Entries from October 2010
Writes our submitter in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: “A woman in my office was recently relocated to a new cubicle, apparently against her will. I don’t really know her, but I guess now I know not what not to use as an ice breaker!”
related: Really, enough about the weather.
Tags: CAPS LOCK · let me stop you right there · most popular notes of 2010 · office · Pennsylvania · small talk
Cait spotted this artful example of parental passive-aggression “in front of a very, very wealthy residence” in New York’s East Village. “I get that ripping up the flowers was a douchey move,” Cait says, “but this seems a little over the top.”
To which I’d add: Um, yes. (They had me at the first semicolon.)
Meanwhile, across the globe, another 4-year-old was given a similar learning experience. In Australia, however, they don’t bother beating around the bush.*
*Apologies. Bad pun intended.
related: To the person who stole my flower (sniff)
Tags: Australia · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · guilt trip · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · rhetorical question · runaway run-on sentences · semicolon abuse · stealing · TL;DR · Won't somebody think of the children? · You call that punctuation?
Michael is a music teacher in New York, and one of his students, Aleks, a clarinet player with 15 years experience, recently moved to the city to start his master’s degree. “Coming from Ohio, he had no idea what he was getting into when practicing clarinet in his apartment in Queens,” says Michael. “Now he knows.”
related: Buskers & broomsticks
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · most popular notes of 2010 · music · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · Queens
You’d think, as Jen from St. Louis did, that this carefully typed message (from the public toilet at the Golden Gate Bridge), is indisputably good advice.
But as Kim observed while studying abroad on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten, there’s an exception (explosion?) to every rule.
related: Poseidon’s a pervert
Tags: bizarro spacing · CAPS LOCK · Clearly a non-native English speaker · toilet · toilet paper · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?
If you’re one of the poor sods charged with delivering catalogs and promotional flyers across Australia, it seems like the job is really a lose-lose.
You’re either lazy, as witnessed by Stacey in Brisbane…
or, as noted by Briyah in Sydney, you’re an illiterate prick.
related: This!! Is how!! You know!! We mean it!!!
Tags: Australia · going postal
Two simple rules for using the garbage chute:
DO put your dog poo down the chute.
DON’T put your dog, Pooh, down the chute.
(Thanks to Jason in Ottawa and Catherine in D.C. for submitting!)
related: Garbage chute entitlement
Tags: animal welfare · CAPS LOCK · D.C. · dogs · landlords and property managers · Ottawa · shit · that's unsanitary
Yup, says submitter Jeff in D.C., “that is the broken bike lock on top of the note.”
I’m imagining this notewriter totally whaling on that lock, rejoicing in triumph as the kidnapped bike is freed, and then, in a parting act of contrition, whipping out the Yorkie stationery, and I think the only thing more amusing would be if the cops showed up at precisely that moment.
related: Dear Bike Thief, I am very sorry
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · bicycle · D.C. · nice stationery · stealing
Unsurprisingly, Emily in D.C. says it took less than 24 hours for one her neighbors to call bullshit on the building management’s “exciting news.”
Meanwhile, this building in Columbus, Ohio — which submitter Andrew says is “really nice and fancy-looking” — appears to take the mullet approach to policing its public spaces. (Business in the front, party in the back!)
Adds Andrew: “I 100% believe that this note is legit. I work exactly one block away from where the sign was posted, and a few days ago, I went outside only to find my self interrupting someone who was pissing on our dumpster. We have caught people in the act of shitting in our parking lot, and have also received many “anonymous fecal gifts.”
related: It’s fall! Here are a few updates and several complaints.
Tags: blame it on the crackhead · Columbus · D.C. · drugs · landlords and property managers · shit · WTF?
Based on this example — spotted by Erin in the employee restroom of an AT&T Store in Los Angeles — I think the Kiwis have a clear edge over us Yanks…at least when it comes to smartass bathroom snark.
related: The bathroom-stall booger epidemic
extra credit: National stereotypes according to Google Autofill [buzzfeed.com]
Tags: art · bathroom · nose-picking · retail hell · smartass
Tremaine spotted this note posted in the lobby his Calgary apartment building. I like to imagine it the “lust” stop on Slothful Scotty‘s Seven Deadly Sins Tour.
related: Yes, Scotty, this is why you’re fat.
Tags: actually totally reasonable · Calgary · neighbors · sex sex sex