Toto, I have a feeling we’re not at band camp anymore

October 20th, 2010 · 126 comments

Michael is a music teacher in New York, and one of his students, Aleks, a clarinet player with 15 years experience, recently moved to the city to start his master’s degree. “Coming from Ohio, he had no idea what he was getting into when practicing clarinet in his apartment in Queens,” says Michael. “Now he knows.”

Dear Friend, Take take the flute and shove it up your ass. You have NO talent. Give your neighbors a break. if not we are going to break your hand's [sic]

related: Buskers & broomsticks

FILED UNDER: apostrophe catastrophe · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · most popular notes of 2010 · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Queens


126 responses so far ↓

  • #1   strudel

    Now I would expect this if he was an oboe major. I think a clarinet up the bum would be quite enticing for some. Not intimidated.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:18 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Carly

    That note is pretty mean, but… honestly, you’ve got to know that you can’t practice instruments for hours a day (which this guy probably does) in an apartment building. You ARE going to piss people off, and for good reason. Get a place where you can make some noise, or find a practice studio elsewhere.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:19 pm   rating: 54  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Ten

      If my neighbors can spend hours having noisy sex or listening to rap music, I should be able to spend hours practicing my clarinet.

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:29 pm   rating: 127  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   clumber

      should and can be done without pissing off those nearby are entirely different aspects of the real world though.

      I suggest that Michael obtain a recording from any Mommyblog of their genius sweetum’s first attempts at a violin recital, put that on a LOUD constant loop, and then go out on the town. Leave a note on your door, “Due to concerns about my talent level after elebenty years of commitment to my previous instrument, I have switched to a bran-new one. You’re welcome!”

      Oct 21, 2010 at 7:54 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Woman on the Verge bang

      Ten, is “practicing my clarinet” a euphemism?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:55 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   Me Fu

      No, but “playing the pink oboe” is.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 3:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.5   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      I practice various instruments (violin, drums, guitar, you name it, harmonica, bass, keyboard, no I’m not very good before you ask) all day long.

      The trick for me is that my neighbour wants to stay low key, so he never complains.

      I think it’s because he’s some kind of criminal. He looks like a sex criminal.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Natalie

    I’m looking for the “passive” in this note and not finding it. That’s a whole lot of aggressive, though.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:21 pm   rating: 51  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   se bang

      well, the note writer did call him “friend”

      Oct 20, 2010 at 8:30 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   farcical aquatic ceremony

      ugh, and a clarinet’s involved. Is there any instrument less committed to being entertaining, interesting, or moving…

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:45 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   jadefirefly

      Awwww, geez. I grew up playing the clarinet! It’s not THAT bad!

      It’s the geeky brunette of the band world. It’s not exactly enthralling, but it serves a purpose – namely, letting the popular instruments copy it’s homework.

      Oct 20, 2010 at 10:04 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   clumber

      3.2 – the triangle?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 7:55 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   Mo®

      It is Woody Allen’s favourite instrument.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 1:09 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Scribbles the Monkey bang

      I was about to say what Mo said, or something like it.

      Check out the album “Wild Man Blues”, which features Woody’s clarinet among a New Orleans jazz quintet and come back and try to tell me that didn’t make your mama panties drop!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 7:49 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Noelegy

      Brave Combo. Benny Goodman. That is all.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 4:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Lhyzz

      Aggressive would be saying this to his face, not writing it in an anonymous note and taping it to his door.

      Oct 24, 2010 at 12:47 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   noddy

    There’s a sax player in my neighbourhood, who practices in the park. Might be an idea for this poor guy…

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:26 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Go Phillies!

    Break his hand’s what?

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:29 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Clarabo

      Yeah, I was with him right up until he used the apostrophe to indicate a plural. You lose all right to be passive aggressive, smug or smart mouthed if you don’t check your grammar, punctuation or spelling. I checked this four times! lol

      Oct 21, 2010 at 6:03 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   TippingCows

      I, too, am waiting to know what the neighbors will actually break. Perhaps the hand’s fingers? Or the hand’s spirit? Tune in, loyal PA readers …

      Oct 21, 2010 at 4:56 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   bearcat

      and then you went ahead and ended it with a “lol”.

      also, you lose all “rights” and I’d suggest the Oxford comma.

      Oct 28, 2010 at 9:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Flaboy2425

    The note writer is obviously a musical illiterate. There is no similarity between the sound of a flute and a clarinet. Perhaps he/she should leave the apartment occasionally and be exposed to some culture.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:30 pm   rating: 67  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Maas

      Maybe the clarinet player IS playing a flute in the apartment, and that’s why it isn’t good.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 3:28 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   bonz

    I don’t know …the guy pays rent he can do wtf he want in his space right? …..Personally I would play louder. His ‘friendly” neighbor should just say “Look dude ….I’m home during these hrs …. can ya make practice @ a minimum during this time?”
    Or something like that….

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   hummer

      “He can do wtf he wants in his space right?”

      Have you ever lived in an apartment, buddy? You either have, or you’re a horrible neighbor.

      It’s called common courtesy. Think of it this way – would you like to have a rowdy neighbor having sex 10 out of the 24 hours of the day? When you’re trying to sleep, trying to eat, trying to read, trying to watch tv, trying to have friends or family over…. Are you really ok with that?

      Oct 20, 2010 at 8:57 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   bonz

      It’s Lady …..n the clarinet really isn’t that loud …I have in fact lived in several apartments n dealt with all kind of crap ….this seems very small in comparison to a drum set… and there are easier ways to settle things other than “We are going to break your hands” Seriously?
      AND …..if someone WAS having sex for ten hrs I’d be happy for the son of bitch!
      Chill out ….oh wait! I bet you wrote this note, eh?

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:18 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   the Librarian

      Dude, lay off the fucking ellipses already. There are other perfectly acceptable forms of punctuation, you know, many of them more appropriate to the sentiments you are expressing.

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:21 pm   rating: 49  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   bonz

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:23 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.5   bonz

      I happen to like them…

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:26 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.6   Madrias

      From someone stuck in the middle of a 3 level apartment, I’ll tell you this one, Bonz.

      If you did that, I’d sit there calling the cops on you for disturbing the peace.

      I have to put up with rowdy drunks upstairs who break a bunch of shit, smash beer bottles in the lawn, and have no clue how to live other than ‘party party party’. Then downstairs, I’ve got teenagers who are up at the crack of dawn playing ‘gangsta rap’ under my window, and staying up till 3 in the morning banging their girlfriend who doesn’t know how to shut up.

      I’ve gotten passive aggressive on the ones downstairs, by making sure that while they’re sleeping, I’m watching a movie. The ones upstairs, it’s mowing over their beer bottles at 7:15 AM on sunday when they’ve got hangovers.

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:34 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.7   jadefirefly

      Here’s a simple explanation for ya, bonz. You DO, in fact, pay rent for the space in which you live.

      You do not, however, pay rent for the space in which your neighbors live. So unless you can keep the sounds of your instrument, party, raunchy sex, or talk-radio from entering their apartment, you are being a shitty neighbor.

      On top of that, your flagrant disregard for grammar and punctuation makes you a shitty poster. “I like them” is not an excuse.

      2 strikes, girlfriend. What’s next?

      Oct 20, 2010 at 10:07 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.8   Canthz_B bang

      Bonz, just because the guy pays rent, does not mean he can do what he wants in his space.
      There’s usually a little thing called a lease (or at the very least a rental agreement) wherein the terms of good tenancy are spelled out.
      One term which is always there is the one which deals with excessive noise which affects the spaces others are renting…be it sex, music, arguments or what have you.

      Now kindly pack your shit and leave my complex, it was quiet here before you moved in!!

      Oct 20, 2010 at 11:15 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.9   bonz

      Did any of you guys actually read what I wrote?? The point being there is a better way of handling the situation…. I am WELL aware of bothersome neighbors and try very hard not to be one myself… Thanks for the lessons tho…. duh

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.10   bonz

      OH! …jadefirefly -I don’t really give a fuck what you think of my posts -Thanks for your shitty opinion tho…

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.11   Canthz_B bang

      No. The point is that the musician needs to realize that there’s someone home in one or more of the apartments ALL OF THE TIME…so asking him to not play only when the note writer is home would NOT solve the problem, the problem being playing the instrument in the apartment, not the timing.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:52 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.12   jadefirefly

      Bonz — Taking the time to reply, just to say you don’t care?

      I never knew you cared so much! I love you too, sweetums.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:58 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.13   bonz

      Chanthz B ….I really thought you were a chick. What does that little exclamation point after you name mean?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 3:55 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.14   Canthz_B bang

      It means the same thing it does after other posters’ names. *bock-bock* ;-)

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:07 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.15   bonz

      So you spend way to much time on this site?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.16   anglophile bang

      If you could figure out how to get the exclamation mark, you could also go back in time and fix those embarrassing typos, bonz.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:09 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.17   bonz

      If I cared enough I just might… and if I cared about the typ0s they wouldn’t be there… But I don’t….
      I see the grammar SWAT team DOES care tho …OOooooo I’m in trouble now!
      What a fucking waste….

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.18   Canthz_B bang

      Interestingly enough, all posts have timestamps on them. You could probably figure out when I’m here and when not if you looked at them…and did a little deductive reasoning.

      I wouldn’t want you to tax your abbreviation-laden brain though.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.19   bonz

      WOW… HA!
      Perhaps if I were a stalker I might just do that ….The fact that you think I would waste my time is laughable.
      How many abbreviations have I used? None dear Canthz …nice try on the insult -try it on someone who gives a shit what the fuck you think *bock bock* ;)

      Oct 21, 2010 at 10:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.20   Canthz_B bang

      Do just what? Stalk?
      Evidently, you enjoy wasting your time here. I never really thought you’d spend much time doing the actual work required to figure something out, even it was your question. You don’t seem like the industrious type to me.
      “n” is not a word, and I’m pretty sure “hrs” is an abbreviated form of “hours” unless you meant something else. “@” instead of “at” is just plain lazy. You couldn’t spare a keystroke for a darned ‘t’? You found the ‘SHIFT’ key just fine, was the ‘T’ key too hard?
      “Tho” was most popularly used in the 19th and early 20th centuries, but never really took off as a new form of “though” as spelling reformers of the day would have liked. Shame on your teachers if they let you kids get away with using “tho” in your book reports and other compositions these days, but mine would have whipped their red pen out on it in a second.
      You are a prime example of what happens when “texting” and “writing” are thought to be the same thing…they ain’t.

      And, quite frankly, I doubt you’d understand many of my thoughts, let alone give a fuck for them (though I don’t doubt that you regularly give fucks for much less). Considering that you couldn’t find the actual crux of the matter regarding noisy apartment dwellers, that is.

      Wow! All I really meant to say was, “Fuck you! Grow up!” :roll:

      Oct 21, 2010 at 11:17 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.21   anglophile

      (though I don’t doubt that you regularly give fucks for much less)

      I am so going to steal this one, CB!

      Oct 22, 2010 at 6:04 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.22   bonz

      Well you got me ….I DO abbreviate! HA! It must be all the texting, but at least you can understand my point.
      So does it make you happy to give people a hard time about abbreviating? THIS is what you get off on? That’s not so difficult to understand, you have no life so you pick out the petty details about someone’s grammar as if it’s the end all be all… How pitiful for you- Personally I have more important things to do with my time than sit here and edit my posts as to not get picked on.
      You can also believe I don’t understand the ‘crux’ of the apartment/ noise matter if you like, I certainly won’t lose any sleep over it.
      As far as the “Not very industrious” comment goes -you don’t know me …again it’s laughable. Your word isn’t law here or anywhere else. Don’t fool yourself…

      Oct 22, 2010 at 2:31 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.23   bonz

      Haaaa! I missed that one …..I’m a whore because I abbreviate …. WOW! What a BRILLIANT fucking deduction that is! HAHAAHA!!!
      What brought those two dots together for ya there buddy? You really are a moron!
      HAAHAAHAAAA!

      Oct 22, 2010 at 2:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.24   bonz

      Bye bye now….. Enjoy dotting your I’s and crossing your T’s …..
      One more thing …..
      No, no ,no …Fuck YOU ;)~

      Oct 22, 2010 at 2:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.25   eslinger

      I hate when I’m late to the party. All I get are the leftovers to read. :(

      Oct 23, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.26   FeRD bang

      Yeah, but that was _so_ AWESOME! CB hooked him and just started playing the line like he’s auditioning for a spot hosting “BassMasters”! (That’d probably sound cooler if I hadn’t grown up in NYC and been fishing exactly twice in my life. Imagine it like that.)

      The kid (I’m guessing — what, like 17, 19… maybe 20?) has clearly still got his Internet training wheels on. Which only gets really entertaining when it’s coupled with that crazy teenage conviction we all had, that people would start to take us seriously if we only just articulated earnestly enough how important and meaningful and worthy of respect our confused, misguided, self-important points really are!

      God, I remember being that twat. Such innocent times…

      Oct 24, 2010 at 11:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.27   Canthz_B bang

      I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl. :lol:

      Of course you’re not a whore, Bonz. I never called you a whore. I have way too much respect for whores to say such a thing.

      Oct 25, 2010 at 12:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Joe Blow

    He should of moved to Williamsburg where they appreciate the works of Mr. Youngman.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 8:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Mo®

      Should have moved to Greenpoint.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 1:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    I didn’t know they had such bad taste in music in Ohio.

    Team “should have known better”.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 9:01 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   shwonline bang

    Note: That is NOT why they call a clarinet a “licorice stick.”

    Oct 20, 2010 at 9:03 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Squidward

    Some people just can’t appreciate pure raw talent!

    Oct 20, 2010 at 9:08 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   goose

    I think there’s a hidden message in the underlined words…. “flute it up your ass”. Sounds like a proposition to me!

    Oct 20, 2010 at 9:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Harmy G

      Lady, lay off the fucking ellipses already.

      Oct 20, 2010 at 9:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   The Elf

      … … … …. What? ….. I like….. unneccessary pauses. Makes ….. me feel ….. like….. William Shatner…..

      Did I ever tell you you play a very irritating clarinet, Mr. Aleks?

      Peace or…UTTER DESTRUCTION…it’s up to you.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:16 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Z

      I don’t read posts that want me to pause several times. I just figure you are to stupid to know how to stop and think in your head without typing it out…..duh, I’m thinking.That’s what …..means. Hold on people! Let me catch my thought!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   goose

      Did a nasty ellispis bark at you when you were widdle, Harmy G? Never you mind, precious – it will be ok – we will all use hyphens instead.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 7:53 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   mamason bang

      It’s too stupid.

      Oct 23, 2010 at 7:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.6   FeRD bang

      Goose — em-brace* the em-dash — it is your salvation!

      * — (OK, I admit I’m not at all proud of that one.)

      Oct 24, 2010 at 11:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   JetJackson

    Aleks needs to find the brown note and really give his neighbor the shits.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 9:56 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   kmart

    a clarinet is not that loud, until you’ve been listening to it for 12 hours straight.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 10:08 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Nightfire bang

    What violent ‘friends’ the note recipient has.

    Can’t say I’d want to hear my neighbors playing musical instruments unless it was limited in duration and during the day.

    Living in an apartment myself, if I think I could hear what I’m doing in the living room from the bedroom, or outside hall, I don’t do it. The only time I’m ever really noisy is Friday, Saturday, and Sunday afternoons. Never before 10 am, and never after 8 pm. It’s just a matter of community courtesy.

    Oct 20, 2010 at 10:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Gunderson

    I think its high time for our friend to hook up his clarinet to an amp and crank it to 11 !

    Oct 20, 2010 at 11:46 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Divvitar

    This note just reinforces my hatred of all things NYC. The SOB should be glad I’m not his neighbor. I have a Carvin Ultra-V and a 300 Watt Amp. I’ve been known to play Thrash Metal riffs at concert volume when people piss me off about practicing too loud. Give me that Vinnie Barbarino accent, crap-laden attitude and I’ll introduce you to my fists and feet!

    Oct 21, 2010 at 12:16 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Divvitar

      It’s been a rough day. No offense, New Yorkers.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:37 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   lurker

      As a New Yorker, I disagree that this is how all of us act. There are plenty of rude people anywhere, and plenty of friendly people anywhere. Try not to make such generalizing comments, Divvitar. Rough day or not, you are being rude yourself. On that note, do you think the words “no offense” automatically reverse any offensive words you’ve written?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 5:34 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   Mark bang

      No offense, but of COURSE saying “no offense” makes everything peachy, you commie necrophiliac pederast!

      Bless your heart!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 10:18 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      I love you, Mark.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 11:13 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.5   Divvitar

      I’d comment, but I’m too busy casing the morgue for dead children at the moment, while catching up on my Trotsky and Lenin.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:05 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.6   Noelegy

      I just don’t think that many people were meant to live crammed so tightly together into such a relatively small area. It makes ‘em crazy.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 4:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.7   eslinger

      I would like to take the time to say that I, too, am in love with Mark.

      Oct 23, 2010 at 4:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Nahhh bang

    Could be worse. Could be a badly tuned violin.

    My daughter played the violin. *twitch*

    Oct 21, 2010 at 6:32 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   whipoorwill

    forget breaking his hands….i think they should stick with shoving the flute… makes for an interesting x-ray.: /

    Oct 21, 2010 at 7:46 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   matt

    It seems the fate of anyone living in an apartment is pretty much sealed (esp if they play a flute/clarinet):
    1: Eventual frontal lobotomy to live in peace with psychotic and violent neighbors and avoid going insane from their constant bitching and demands
    2: eventual suicide – with your instrument of choice stuck up your ass

    Oct 21, 2010 at 7:48 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Skroob

    Why is is that every white trash scum that comes into New York from Ohio???

    Oct 21, 2010 at 8:17 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Rattus

      How does a musician in the process of getting his master’s degree quality as “white trash scum”? Please enlighten me, I am truly curious.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   Canthz_B bang

      By practicing clarinet in his apartment in Queens, I suppose.

      Why? Does the clarinet reflect badly upon the good reputation of “white trash scum”?

      I’m not saying the guy is WTS, but he may have WTS tendencies! :lol:

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.3   farcical aquatic ceremony

      Why is it that everyone who doesn’t know how to write a complete sentence ends it with an excessive number of question marks?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:34 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.4   Mo®

      Little known fact that Benny Goodman lived once in a Colombus trailer park and enjoyed PBR.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 11:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.5   Clumber

      PBR the drink, or PBR the sport where grumpy pre-steaks throw young men to the dirt and trample them?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.6   The Elf

      Yes, Canthz B! Everyone knows that the preferred instrument of white trash scum is the air guitar. Standards, people!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:20 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.7   Mo®

      Yes Clumber. Yes. :grin:

      Oct 21, 2010 at 1:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Woman on the Verge bang

    In my first apartment, the smoke detector was literally 3 feet from the oven. Every time I cooked, it went off. One day my door was ajar and the neighbor from across the hall came running in, yanked it off the wall and threw the batteries at my pot of pasta.

    Oct 21, 2010 at 9:00 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, but your spaghetti was shockingly good that night!!

      (♫it’s electric, boogie-woogie-oogie!♫)

      Oct 21, 2010 at 9:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.2   Nightfire bang

      With all the apartment woes that I see, I’m beginning to think I got really lucky in that I never ever hear my neighbors except maybe once in a great while that their floor creaks, and save for the yummy smell of their cooking, you wouldn’t know they were there. The few times that I have passed someone in the hall, there was a nod of the head, maybe a quiet hello, and that was it.

      Honest people, too, I think. I was doing laundry really late one night and fell asleep with a load of towels in the drier. I didn’t remember they were there until I got home from work the next day. My towels were still there.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.3   Mo®

      Is ‘throwing batteries into your pasta’ a euphemism for something?

      Oct 21, 2010 at 11:16 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.4   Woman on the Verge bang

      It is now!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.5   The Elf

      So that’s how she went from being a woman to a woman on the verge! It all makes sense now. I bet your pasta was….. I’m gonna shut up now.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 12:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.6   Woman on the Verge bang

      Good idea, Elf.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 1:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.7   Mo®

      Awwwwwww Yeeeeeaaaaaah!

      *bow chicka wow wow*

      Oct 21, 2010 at 1:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.8   Smokey

      If the smoke detector went off each time you used the stove, why didn’t you take the batteries out of the smoke detector when the stove was in use? You were standing there using the stove, thus if it caught on fire you would have been well aware of the situation and you would not have needed the smoke detector to alert you to the situation. When you finished cooking, you could have put the batteries back in the smoke detector.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.9   Madrias

      I’d have set off an alarm clock at 4 in the morning and proceeded to leave it on all day. Resetting if needed. I’m the passive-aggressive neighbor of the bunch here.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 3:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #22.10   Danny

      How incompetent are you when hot water (which is pretty much all it takes to make a pot of pasta) makes your smoke alarm go off?

      /late to the party
      //still wants to know how to burn *water*

      Nov 13, 2010 at 9:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   Ar Adler

    If we listened to mean spirited people like this note writer, those of us who have made a life in music would have deprived ourselves of a lifetime of joy and fulfillment. Who cares if we have no talent or if we are annoying others with our pursuit? Will they make up for the joy we’ve deprived ourselves of if we listen to them? Keep the focus on yourself and keep on keeping on!

    Oct 21, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Arster

    If we listened to mean spirited people like this note writer, those of us who have made a life in music would have deprived ourselves of a lifetime of joy and fulfillment. Who cares if we have no talent or if we are annoying others with our pursuit? Will they make up for the joy we’ve deprived ourselves of if we listen to them? Keep the focus on yourself and keep on keeping on!

    Oct 21, 2010 at 9:38 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   Mark bang

      If we listened to mean spirited people like this note writer, those of us who have made a life in shooting legally registered assault rifles repeatedly but safely into sandbags would have deprived ourselves of a lifetime of joy and fulfillment. Who cares if we have no aim or if we are annoying others with our pursuit? Will they make up for the joy we’ve deprived ourselves of if we listen to them? Keep the focus on yourself and keep on shooting on!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 10:32 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.2   Rattus

      I’m married to a drummer, and while I love him dearly and appreciate his fondness for music, there is a time and a place for everything. Musicians do need to understand that while they may enjoy whatever noise it is they’re emitting, others in proximity may enjoy peace and quiet just as much.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 10:38 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.3   Nightfire bang

      Arster, I think that largely depends on how you choose to pursue playing that music. Living in an apartment, you have to be considerate of those who live around you. Do they work 3rd shift and sleep during the day? Do they have young children that nap? Do you play a reasonable amount of time, or are you playing for hours on end. Playing for maybe an hour in the afternoon is one thing, but if you’re playing several hours a day during dinner time, that might annoy people. Besides, you always have the option of finding somewhere to practice where you won’t annoy your neighbors.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 11:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.4   Canthz_B bang

      “Keep the focus on yourself and keep on keeping on!”

      Sounds like the definition of “Selfish” in the New Oxford Dictionary: Generation X Edition.

      (or is in GeNext now? I loose track of these things, being a Baby Boomer and all.)

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.5   The Elf

      Sounds more Gen X to me. We Gen Xers are an independent and cynical lot, probably because we realize the disaster you Baby Boomers are leaving us. I guess you could call that attitude selfish. The Gen Y (or Millenial or GeNext or Echo Boomers) are idealistic, socially responsible, and cooperatively-minded. I guess you could say that their spirit has yet to be crushed. Give them time.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 7:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #24.6   Canthz_B bang

      Hey, when you grow up under the threat of nuclear annihilation, you really don’t think your kids will be around to pay the bills (not going to go into the environmental disaster, because the Industrial Revolution so pre-dates the Baby Boomer generation, and no Gen Xer complained about the rape of the Earth while we bought them all of the consumer goods they cried for us to buy them. Now they’re all butt-hurt when the mantle begins to fall on their shoulders? BAH!)

      Forgive us our trespasses.

      My only point was that Baby Boomers where named for an actual phenomenon, the Baby Boom, and succeeding generations have felt the need to make names up for themselves ever since. That’s a bit odd, but it goes with feeling entitled to something…even if it is just a title.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 8:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #25   Savannah

    Judging by the underlining I think the secret message is “Flute it up your ass, no? Not break hand’s.” At that point the notewriter must’ve been cut off. Now, what does it MEAN?

    Oct 21, 2010 at 11:47 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   Shea

    As a musician living in NYC, it seems pretty common sense, regardless of where you’re from originally. You find a good, pre-war building with extremely thick walls (as I have- thank goodness) or you find a practice room. Either that, or you go digital and get a good set of headphones (yes, there are digital reed instruments that at least allow for some quiet practice times, though they’re not cheap).

    If the clarinetist is here getting his masters, I’d assume that he’s affiliated with a music program at a school. They ALL have practice rooms. It’s not like he’d have to pay money to rent one somewhere. As much as I hate to hear others invading my own sound space, I hate to be the one invading that of someone else.

    In any case, I think the note is funny as hell. I totally sympathize with the neighbor (and doubt he’d really break the guy’s “hand’s”, but you never know. Another reason to be a good neighbor).

    Oct 21, 2010 at 12:37 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #26.1   jadefirefly

      Actually, they’ve had little devices for years that basically just insert into the horn of the instrument. It muffles the sound from the outside, and allows the player to hear it just fine through headphones, while still using their own horn.

      It’s not totally silent on the outside, but it’s definitely enough of a difference that you’d figure professional-level apartment dwellers would probably have one already.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 1:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.2   Ndawg

      Amen. Team note-writer. Clarinet dude broken an unwritten (yet obvious) code of musicianship with his practicing. If you can’t deal with the practice rooms at your music school, move to a building with insanely thick walls. Or do what I did — move to the boring suburbs where you can go apeshit on your instrument in the privacy of your own basement. Suburban neighbors don’t break hands. They’re too busy dealing with the cat poo on the lawn and your car being in “their” spot on the street.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 2:34 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #26.3   Noelegy

      Suburbs: may be boring, but the chance of hearing gunshots is far less likely.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 5:02 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #27   Will

    In NYC, as long as you are not amplified, you are legally allowed to practice from 10 am to 10 pm. This goes for all condos in all boroughs.

    In a co-op your hours can be limited. Since it’s a music grad student in queens, i am betting he’s in a condo. So unless he’s practicing before 10 am or after 10 pm, he’s doing nothing illegal.

    Also, it’s nyc. you don’t move here for it to be quiet.

    Oct 21, 2010 at 3:45 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   Shea

      Being legal and being a courteous person are entirely different things. I’m really glad I’m not your neighbor.

      And I did move to my NYC apartment for it to be quiet (and it’s on one of the busiest corners in Manhattan). I’m so glad it is just that. I play at all hours, including the middle of the night, but there’s no way you’d know it. The same goes for the drummer and bass player who live next door.

      One of the things I love about this city is that, with everyone living on top of each other, most people are very much aware of it and are pretty considerate. Sadly, it only takes one rude apple to spoil it for everyone.

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:24 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.2   Canthz_B bang

      What Shea said!

      Oct 21, 2010 at 8:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #27.3   FeRD bang

      I want to hear more about Shea moving onto “one of the busiest corners in Manhattan”! (…At least, it is since Shea took up residence!) ;)

      Oct 24, 2010 at 11:40 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #28   aaa bang

    Pfft, everyone knows that clarinets are suck instruments. TRUMPETS PWN ALL. SUCK IT, ALEKS!

    Oct 21, 2010 at 6:10 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #29   Doug Stephens

    Will: Legal, schmegal.

    It’s legal for me to bite off my toenails in public, too, but who wants to watch that?

    Oct 21, 2010 at 7:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #29.1   notolaf

      Ooh! Ooh! Can you post it on YouTube?

      Oct 22, 2010 at 12:05 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #29.2   Dan

      I’d buy that DVD.

      Oct 28, 2010 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #30   Arster

    All I can say is after reading all these comments I’m kind of glad that the people who complain about others practicing their music are so annoyed. You guys are very nasty and mean spirited. And apparently you have nothing better to do than rag on your neighbors for playing an instrument. Living in New York, there are many more annoying things we have to listen to everyday. If you wanted quiet you should move to the country. Some of us earn our livings playing music and must play for considerably more than an hour a day. It’s not a hobby and it’s not negotiable.

    Oct 21, 2010 at 9:55 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #30.1   Nightfire bang

      Nobody is upset that people are practicing their music or playing an instrument. We simply are saying that there is a time, place, and way to do it so that you may be considerate to your neighbors who surely won’t appreciate listening to you practice.

      If you need to play for a few (3 or less) hours a day, then do it during the day when you won’t disturb neighbors that may be sleeping or eating supper with their family.

      Furthermore, just because people on the street are inconsiderate that people live there and appreciate quiet does not justify disturbing your neighbors just because you live in a city.

      To clarify, there are other places to play besides your apartment. You could play on the roof. You could play outside. You could play in a practice room, which would almost certainly be available to you were you going for a degree in music. Just because you’re too lazy to seek out these other options does not mean they are not available.

      Oct 22, 2010 at 11:19 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #31   Madrias

    Would Mr. Aleks’ first name be Smart, perhaps?

    Oct 22, 2010 at 10:18 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #32   eslinger

    I played the violin, flute, piccolo, and bassoon, and practiced all at home. But then, I lived in a house, where neighbors are on top of each other.

    And only a dumbass would mistake a clarinet for a flute. I mean, really? C’mon.

    I suggest the clarinetist find alternate practice space and cut down on practicing in his apartment so much. He could go on the roof of his apartment building, start writing really great music while working at a bar, and eventually LeAnn Rimes will be singing his song and dancing on the bar with him. And his dad, John Goodman, will be there too. It’ll be great. And then we can make a movie about it. Just remember, I came up with the idea first here on PAN.com.

    Oct 23, 2010 at 4:44 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #33   People are Funny

    “I’ll be honest.. fellas, it was sounding great. But, I could’ve used a little more cowbell. So.. let’s take it again.. “

    Oct 25, 2010 at 1:44 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #34   Dan

    How is this passive… ?

    I remember visiting here a couple years ago, and cracking up at nearly everything posted.

    I wish the author would go back to being picky about submissions, or at least tag the passive ones as passive so they’re easy to browse.

    I can see aggressive notes anywhere… The subtle, asinine ones are the true gems.

    Dan J

    Oct 28, 2010 at 6:09 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #35   Diana

    Break his hand’s WHAT? He didn’t finish the sentence…..

    Nov 8, 2010 at 9:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #36   James

    A musician friend of mine in New York tells me that there’s actually a law there protecting the right of musicians to practice in their homes. If so, the neighbors are out of luck.

    Dec 1, 2010 at 7:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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