Mosef in Houston says this is just one of the workplace safety team’s many delightfully fear-based messages that decorate his office.
Meanwhile, our submitter in Athens, Georgia says that copies of this one particular sign appeared one day out of nowhere, taped to practically every available surface. (I’m guessing the thinking behind it was something like, “Well, if a picture’s worth a thousand words, a thousand pictures are…oooh, a piggy bank!”)
related: He died for your clip art.
extra credit: Instructional Instructions
62 responses so far ↓
#1
shwonline
The lesson of sign #2: Never create a rebus when you’re stoned.
Oct 26, 2010 at 5:45 pm rating: 24
#2
oi
Mosef? Son of Mau and Josef?
Oct 26, 2010 at 5:49 pm rating: 1
#3
H bomb
The second “note” is like that six degrees of Kevin Bacon game…
So… LIGHTBULBs create light, as does FLAME, which is used to smoke meth, which can also be injected using NEEDLEs which you need a BANDAID for to cover the pinprick so no one figures out your addiction, which are gross when they get wet, like if you step in front of an open FIRE HYDRANT, which could also get water in your EARS. Kevin Bacon has ears.
Oct 26, 2010 at 5:58 pm rating: 61
#4
Mark
But they exist only because I didn’t cum safely! …oh wait
Also, FUCK YOU COMIC SANS
Oct 26, 2010 at 5:59 pm rating: 11
#5
JetJackson
Isn’t that “Nobody gets hurt” inside the circle backslash symbol essentially a double negative? They are saying no “nobody gets hurt”… so does that mean everybody gets hurt?
Oct 26, 2010 at 6:51 pm rating: 27
#6
farcical aquatic ceremony
Team janitor! Put a jumble of clip-art together into a crapTAStic poster, stick it to the door of your ‘closet’, go inside, wait for folks to lean in (’cause they’ll hope that by getting closer, the mess o’ clipart will become comprehensible), then
SLAM!!!
brain the bastards!
Oct 26, 2010 at 7:16 pm rating: 14
#7
Liza
pic #1 is definitely ExxonMobil. i used to work in their Houston office, and they are totally nuts about safety. Last summer, a worker cut herself with a box cutter, and we all seriously stopped what we were doing and had staff meetings about box cutter safety.
Oct 26, 2010 at 7:26 pm rating: 2
#8
aaa
I don’t have any children. Does this mean that it doesn’t matter if I get killed on the job?
Oct 26, 2010 at 9:21 pm rating: 39
#9
Sonya
I gotta say that my favorite part of the janitor note is the “LET THE BIG DAWG EAT” sign in the corner.
Oct 26, 2010 at 9:51 pm rating: 28
#10
Divvitar
Please, for the love of all that’s holy, don’t put a ratchet in your ear!
Oct 26, 2010 at 11:02 pm rating: 10
#11
GaTech
To be fair, it is UGA. They aren’t bright. Remember the first time *you* saw MS Paint? Same thing.
Sincerely,
Your friends down the road at Georgia Tech
Oct 26, 2010 at 11:26 pm rating: 13
#12
Canthz_B
This confirms what porn producers have known for decades.
A large Black man, behind a White woman shits money into the bank!
Oct 26, 2010 at 11:42 pm rating: 8
#13
Odious
I don’t get it.
Fire hats are unsafe or are they safer without a fireman?
Don’t stick things in your ears?
If you see a radioactive sign, stretch your legs for safety?
If a black man wears a face shield, white women should don a mouth mask while shitting into a piggy bank?
Ladders are the safest alternative? Like, as opposed to taking the stairs?
Are there “smell lines” emanating from the socks on the upper left? Why?
Oct 26, 2010 at 11:47 pm rating: 22
#14
Canthz_B
Don’t be fooled guys.
Our wives and children would be thrilled if we didn’t come home again due to an on-the-job incident.
Accidental death pays double indemnity, then there’s always that wrongful death suit settlement and Social Security survivor benefits.
So go ahead…work with reckless abandon.
You owe it to your loved ones!
Oct 27, 2010 at 12:32 am rating: 22
#15
FeRD
The best part of note #2: All of the pointless clip art it’s littered with has forced the actual CONTENT into such a small font, that it takes a heroic effort of will to actually find the message hidden on that piece of paper!
Because, that’s what you want in your signage: A message nobody will notice unless they concentrate real hard.
Oct 27, 2010 at 1:24 am rating: 10
#16
FeRD
Also re note #2: I think when padlocks are growing legs and walking around, you have much bigger problems than just workplace safety!
Oct 27, 2010 at 1:29 am rating: 15
#17
Canthz_B
Here’s an idea to remember:
Workplace items and medications can cause fires.
Be ready to think on a higher level.
Inspect your ears for radiation danger, before masking your nose (entire face if possible) and allowing Julio to lead you to safety…you’ll have to pay him first, so save a little cubicle cash in case of emergency.
Oct 27, 2010 at 3:10 am rating: 7
#18
goose
Who the fuck is ANTOR?
Oct 27, 2010 at 4:42 am rating: 4
#19
Rattus
WHO WILL THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN???!!!
Oct 27, 2010 at 8:00 am rating: 2
#20
Nightfire
So.. Remember… Don’t kick the walking light bulb or your shoe will start on fire and the walking padlock will get a band-aid to cover the work gloves with after dropping a ladder on a mans head.
Oct 27, 2010 at 8:58 am rating: 3
#21
matt
I believe the second note contains a subliminal message: The word “first” is next to the piggy bank, therefore money and profits come first.
Safety, thinking and remembering come last as indicated by smaller font. This is typical of subliminal marketing psychology. The average person taking a quick glance will only notice the largest word.
Oct 27, 2010 at 9:26 am rating: 2
#22
Madrias
I think I unsafely exploded my brain trying to figure out the second note.
Oct 27, 2010 at 12:09 pm rating: 1
#23
oi
That kid in the first note is creepy!
Oct 27, 2010 at 5:09 pm rating: 0
#24
TippingCows
I say gross out the children – bring home your hand independent of your body and use it to smack them while it’s still blood-stained.
Or better yet, hobble around on your peg leg while you beat them with your real leg. Maybe after you lose one of your eyes, laminate it and display it on the mantle as a reminder that you’re always watching them.
Oct 28, 2010 at 6:19 am rating: 1
#25
Spoo
Thank God I’m childless, so that when I accidentally cut my leg off I won’t need to worry about disappointing anyone…except my mother…she did always warn me about running with scissors…d@mn!
Oct 28, 2010 at 3:28 pm rating: 0
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