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Three never-ending office arguments

September 27th, 2010 · 61 comments

I’d nominate all three of these for inclusion in the encyclopedia entry for “petty office debates.”

Exhibit a) From  San Francisco:

Your mother does not work here. This is disgusting for others who use this restroom. {Response:] YOU SURE NAG LIKE MY MOTHER

Exhibit b) From Jeron in Dallas:

To conserve energy, please turn off the dupe deck when you are done. Tks [RESPONSE:] food for thought: it may in fact consume more energy to continually turn it off + on.

Exhibit c) From Monterey, California:

Covering your food keeps microwave clean. Thnx! [RESPONSE:] Please state the obvious here...

related: Completely valid rebuttals

FILED UNDER: California · cleaning · Dallas/Fort Worth · energy usage · microwave · office · oh snap · rebuttals · San Francisco · that's disgusting · thx · Your mother doesn't...

61 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Rat Fink

    What’s a “dupe deck?”

    Sep 27, 2010 at 5:49 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   katie

      I read it as “dripe deck”, heh. no seriously, what is it?

      Sep 27, 2010 at 6:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   SHammett13

      I think it’s “dupe” as in duplicate. It appears to be one of those machines that looks similar to a computer tower that has several CD drives to copy discs. Just a guess based on the pic…

      Sep 27, 2010 at 6:59 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Nack

      Duplicating tape deck. It’s a measure used in many corporations to store data in massive doses in case of fire or server destruction.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 7:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   sleeps

      I think it’s like if you want to make a copy of a tape or dvd.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 7:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #2   farcical aquatic ceremony

    note1: WTF is up with this “your mother” shit, anyway? If my mother worked in your office she wouldn’t be moppin’ up your piss, she’d be calling the shots cuz she’s a C.E.O., beeyotch!!!

    note2:hey, “food for thought”–whyncha’ back that shit up with some science so you don’t seem like a DICK.

    note3:apparently, it’s not obvious to EVeryone, yellow-note-wench. (I feel for purple-note-leaver, backed into untenable position of passiveness by desire to placate everyone…)


    Sep 27, 2010 at 6:14 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   eslinger bang

      I <3 you! :D

      Sep 27, 2010 at 10:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Mo®

      I agree!!! ♥
      Team Purple note writer.
      However the lazy fucks that need the reminder to cover their cabbagey Hick-Chow© are not likely to change their uncaring sloppy ways.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:34 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   anglophile bang

      I am the ONLY woman at my place of employment who is not a mother, but the rest of those bitches are still slobs. No one seems capable of the leap of logic that covered food makes less of a mess in the microwave, either.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 12:52 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Mo® bang

      Those bitches flush with the seat up too, covering everything in a fecal mist! Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 1:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #3   SB

    Man, the majority of these note-writers sound like real wankers. And yeah, I don’t know what decade people who leave “Your mother doesn’t work here” notes are living in.

    Sep 27, 2010 at 6:42 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #4   shorthanded

    yeah, my mother really likes a disgusting bathroom, so I spray everywhere and leave paper in the floor. I always forget to adjust when I’m using others’ facilities. thanks for the reminder.

    Sep 27, 2010 at 6:56 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #5   grammarian

    10 bonus points for correct use of “continually” vs. “continuously.”

    Sep 27, 2010 at 6:58 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   People Person

      Minus 1 point for split infinitive?

      Sep 27, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Liz

      bah, unsplit infinitives are for those who have never gone where no man has gone before!

      or ended a sentence with a preposition, for that matter…

      Sep 28, 2010 at 9:16 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #6   Elorel

    It’s like passive aggression and sanctimony bring out the best cursive in people.

    (Note #3′s responder is too young to have learned cursive so she resorts to her finest bubble letters.)

    Sep 27, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Guy

      The cursive handwriting on the first note does indicate a certain degree of imbalance: The lazy “h” in the word “here,” the crazy, uneven slant of the letters, the capitalization of “Mother,” and the space between the letters themselves are all clues that this is not someone you should tangle with.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 7:50 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   park rose

      On note two of two, that’s not all that you wouldn’t want to tangle with. How about those crazy thought waves, or duplicates of duplicated tape, or the idea of the machine running continually underscoring the writer’s intention? I want to tell her that tape is not edible. Maybe it’s not tape. Maybe it represents a curvy pasta noodle.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   eslinger bang

      That tape was fucking delicious.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   clumber

      Paging WotV…. Paging WotV…. Stat! Code IHY! Code IHY!

      Sep 28, 2010 at 7:13 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   Sssssssssss

      Mmmmm, I bet you’re fucking delicious!

      Om nom nom nom nom

      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:37 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   Mo®

      What the hell??? :???: :shock:

      Sep 28, 2010 at 9:08 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.7   The Elf

      Is it true, Mo? Are you having sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Delicious?

      Sep 28, 2010 at 12:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #6.8   Mo® bang

      I am just helping her to conceive.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 12:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.9   Woman on the Verge bang

      I fucking hate you, eslinger and person who has the s key stuck on your keyboard.

      Sorry, clumber. I was busy and didn’t see the Verge Signal.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 2:00 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #6.10   eslinger bang

      Ooooh, I even got a “fucking” thrown in! This just made my day so much more awesome. Thanks, WotV! <3

      Sep 30, 2010 at 4:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #7   aaa bang

    You know, my mother works at the same place I do, and she still doesn’t clean up after me. (Not that I leave things to be cleaned up, anyway…) HOW ABOUT THAT, BITCHES.

    Sep 27, 2010 at 8:15 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   se

      you are mistaken. she cleans me up after you’re done with me. And she does a great job. I wonder if it’s because I tip so well.

      Sep 27, 2010 at 8:19 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   aaa bang

      Error: Already voted

      Sep 28, 2010 at 9:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Sushipants

      Seriously. I work with my mom, too, but I’m pretty sure she too busy managing an entire editorial staff to clean the office bathroom. And the guy whose job it is to clean the bathroom is, well, a guy.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   aaa bang

      Hell, we don’t even work on the same day. ALTHOUGH SHE BETTER CLEAN UP AFTER ME WHEN I’M AT HOME, DAMMIT.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 5:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   Mo® bang

      I just want a sandwich!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:10 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #8   eslinger bang

    In exhibit b, NW2′s handwriting is a bit unbalanced and suggests emotional instability to me. I have no training in this field, I just think the way the “ug” in “thought” was a bit scary looking.

    Then again, maybe it’s some hipster douche trying to be cool. Who knows?

    EDIT: Sorry, Jeron, if you’re NW2. No offense.

    Sep 27, 2010 at 10:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #9   Lizzie Birdsworth

    @ Note 1 – My mother died on 9/11 and this note just makes me feel kinda bad…

    Sep 28, 2010 at 3:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   MaryJane

      Thanks for sharing. Now I am depressed.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 5:23 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   sleeps


      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Way to hijack this discussion thread, LB.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 9:08 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #9.4   anglophile bang

      Note to self: refrain from ever again mentioning a mother in any place at any time in case L. B. might hear and feel sad.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 12:56 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #10   ammali

    Okay, the first one made me laugh. Snorty laughter, at work, which meant I got a O_o look from the guy who sits near me. That’s your success story for the day, PAN.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 7:29 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #11   Mo®

    The, “Your mom doesn’t work here” notes it seems like a good opportunity for a “your mom” joke. I’ve got nothing.. Wait… Your mom should work here, she is good at cleaning my pipes. Bazinga!
    I work at the most boring place no one ever leaves choice P-A notes around. Occasionally a post it about remembering to refill the LN2 dewar if you empty it but that is it.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 9:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   wonderman

      You are so very lucky. The admin assistant posts PA notes on the second (sometimes first) infraction of any sort in the break room or copy room.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:53 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   Cady

    Exhibit A: Aaaaw, you just got SERVED! It’s ON!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   flib

    Team don’t be a disgusting pig in the bathroom…

    Sep 28, 2010 at 10:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Mo® bang

      Save it for the lunch room and don’t forget to erase any time left on the microwave.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 10:50 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #14   claw71 bang

    Covering your food in the microwave might help keep the microwave clean, but it also traps harmful radiation in your food. If your mother wasn’t so busy cleaning up the rest room she’d tell you that.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 12:36 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   SomeGuy

      You trollin’?

      Nov 20, 2010 at 2:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   scientifically

    Learn how microwaves work before posting such a stupid idea that it will “trap harmful radiation”.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 1:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   anglophile bang

      Yeah, claw. Be sure to provide us with a copy of your diploma from Microwave School before you show your face here again!

      Sep 28, 2010 at 1:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      Hey, scientifically, learn how to gigglebrax before posting such a stupid insult to claw.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 2:02 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   Mo® bang

      re: ICP- “Microwaves, how do they work?”

      Sep 28, 2010 at 3:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   sleeps

      The world has so many magical mysteries.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   sarjo

      yeah, geesh, dat was dumb, claw! but for the love of all that’s holy, never ever ever LOOK at the food that is in the microwave. you will get eye cancer.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 3:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #16   Russkie

    In Soviet Russia, my mother nags like you!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #17   Odious

    learn some physics, food for thought man
    electricity is drawn when something draws it
    but then, you just wanted to be p/a

    Sep 29, 2010 at 1:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   FeRD bang

      Um, learn more physics. Most technology exhibits non-uniform power consumption. Devices can draw much, much more energy during their shutdown and start-up phases than when “idling”. This is especially true if the device is built with power-saving features.

      It can very often, in fact, be true that leaving a frequently-used computer running in “sleep” mode wastes less power than shutting it down just to start it up again. Those cycles can also be harder on some components. (If you’re worried about overnight consumption, make someone responsible for shutting it down at the end of the day.)

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   sarjo

      Real question, Ferd: does turning a regular light on and off = more energy used than leaving it on?

      Sep 30, 2010 at 3:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   GhostWriter bang

      Yes, because I get more tired turning a light on and off.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   butt

    note #2… [citation needed]

    Sep 29, 2010 at 7:55 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   Leila

    I hate those note makers.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 1:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   Helen

    I think the microwave note to cover the food in the microwave is an excellent housekeeping tip. I will post a reminder for myself tomorrow, after I go to Office Depot and buy purple post its.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 11:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   MaggieB

    I love people who make shit up about devices taking more power to turn on and off than to just leave on. Sorry, lazy retard, every time that myth has been tested for any device it’s been 100% busted. If you wanna mock a tedious note, don’t do it by making it clear that you have no fucking clue what you’re talking about. Until you can put together a rebuttal that actually works, just get off your damn ass and hit the fucking power button.

    Oct 2, 2010 at 12:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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