Way to rub it in, mates.

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October 1st, 2010 · 53 comments

Kelcy from London snapped this photo while this year’s Glastonbury Festival. “And yes, it was amazing,” she says. “Poor Tom!”

UPDATE: Prue from Manchester reports spotting a similar — slightly more aggressive — message at Glastonbury, too. “The crossed out bits were the ‘just ex’ girlfriend’s phone number and name (so one could send her an abusive message on Facebook),” Prue says. “Lovely.”

FILED UNDER: apostrophe catastrophe · ex drama · text message · U.K.

53 responses so far ↓

#1 anglophile

While you’re at it, sign him up for some magazine subscriptions, order him a Chinese food delivery, and–why not–send him a call-girl. That would be hi-larious!

Oct 1, 2010 at 1:36 pm rating: 90

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- #1.1 Scribbles the Monkey
  
  I heard they don’t eat Chinese food in the UK. Over there it’s all fried kebab and eel pies.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 3:01 pm rating: 90
- #1.2 Mo®
  
  ♬ I can’t believe I am eating a kebab with the most beautiful girl with a kebab! ♪
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 3:04 pm rating: 90
- #1.3 Kate
  
  @Scribbles
  
  Seriously? Of course we eat Chinese food.
  What we eat the most of is curries.
  In fact the curry is actually now the national dish of the UK.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 9:35 am rating: 90
- #1.4 anglophile
  
  I’ve often heard British people say no one grasps ironic humor the way they do. I’m inclined to agree literally.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 10:56 am rating: 90
- #1.5 park rose
  
  “Glo, I think Kate might be a special case. Love ya’ Kate. You pop up every now and then. ♥
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 3:59 pm rating: 90
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#2 me

Whose 12 what???

Oct 1, 2010 at 1:44 pm rating: 90

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- #2.1 Suzi Sioux
  
  Inches.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 1:58 pm rating: 90
- #2.2 farcical aquatic ceremony
  
  I don’t know whose 12 it is, but 1 through 11 and 13 are definitely mine.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 2:45 pm rating: 90
- #2.3 Canthz_B
  
  Apostles. Our Tom has quite a following. Why, just last night he was seen walking on water…well, not actually water, he got kind of drunk and mistook the kitchen for the bathroom…
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 8:02 pm rating: 90
- #2.4 infant tyrone
  
  Tom, Tom the piper’s son…
  always left-footed when it came to plumbing.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 12:11 am rating: 90
- #2.5 park rose
  
  CB, then everyone said his story had holes in it, and later Jesus stigmatized him with the same kind of argument.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 10:42 am rating: 90
- #2.6 infant tyrone
  
  Stigmatization: n.
  After passage of the Revised Debtors’ Prisons Act of 2043, a process used for remediation of persons convicted of over-aggressive panhandling. Constitutionality subsequently upheld by the Supreme Court on the basis that although the process is cruel, owing to certain religious traditions, prevalent notably in the Philippines, it is not unusual.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 11:12 am rating: 90
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#3 Mo®

Tom just went over his text limit for the month. However, he really appreciated all the booby pictures he was sent.

Oct 1, 2010 at 2:00 pm rating: 90

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#4 cuffed

It’s okay Mo® – texts are free to receive in the UK. Poor Tom might suffer a severe case of jealousy, but there wouldn’t be any financial repercussions for him.

Oct 1, 2010 at 2:34 pm rating: 90

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- #4.1 Your Mother
  
  Assuming, of course, that the people who chose to send him things sent only texts and not, y’know, pizzas. Or something worse.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 3:44 pm rating: 90
- #4.2 Neeners
  
  Is that true? Then I am moving there.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 10:56 pm rating: 90
- #4.3 Neeners
  
  Doesn’t the saying go “with friends like those, who needs enemies”?
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 10:59 pm rating: 90
- #4.4 Kate
  
  So do you have to pay to receive text messages in the States?
  That’s madness. Yes here in the UK receiving texts is free, unless its those ones that have ‘saucy ladies’ on the other end.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 9:37 am rating: 90
- #4.5 anglophile
  
  Well, it depends on your plan. Here you can pay for unlimited texting or pay less for a limited amount of incoming and outgoing texts.
  
  I think we can safely say, however, that you do not receive any texts free. It all gets paid somehow, just like health care.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 10:05 am rating: 90
- #4.6 butt
  
  Yes, unfortunately you have to pay to receive texts in the US, but you can pay for unlimited texting as part of your plan. Verizon (my carrier) only lets you block I think 15 numbers, so if you had a situation like this… you’d just have to field the texts, and block 15 of them in case they sent multiples, unless you already pay for unlimited texting.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 1:45 pm rating: 90
- #4.7 Amanda
  
  Typical Republican-like denial post by anglophile. Here in the Us we looove to give to the rich!
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 2:18 pm rating: 90
- #4.8 Canthz_B
  
  Typical missing of the point by Amanda.
  
  Nothing is free…the costs are just buried somewhere else in what you pay for services.
  
  Somewhere they may pay more for “basic” services, and receive unlimited “free” texting whether they text a great deal or not. Those who don’t text much end up paying for a service they don’t use, while those who may text a lot have theirs subsidized by those who pay for but do not use the service…we call that Socialism, but it works out in the end.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 2:40 pm rating: 90
- #4.9 Canthz_B
  
  Comment pending because I used the “S-word”…no shit!!
  
  Typical missing of the point by Amanda.
  
  Nothing is free…the costs are just buried somewhere else in what you pay for services.
  
  Somewhere they may pay more for “basic” services, and receive unlimited “free” texting whether they text a great deal or not. Those who don’t text much end up paying for a service they don’t use, while those who may text a lot have theirs subsidized by those who pay for but do not use the service…but it works out in the end.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 2:42 pm rating: 90
- #4.10 park rose
  
  I would agree with you, Amanda, that glo would indeed deny that she likes Republicans, as an entity that is. Some of her best friends may be . . .
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 4:03 pm rating: 90
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#5 Mo®

” Hey Tom I just saw Snoop Dogg perform and Willie Nelson is coming up next on the Pyramid stage. Though I am so baked right now and Willie Nelson looks more like your Nan!”

Oct 1, 2010 at 3:02 pm rating: 90

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#6 Roman411

Must be Tom Robinson of BBC6 Music. Lammo was trampled.

Oct 1, 2010 at 3:42 pm rating: 90

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#7 park rose

Sucks when you’re floating in a tin can, and can’t make it to Glastonbury. Funnily enough, Alexander Graeme Bell used tin cans, didn’t he? Just suspend your disbelief there, and also imagine him frantically calling, “Can you hear me Major Tom? The circuit’s dead, there’s something wrong!” Though just what kind of circuit a piece of string has, I’ll let the quantum physicists, or who(m)ever explain. That is all.

Oct 1, 2010 at 3:53 pm rating: 90

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- #7.1 infant tyrone
  
  rose,
  Are you toying with our ball of yarn or did you wander accidently
  by the Chapel Perilous of contemporary String Theory ?
  
  Vonnegut may have been prescient in his title choice of Cat’s Cradle.
  Or as the wormhole denizens say, “Coulda just been a fluke.”
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 8:26 pm rating: 90
- #7.2 Canthz_B
  
  First time we’ve touched on String Theory here…you’re going to make us use our Branes!!
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 8:30 pm rating: 90
- #7.3 infant tyrone
  
  You’re kicking us up into (a) (w)hole new dimension(s), CB.
  
  You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the signpost up ahead —
  your next stop, the Twilight Zone.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 9:16 pm rating: 90
- #7.4 Canthz_B
  
  It’s about Time!
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 9:34 pm rating: 90
- #7.5 infant tyrone
  
  Like The Chambers Brothers or like Morris Day’s band ?
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 12:22 am rating: 90
- #7.6 Canthz_B
  
  Whichever delivers the biggest bang for the buck.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 12:46 am rating: 90
- #7.7 infant tyrone
  
  Well, now I’m betwixt and between, over a barrel, you might say.
  They’re both high caliber entertainment, but since the Chambers Bros. have been (a)round long enough to remember 8-track cartridges,
  let’s give them a shot…
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 10:59 am rating: 90
- #7.8 Canthz_B
  
  Are you saying Morris Day was a flash in the pan?
  
  I don’t want to argue about it, but I’m keeping my powder dry just the same.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 2:12 pm rating: 90
- #7.9 infant tyrone
  
  Well, maybe he was a big deal somewheres, like maybe Flint~~lock~~, Michigan, but I suspect he’d steel be nowhere near nationwide
  had Prince not let him ride on the Purple Rain ~~arque~~bus.
  
  Dry powder is a good idea…the mind reels and congeals at the prospect
  of some of it coming into contact with moist nasal membranes.
  
  Oct 3, 2010 at 4:14 pm rating: 90
- #7.10 infant tyrone
  
  Well, from Rod Serling’s Zone to Morris Day and/or the Chambers Brothers, maybe we can settle on this gem.
  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWHuZa1DxrM
  
  P.S. All you William Gibson and X-Files fans should remember it
  from the Kill Switch episode. Happy memories…”Bite me”
  
  Oct 3, 2010 at 7:35 pm rating: 90
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#8 Tiffanyt

Poor tom

Oct 1, 2010 at 4:42 pm rating: 90

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- #8.1 Mark
  
  I see you’ve very slightly changed your screen name, possibly to get around having been banned.
  
  Fuck you.
  
  Suck a bag of cocks, you spamming whore. Leave and never come back.
  
  Edit: looks like you edited your message to leave out the spam, for once. I will leave this message anyway. In future messages, if you’re willing to drop the spam with which you annoy everybody on this site, I will not harrass you again.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 4:50 pm rating: 90
- #8.2 Woman on the Verge
  
  Mark, I love you. That was, perhaps the most succinct and perfect insult ever.
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 5:01 pm rating: 90
- #8.3 TheOldSchool
  
  Mark! My goodness! What brought this on? Who is Tiffanyt?
  
  Oct 1, 2010 at 10:54 pm rating: 90
- #8.4 bowloftoast
  
  I think Walmart is having a sale on bags of cocks next week…nope, scratch that, I just checked the flyer and the sale is actually on bags of socks – my bad.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 2:49 am rating: 90
- #8.5 Canthz_B
  
  Scratch that!! ROTFLMAO!!!!!!
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 2:48 pm rating: 90
- #8.6 infant tyrone
  
  Isn’t there an “In Days of Old” rhyme about socks and cocks ?
  Of course there is, but I’m not gonna do the dirty work on it.
  
  Oct 3, 2010 at 4:25 pm rating: 90
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#9 Odious

I like the non-sequitur question in the middle (“whose 12?”). I’m guessing it’s Tom’s son or daughter that’s 12 tears old. Would a festival goer, otherwise, have 12 year-old mates? Or are they asking whose twelver is sitting there, just out of the frame?

BTW – How does a bag of cocks come into existence?

Oct 2, 2010 at 12:01 am rating: 90

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- #9.1 jadefirefly
  
  The bag of cocks is what you pour a bowl of dicks from.
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 4:18 am rating: 90
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#10 Canthz_B

I don’t know what makes Tom so special.
When I was 12 it took me 5 years to make 17!!

Oct 2, 2010 at 12:56 am rating: 90

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- #10.1 TheOldSchool
  
  How many did you make, CB?
  
  Oct 2, 2010 at 1:37 am rating: 90
- #10.2 infant tyrone
  
  Yeah, CB, dish it up.
  Pretty sure the statutory of limitations has expired on that score by now.
  
  Oct 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm rating: 90
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#11 aaa

Yes, please send our twelve-year-old bud Tom pictures of your penis/vagina and call him at all hours of the night to show him just how much fun you’re having. I’m sure his parents would really appreciate that.

Oct 2, 2010 at 11:32 am rating: 90

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#12 Clive dunn

What Tom’s freinds failed to mention was that he was dying of cancer. His last days were punctuated by texts of grubby arses and badly lit ballbags.

Oct 2, 2010 at 5:00 pm rating: 90

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- #12.1 The Elf
  
  Make-A-Wish foundation doesn’t discriminate. If your last wish is for texts of random body parts of strangers, they will deliver.
  
  Oct 4, 2010 at 7:37 am rating: 90
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