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What happens when you push “Minnesota Nice” one muddy step too far?

November 14th, 2010 · 81 comments

Shortly after moving in to her new place in Minneapolis, Emily was greeted by this example of that famous “Minnesota Nice“ on a neighbor’s door.

Remove shoes before enter my place or else you will have some promblems with me. That goes for whoever whatever. Or else you won't be comming in here. And if I see any footprint mudd on my rug. I will snapout. believe that am tired of being nice to people

Remove your shoes. Or else you won't be cumming in my house. thats goes for whoever. if you don't remove your shoe's before enter my house or you ill have a promblem with me. and you will be getting my carpet clean. and the next bad as kid or whoever rip my sign off my door i will whoop there ass. I don't care who you is.

related: Your are welcome to our home

FILED UNDER: apostrophe catastrophe · irregular capitalization · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shoes · spelling and grammar police

81 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Smiley4099

    “You won’t be comming in my house.” Indeed, I save my communist manifesto for meetings of philosophy club. Or is it “you won’t be cumming in my house”? I suppose I could save that for philosophy club, too, but it might get me kicked out of Barnes and Noble.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:12 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   FeRD bang

      I dunno, Smiley4099… It might get you promoted!

      (I hear they need a new “foam-dispenser operator” at the Café!) ;)

      Nov 14, 2010 at 9:27 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   Melodie

    I love the “I DON’T CARE WHO YOU IS” bit. To me it implies that this lady has had more than her fair share of run-ins with dirty-shoed starlets and other entitled members of the glitterati.

    Rick James is all, “Fuck yo carpet, ‘nilla!”

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:17 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Amanda

      This is what I was going to comment on. Best line of the whole note!!

      Nov 14, 2010 at 10:25 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #3   Gretchen

    No idea what a “promblem” is, but I guess something suffered by people who surge into their house without warning or permission on a regular basis?

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger) bang

      A promblem is when someone habitually enters others’ houses wearing a sequined ball gown and matching shoes, dances to popular music, drinks too much spiked punch and throws up in inopportune places.

      A fitting punishment for mussing up someone’s carpet I would say.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:00 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #4   wright1

    So much passive aggression here! Note-writing neighbor with not only one but TWO signs (with #2 having some additional fury for the theft of #1), and the sign-stealer themselves.

    Hmm, possibly the sign-abductor is passively objecting to the poor spelling and grammar. I mean, they can’t have a problem with the venomous fury; that comes through just fine.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:45 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   H bomb

      Ok, maybe I just have an overactive imagination, but I am just picturing you (wright1) in this old-timey explorer/naturalist outfit with maybe a monocle or something and being all “Great Scott! Come hither, young apprentice, and observe the fascinating behaveour of the evolution of yon passive aggressive note writer and her (his?) spawn, the passive aggressive note!”

      And then maybe you’d do experiments on it and stuff with microscopes? I don’t know. You tell me.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 5:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   wright1

      Wow, H bomb, I’m taken aback. I mean, I’m really not the monocle-wearing, puttees and pith-helmet type, believe me.

      Though I’ve been told I can be as patronizing as that stereotype at times… ; )

      Nov 16, 2010 at 4:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   H bomb

      I think you just gave yourself a back-handed compliment? I like you. Friends? : )

      Nov 16, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   wright1

      Why thank you, H bomb. Sure, put me down in the “Friend” column : )

      Back-handed compliments are the safest to give oneself here, as you may have noted. Munitions-grade sarcasm, high-yield ridicule and surgical-laser wit are routinely wielded on this forum. Most of the regulars are tough acts to follow.

      Nov 16, 2010 at 8:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #5   KST

    Both of those notes gave me a headache to read. Is it really even English? It reminds me of some movie where aliens are masquerading as humans and that is their attempt to speak like a normal person.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:48 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #6   Divvitar

    Dear note writer: I understand that you need to keep your floor clean and are educationally-challenged. However, if you touch my kid, the only muddy footprints you’ll need to worry about will be the ones on your ass!

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:49 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   FeRD bang

      Yeah, that’s definitely the right approach, Divvitar. Confront the nutjob on their level. :-/

      Nov 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #7   JetJackson

    I like how even the second time around she still overestimates the amount of writing she can fit on one piece of lecture pad. Doing the same thing twice and expecting a different result is a sign of insanity… not that this is the only sign of insanity in the notes.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 8:54 pm   rating: 39  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   FeRD bang

      Especially since, both times, he/she still wastes the entire header area of the paper. Because this is totally a well-adjusted, rational member of society who really values staying within the lines.

      Nov 14, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   timothy d

      I think it’s just a sign of stupidity, really.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 12:04 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   ashmeadow

      I don’t think they overestimated the amount of writing. I think they overestimated the amount of rage. They came to last sentence they had planned and then found they had some more froth left.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 3:22 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

  • #8   Rhamza

    I like how even though the writign is in all caps it gets progressively smaller and more cramped with every line.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 9:04 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #9   Texrtw

    Minnesota? I saw this exact same note posted on Michele Bachmann’s office door in D.C.
    It must be a Minnesota thing.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 9:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #10   Flaboy2425

    With the grammar and spelling, I wonder if the note writer is a kid or a seventh grade drop-out?

    Nov 14, 2010 at 9:14 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   AuntyBron

      You’ve obviously never had to grade college English papers.

      Nov 14, 2010 at 11:10 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   timothy d

      What college? That’s just sad.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 12:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   spellingdisasters

      Or any number of immigrants – illegal or not.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:18 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      It’s pretty obvious this was written by a Civil Service employee. Could be from any number of agencies, but I suspect most likely a clerk at the Board of Education or Bureau of Elections.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:37 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   Flaboy2425

      If college kids can’t spell any better than that, they should never have gotten out of high school. I flunked college English because of comma errors. I still am not good with commas but at least my spelling passes……..most of the time.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 8:00 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.6   Flaboy2425

      Oh, Canthz_B, I thought we were friends. I am a retired Civil Service employee and feel hurt by your remark. There are intelligent people serving our government. You must have had a bad experience at some time to make you feel like that. I would apologize for the person who triggered this feeling within you.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 8:15 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.7   anglophile bang

      Maybe you could take a continuing adult education class on the proper use of ellipses, Flaboy. ;)

      Nov 15, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.8   Mary

      Hay Flaboy2425

      Im a 7th grade dropout an I kin rite real good

      Nov 15, 2010 at 8:51 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.9   Flaboy2425

      Well, anglophile, that wasn’t intended as an ellipse. It was intended as a long pause. An ellipse has only three periods and is used to indicate omitted words or, in some instances, incomplete thoughts, neither of which was present in my statement.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 2:52 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.10   anglophile bang

      Might I suggest our friend the em dash (–) for your future pause-indicating needs?

      Nov 15, 2010 at 2:54 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #10.11   Robert

      Except the em dash is used to separate a parenthetical aside from a sentence, not indicate a pause. Standard ellipses, as often used in fiction writing for effect, were the proper choice.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 4:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.12   shwo! bang

      Grammar fight!

      Your grammar’s so old, it still uses the Oxford comma!

      Nov 15, 2010 at 5:16 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #10.13   Flaboy2425

      Well, anglophile, you may suggest anything you like. I used periods–more than three. They suited my purpose and will probably continue to do so.

      “Dash away, dash away, dash away all.”

      Nov 15, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.14   teflonn

      Hey, hey, hey, now! Cool, influential people still use the Oxford comma. Take Steven Colbert, for example. (2:40)

      Nov 15, 2010 at 10:38 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #10.15   Divvitar

      hukt awn fawnix werkt fore mi!

      Nov 17, 2010 at 1:29 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   FeRD bang

    OK, that handwriting just screams “Craaaaaaaaaazy! Look how the “M” in “REMOVE” is composed out of a bunch of disjoint straight lines, like the notewriter’s Zorro slashing at the paper.

    Emily should move, now! Before witness protection has to do it.

    Nov 14, 2010 at 9:19 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #12   fruitylexia

    Long-time lurker, first-time poster…this one forces me to ask the question “why is it that so many PA notes are in handwriting that I’ve hereunto only associated with serial killers?”

    Nov 14, 2010 at 9:31 pm   rating: 25  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   WMDKitty


      Oh, my.


      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   The Elf

      You know, you might have a connection there. Jack the Ripper and Zodiac all wrote notes (though the Ripper notes might not be from the actual killer). There are notes associated with Son of Sam killings and Berkowitz did write on the walls of his apartment. Kazinsky had a manifesto. Hmmmm….. Makes you think…..

      But I will point out that their handwriting has varied in quality, with many being typed. Poor grammar and spelling show up pretty frequently, though.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 9:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #12.3   Ndawg

      The penmanship is nothing short of fantastic. I counted four kinds of Es: capital, lowercase, backward 3, and ones that look like the Euro symbol. So special.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 10:40 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #13   courtney

    Why wouldn’t the neighbor put this inside? Do they just leave the door unlocked so random people can wander through (after removing their shoes, of course)?

    Nov 14, 2010 at 9:49 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   pony girl

      Yeah, that is my question as well.
      Actually, I don’t see a need for a sign at all.
      I just tell people when I answer the door.

      No need for a sign.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   anglophile bang

      But you’re not bat-shit crazy, pony girl.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 7:01 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Sarah

      Or maybe she is and you just don’t know it yet…mwa ha ha!

      Nov 29, 2010 at 11:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    More evidence that special needs adults are being moved into independent living situations far too soon.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:03 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   WMDKitty

      Oh, how I hate the phrase “special needs”!

      My disability is PHYSICAL, and I’m classified as “special needs”. Makes it way too easy to lump all disabilities into one concept of “special needs”.
      Wishy-washy P.C. euphemisms; I hate ‘em.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:39 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Canthz_B bang

      Like I made it up? “You people” did, so live with it and be careful what you wish for.

      Is your disability that chip on your shoulder?

      Nov 15, 2010 at 2:01 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   sarjo

      I gots a few special needs myself: they’re private, but ripe bleu cheese, lucky rabbits feet, and sparkly shoes are involved.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   WMDKitty

      Canthz, I’m not the one that decided to label us all “Special”. I’d rather be called disabled, and it just grinds my fucking gears that more people don’t have the balls to defy the P.C. Language Police.

      My point was, “Special Needs” is overly-vague, and could mean damn near ANYTHING (see sarjo’s post @14.3). I, personally find that it’s easier to explain a disability when you avoid euphemisms and “feel-good” language — YMMV.

      Nov 16, 2010 at 10:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.5   Canthz_B bang

      Why not just avoid niceties like “disabled” and stick with the tried and true “cripple”?

      My only point is that just as you feel comfortable being called “disabled”, others would say they are not “disabled” because they have plenty of abilities…they just have “special needs” to cope with a world not ergonomically set up for them.

      There’s no reason to hate the term.

      Nov 18, 2010 at 4:51 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    This person is highly composed. They managed to use every letter of the alphabet except J, Q and Z.

    They only use those when they “snap out” on your “as”!

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   TippingCows

    I can only hope they are foreigners. Perhaps they are Japanese.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Canthz_B bang

      No, I think this time it’s one of mine.

      I’ll phone them tomorrow. :-(

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:26 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   FeRD bang

      “Does Obama know about this?” -House
      “I tried calling him on the brother hotline. He didn’t pick up.” -Foreman

      Nov 15, 2010 at 5:32 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   Canthz_B bang

      At least Obama’s dues are paid up. We haven’t seen a dime from Clarence Thomas in decades! :lol:

      Nov 15, 2010 at 5:43 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    When attempting to write “…whip their ass”,
    it never helps to have “Whoop! There it is!” playing on your iPod.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:24 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #18   WMDKitty

    Someone made the mistake of installing white carpet….

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:34 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   The Elf

      Love it. I never understood the white carpet thing. When we bought our house, the big basement room had white carpeting. The previous owner had a toddler and a dog. I can only assume they kept both caged in order to keep that carpeting white. I took one look at it and figured it would have some sort of stain before the year was out. That would be red wine, week 1, celebrating the purchase of our home.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 9:27 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   WMDKitty

      My parents made the mistake of white carpeting. So, no wheelchair use in the house. Of course, they then complained about the handprints on the walls. >.<

      Nov 16, 2010 at 10:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #19   Krista

    lol @ the last note saying “I don’t care who you is.”

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #20   teflonn

    “And you will be getting my carpet clean.”

    If Minnesotans have discovered carpet-cleaning mud, I fail to see what this note-writer’s problem is.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 8:59 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #21   Rattus

    To my mind, you earn nice, clean carpets through the judicious use of proper language, spelling and grammar. Personally, I have no respect whatsoever for the rugs of anyone who is unable to spell the word “problem”. And that means I won’t pay to clean them either.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 9:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #22   farcical aquatic ceremony

    With such atrocious writing skills, this person HAS to be living in a run-down neighborhood, yet the delinquent acts of the local “bad as(sic)” kids are tracking in mud and stealing notes from doors..? I’m confused.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 9:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   sarjo

      Whet a mimnute! I live in a trebbily fancry area and sum piople hear cant spell either!

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #23   Brau

    Haha. Very funny. But if only he could write properly! :P

    Nov 15, 2010 at 9:37 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   farcical aquatic ceremony

    I SO wish I could hear the notewriter speaking these words–you know there’ve just gotta be some great gestures and killer intonation to go with gems like “SNAP OUT” and “whoop there ass”. A book-on-tape that’s a compilation of these notes, as read by their writers, would be awesome…

    Nov 15, 2010 at 9:52 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #24.1   The Elf

      If not the writers, maybe PAN can hire William Shatner to read them dramatically. Everything sounds better when read by William Shatner. Can you imagine how awesome this note would be then?

      Nov 15, 2010 at 10:22 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #24.2   The voice of... James Mason bang

      I will… whoop there as… I don’t care… who… YOU IS!!!

      Hmm… probably best to leave the Shatner impression to the pros…

      Nov 15, 2010 at 11:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #25   Edna

    You guys are idiots. Cubicle shut-ins.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 12:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   The Elf

      Is it possible to be shut in a cubicle? By definition, they have no doors.

      Nov 15, 2010 at 1:33 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #25.2   anglophile bang

      Aw, snap. Here I was, feeling all proud of myself this morning on my day off. I got showered and dressed and did the laundry, and I cleaned the living room and kitchen and loaded and ran the dishwasher. I watched a couple of episodes of Dr Who Season Five (weeping angels again!) answered a few work e-mails, and was thinking about cleaning the bathroom when I figured I had earned a few minutes to play on the internet, so I come back here to find out if anyone has written any funny comments on, only to find out I’m an idiot and a cubicle shut-in.

      Excuse me while I go end it all in the (dirty) bathtub. :(

      Nov 15, 2010 at 2:20 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #25.3   Nahhh bang


      Nov 16, 2010 at 12:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #26   divaandwriter bang

    Um … Why is this person telling people in the hallway to take their shoes off? All she has to do is ask them politely when she answers the door.

    Ah yes! I forgot! Batshit crazy! Sorry. Go on with your regularly scheduled discussion.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 1:45 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #27   Ruth

    What would Garrison Keillor have to say about this?

    Nov 15, 2010 at 3:16 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #27.1   The Elf

      Minnesota. Where the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all the passive-aggressive notes are confusing as all hell.

      Nov 16, 2010 at 7:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #28   Tiffany

    I am going to put this note on my door

    Nov 15, 2010 at 5:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #29   Lazykins

    Reads like Hmong. With the location being Minnesota, I would put money on it.

    Nov 15, 2010 at 5:32 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #30   LadyC

    “I don’t care who you is”?!!!!
    Oh gosh…..GHETTO ALERT!

    What a shame, I wish I lived in Minnesota so I could take down the sign and smack her w/ my dirty shoe! What a Biotch!

    Nov 15, 2010 at 6:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #31   Odious

    I was going to make all snide about the state of education in Mini-soooooda but really I think this person is mentally challenged (or still in grade school) so no bones from me.

    Nov 16, 2010 at 3:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #32   Really?

    No one noticed? It’s strange black woman with a knife!

    Nov 17, 2010 at 9:00 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up


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