What’s harder than changing the toilet paper roll?

September 30th, 2010 · 70 comments

Well…lots of stuff.

You! Yeah you! Listen, you know what’s really difficult? Lots of stuff. For example:  • Running a marathon • Faking your own death • Trekking across the arctic tundra • Wrestling grizzly bears • Living to be 118 years old • Building a rocket ship • Flying a rocket ship • Breaking out of jail • Swallowing 10 light bulbs • Sharpening 3 pencils simultaneously  Most people wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t accomplish these tasks. They’re hard.  You know what’s not very difficult?  • Replacing the toilet paper roll  All you gotta do is look in that cupboard to your right. There’s a whole bunch of new rolls in there. If not, there’s more in the storage room by the kitchen.  If you’re having trouble with the dispenser, fear not. It’s actually a pretty simple feat to master. All you have to do is grip onto the cylinder and pull on it in a direction parallel to the wall. You’ll notice that due to the spring mechanism inside the cylinder, there is now a space in which the cylinder can be removed, thereby freeing it from the wall-mounted assembly. Now simply slide a new roll of toilet paper onto the cylinder and reverse the cylinder-removal process so that it is securely fastened to the wall assembly. The new roll should be able to spin freely on the cylinder, ready for the next person to use.

And yet, somehow, the employees at this office in Edmonton still can’t quite make TP happen. (Maybe wrestling grizzlies is more their forte?)

You! Yeah you! Listen, you know what’s really difficult? Lots of stuff. For example:  • Running a marathon • Faking your own death • Trekking across the arctic tundra • Wrestling grizzly bears • Living to be 118 years old • Building a rocket ship • Flying a rocket ship • Breaking out of jail • Swallowing 10 light bulbs • Sharpening 3 pencils simultaneously  Most people wouldn’t blame you if you couldn’t accomplish these tasks. They’re hard.  You know what’s not very difficult?  • Replacing the toilet paper roll  All you gotta do is look in that cupboard to your right. There’s a whole bunch of new rolls in there. If not, there’s more in the storage room by the kitchen.  If you’re having trouble with the dispenser, fear not. It’s actually a pretty simple feat to master. All you have to do is grip onto the cylinder and pull on it in a direction parallel to the wall. You’ll notice that due to the spring mechanism inside the cylinder, there is now a space in which the cylinder can be removed, thereby freeing it from the wall-mounted assembly. Now simply slide a new roll of toilet paper onto the cylinder and reverse the cylinder-removal process so that it is securely fastened to the wall assembly. The new roll should be able to spin freely on the cylinder, ready for the next person to use.

Perhaps a visual aid (like this one from a Los Angeles apartment share) would be helpful?

Changing the toilet paper roll: a visual guide

Or maybe just a bit more encouragement would push someone over the edge?

Very good! Every day, you get me a little closer to where I belong. Love, T.P.

(Probably not, though.)

related: Five approaches to TP maintenance

FILED UNDER: bathroom · Edmonton · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · signed with love · toilet paper · visual aids


70 responses so far ↓

  • #1   pony girl

    I don’t know. After witnessing truly horrific public bathrooms with vomit and feces all over the place and no toilet paper nor paper towels to be had, I’m just happy when there is clean, dry toilet paper available and I can use the toilet without getting someone else’s bodily fluids on me.

    ps – Please feel free to correct the grammar, syntax etc. in the above sentence. I live to learn.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   infant tyrone bang

      PG, I do know the only thing more commendable than your refreshing, sensible pragmatism is your impeccable composition technique. :-)

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:58 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   ju-lez bang

    i couldn’t even read the second and third notes. all i can think of is my sudden, incredible urge to sharpen three pencils at once.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 72  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   TheOldSchool

      What’s harder than changing a toilet paper roll?

      Me, after looking at the vaguely pornographic visual aids that comprise the third note.

      Diagrams 5 and 6 were particularly stimulating.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   Canthz_B bang

      TOS, I’m afraid you’ve been doing a bit more than squeezing the Charmin! :lol:

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   infant tyrone bang

      TOS, don’t you think those “visual aids” are reminiscent of some of the fantastic surgical implements in Cronenberg’s Dead Ringers ?
      Maybe H.R. Giger did some uncredited prop design on that film.

      No idea why, but diagrams 5 and 6 triggered memories of this from SNL :
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C570byQCLpI

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   G

      If only they didn’t make the inside of toilet rolls out of recycled (coarse) cardboard…

      Those of you who are disapproving have never hollowed out a cucumber.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 7:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Floom

      “Manager special’s” Pot Roasts are a real treat!

      Oct 1, 2010 at 8:16 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.6   Savannah

      It’s really not that hard to sharpen 3 pencils at once. I’m doing it right now. I’m going to use them to draw up the plans for my rocket ship, which I will use to fake my own death.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 8:39 am   rating: 27  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.7   bored@work

      Savannah, make sure to keep one of those pencils very sharp. It may come in handy if you find yourself wrestling a grizzly bear.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 8:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.8   Savannah

      Yes, sharpened pencils did come in handy when I ran into a grizzly while running a marathon across the arctic tundra. But that was really the only way I could escape from that jail cell.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 12:59 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.9   pony girl

      See Diagram 4 – Who uses a wrench to throw an old toilet paper roll away? That could be why few people are going to the trouble. Not everyone wears a tool belt to the toilet.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:15 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.10   Mo®

      That is no wrench Pony, that is my toilet paper changing robot helper.
      I got him free when I opened an account on SkyNet.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:21 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.11   Savannah

      Yes, plus it looks like the toilet paper bursts into flames when you’re finished. That’s pretty terrifying.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:47 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.12   pony girl

      @Mo,
      Um, what else can that robot helper do?

      Oct 1, 2010 at 4:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Seitan

    There are many directions which are ‘parallel to the wall’ which would not work. This may just be a case of faulty directions…”compressing the cylinder along the axis of rotation” would resolve your imprecise instructional problem.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   FeRD bang

      I thought we defeated the Axis of Rotation. Wasn’t that what World War II was all about?

      Sep 30, 2010 at 8:27 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Mo®

      Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   clumber

      Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
      Sir Winston Churchill, Speech in November 1942

      Oct 3, 2010 at 5:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   anglophile bang

    To tell you the truth, I’m kind of happy to have something to do like changing the roll. Which works out rather well, since my SO’s engineering degree apparently didn’t cover the mechanics of tp changing.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:23 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   FeRD bang

      Having gone to a school full of them, I can tell you that Engineers (and proto-Engineers) are the most useless people on the planet, when it comes to doing “handy” (or even “moronically simple”) things around the house. ;)

      Fraternity house full of (proto-)Engineers, and who has two thumbs and ends up fixing the washing machine when it breaks down? This guy! (…My major was CompSci.)

      Sep 30, 2010 at 8:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   WMDKitty

      Empty TP roll? Whether it’s my bathroom or not, I’m not leaving until I’ve put a new roll on the dispenser, as it’s a pet peeve of mine.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 3:18 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   The Elf

      Me too, Glo. Changing the TP roll takes my mind off the fact that I’m pooping. It’s productive, too.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 6:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Quite Contrary

    Note 1 gets an A+ for layout, font use, bullet points all mixed with the absolute perfect amount of snark.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:35 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Kel

      And bonus points for NOT using Comic Sans!!!

      Sep 30, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   AuntyBron

      And he used lots of big words. Let’s face it – if you need detailed instructions to change the TP, you’re probably not going to understand all them 10-cent words he tossed in. Double Bonus

      Oct 1, 2010 at 12:30 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   The Elf

      As much as I love this note – and I really do – I also have to wonder how long it took to think up, type, format, print, and post. Why not just change the roll? It’s easier.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 6:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   Rock Ripsnort

      Changing it once? Definitely easier. Being the ONLY person on site who changes the roll? Different matter.

      Oct 3, 2010 at 9:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   M L

    These notes? Are amazing. All of them.

    They represent, like, the entire continuum between “direct and brilliant” and “intensely passive aggressive, but also brilliant.”

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:36 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #7   T.

    This is too funny! I know a few people that could use that diagram ;) lol

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:48 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Kay

    I swallowed 9 lightbulbs once. Yeah, I know what they’re saying. Ten would be hard.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 8:55 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   eslinger bang

      Were those lightbulbs fucking delicious?

      (waits for it…)

      Oct 1, 2010 at 3:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Ndawg

      Well done, eslinger.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 10:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   park rose bang

      eslinger, they would have been, except for the funny taste left behind by the currents.

      Oct 2, 2010 at 4:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   b'ar trapper

    shouldn’t that be “rasslin’?”

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    Los Angeles is now in an Orange Level terror alert due to new rolls of toilet paper happily blowing themselves up.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    Yes, we are all thankful that steps 7, 8 & 9 were not included in the “How to use toilet paper” diagram.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   bored@work

      I don’t know. Some of the people I work with might benefit from steps 7,8, and 9. Actually, they could use steps 15 and 16 about how to wash their hands when they are done as well. (Based on some comments above, it is only fair to admit I work with engineers.)

      Oct 1, 2010 at 8:57 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   ashmeadow

    I feel like Sue Sylvester much nicer sister wrote the first note.

    “You think this is hard? I’m passing a gallstone as we speak. That’s hard!”

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:36 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   WMDKitty

      It’s also highly painful. Take it from someone who’s been there, gallstones HURT.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 3:19 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Sesquipedalian

    I absolutely love the second note. The personified paper rolls, the “light of glory” radiating from step six, the insertion of step four on the side after the author/artist realized that nothing should be left implicit for these morons—it’s perfect! The artist has created something so masterfully PA that the reader doesn’t even realize it’s PA until long after. I stand in awe of this anonymous genius.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:40 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Neeners

      The cartoon effect of the roll looking ‘distressed’ until it gets refilled (smiley face) is great.

      I felt closer to the toilet paper roll and its plight.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 10:50 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   JetJackson

    I feel sorry for the fresh toilet roll in the second note. That truly is the smile of naive optimism. It obviously did not see the look on the face of the used roll before it went in the bin and has no idea of what is yet to come.

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:45 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   catburglar

      Damn JetJackson, now I’m in tears. That poor roll! So happy! ‘Scuse me while I grab some TP to wipe my eyes.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:53 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   oi

    The 4th step of the 3rd picture is some kind of illusion. How can you grab the tp roll with a spanner?

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:46 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Canthz_B bang

      Must have been a gut-wrenching experience.

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   JetJackson

    To note number one I would have to stir them up and leave a post it note…

    “You know what’s even less difficult than replacing the toilet roll… not giving a fuck!”

    Sep 30, 2010 at 9:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   bored@work

      Or you could terrify them.

      “You know what’s even less difficult than replacing the toilet roll… not using TP!”

      Oct 1, 2010 at 9:01 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   Neeners

      So your the guy who writes on the walls with his own feces!!!!

      Oct 1, 2010 at 10:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   lrs

    In exhibits 1 and 3, at least the person who used up the last roll appears to have gotten out a new one and put it in the stall, even if he/she didn’t actually put it on the dispenser. It could have been worse. . . .

    Sep 30, 2010 at 10:09 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      And, at least they put it over the roll both times! ;-)

      Sep 30, 2010 at 10:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Alex T. Valencic

    I owned a custodial business for a couple of years, and was always surprised how often our clients had empty rolls of toilet paper in the bathrooms. Even more surprising was when they would call me in the afternoon to complain that the roll was empty. We always left spare rolls near the toilets (often on the back) so that they could change them, since we only cleaned once a day (or sometimes every other day or even just once a week), and always in the evening.

    People just seem to be incapable of changing the rolls on their own!

    Sep 30, 2010 at 10:48 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Neeners

      How nice of them to think they are so privileged that they need to call the “person that does that sort of thing” to help them in their hour of need.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 10:56 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   GhostWriter bang

      Where I work, the custodial business has installed locked toilet paper containers that hold huge three-foot-wide rolls in each stall.

      The only effective way for me to change a roll is to bring in one of my own, feed the paper up past the rip teeth, and then use a power drill on the roll’s axle to rewind the whole mess up into the lockbox.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 11:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Janellionaire

    Even my 2 year old knows how to change a toilet paper roll, which actually takes care of this issue in my house, because she keeps stealing the cylinders off the holders.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 12:10 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   VerityBrown bang

    I got a different kind of roll holder for the bathroom the males in my house primarily use. It’s kind of like a long hook–you just slide the roll on and off over the end. It has improved toilet-paper-roll-changing compliance.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 1:11 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Kaely

      We have one too and it has actually made things worse in my house. Now the roll is never on the hook because my husband takes it off and leaves it somewhere else every time he uses it: on top of the tank, on the side of the tub, etc. So every single time I go in there I have to hunt for the tp. I hate that stupid hook.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #21   Nack

    Team Ordered List. That note rocks. PA or not! I’d frame that sucker!

    Oct 1, 2010 at 2:07 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   TippingCows

    That first note is classic. I am jealous that I did not write it.

    But the talking T.P. is hard to beat. I feel like it wants to break out into song.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 3:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Savannah

    I always replace the toilet paper roll. It’s not because I’m especially considerate. I just get bored sitting there with nothing else to do. I’m probably the only person in the world with ADD so bad that using the restroom gets boring.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 8:37 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Neeners

    Thank God, finally a comprehensive ‘how to’ on how to change the toilet paper roll and for those who can’t read a schematic diagram. If they are used in conjunction with one another this knowledge could be dangerous. This is long overdue!

    I also love that this person also knows how to spell trekking properly.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 10:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   berge bang

    I love all of these notes also. I’ll call em high-class passive aggressive. No highlighting. No bad grammar or misspellings.

    But ultimately, you have to admit, the drawings and notes aren’t gonna get the non-tp-changers to change.

    I am guilty of the “setting the roll on top of the holder” and no note, however incredible the drawing, will make me less lazy.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 11:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Dee

    I love the first note.

    My thoughts exactly, changing the TP roll is one of the easier things you will ever have to do in your life, people who leave it irritate me to no end.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 11:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   park rose bang

      Maybe their hands are crippled with arthritis, which is why I change the toilet paper. Just in case the person after me is weak and possibly elderly. I change it even when it doesn’t need changing, I’m that wholesome, which you can tell easily if you peer into the toilet bowl before I have flushed the water. Branny too.

      Oct 2, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   GhostWriter bang

    While the notes are mildly amusing, these are far from the most interesting bathroom stall pics available on the internet.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 11:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   The Elf

      Yes, but I don’t want to see *those* kinds of pictures.

      Oct 1, 2010 at 1:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   Jbomb

    Wow, I think the illustration is better than the letter.

    Oct 1, 2010 at 1:20 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   aaa bang

    You know what’s really difficult? Reading that note in tiny font when I’m trying to crap. Looking at that makes my eyeballs hurt. I can’t crap and have my eyeballs hurting at the same time. It just can’t be done.

    Oct 2, 2010 at 11:15 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   clumber

      aaa, I’d suggest hanging a magnifying glass near the toilet.. but I am afraid that would give both the wrong idea; and encourage behavior that simply should not be encouraged. Ever.

      Oct 3, 2010 at 5:12 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Naoyusimi

    I need to print this first one out and put it in the bathroom.
    Where’s the “Print Preview” button?
    Team-”You!”-writer.

    Oct 3, 2010 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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