Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.
I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!
related: Passive voice abuse
FILED UNDER: alot · beer · Boston · CAPS LOCK · college life · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · I'm telling on you! · kids today · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · noise · p.s. · passive voice · smiley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · warning · You call that punctuation?
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157 responses so far ↓
#1
ashmeadow
This person is writing MUCH TOO LOUD. I WILL make some CALLS.
Seriously, though, if he doesn’t want to hear outside noises, maybe he should try blaming his crappy paper thin walls and move to Siberia.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:39 pm rating: 72
#2
pony girl
Road trip to Danny’s place.
I’ll bring the beer bong and a few kegs.
Anyone know any garage bands?
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:44 pm rating: 31
#3
Kay
I take offence at the introductory description. This person is far more aggressive and far less passive than any schizoid I know.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:46 pm rating: 15
#4
Trish
I know it would be passive aggressive, but I would throw LOUD keggers every damn night and at EXACTLY 10pm tell everyone to go home. I also might have loud sex at all hours, or jump on the bed a lot. All alone, so that when the cops come they’ll think she’s looney tunes.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:47 pm rating: 52
#5
Aksijuice
PLEASE SHOW SOME RESPECT BY WRITING VERY LOUD, RETINA BURNING LETTERS TO PEOPLE WHO HAVE YET TO ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING WRONG.
P.S.
THIS INCLUDES LAVING PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE NOTES, AND EXPECTING OTHER TO ADAPT TO YOUR NEEDS DUE TO POOR LIVING CHOICES.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 70
#6
berge
It’s a good thing she highlighted the important parts – otherwise, you might just figure it wasn’t all that important.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:55 pm rating: 57
#7
Kia
Living in a neighborhood that is now being over run with college kids, I say the letter writer is a better person than me. Fuck a warning. I just call the cops. You’re up til 4am shrieking and yelling in a working class neighborhood. Your got damn neighbors have to work. SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUFS.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:56 pm rating: 53
#8
farcical aquatic ceremony
It’s funny: if you read just the UNhighlighted sentences, you have a friendly–albeit rather pointless–note!
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:56 pm rating: 19
#9
berge
And nothing says “please show some respect” like a double-exclamation-points-turned-smiley-face.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 14
#10
dixiechick
No wonder they need their beauty sleep–do you have any idea how exhausting it must have been to double-underline nearly every separate word in that note? The noise police should arrest the writer for the volume of that note!
–signed, the mousy little library-science student who always wears headphones when she listens to music. This is not looking like a happy place for her, either.
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 24
#11
JetJackson
I would leave a bulk pack of disposable earplugs on the neighbours doorstep with a note “These should last you through for our freshman year.”
Sep 28, 2010 at 5:59 pm rating: 37
#12
dixiechick
(Is BC College where you go to get your BC powders for the headache the next day?)
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:00 pm rating: 1
#13
lithiumbunny
Aw, I have been on both sides of this situation (and in Boston, too!). My friends and I would have had a field day with a note like this. Sadly I am now a boring old person living in a University neighborhood, and I can almost imagine writing a note like this (sans highlighter and girly block letters).
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:03 pm rating: 21
#14
bean
If they are 5 seconds (WTF?) away, why not just Wilson the message instead of the passive agressive post?
Sounds like crazy wants to cover it’s ass to the landlords and give the new kids a chance to screw it up.
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:03 pm rating: 0
#15
Bunnee
In addition to being all caps and highlighted all to hell, the loopy, girly lettering is REALLY hard to read. I now have a small headache. AND I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE TORN-OFF PARTS SAY!!
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:12 pm rating: 11
#16
Bunnee
“Nothing is worse than being woke up in the middle of the night.”…?
Really?
Nothing?
How about when a pompous note writing neighbor says “woke up” instead of “awakened”?
Something tells me that the note writer miiiight be partial to hyperbole.
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:20 pm rating: 22
#17
Andy Lester
Forwarded to the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks.
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:40 pm rating: 12
#18
Dave Anthony
I can understand not wanting loud parties on weeknights, but not even on labor day weekend? What a bitch.
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:40 pm rating: 30
#19
prairielily
Ah, noise complaints. I’ve always been sympathetic to them, until recently when my friend who lives near Yonge-Dundas Square in Toronto told me that all the old people in her building complain about the noise.
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:45 pm rating: 1
#20
Jonathan
That “loud noise” was fucking delicious. *eyebrow waggle* THX SANDRA, again!
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:53 pm rating: 5
#21
ghostbuck
I can sort of sympathize with the note writer. A few years ago some moron started renting a house in our quiet neighborhood to college kids and we all had to endure screaming and booming music at 3 in the morning, beer bottles strewn up and down the street, drunk kids peeing in our bushes, and other great property price enhancing activities.
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:55 pm rating: 23
#22
Mad As Hell
I would have what SOUNDS like a raucous party and have some friends stationed out on the street who would alert me when the police came. Then I would put on some classical music, have an open book in my hand and have the officers snoop around. That would be fun. And I’d do it every weeknight until the cops stop coming. Then…. free to party!
Sep 28, 2010 at 6:59 pm rating: 14
#23
Monique
I misread the loopy handwriting, I thought it said hate night parties, and immediately thought of parties where people get together, drink beer, and bitch about everything they hate.
Sep 28, 2010 at 7:20 pm rating: 16
#24
Ashley
Hey, at least she’s warning them in advance. When I started college – first time away from home, renting with three other 19 year-old kids – we thought having 30 people over to party on a Wednesday night was just the coolest thing ever… until months later, when we found out our neighbors all wanted to kill us. On the other hand, expecting a bunch of college kids to keep quiet on a Labor Day weekend is going a bit far.
Sep 28, 2010 at 7:47 pm rating: 9
#25
Elizabeth
I have almost sent this exact kind of letter to the college kids living in a building across the street from me. Every bit of it. Man, I have to excuse the letter writer’s excesses because it really does suck being woken up in the middle of the night by loud partying coming from the porch across the street and through my closed windows. Drunken girls WOOHOOing at 3am on a Tuesday FTL.
Sep 28, 2010 at 8:43 pm rating: 12
#26
Jen
Pretty sure the cops aren’t going to legally have to give a shit if Captain Highlighter calls them before 11pm, and midnight on weekends.
Sep 28, 2010 at 8:43 pm rating: 6
#27
matt
There is an easy fix to late night party animals: kill their unit switchbox to plunge them into the dark, then play creepy parts of The Hills Have Eyes.. kill them, kill them all . Generally you just screw with their head so much that they are freaked out for life
Sep 28, 2010 at 8:58 pm rating: 14
#28
sexysmell
You’d think it would be easier just to move to a different neighbourhood rather than write some limp wristed note everytime someone new moves in.
Sep 28, 2010 at 9:41 pm rating: 1
#29
calouste
Having lived in that neighborhood, I think that the party noises might be preferable to the bulimia noises or the fucking noises…
Also, apartments in that area tend to have heat included with no real way to control it, so one is forced to have the windows open during winter… making the late night beer parties seem oh so much closer!
*still wincing 15 years later*
Sep 28, 2010 at 9:42 pm rating: 4
#30
Catburglar
“Dear” Neighbor- I must admit that I have never thought about throwing a “hate night” party before now. I feel inspired!!!! Can’t think of a better time to star than this Labor Day weekend, and be assured that I don’t play “houd” music, so there shouldn’t be a problem! Hey, stop by for the beer bong competition. Should really get going around 10pm! Thanks!!!!!
Sep 28, 2010 at 9:58 pm rating: 16
#31
Marie
Nice…
on a side note, I would like to confess that the reason I decided to “like” passive aggressive notes on FB was a passive aggressive response to the passive aggressive status updates of a FB friend…
woo, I feel much better now.
Sep 28, 2010 at 11:33 pm rating: 2
#32
Dea
it surprises me how many people got gun ho against that note. yeah i agree she should not have written it, just walking over should be fine, but having lived and living now in the same situation i can understand her. people need to be considerate, college kid or not, u r an adult u need to think of other people. as far as ‘easier to move’ argument, did you fucking try to sell a hose and move?! i don’t think so, i would love to do that but can’t so by ur reasoning i should let some loud asses ruin my night? hell no! there is a way to have a good party without wanting your neighbors to kill you. learn it. do it.
Sep 28, 2010 at 11:57 pm rating: 11
#33
Rebecca
I’ve drafted that same letter myself, in the middle of the night, but only in my head. Noisy beer parties next door can make a person crazy like that. I swear I never wrote it down, much less sent the thing.
Sep 29, 2010 at 12:13 am rating: 6
#34
Emily
This is one of those situations where the letter writer would have a point if (s)he hadn’t written such a bat shit crazy letter. Yes, it’s important to be a good neighbor, which includes not having loud late night parties. It also includes not sending borderline psychotic notes to your new neighbors before you’ve even met them. Hell, even doing it in person, rather than through the mail would have been better. Would it have been too much to ask for crazy neighbor to drop off a batch of cookies or a potted plant along with that note?
Sep 29, 2010 at 12:33 am rating: 22
#35
Tracy
I’d take this note right to whoever this “Bill Mills” is at the school and hope it backfires, in that the said BC (administrator/dean/whoever) has absolutely no knowledge of who the note writer is and takes offense at his name being dropped in such a manner.
Sep 29, 2010 at 12:36 am rating: 6
#36
Odious
Who the fuck writes “hate night”, “houd noises”, measures distance in seconds, and claims a house has “been over the years had really bad”?
Aside from the atrocious grammar and misuse of the alphabet, this person’s the most p/a note writer yet!
Damn that’s a p/a thing to do!
Sep 29, 2010 at 1:57 am rating: 5
#37
Frosty
I swear this damn letter could have come, word-for-word (well, replace Boston College with Montana State) from my old crazy landlord. I can safely say that I was actually *happy* to get evicted out of that place so I could escape her…
Sep 29, 2010 at 1:58 am rating: 1
#38
Splint Chesthair
As a reformed hardcore partyer, I feel for the note writer a bit. One problem is that this seems to be the first attempt. I’d have much more sympathy if this was a last resort. But I still feel for her.
When I was in college, my poor neighbors were always complaining about the kids peeing on the house, or puking in the bushes. The poor lady downstairs called me one morning to ask me to clean the puke off her windows (people were puking out my windows).
Sep 29, 2010 at 7:17 am rating: 5
#39
havingfitz
We moved into a new house when I was 4 and my brother was 1. I remember we hadn’t even been there an hour before our new elderly neighbor showed up on our porch yelling at my mother that she ‘better keep those kids quiet and not let them play in the backyard’ because her husband was ill. We were not especially loud children but we were children, and moving into house with a large backyard was kind of a selling point for my parents…my mother made sure that we were outside as much as possible, and bought us lots of noisy toys…
Sep 29, 2010 at 7:37 am rating: 21
#40
Ann onymouse
The letter writer doesn’t win any points for being clear and understandable…and the poorly written letter makes it more likely that people won’t pay attention to it..and it’s not passive aggressive, really, is it?
The problem is real, though; I lived in the area for over 40 years. Many of the homeowners in the area have also been there for many decades. They did not move in to “fraternity row” — they were in a family neighborhood that was near BC, but not a part of it in any way. And BC was not that big and was self-contained.
The problem came when BC grew enrollment much, much faster than they grew dorm space, so many students had to live off campus.
As long time residents grew old and sold their homes, some were bought by landlords who just wanted the most money they could get and would rent to large (6+) groups of students for thousands a month. The students didn’t know or didn’t care that they were in a quiet residential area — they wanted to Paaaarty! And gee, well, one bathroom, many people, well let’s pee or crap on the neighbor’s lawn, park in their driveway, or dump our trash in their yard because ours is full…you get the idea.
Finally BC and the city of Boston instituted a real, significant crackdown on illegal parties — to the point where there has been a special party patrol, and students get brought into court and also face discipline from the school.
And people trying to talk to the students in the past have been harassed and threatened. I guess I understand why the writer tried to do it by a letter. Still….
Is it more passive aggressive to warn the students (although please, take the time to write a better note!) or to just wait til the first offense, and wham them with the BC and Boston cops, school officials, and court?
Sep 29, 2010 at 7:55 am rating: 19
#41
Clumber
I’m nearly speechless at the assholedness of the sender of the letter. Holding new residents responsible for previous tenant behavior, really? My reaction would be along the lines of “You think they were bad, get a load of us! You’ll have to buy a Sharpie® for the next tenants’ welcome letter!”
Sep 29, 2010 at 8:19 am rating: 9
#42
Green
Find a nicer piece of paper to write on before you accuse your new neighbor of things they haven’t done yet.
Sep 29, 2010 at 9:26 am rating: 8
#43 10PM to Almost All Night | Happy Valley News Hour
[...] Posted on September 29, 2010 by Kamper| Leave a comment Passive Aggressive Notes has a hilarious welcome letter for some Boston College students moving into their new house. It’s probably a sign of my age [...]
Sep 29, 2010 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#44
Brigs
Nice Name drop… I wonder if good ole Billy Mills strikes fear in the hearts of BC Undergrads everywhere.
Sep 29, 2010 at 11:43 am rating: 3
#45
TheSnarkShark
Bostonian here –
Team Note Writer. I lived in Allston/Brighton , near BU. After nicely asking for the parties to break up at 2 or 3 in the morning a few times, and for people not to park in other people’s assigned spots, and being ignored or sworn at, I just called the police every single weekend, and made sure I was good and loud getting ready for work at 7AM on Saturdays.
Hung over? Too damn bad.
Nice only gets you so far, especially if it’s a problem house and you’ve gone through all the correct channels to no avail. Rent in the Hub is too obscenely expensive to deal with inconsiderate people.
Sep 29, 2010 at 12:30 pm rating: 10
#46
pinecone
Funny, in my apartment complex it’s just the opposite. The college kids are usually asleep before midnight (on weekdays at least) because of early classes, but its the old farts downstairs who “talk loudly on their porch” that just so happens to be under my bedroom window until 2 am, disturbing MY sleep.
Sep 29, 2010 at 12:34 pm rating: 3
#47
KenriH
I don’t understand why the letter writer is so damn uptight. They practically have an in to every college party. Get drunk, go wild and party like you’re 18 again.
Sep 29, 2010 at 1:40 pm rating: 1
#48
Woman on the Verge
Okay, I’m not even a college student and my attention wandered right after “Welcome to our Neighborhood”. If it’s longer than 140 characters those kids aren’t even going to try.
Sep 29, 2010 at 3:31 pm rating: 2
#49
Zsa
Anyone else notice the highlighting seems a bit aged and the date of “SepT2nd 2010″ seems added as an afterthought? I bet that she has sent this letter every time new renters move in.
It hasn’t worked “just right” yet so she keeps adding bits to make it better:
Underlining – nope, they ignored me.
Subject line on top (cause these kids, they know email) – not quite, they wadded it up and left it on my doorstep.
Highlighting – not quite, they wadded it up and left it on my doorstep.
I KNOW! This time I’ll put the date on it. THAT will let them know I mean business!
Ijit. knock on the door, say hello and have a bit of interaction with them before you burn them for someone else’s sins.
Sep 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm rating: 6
#50
TheKim
Am glad someone finally cleared up where BC College is located.
It was the over-40 neighbors who caused all the noise in my last home. Someone had built a stage in their backyard and all I heard was half-hearted drunkenly-played hits from the 70s being jammed from 11-3 a.m. on weekends. I never want to hear “a horse with no name” again.
Sep 29, 2010 at 6:13 pm rating: 3
#51
chrys
Dear Neighbor,
In regards to possible loud sex 5 seconds from my backyard- I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOUR “MOANING AND SCREAMING” CALM DOWN OR LEARN TO STUFF A PILLOW IN YOUR MOUTH!!! I DON’T APPRECIATE BEING WOKE UP FROM MY AFTERNOON NAP IN MY YARD BY YOUR BANGING HEADBOARD AND SCREAMS! I see your daughter coming over on Sundays and I WILL NOT HESITATE TO TELL HER WHAT A NASTY SLUT HER MOTHER IS!
Sep 29, 2010 at 8:13 pm rating: 5
#52
Anna
Er, does it bother anyone else that “BC College” is redundant?
Sep 29, 2010 at 9:53 pm rating: 1
#53
FeRD
I think Danny and his roommates should don their flaming-est finery (doesn’t matter if they’re not gay, in fact it’s funnier that way), and go over to the neighbor’s house. Explain that they received the wonderful note, and understood from it that neighbor was interested in joining ACT UP! and making some calls. (Play completely dumb; remain immune to any and all attempts to explain that the note had nothing to do with ACT UP! You can take cues on how to do this effectively by watching the masters of impenetrable misconception — your Palins, your Becks, etc.)
Come armed with plenty of literature: pamphlets, posters, video of past demonstrations… at least an hour’s worth of material you’d like to walk him/her through, step by excruciating step. Repeatedly detour into warm, effusive expressions of your admiration for neighbor’s willingness to join the cause and get involved in such important work. If (in)appropriate, flirt with them aggressively the whole time.
Sep 29, 2010 at 10:44 pm rating: 3
#54
pylgrim
Nothing screams “passive-aggressive” as loud and clear as going as batshit crazy on the new, perhaps innocent neighbours as you didn’t have the backbone to be with the actual rowdy ones.
Sep 30, 2010 at 12:31 am rating: 6
#55
People are funny
I think this calls for Karaoke at Danny’s!!!!
Sep 30, 2010 at 7:33 am rating: 3
#56
g
i agree with the letter writer
/get off my lawn
Sep 30, 2010 at 8:57 am rating: 2
#57
wicked opinion
You know what I LOVE? Being yelled at on notebook paper BEFORE I EVEN DID ANYTHING!!!! Damn, lady! Already with the threats and you haven’t even met these people. How do you know they aren’t ponytailed Magic players with flabby stomachs who work at Walgreens part time? Or quiet, scary environmentalists with leg hair who will recycle their own poo? Or maybe (if you were lucky) dumb but hunky guys with nice pecs who like to walk around shirtless in low slung jeans – in January? You didn’t consider that, didja huh, Judgy McJudgerson? Some people….
Sep 30, 2010 at 10:43 am rating: 6
#58
Vivi
Blimey, who wrote this? Davros?!
Also, if you can hear your neighbours *talking* in their back yard, you shouldn’t have skimped on the double-glazed windows.
(Don’t wanna see your heating bill, mate.)
Sep 30, 2010 at 10:55 pm rating: 2
#59
Helen
Okay, I would have:
a) Brought cookies and welcomed them to the neighborhood.
b) Asked them to keep it down next time after something actually happened.
c) If they don’t, I’d plan with the children and elderly to wake them up around 6 the next day at hourly intervals so that they’d really feel their hangovers. (Wooden spoons on soup pots will do nicely.)
d) That evening, I’d stop by and ask them AGAIN to keep the noise level of late night parties down.
Sep 30, 2010 at 11:10 pm rating: 3
#60
sunnyiscloudy
Oh lovely. I actually live around BC and anyone of the elderly/family/child persuasion really should know better than to live there. The whole Allston-Brighton area of Boston is one giant college campus and it’s been that way for decades, so it’s not as if they were caught off guard.
Oct 1, 2010 at 11:50 am rating: 2
#61
Sue
I have to say, if I had received this note I would have brought it (and the envelope it came in) down to my local police station to file harassment charges against the neighbor. Turn-about is fair play.
Oct 2, 2010 at 7:04 pm rating: 1
#62
LG
This is a salutory lesson showing what happens to your brain after months (if not years) of sleep deprivation.
Should I have capitalised & underlined any of that?
Oct 8, 2010 at 9:14 am rating: 0
#63
Dainty
Oh god I wish this person was my neighbour just so I could piss them off with all the parties I’d throw in their honour
I would hang banners saying ‘THIS ONE’S FOR YOU CHEERFUL’
Oct 18, 2010 at 1:32 pm rating: 0
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