickle me just right.
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:39 am rating: 12
#7
MinnKB
Apparently the Bitch Salad is on the menu and those getting the order know JUST what goes into it. Otherwise, how would it have a name?
Sep 23, 2010 at 2:20 am rating: 4
#8
Kou
How special were these special orders? I’ve worked in kitchens plenty, you’d have to request some seriously over the top asshattery to make a salad difficult.
Sep 23, 2010 at 5:22 am rating: 12
#9
FeRD
“I’ll have a half double decaffeinated half-caf, with a twist of lemon.”
– Steve Martin in L. A. Story
Sep 23, 2010 at 5:31 am rating: 9
#10
Kay
Damn! I want me a Bitch Salad! A smart deli should note this and put it on their menu. People will line up out the door for the opportunity to order One Bitch Salad, please, oh, and a Diet Coke.
Sep 23, 2010 at 5:51 am rating: 7
#11
Xenobio
I’m guessing the “Fuck You” coffee is for someone who either forgot to tip last time or is a chronic non-tipper.
Sep 23, 2010 at 5:53 am rating: 4
#12
Canthz_B
In Seattle they believe in getting straight to the point, and then pleasing the customer.
In more passive-aggressive communities, there would be no “bitch salad” comment, but you’d find no fork or napkins when you settled down on your favorite park bench, in perfect weather, to enjoy your personalized salad.
Sep 23, 2010 at 6:12 am rating: 15
#13
Splint Chesthair
I’ve had people request that that certain vegetables be cut in certain particular ways (with absolute and not relative size suggestions, e.g. 1″ squares) and packaged separately and that all veggies re-washed with that special veggies soap.
That made me want to rage but I’m generally a nice guy so no “Bitch Salad” but they deserved it.
Sep 23, 2010 at 6:27 am rating: 10
#14
liddy
I would be more worried about what was done to the salad to express their passive-aggressiveness before getting upset about what was labeled on the sticker (especially dubious would be the salad dressing). I would consider it a warning and that salad would be in the trash.
Sep 23, 2010 at 8:28 am rating: 2
#15
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
I’d rather have a nasty “message” . . . than a nasty “ingredient.” And I’m sure there’s plenty of that floating around.
Sep 23, 2010 at 8:40 am rating: 1
#16
none
I wouldn’t eat that bitch salad. Might be some special sauce in there….just saying
Sep 23, 2010 at 8:48 am rating: 2
#17
Psycho
These are the best pictures ever posted on this site.
Sep 23, 2010 at 8:48 am rating: 2
#18
The Elf
I’ve never worked in food service, but I have worked in retail. There were quite a few customers that I wish I could have packaged their items as a “bitch salad” or gussied it up with a bit of “fuck you” caramel. You’ll get 100 good customers and then you’ll get 1 that will make you hate humanity.
Sep 23, 2010 at 9:14 am rating: 11
#19
thrall
I’ll have whatever she’s having…
Sep 23, 2010 at 9:47 am rating: 2
#20
spoko
Y’all are some paranoid types. I’ve seen many a restaurant kitchen, and have friends who’ve worked in them as well, and I’ve never once seen anyone spit on a dish before sending it out. Heard lots of them *say* they did it or *threaten* to do it or more often just joke about it. But never, not once, seen it done.
Then again, I’ve only ever once seen waitstaff call someone a bitch to their face, which is basically what these two pics are (especially the coffee, which isn’t in a to-go cup).
Sep 23, 2010 at 10:22 am rating: 4
#21
claw71
Do you know how places will carefully list everything that goes into a specialty item? For instance, as you look at the salads on a cafe’s menu you’ll notice that they have several different salads listed. Each one has different ingredients that have been carefully selected in order to create a flavor profile. That’s usually your first clue to order the salad “as is”.
I’m just wondering if Danny boy ate that salad because if that’s what the order was written down as, I’m fairly certain there was at least one ingredient included that wasn’t part of his order. Was the dressing a bit on the flemmy side, Daniel? I bet that it was.
By the way, Daniel. Turn in your man card. It’s not that you ordered a salad, but the fact that you ordered one like a diva.
Sep 23, 2010 at 11:22 am rating: 15
#22
Tessa
Okay, so yeah these are funny. But I hope that after being photographed those were shown to managers. I’ve worked way too many retail/service jobs and I have had so many obnoxious customers, so I know how badly it can suck. But you don’t get to act out in a way that damages the store/restaurant/brothel’s reputation. Never mind the fact that in this economy, risking your job is just idiotic.
Sep 23, 2010 at 12:12 pm rating: 5
#23
Sabrina
The one from Seattle looked like “Bitch Slap” upon first glance.
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:28 pm rating: 1
#24
Savannah
Someone tried really hard to make the first photograph look professional. I love the use of lighting and the camera angle.
Sep 23, 2010 at 1:48 pm rating: 1
#25
Valentine
I worked for a certain corporate coffee company for five long years. I’ve had customers throw coffee at me on numerous occasions, usually because I had the gall to charge them $5.00 for a latte, or in some cases, charge them at all(I had a few regulars that felt entitled to free drinks from time to time). It’s all about stealth in cases of such delightful customers. For instance, writing “Fuck you”, or some other equally charming phrase such as “I’m a douchebag” or “Semen tastes yummy”, is best done on the bottom of the cup. The target customer is none the wiser, but with every sip, they show off this message to the rest of the world. And, of course, there is the more obvious(yet still so often overlooked) method of drawing a giant penis on the side of the cup.
Sep 23, 2010 at 10:16 pm rating: 13
#26
Gladystopia
Well. This has been quite an education, I’ll admit, since I’ve never sent food back, nor have I ever worked at a restaurant more challenging than a Browns’ Chicken.
If anyone needs me, I will be filling my bathtub with chlorine bleach and individually dunking any and all food items over and over, then rinsing and air-drying each piece, with the entire process overseen by several large, burly, low-eyebrowed armed security guards under orders to shoot first and ask no questions.
And if you think THAT’s germaphobic, you should see what went on after I took my food-service sanitation class. For six weeks, all I ate was irradiated saltines.
Sep 24, 2010 at 12:57 am rating: 4
#27
AJ
I must say, the photography on the bitch salad is impressive. You could almost mistake it for a magazine picture, until you read the tag of course
Sep 24, 2010 at 8:51 am rating: 2
#28
Deep Candle
A Bitch Salad is that one with the apples in it, right?
Sep 25, 2010 at 10:59 pm rating: 0
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