At the time he received this note in his letterbox, Mike was living in Copenhagen, Denmark, where the apartments buildings tend to be rather close together. “My neighbor’s window is about 15 feet away from mine, across an alley,” Mike explains. “I can see her; she can see me.”
Though the wording of this note is considerably more polite compared to similar requests from other parts of the world, it still raised several questions in Mike’s mind. First of all, he says, “I have no idea how she knows I’m American. It’s not like I’m sitting in front of my computer, draped in an American flag.”
But more importantly, he wonders, “What’s the etiquette here? I thought this was just one of the quirks of urban living. You hear other people’s music, smell their cooking, and glimpse them through the window every once in awhile. I don’t really see why I should be the one to close my blinds and sit in the dark all day, since they’re the ones that have a problem with it.”
Well, what say you, peanut gallery?
Mike’s transcription: Hello US Citizen! It’s your neighbor speaking… I have a problem with your “window manners” — It’s quite problematic having you sitting in facel(?)-front many hours a day without making it cover or anything. I feel overlooked [Danglish for 'watched'] and compromised. XXX, Mel.
related: Be more private with yourself!
108 responses so far ↓
#1
Real Question
The real question is, why was Mel creepily watching Mike in his apartment?
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:13 pm rating: 57
#2
me
three kisses? Sounds like she’s hitting on him.
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:18 pm rating: 30
#3
pony girl
If this were me, I’d hang up my BITE ME t-shirt in the window. To dry. Indefinitely.
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:20 pm rating: 41
#4
farcical aquatic ceremony
Sorry, Mike. You could easily have written that you don’t make a habit of wandering past your open windows while naked, but you didn’t. That, and the defensive tone of: “I don’t really see why I should be the one to close my blinds and sit in the dark all day, since they’re the ones that have a problem with it” lead me to believe that, in fact, you spend most of your time in your apartment in the buff, and you do so knowing full well that you may be making those within sight-line of you uncomfortable.
They’re called sheers. For the sake of keeping peace with producers of fine cheeses, exes who were stallions in bed, and all other things Danish–invest in them.
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:24 pm rating: 80
#5
berge
Anyone who doesn’t want to see weird shit in other people’s places should close their OWN blinds.
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:31 pm rating: 96
#6
LadyC
Well, I think that Mel lady is the creeper I mean you’d have to be looking to notice somemone else looking….. I would credit her knowing his nationality to some of the things she’s probably seen him do while spying on him!
I DEF agree with Pony Girl! Team Bite Me!
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:45 pm rating: 14
#7
Shar
Mel seems offended and uncomfortable by her neighbor’s full frontal nudity and his XXX window show. Poor Mel.
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:47 pm rating: 5
#8
Nack
Ah, team “Smack Them Both”.
You, over there, looking in the other window and feeling overlooked…..SHUT YOUR BLINDS.
You, in there, letting it all dangle for the world to see in the bright daylight….SHUT YOUR BLINDS.
Ah. Problem solved.
Nov 4, 2010 at 6:49 pm rating: 48
#9
Go Phillies!
I thought Americans were the ones that were all prudish about nakedness.
Nov 4, 2010 at 7:08 pm rating: 12
#10
jessi
team if-you-don’t-like-it-don’t-look
Nov 4, 2010 at 7:32 pm rating: 19
#11
augusta
I’ve lived in Copenhagen for the past year and can say that it is the Danes who hang out in their apartments without clothes. It took a while for me to get used to it, but no one shuts their blinds over there !
Nov 4, 2010 at 8:08 pm rating: 21
#12
Flaboy2425
Maybe Mike should organize a clothing optional block party and make sure Mel gets an invitation.
Nov 4, 2010 at 8:24 pm rating: 3
#13
Ty
Close the blinds any time you’re not in that room–sleeping, grocery shopping, whatever–and keep them open as much as you want when you are in there. She’ll see that they’re closed and just assume you’re doing it for her. Win-win!
Nov 4, 2010 at 9:20 pm rating: 28
#14
milena
I dunno the “xxx” at the end might mean something. Maybe she truly does feel “overlooked” and wishes he’d glance her way a little more often, at least as often as she does his way, because it’s just poor manners if someone is staring at you to not stare back.
Nov 4, 2010 at 9:38 pm rating: 19
#15
Mike626
So long as he isn’t naked or spending that time in front of his computer “saluting Ole Glory’ his neighbor should be the one to close their blinds.
Nov 4, 2010 at 11:40 pm rating: 2
#16
Dawn
“Don’t look if you don’t want to see it” applies here (I’m obviously on Mike’s side), she should close her blinds/curtains if it bothers her. If “overlooked” is Danglish for “watched”, she’s complaining that she thinks him sitting there makes her feel like he’s watching her, not that he’s walking around nude.
Nov 4, 2010 at 11:41 pm rating: 3
#17
DJBS
I’d just get some sheer curtains and be done with it. Keep the light, keep the view, avoid confrontation.
Nov 4, 2010 at 11:44 pm rating: 3
#18
Divvitar
Maybe she feels watched because Mel is really an Al- Quaeda operative! If Mike closes his blinds, the terrorists win!
Nov 5, 2010 at 12:44 am rating: 5
#19
Odious
Mike, she’s just trying reverse-psychology. She’s obviously studied you rapturously and in her paranoia is trying to cover the fact. You have a stalker! I don’t know how the Danes deal with this but I’d ask the police how best to deal with the creep. Mention to them that she studied you to the point that she even knows your nationality. Man that’s creepy.
Nov 5, 2010 at 1:26 am rating: 2
#20
Schmetterfink
Well, we Europeans call them curtains, you can get them for a couple of bucks at Ikea and similar stores, they do come in very thin material meaning you can actually close them without “sitting in the dark all day” and in many European countries are common curtesy if your neighbor’s window is only 15 feet away from yours and you can see right into each others appartments. Thus, if you actually have to look out of the window for any reason, you don’t have to see them running around buck naked/getting wasted/cooking/sleeping/throwing up/making love on the kitchen table/doing whatever.
As to how they knew you were American? I know my neighbor is American. I know there is somebody living right across the street who is from the Middle East and one from Northern Africa. It’s called living in a cramped neighborhood, seeing your neighbor’s regularly, hearing them talk, talking to the same lady in the same bakery/supermarket/corner pub/… who in passing mentions that “the new guy from across the street is from X, did you know?”.
Nov 5, 2010 at 2:49 am rating: 14
#21
caron
I reckon it’s from Niel, not Mel… which makes the three kisses ‘xxx’ funnier!
Nov 5, 2010 at 3:30 am rating: 6
#22
trillian
I am pretty sure his name is Niels and he’s a guy.
Nov 5, 2010 at 4:02 am rating: 5
#23
Na
A woman who lives in an apartment of blocks complains to the landlord about her neighbour across the way whose window is opposite hers, and who has a habit of sitting in front of his window, completely nude. She complains to the landlord about him.
“He sits in that exact same place, every day! Every time I glance out the window, he’s there, naked! I have delicate sensibilities and I am often shocked and horrified by his displays of nudity. I demand you make him do something about it, tell him to stop sitting there naked, or have him get some curtains!”
The landlord looks out the window and sees the man across the way. “So you’ve only seen him naked while sitting in that exact spot?” the landlord asks. “You don’t see him get up and walk around naked?”
“Yes, only when he’s sitting in that spot, but he’s there every day, completely naked! It’s very disturbing”
“But ma’am,” said the landlord. “No matter what angle I look out of this window from, I can only see above his waist! How can you tell he’s naked below the waist?”
“That’s not true,” said the woman. “If you stand up on your tiptoes on this chair and tilt your head like this, you can see everything!”
Nov 5, 2010 at 5:24 am rating: 48
#24
Canthz_B
Of course she feels overlooked.
There she is, strutting about in the nude for hours at a time, and Mike sits there facing the window watching DVDs of “Jackass” and “Faces of Death” instead of hitting on a hot Danish babe only 15 feet away?
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Nov 5, 2010 at 5:45 am rating: 11
#25
Canthz_B
G-B fail.
Nov 5, 2010 at 6:37 am rating: 0
#26
*snerk*
She’s hot for him. Tell someone not to look, and of course they will look. She’s planning her strip tease at this very minute.
Mike, just go over and introduce yourself. Take crackers and red wine (to go with the cheese).
Nov 5, 2010 at 8:42 am rating: 2
#27
Woman on the Verge
What this note doesn’t say is that it isn’t HIM in the window looking out all day, it’s his blowup doll. She sits there staring out the window all day when she isn’t… busy.
Nov 5, 2010 at 9:13 am rating: 3
#28
Woman on the Verge
Wait. Is this one of those “windows” in adult stores? I’m thinking she’s waiting for a… um… tip. Or something.
Nov 5, 2010 at 9:15 am rating: 1
#29
Noelegy
“oh, but you fornicated with Danes and ate their cheese, so I guess that makes you psychic.”
I just have to say that this sentence made me giggle.
Nov 5, 2010 at 9:50 am rating: 6
#30
farcical aquatic ceremony
I know, I know…I thought for a while this morning that I might get to distract myself from my work by getting into an all-day ‘rumble’ with Cathy, but she didn’t bite. I guess I have to concede that she’s the bigger woman.
*dammit, GB fail!
Nov 5, 2010 at 3:01 pm rating: 3
#31
deutschglish
Damn, on the street I lived on in Germany they would be pissed if I wasn’t walking past my window in the buff at least 2X per day. Or sitting on a balcony, like my neighbour Bear Man, who had the MOST HAIR I HAVE EVER SEEN ON A LIVING HUMAN. The Hirsute One and his uberhot blonde girlfriend used to sit in the nude on their lounge chairs, five feet from my window, and very , very close to an U-Bahn station. This made little sense in winter, but in summer, all of Berlin followed suit. Anyway, no one cared, and I got used to them like you would trees or bushes after a while. I was even sad when they weren’t out… like a statue was missing or something.
Nov 5, 2010 at 3:19 pm rating: 23
#32
matt
The tone of this note makes me imagine the words being spoken into a megaphone from unit to unit through the window
Nov 6, 2010 at 3:21 am rating: 1
#33
Thorbjørn
I think Mike should stop masturbating in front of the window.
Bloody immigrant, go back to where you came from, and stop molesting our wymin’s eyes!
- Thorbjørn
Nov 6, 2010 at 3:47 am rating: 2
#34
Rebecca
Why are people so gleefully unhappy here?
Nov 6, 2010 at 11:45 pm rating: 0
#35
Really?
15 feet is almost twice as much space as what’s between the apartment buildings in NW Portland. I was 8 feet away from my neighbor who liked to be naked as much as possible, bang his girlfriend, and jerk off — all with the blinds wide open. Now, I kept my blinds closed most of the time as a result, but it wasn’t fair to me to have to live in the dark because that dildo couldn’t close the blinds before sprawling out on his bed and whacking it for 45 minutes.
Basically, if the neighbor is just sitting there and doing normal things, this person has no reason to complain!
Nov 7, 2010 at 9:49 am rating: 3
#36
gigs from home
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Nov 16, 2010 at 2:38 am rating: 1
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