Entries from November 2010

This Christmas, give the gift of honesty

November 30th, 2010 · 93 Comments

While helping her dad clean out her grandmother’s old apartment, Amanda says she found this incredible “love note” tucked in a bottom drawer. “All my dad could say was, ‘Well, romance wasn’t always your grandfather’s strong suit.’”

12-22-88  Here is a present for you.. I'm not certain just which brand you smoke but I think that after 35 years of sneaking, lying, cheating, stealing you can try to be honest about this.  Don't sneak it any more -- I really don't give a damn if you smoke a carton a day and as a matter of fact if you will return the empty I will buy you another -- and if you have a preference let me know as these were $1.50 each. If it will hurry along the process I am all for it but don't expect me to do for your whaty you did for your mother -- get Connie to do it...

related:  I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers.

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · love & marriage · old folks · smoking

As the holidays approach…you’d better guard your kneecaps

November 29th, 2010 · 140 Comments

If you needed another reason why mixing friends and money usually ends up badly, here’s five of them.

(And to the letter-writer: I think I’ve got a great “hassle-free” New Year’s resolution idea for you!)

Dear Friends, With the holidays approaching (Chanukah on Dec. 1, and Xmas a few weeks later), there is no time like the present for

(Thanks to Kristen in Leesburg, Virginia for forwarding!)

related: Two birds with one snowman

Tags: "polite notice" · Christmas · e-mail · holiday spirit · money

Civil diso-brattiness

November 28th, 2010 · 124 Comments

“My boyfriend, Alex, lives in a high-rise apartment building occupied by college/university students — people you’d think would have some intelligence,” says Meghan in Hamilton, Ontario.

Of course, a little learning is a dangerous thing. In Alex’s building, this seemingly civil request from one of the building’s residents garnered the following indignant response.

Please smoke on the balcony.  Everyone's apartment smells of cigarettes because someone is chain-smoking all day long. Please be considerate of your neighbours.

No I won't!  What next? Don't cook Currie or fish Don't use smelly cleaners Don't perk coffee Don't bring food into building. I can smell it Don't drink, you stink up elevators Don't take shoes off, smelly feet Don't fart or burp, I can hear it and smell it.  Move to a smoke free hotel room.

But Meghan says her favorite thing about this exchange is the placement — right next that big ol’ city-mandated “no smoking” sign.

NO SMOKING: City of Hamilton By-law 80-258 Maximum Fine $5000

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

Tags: Canada · neighbors · odor · Ontario · questionable logic · rebuttals · smoking

Poultry Slam

November 24th, 2010 · 52 Comments

When Lola was 7, she says, “Our class assignment was to write a story about our favorite Thanksgiving memories. I wrote this…and then proudly presented it to my Grandmother as a gift.”

A tourkeys ideae of thanksgiving is murder, vialance, and death. Turkeys think of thanksgiving as a war. So keep this in mind, and remember what turkeys think of thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

related: Dear Santa, do you abuse your animals?

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2010 · Thanksgiving

And a Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

November 23rd, 2010 · 83 Comments

Emma says this note appeared in her dorm at the University of Chicago shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday. “Our kitchen has a sign on the fridge that says: ‘If you leave your food unlabeled, it’s fair game. Label your food.’ I assume this girl did not label her food.” (Because who would be cruel enough to steal such a traditional Thanksgiving delicacy from an old lady?)

Whoever ate my guacamole FUCK YOU. how rude can you be? that was obviously not for you. I was going to bring it to my grandmother's for thanksgiving. She was looking forward to it. I hope you enjoyed it.

Another dorm resident sent in a shot of the anonymous response added later.

Being passive-aggressive never SOLVED anything

related: Thanksgiving pride & passive-aggression

Tags: college life · food · guilt trip · irregular capitalization · rebuttals · stealing · Thanksgiving

What, you were expecting a “How can I help you?”

November 22nd, 2010 · 65 Comments

Brian in Boston spotted this aggressively service-y sign at a sandwich shop counter. Says Brian: “The girl working seemed to think that putting this up would be more effective than actually being polite and attentive.” (Further musings re: her state of mind were stymied by a “Whadda YOU lookin’ at??” glare.)

Staring is rude. If you want something, please ASK!! I'll be happy to help you.

related: Service with a snarl

Tags: "customer service" · Boston

 
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