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The neighborhood warning wagon

September 28th, 2010 · 157 comments

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

Welcome to our neighborhood, I just wanted to let you know, that your house has been over the years had really bad police reports on late nigh beer parties! (10 PM to almost all night) Please keep in mind that this neighborhood will not tolerate "late night parties" Which includes: yelling, talking loud on back porches and your back yard and loud friends that visit! Especially this Labor Day Weekend! I understand that you college kids like to drink and have fun, but! After 10 PM if noise is too loud, police will be called, there are alot of elderly, kids and families in this area that will not tolerate this bullshit! I know Bill Mills very well (BC College) and if you guys "act up"! Calls will be made! Please show some respect in our neighborhood and keep the noise level low! If not! Police will be called! Have a good school year and be good neighbors, ok?


related: Passive voice abuse

FILED UNDER: alot · beer · Boston · CAPS LOCK · college life · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · I'm telling on you! · kids today · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · noise · p.s. · passive voice · smiley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · warning · You call that punctuation?

157 responses so far ↓

  • #1   ashmeadow

    This person is writing MUCH TOO LOUD. I WILL make some CALLS.

    Seriously, though, if he doesn’t want to hear outside noises, maybe he should try blaming his crappy paper thin walls and move to Siberia.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:39 pm   rating: 75  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   KenriH bang

      Seems to be a woman’s handwriting

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #2   pony girl

    Road trip to Danny’s place.
    I’ll bring the beer bong and a few kegs.
    Anyone know any garage bands?

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:44 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   farcical aquatic ceremony

      I’m in! I just gots to see them “elderly” and “kids” who “will not tolerate this bullshit” — I’m picturing tots and crotchety seniors ineffectually wielding pitchforks…good times…

      Sep 28, 2010 at 6:00 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Kim H.

      I am all ready for the trip! I will bring the snacks…. I think that all day right up to 10pm would be very effective and fun way for this note writing buffoon to be entertained by some fun lovin, beer drinkin and loud talkin neighbors!! This way the eedjit won’t be “woke” up……bet the local cops just LOVE this beeotch!!

      Sep 28, 2010 at 6:53 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   TheOldSchool bang

      The letter writer does have a point.

      If you were to buy a home on fraternity row, the last thing you’d expect is having your sleep disrupted by late-night drinking parties.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   Clumber

      I’m in too! As far as garage band, I was lead guitar for a loud pre-grunge band in the late 80s. I still have a couple guitars, but haven’t played or practiced *in years* so I think that I would be uniquely qualified for such a project. I’ll have to search around for a nice honkin’ amp with a slight squeal problem… So who’s got drums?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   Mo® bang

      Party Pony? I’m in!
      Bass player with big tube amp.
      We need a drummer!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.6   pony girl

      wooohoooo!! Convoy!!
      I actually have a band living next door to me. They have regular gigs in Austin, maybe they’ll want to go on tour and help us out.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:03 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #2.7   ccbweb

      I can’t carry a tune with handles, but my 7th grade chorus teacher said I made up for it with “volume and enthusiasm.” I’m in and I’ll happily sit in with a garage band. I think I’d do quite well in the neighborhood.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:12 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #2.8   Madrias

      I can pound on drums using flashlights for added lighting effect, plus I have gotten good at making burgers without burning them.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:39 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #2.9   infant tyrone bang

      Aloha, PG !

      Sounds like a spectacle in the making.
      Battle of the Bands…The SmackDown in BeanTown.
      In the young corner, Garage Bands.
      In the older corner, Grudge Bands.
      Raucous Youth vs. Screeching Senility

      Logistics prevent me from being there,
      but I’d sure as hell shell out $$ for Pay-Per-View.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.10   pony girl

      Aloha, IT!

      I think there is a band called Raucous Youth..


      Sep 30, 2010 at 7:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #2.11   Scribbles the Monkey bang


      I’ll grab the drums after that flashlight trick fizzles.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 3:13 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #2.12   clumber

      ahhh… bummer. I was hoping we’d name the band something like “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”. The crowds will yell our name all day night long (until 10).

      Oct 3, 2010 at 4:52 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kay

    I take offence at the introductory description. This person is far more aggressive and far less passive than any schizoid I know.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:46 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Guy

      Agreed. Schizophrenia (or “schizo”) is not a replacement word for “acting like a jerk.”

      Sep 28, 2010 at 6:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Jen

      Schizoid is something different entirely from Schizophrenia and nothing about this email makes me think Schizoid.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Nack

      They should’ve just said plain “Psycho”. I agree. And add you three to the bucket. We’ll have a Happy Meal!

      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:30 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   TheOldSchool bang

      Since when do Happy Meals come with four separate menu items?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:09 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   Fratgurl

      Umm… Chicken nuggets?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #4   Trish

    I know it would be passive aggressive, but I would throw LOUD keggers every damn night and at EXACTLY 10pm tell everyone to go home. I also might have loud sex at all hours, or jump on the bed a lot. All alone, so that when the cops come they’ll think she’s looney tunes.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:47 pm   rating: 54  small thumbs up

  • #5   Aksijuice



    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:49 pm   rating: 76  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   TheSnarkShark

      Poor living choices? Really? Clearly you’ve never been to BC, which is on the border between Boston and Chestnut Hill – one of the most prestigious neighborhoods in the country. BC’s campus sits in the middle of million + dollar homes.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:39 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   KM

      I go to BC – students live in cheap apartments near public transportation and bars. Maybe parts of Brookline and Chestnut Hill are nice and prestigious, but not where the students live!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   R

      If the houses are 1 million +, the kids probably aren’t living in one as the rent would be too much. They may just be in an area where the commute to the college isn’t too bad.

      I don’t blame the writer for not liking late night parties, I blame her for taking it out on people who have nothing to do with her previous bad experience.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:18 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   derebal

      I live between BC and BU- the students haven’t moved into the million dollar neighborhoods, but they have taken over what used to working class and immigrant neighborhoods- just look at Allston.

      There are definitely people around here who bought their houses 30 or 40 years ago when it was a quiet neighborhood of working families, then been unpleasantly surprised when a frat house bought the building next door. It’s not a poor living choice- the neighborhood changed around them, and they often can’t afford to move.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 6:44 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #6   berge bang

    It’s a good thing she highlighted the important parts – otherwise, you might just figure it wasn’t all that important.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:55 pm   rating: 59  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   orinoco womble

      The excessive underlining loses its emphasis and just says “exagerrated nutcase”. I can just imagine the writer, redfaced, sweaty brow, panting their way through the writing and stabbing the pen on the paper to add the underlines.
      “Not to mention” the “misplaced” “quotation marks.”
      I love the tearing of the note. Was it superglued to someone’s door, or did the recipient start to rip it up and then thought, “NO! I’ll send it to PAN instead!”

      Sep 29, 2010 at 7:06 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #7   Kia

    Living in a neighborhood that is now being over run with college kids, I say the letter writer is a better person than me. Fuck a warning. I just call the cops. You’re up til 4am shrieking and yelling in a working class neighborhood. Your got damn neighbors have to work. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUFS.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:56 pm   rating: 55  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   PrettyAmiable

      Yeah, why should you respect them when you’re pre-supposing they won’t respect you?? You show those apparently promiscuous college kids!

      Sep 28, 2010 at 10:07 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Mo® bang

      If they are yelling and screeching at 4am doesn’t that mean they have already disrespected their neighbors?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Madrias

      I’ve got downstairs neighbors who can’t respect anyone enough to realize we don’t want to hear their party from 8 until 9… the next day.

      If you can’t party right, don’t party at all. I’ve forgiven previous tenants who partied till 2, because it happens. I’ve also forgiven the drunks crashing into things down there at 5 in the morning cause they’ve got a hangover from hell. Parties from 8 at night to 7 in the morning deserve the cops called and the participants shot.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:43 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #8   farcical aquatic ceremony

    It’s funny: if you read just the UNhighlighted sentences, you have a friendly–albeit rather pointless–note!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:56 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   livphi

      I thought the same thing :) And, my eyes were more drawn to the unhighlighted areas due to the rest of it looking like used toilet paper.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 6:12 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #9   berge bang

    And nothing says “please show some respect” like a double-exclamation-points-turned-smiley-face.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:58 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

  • #10   dixiechick

    No wonder they need their beauty sleep–do you have any idea how exhausting it must have been to double-underline nearly every separate word in that note? The noise police should arrest the writer for the volume of that note!
    –signed, the mousy little library-science student who always wears headphones when she listens to music. This is not looking like a happy place for her, either.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:58 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Mo® bang

      ♬ She blinded me with library-science! ♫

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:24 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #11   JetJackson

    I would leave a bulk pack of disposable earplugs on the neighbours doorstep with a note “These should last you through for our freshman year.”

    Sep 28, 2010 at 5:59 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Madrias

      I’ve done similar when I used to party. 100 pack of earplugs does wonders, especially when I’ve been mean and epoxied the lid in place.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   dixiechick

    (Is BC College where you go to get your BC powders for the headache the next day?)

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   sleeps

      BC College; brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department. Makers of MLB Baseball.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 8:26 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   FeRD bang

      Well done! I would like to offer you a small cash award in recognition of that joke. Just hang on while I run out to the ATM machine and withdraw $20 dollars.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   clumber

      FeRD! Don’t forget your PIN number!

      Oct 3, 2010 at 4:53 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.4   jointgifts

      graduated from BC a few years ago. always got a few good laughs out of everyone that called it BC College, although I’ve never heard any locals call it that… This person moved into a college neighborhood and then has the audacity to threaten people who haven’t caused any problems?

      Oct 6, 2010 at 12:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #13   lithiumbunny

    Aw, I have been on both sides of this situation (and in Boston, too!). My friends and I would have had a field day with a note like this. Sadly I am now a boring old person living in a University neighborhood, and I can almost imagine writing a note like this (sans highlighter and girly block letters).

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:03 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   megs

      Same here. When I was a college kid this would have amused me to no end, but now that I’m an almost-homeowner I have sympathy for the neighbors. Who knows… maybe the neighborhood was “normal” and then the owner decided to rent to college students. Not saying college kids are bad people, but there’s no denying that they keep different hours (and generally habits) than us old fogies.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 8:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   bean

    If they are 5 seconds (WTF?) away, why not just Wilson the message instead of the passive agressive post?

    Sounds like crazy wants to cover it’s ass to the landlords and give the new kids a chance to screw it up.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:03 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   Bunnee

    In addition to being all caps and highlighted all to hell, the loopy, girly lettering is REALLY hard to read. I now have a small headache. AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE TORN-OFF PARTS SAY!!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:12 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #16   Bunnee

    “Nothing is worse than being woke up in the middle of the night.”…?

    How about when a pompous note writing neighbor says “woke up” instead of “awakened”?

    Something tells me that the note writer miiiight be partial to hyperbole.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #17   Andy Lester

    Forwarded to the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #18   Dave Anthony

    I can understand not wanting loud parties on weeknights, but not even on labor day weekend? What a bitch.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:40 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Janellionaire

      No, ESPECIALLY not Labor Day weekend. Other weekends are ok.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:43 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #19   prairielily

    Ah, noise complaints. I’ve always been sympathetic to them, until recently when my friend who lives near Yonge-Dundas Square in Toronto told me that all the old people in her building complain about the noise.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:45 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   kimK

      Wait, they live in a major square in the downtown of a major city and are shocked by the noise?

      Oct 8, 2010 at 6:49 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #20   Jonathan

    That “loud noise” was fucking delicious. *eyebrow waggle* THX SANDRA, again!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Madrias

      I’m waiting for Woman on the Verge to get you…

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      I hate you, Jonathan.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:28 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   FeRD bang

      *disappointed sigh*
      You’re just going through the motions, now, aren’t you dear?

      I blame myself. You used to be on the Verge! These days I’m not even sure you’re verge-adjacent. Where did I go wrong!?!?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #20.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      I’m having some health issues, FeRD. I’ll try to bring it next time. I HAVE been phoning it in.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 7:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.5   clumber

      Get well soon, WotV. Need any enemies smited? (smote?) ♥♥

      Oct 3, 2010 at 4:55 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   ghostbuck

    I can sort of sympathize with the note writer. A few years ago some moron started renting a house in our quiet neighborhood to college kids and we all had to endure screaming and booming music at 3 in the morning, beer bottles strewn up and down the street, drunk kids peeing in our bushes, and other great property price enhancing activities.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:55 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

  • #22   Mad As Hell

    I would have what SOUNDS like a raucous party and have some friends stationed out on the street who would alert me when the police came. Then I would put on some classical music, have an open book in my hand and have the officers snoop around. That would be fun. And I’d do it every weeknight until the cops stop coming. Then…. free to party!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 6:59 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Mo® bang

      We can’t do that in my town because if they come out three times you get a fine and then a fine for every occurence after that. :sad:
      It is a University town and the crabby oldsters on the town council came up with that scheme to crack down on the loud shenanigans and make some money for the town. Some of them graduated in the early eighties and I know for a fact that they used to have epic parties. Hypocrites!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Sesquipedalian

      So, if one wants to cause financial harm to someone else in your town, Mo®, all one has to do is place a series of spurious noise pollution complaints to the cops?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:46 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #22.3   flib


      If they come out and you aren’t doing anything wrong, they would fine the person who called.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:49 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #22.4   Mo®

      Yeah it kind of seems that way. I think flib is right though. If the squad car cruises the neighborhood and finds it quiet then the caller would get a visit from the 5-0.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #23   Monique

    I misread the loopy handwriting, I thought it said hate night parties, and immediately thought of parties where people get together, drink beer, and bitch about everything they hate.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 7:20 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Janellionaire

      No, that would be a sorority house.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:45 am   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #23.2   Beanster bang

      That was an annual party for my friends in Uni. We drank whiskey and gatorade (dubbed “hatorade”) and covered a wall with paper, providing sharpies for all.

      Hatefest was pretty funny the next morning.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 9:42 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #23.3   se

      I also read it at first as “hate night”. read “elderly kids” too. wondered what elderly kids were.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:11 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #23.4   sarjo

      Benjamin Button is what they were.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #24   Ashley

    Hey, at least she’s warning them in advance. When I started college – first time away from home, renting with three other 19 year-old kids – we thought having 30 people over to party on a Wednesday night was just the coolest thing ever… until months later, when we found out our neighbors all wanted to kill us. On the other hand, expecting a bunch of college kids to keep quiet on a Labor Day weekend is going a bit far.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 7:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #25   Elizabeth

    I have almost sent this exact kind of letter to the college kids living in a building across the street from me. Every bit of it. Man, I have to excuse the letter writer’s excesses because it really does suck being woken up in the middle of the night by loud partying coming from the porch across the street and through my closed windows. Drunken girls WOOHOOing at 3am on a Tuesday FTL.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   Clumber

      Perhaps, but the new tenants haven’t had a chance yet to wake them up with the loud. I mean, at least have the courtesy of letting them earn your hatred first?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:11 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

  • #26   Jen

    Pretty sure the cops aren’t going to legally have to give a shit if Captain Highlighter calls them before 11pm, and midnight on weekends.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   PrettyAmiable

      In DC, parties would get broken up before ten by police. Which is cool, because, you know, it’s not like the cops would want to do anything about the obscene murder rate in the nation’s capitol.

      Sep 28, 2010 at 10:11 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #26.2   Kia

      Depends on your state, Jen. It’s 10 in California, but they will come earlier if it’s a nuisance. Like the effing quincinera that I could hear from 2 blocks over.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:09 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #27   matt

    There is an easy fix to late night party animals: kill their unit switchbox to plunge them into the dark, then play creepy parts of The Hills Have Eyes.. kill them, kill them all . Generally you just screw with their head so much that they are freaked out for life

    Sep 28, 2010 at 8:58 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #28   sexysmell

    You’d think it would be easier just to move to a different neighbourhood rather than write some limp wristed note everytime someone new moves in.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 9:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #28.1   derebal

      Yeah, because it’s real easy to sell your house in a bad housing market. Almost as easy as finding affordable housing in Boston that hasn’t been turned into a student neighborhood!

      Oct 1, 2010 at 6:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #29   calouste

    Having lived in that neighborhood, I think that the party noises might be preferable to the bulimia noises or the fucking noises…

    Also, apartments in that area tend to have heat included with no real way to control it, so one is forced to have the windows open during winter… making the late night beer parties seem oh so much closer!

    *still wincing 15 years later*

    Sep 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #30   Catburglar

    “Dear” Neighbor- I must admit that I have never thought about throwing a “hate night” party before now. I feel inspired!!!! Can’t think of a better time to star than this Labor Day weekend, and be assured that I don’t play “houd” music, so there shouldn’t be a problem! Hey, stop by for the beer bong competition. Should really get going around 10pm! Thanks!!!!!

    Sep 28, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #31   Marie


    on a side note, I would like to confess that the reason I decided to “like” passive aggressive notes on FB was a passive aggressive response to the passive aggressive status updates of a FB friend…

    woo, I feel much better now.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 11:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #31.1   park rose bang

      Thanks for that, Marie. We were all wondering.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:47 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

    • #31.2   FeRD bang

      Well done, Marie. Confession is good for the soul. Now, for your penance, say 10 fucking deliciouses and 3 THX SANDRAs, and your sins will be forgiven. In nomine deus, in nomine notitia passivus-aggressivus.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:06 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #31.3   eslinger bang

      That confession was fucking delicious.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 3:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #32   Dea

    it surprises me how many people got gun ho against that note. yeah i agree she should not have written it, just walking over should be fine, but having lived and living now in the same situation i can understand her. people need to be considerate, college kid or not, u r an adult u need to think of other people. as far as ‘easier to move’ argument, did you fucking try to sell a hose and move?! i don’t think so, i would love to do that but can’t so by ur reasoning i should let some loud asses ruin my night? hell no! there is a way to have a good party without wanting your neighbors to kill you. learn it. do it.

    Sep 28, 2010 at 11:57 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #32.1   park rose bang

      i trd 2 buy ur hse, but i cdnt fgre out who u wr.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:51 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

    • #32.2   TippingCows

      Something happens to me when I see single letters used for whole words.

      Hey ALL,

      We’re getting together for a Hate Night Party 10pm at my place. Bring drinks but nothing alcoholic and please remember that my toilet does NOT DO BIG JOBS so no dropping off your brown babies in my pool.


      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:34 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #32.3   Choices

      I think the point is that you should not have purchased a “hose” on fraternity row in the FIRST place.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #32.4   SeaD

      I think another point is that the letter writer is ASSuming the new renters will be loud. Not every college student parties, so wait until they do to start with the hate mail.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:11 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #32.5   sleeps

      It’s hard to find a good gun ho these days. And even harder to sell a hose since the hosing market collapsed.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:44 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #32.6   FeRD bang

      It hasn’t colapsed, it’s just in a recesion. (Which I think is what surgons do, when they’ve made the first cesion in the wron plac. Unless, of course, your insurance has llapsed.)

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #33   Rebecca

    I’ve drafted that same letter myself, in the middle of the night, but only in my head. Noisy beer parties next door can make a person crazy like that. I swear I never wrote it down, much less sent the thing.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 12:13 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #33.1   TheOldSchool bang

      Drafting letters inside your own head?

      Rebecca, be careful. Self-medicating is one thing, but self-lobotomizing is far more serious.

      (Especially in the middle of the night!)

      Sep 29, 2010 at 4:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #34   Emily

    This is one of those situations where the letter writer would have a point if (s)he hadn’t written such a bat shit crazy letter. Yes, it’s important to be a good neighbor, which includes not having loud late night parties. It also includes not sending borderline psychotic notes to your new neighbors before you’ve even met them. Hell, even doing it in person, rather than through the mail would have been better. Would it have been too much to ask for crazy neighbor to drop off a batch of cookies or a potted plant along with that note?

    Sep 29, 2010 at 12:33 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #34.1   SeaD

      That reminds me of the time my upstairs neighbors woke me up repeadly on work nights, with bumping, thumping base playing until 3:00 am. I took them a bottle of wine with a postcard attched that read: “Without music, life would be a mistake.” I told them I loved their music, but needed my beauty rest during the week. We all had a good laugh and they became some very close friends. Catch more bees with honey, type of thing. NOW I am on the other end. Getting complaints about loud noise at 5 pm on a Friday night.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:16 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #34.2   FeRD bang

      An ex of mine moved into an apartment, years ago, that was on the top floor of a house. The landlord lived below. Cut to a couple of weeks after move-in, when Glumlord starts complaining that my ex should stop walking around in the apartment after 10pm, because the floors (in his shitty house!) creaked.

      Needless to say, that apartment didn’t last long.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #35   Tracy

    I’d take this note right to whoever this “Bill Mills” is at the school and hope it backfires, in that the said BC (administrator/dean/whoever) has absolutely no knowledge of who the note writer is and takes offense at his name being dropped in such a manner.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 12:36 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #35.1   FeRD bang

      I would think that Bill would be more offended if someone he does know is dropping his name in such a manner!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #35.2   Sue

      Can’t one deduct who wrote the note from the return address on the envelope? It was mailed, remember…

      Oct 2, 2010 at 6:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #36   Odious

    Who the fuck writes “hate night”, “houd noises”, measures distance in seconds, and claims a house has “been over the years had really bad”?
    Aside from the atrocious grammar and misuse of the alphabet, this person’s the most p/a note writer yet!
    Damn that’s a p/a thing to do!

    Sep 29, 2010 at 1:57 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #36.1   Mo® bang

      Physics major maybe?
      c^2=\frac{\partial p}{\partial\rho}

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:45 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #37   Frosty

    I swear this damn letter could have come, word-for-word (well, replace Boston College with Montana State) from my old crazy landlord. I can safely say that I was actually *happy* to get evicted out of that place so I could escape her…

    Sep 29, 2010 at 1:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #38   Splint Chesthair

    As a reformed hardcore partyer, I feel for the note writer a bit. One problem is that this seems to be the first attempt. I’d have much more sympathy if this was a last resort. But I still feel for her.

    When I was in college, my poor neighbors were always complaining about the kids peeing on the house, or puking in the bushes. The poor lady downstairs called me one morning to ask me to clean the puke off her windows (people were puking out my windows).

    Sep 29, 2010 at 7:17 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #38.1   Ndawg

      It actually seems to be some kind of preemptive attempt. It’s beautifully hi-lited:

      X Regards to possible houd beer parties!! XX

      That sounds like a happy greeting to some awesome event that hasn’t even happened yet.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 7:50 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #39   havingfitz

    We moved into a new house when I was 4 and my brother was 1. I remember we hadn’t even been there an hour before our new elderly neighbor showed up on our porch yelling at my mother that she ‘better keep those kids quiet and not let them play in the backyard’ because her husband was ill. We were not especially loud children but we were children, and moving into house with a large backyard was kind of a selling point for my parents…my mother made sure that we were outside as much as possible, and bought us lots of noisy toys…

    Sep 29, 2010 at 7:37 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #39.1   Clumber

      Can i have your mom?

      no, no.. not like that…. my childhood is just jealous of yours. sigh….

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:16 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #39.2   Mo® bang

      Me too!

      Sep 29, 2010 at 8:49 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #39.3   Sue

      Good for her! It’s not like the police are going to bring in a couple of kids for making some noise while they’re playing outside.

      Oct 2, 2010 at 6:33 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #40   Ann onymouse

    The letter writer doesn’t win any points for being clear and understandable…and the poorly written letter makes it more likely that people won’t pay attention to it..and it’s not passive aggressive, really, is it?

    The problem is real, though; I lived in the area for over 40 years. Many of the homeowners in the area have also been there for many decades. They did not move in to “fraternity row” — they were in a family neighborhood that was near BC, but not a part of it in any way. And BC was not that big and was self-contained.

    The problem came when BC grew enrollment much, much faster than they grew dorm space, so many students had to live off campus.

    As long time residents grew old and sold their homes, some were bought by landlords who just wanted the most money they could get and would rent to large (6+) groups of students for thousands a month. The students didn’t know or didn’t care that they were in a quiet residential area — they wanted to Paaaarty! And gee, well, one bathroom, many people, well let’s pee or crap on the neighbor’s lawn, park in their driveway, or dump our trash in their yard because ours is full…you get the idea.

    Finally BC and the city of Boston instituted a real, significant crackdown on illegal parties — to the point where there has been a special party patrol, and students get brought into court and also face discipline from the school.

    And people trying to talk to the students in the past have been harassed and threatened. I guess I understand why the writer tried to do it by a letter. Still….

    Is it more passive aggressive to warn the students (although please, take the time to write a better note!) or to just wait til the first offense, and wham them with the BC and Boston cops, school officials, and court?

    Sep 29, 2010 at 7:55 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #40.1   Splint Chesthair

      I went to a BC house party in 1994, the night the football team beat Notre Dame in the Holy War. Maybe I peed in your bushes? Did you have a big tree in your yard and did you scream, “Get the hell out of here you disgusting pig!” and make smack into the tree and run away with my weiner hanging out?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:59 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #40.2   infant tyrone bang

      Dear Ann onymouse,

      Letter = more p/a.
      However, college + cops + court + etc = more educational !

      Your humble correspondent,

      P.S. Is your sister, Synthia, more or less the same as ever ?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #40.3   park rose

      See, Splint – it’s no little wonder that Dea at comment 32 is having trouble trying to sell her hose when there are so many free ones for the taking.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #40.4   infant tyrone bang

      Rite U R, rose…
      I can’t tell if the item on offer is a house, a horse, or a house for a horse.
      Makes me wonder whether or not the cellar is stable.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #40.5   Brighton Resident

      Thanks for writing this, Ann onymouse.

      Ever since the school year started, I’ve been kept awake on weekends by loud parties across the street from my bedroom window. I only moved a few blocks from where I used to live in Allston, and I did not experience this sort of problem there. It’s just these three houses in a row across the street.

      So, it’s not the area, per se; it’s just that the rent and proximity to BC and BU bring so many students to the area, and some of them are loud and couldn’t care less (literally) about their neighbors.

      Last Saturday I had a couple of girls screaming at each other at the top of their lungs, one of them (Molly, I heard) was obviously extremely drunk and had no idea anyone else existed except for her girlfriend, with whom she wanted nothing more to do (“Find your own way home!”). It was almost like being forced to watch bad TV. This was at midnight. My wife had a triathlon for which we had to be up at 5am the next day. Not a cool combination.

      It’s not particularly cool either to tell us to move out of the area because we don’t like the behavior of some, when in fact the behavior of the few is the problem. They are the ones breaking the law, and they should be held accountable. Thank goodness for party patrol. I’m going to be getting in touch with them if this madness continues.
      For the record, neither my wife nor I are elderly (nor do we yet have any kids), but we are everyday people trying to live normal lives, and that includes a decent night’s sleep. Most people aren’t in a position to stay up late every weekend and sleep in late. We have other things to do.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 7:25 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #40.6   jointgifts

      I can appreciate that the people that lived in the area for 40+ years might have a problem with this, but it is not as though the off-campus housing arose overnight. Additionally, as you well know, locals don’t call the school “BC College.” I am sympathetic to people who are surprised by the abundance of college students and new homes being turned into rental properties around them, but for the majority of these people, this is not a new phenomenon and this woman very likely moved into the neighborhood after it had already been established as a college area.

      Oct 6, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #41   Clumber

    I’m nearly speechless at the assholedness of the sender of the letter. Holding new residents responsible for previous tenant behavior, really? My reaction would be along the lines of “You think they were bad, get a load of us! You’ll have to buy a Sharpie® for the next tenants’ welcome letter!”

    Sep 29, 2010 at 8:19 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #42   Green

    Find a nicer piece of paper to write on before you accuse your new neighbor of things they haven’t done yet.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 9:26 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #43   10PM to Almost All Night | Happy Valley News Hour

    [...] Posted on September 29, 2010 by Kamper| Leave a comment Passive Aggressive Notes has a hilarious welcome letter for some Boston College students moving into their new house. It’s probably a sign of my age [...]

    Sep 29, 2010 at 10:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #44   Brigs

    Nice Name drop… I wonder if good ole Billy Mills strikes fear in the hearts of BC Undergrads everywhere.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 11:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #44.1   jointgifts

      he doesn’t…

      Oct 6, 2010 at 12:18 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #45   TheSnarkShark

    Bostonian here –
    Team Note Writer. I lived in Allston/Brighton , near BU. After nicely asking for the parties to break up at 2 or 3 in the morning a few times, and for people not to park in other people’s assigned spots, and being ignored or sworn at, I just called the police every single weekend, and made sure I was good and loud getting ready for work at 7AM on Saturdays.
    Hung over? Too damn bad.
    Nice only gets you so far, especially if it’s a problem house and you’ve gone through all the correct channels to no avail. Rent in the Hub is too obscenely expensive to deal with inconsiderate people.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #45.1   Madrias

      Guilty. Nothing better than the 6AM burnout past all the noisy party houses. E-brake on and floor it. By the time anyone’s coherent enough to call the cops, I’m long gone and at work, where I work till 11 (part time), come home, and go relax in front of a nice glowing screen, reading my passive aggressive notes.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 1:27 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #45.2   Ed Depaine

      Tossing a few, saved from the 4th, M-80′s at the offending houses at 6am would work well too.
      In Vegas people are up at all hours so learning to sleep with earplugs is a must. Such P-A notes are only laughed at and disregarded.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 2:00 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #45.3   Madrias

      I save fireworks for the huge New Years Eve party. Everyone’s drunk and hungover on January first, and I like my celebrations at 5 AM. light everything off and watch the fun.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #45.4   FeRD bang

      New Years Eve parties in your area aren’t still going at 5am? …Wow. Lame.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #45.5   Madrias

      No, they’re still going, but it’s the point at which the more sane people are partying from midnight on, and usually sober. It’s the drunk idiots who partied from 6 PM until 3 AM and crashed cause they got pass-out drunk.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:39 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #46   pinecone

    Funny, in my apartment complex it’s just the opposite. The college kids are usually asleep before midnight (on weekdays at least) because of early classes, but its the old farts downstairs who “talk loudly on their porch” that just so happens to be under my bedroom window until 2 am, disturbing MY sleep.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 12:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #46.1   Ed Depaine

      Those old farts are reminiscing about the good old days. They would go inside but the batteries on their rascal scooters went dead.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 12:48 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #46.2   Pinecone

      Perhaps it’s the batteries in their hearing aids that have gone, on Tuesday and Thursday I get to be woken up 2 hours before my alarm clock by the insane honking of someone picking one of my “neighbors” up. Or maybe it’s their drug dealer. I don’t know.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 12:07 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #47   KenriH bang

    I don’t understand why the letter writer is so damn uptight. They practically have an in to every college party. Get drunk, go wild and party like you’re 18 again.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 1:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #47.1   Ed Depaine

      Like it is 1999?

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #48   Woman on the Verge bang

    Okay, I’m not even a college student and my attention wandered right after “Welcome to our Neighborhood”. If it’s longer than 140 characters those kids aren’t even going to try.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 3:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #48.1   Madrias

      In some cases, try 32.

      Me, on the other hand, I’ll read up to 1400, but that’s including spaces and paragraph/line returns. If it’s a nasty note, I’ll find it and submit it, but I don’t carry a camera with me all the time.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 3:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #49   Zsa

    Anyone else notice the highlighting seems a bit aged and the date of “SepT2nd 2010″ seems added as an afterthought? I bet that she has sent this letter every time new renters move in.

    It hasn’t worked “just right” yet so she keeps adding bits to make it better:
    Underlining – nope, they ignored me.

    Subject line on top (cause these kids, they know email) – not quite, they wadded it up and left it on my doorstep.

    Highlighting – not quite, they wadded it up and left it on my doorstep.

    I KNOW! This time I’ll put the date on it. THAT will let them know I mean business!

    Ijit. knock on the door, say hello and have a bit of interaction with them before you burn them for someone else’s sins.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #49.1   anglophile bang

      I think the highlighting seems a bit aged because that highlighter sees a lot of action.

      She probably highlights every item on her grocery list.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 5:06 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #50   TheKim

    Am glad someone finally cleared up where BC College is located.

    It was the over-40 neighbors who caused all the noise in my last home. Someone had built a stage in their backyard and all I heard was half-hearted drunkenly-played hits from the 70s being jammed from 11-3 a.m. on weekends. I never want to hear “a horse with no name” again.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 6:13 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #50.1   Sue

      Oof. I feel your pain! I have a sad excuse for a “band” near my house, too — although, fortunately, they’re pretty considerate about the hours.

      It’s just too bad the police won’t respond to reports of someone murdering a song…

      Oct 2, 2010 at 6:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #51   chrys

    Dear Neighbor,

    Sep 29, 2010 at 8:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #52   Anna

    Er, does it bother anyone else that “BC College” is redundant?

    Sep 29, 2010 at 9:53 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #52.1   TippingCows

      Yes it does. Much like those that insist on “ATM machine” and “PIN number” and numerous other atrocities of redundancy … it makes me shudder.

      Sep 29, 2010 at 10:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #52.2   Aimily

      My mom talks about people going to the “ER Room.” It makes me want to tear off my own ears.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 4:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #52.3   steeroy

      A lot of people complain about that, but what do you do instead, call them PI numbers? B College? SA tests?

      Sep 30, 2010 at 4:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #52.4   Madrias

      PINs, BC, SAT’s

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:02 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #53   FeRD bang

    I think Danny and his roommates should don their flaming-est finery (doesn’t matter if they’re not gay, in fact it’s funnier that way), and go over to the neighbor’s house. Explain that they received the wonderful note, and understood from it that neighbor was interested in joining ACT UP! and making some calls. (Play completely dumb; remain immune to any and all attempts to explain that the note had nothing to do with ACT UP! You can take cues on how to do this effectively by watching the masters of impenetrable misconception — your Palins, your Becks, etc.)

    Come armed with plenty of literature: pamphlets, posters, video of past demonstrations… at least an hour’s worth of material you’d like to walk him/her through, step by excruciating step. Repeatedly detour into warm, effusive expressions of your admiration for neighbor’s willingness to join the cause and get involved in such important work. If (in)appropriate, flirt with them aggressively the whole time.

    Sep 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #54   pylgrim

    Nothing screams “passive-aggressive” as loud and clear as going as batshit crazy on the new, perhaps innocent neighbours as you didn’t have the backbone to be with the actual rowdy ones.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 12:31 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #55   People are funny

    I think this calls for Karaoke at Danny’s!!!!

    Sep 30, 2010 at 7:33 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #56   g

    i agree with the letter writer

    /get off my lawn

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:57 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #57   wicked opinion

    You know what I LOVE? Being yelled at on notebook paper BEFORE I EVEN DID ANYTHING!!!! Damn, lady! Already with the threats and you haven’t even met these people. How do you know they aren’t ponytailed Magic players with flabby stomachs who work at Walgreens part time? Or quiet, scary environmentalists with leg hair who will recycle their own poo? Or maybe (if you were lucky) dumb but hunky guys with nice pecs who like to walk around shirtless in low slung jeans – in January? You didn’t consider that, didja huh, Judgy McJudgerson? Some people….

    Sep 30, 2010 at 10:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #58   Vivi

    Blimey, who wrote this? Davros?!

    Also, if you can hear your neighbours *talking* in their back yard, you shouldn’t have skimped on the double-glazed windows.
    (Don’t wanna see your heating bill, mate.)

    Sep 30, 2010 at 10:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #59   Helen

    Okay, I would have:

    a) Brought cookies and welcomed them to the neighborhood.
    b) Asked them to keep it down next time after something actually happened.
    c) If they don’t, I’d plan with the children and elderly to wake them up around 6 the next day at hourly intervals so that they’d really feel their hangovers. (Wooden spoons on soup pots will do nicely.)
    d) That evening, I’d stop by and ask them AGAIN to keep the noise level of late night parties down.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #60   sunnyiscloudy

    Oh lovely. I actually live around BC and anyone of the elderly/family/child persuasion really should know better than to live there. The whole Allston-Brighton area of Boston is one giant college campus and it’s been that way for decades, so it’s not as if they were caught off guard.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 11:50 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #61   Sue

    I have to say, if I had received this note I would have brought it (and the envelope it came in) down to my local police station to file harassment charges against the neighbor. Turn-about is fair play.

    Oct 2, 2010 at 7:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #62   LG

    This is a salutory lesson showing what happens to your brain after months (if not years) of sleep deprivation.
    Should I have capitalised & underlined any of that?

    Oct 8, 2010 at 9:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #63   Dainty

    Oh god I wish this person was my neighbour just so I could piss them off with all the parties I’d throw in their honour

    I would hang banners saying ‘THIS ONE’S FOR YOU CHEERFUL’

    Oct 18, 2010 at 1:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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