Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”
(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)
Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)
related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!
105 responses so far ↓
#1
jfruh
Ha ha, I love “including specifically me” so much!
Nov 18, 2010 at 3:37 pm rating: 43
#2
nobody
is the bossman a 14 yr old girl in note #2?
“ew, you smell!”
“but mommy said i’m special!!”
Nov 18, 2010 at 3:39 pm rating: 2
#3
Allie
As a person that is severly sensitive to self-centered, whiny hypochondriacs I have to ask for your help. Please refrain from sending me ridiculous memos regarding your petty complaints. The world, and I, have a lot bigger problems than b.o.
Nov 18, 2010 at 3:55 pm rating: 70
#4
Mo®
That wasn’t a burrito he left on her desk.
Nov 18, 2010 at 4:01 pm rating: 21
#5
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
“…sneeze into a kleenex and discard right away…”
Thank God you came along. Because I can’t find a single box of kleenex with directions on it and those damned tissues are so confusing to operate.
Nov 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm rating: 55
#6
cotton
good lord, comic sans is begging to be the victim of workplace violence. pain in the ass
Nov 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm rating: 20
#7
Talia
Taylor, that sucks. But I hope you at least got canned for a Taco Bueno burrito and not a nasty Taco Bell one.
Southern Marriot sucks anyhow. Go to 71st and work at the Renaissance!
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:06 pm rating: 3
#8
punkypower
The notewriter should just take a more direct approach and put some soap, deodorant and mouthwash on the offender’s desk. That’s what we did when my high school government teacher’s breath was stinky enough to peel the paint off a Buick.
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:10 pm rating: 10
#9
Kym
The first thing this “person” should do is get a dictionary and learn how to spell odor! Next, quit and go start a business where only nice smelling things happen!
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:17 pm rating: 3
#10
ClearlyDemented
Dear Director, Finance and Administration,
Did you know that oversensitivity to smells could be a sign of brain cancer and/or snottybitch syndrome? I’ll advise you to restrain from discussing your symptoms in such an open forum; I’m sure you remember what happened when we learned of Wally’s IBS. I would hate to have to turn you in for violating your own HIPAA rights.
Sincerely,
[retracted]
Manager, Mentally/Emotionally Challenged
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:20 pm rating: 35
#11
la
Sorry, but for the most part I agree with the second note-writer. The “including specifically me” part is kind of ridiculous, but as a fragrance allergy sufferer, I can assure you that one wrong odor can be MISERABLE. Body odor is bad enough but my problem is really with perfumes, some detergents, etc. The first thing I notice is a dry burning in my sinuses. If I can’t get away, this turns into a throbbing headache. If the scent still persists, I’ll eventually get nauseated and dizzy and have actually had to be driven home a couple of times.
In my case, and I suspect many others’ as well, it has nothing to do with whether a fragrance smells “good” or “bad.” There are perfumes I love but can’t get within 50 ft of because they trigger my symptoms. To all of you who are mocking this woman…do so because of her holier-than-thou attitude, not your perception of the validity of her condition.
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:33 pm rating: 13
#12
pony girl
I don’t get this whole ‘sneeze into your arm’ thing.
Can’t I just sneeze into my hands and, oh, I don’t know, wash them (and also keep my hands to myself?)
Must I really walk around with snot all over my silk blouse all day?
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:33 pm rating: 15
#13
SB
Regarding the second note–nice try, but a waste of time. The stinky people NEVER realize it’s them. I’ll never forget the time the Office Stinkybritches made fun of my department’s acronym, B. O., while all of us tried to avoid looking at each other.
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:35 pm rating: 18
#14
Stinky
I work outdoors and have a tendency to get pretty funky, anyway. Once I went after work to chiropractor. Someone complained to a different practitioner and I was requested to come clean thenceforth (started making appts on Saturdays). Fair enough, except I’m 99% sure the complainer was the woman who came in after me reeking of perfume so strong I almost got sick. At least my smells are natural (and, though I get funky, I clean up daily when needed–this was not accumulated reek).
Go Team BO! Too many perfumes in the world.
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:39 pm rating: 8
#15
zenvelo
Canada, eh? Not gonna get better. I have never smelled as many rancid pits as I did on the dance floor at a wedding reception in British Columbia. Even the bride coulda scared a skunk.
Nov 18, 2010 at 5:45 pm rating: 3
#16
Listay1
Odour is the British spelling and is accepted as a “correct” form of spelling world-wide (except in the USA where people can’t spell).
Sincerely,
a Literature and Linguistics Nerd in New Zealand.
Nov 18, 2010 at 6:05 pm rating: 13
#17
Kay
I must say, I am a little interested in knowing more about the “progressive discipline” mentioned in the first note.
Nov 18, 2010 at 6:44 pm rating: 8
#18
LA22
uhhh I could not be more positive I worked with the second note writer. to the submitter: is this from a law firm?? ps if it is i can’t stand her, and i happily don’t work there anymore…so you can say if it is haha
Nov 18, 2010 at 7:45 pm rating: 0
#19
Divvitar
The second note writer should have to spend an hour on a commuter bus in Greece. Between the Turkish cigarettes and B.O., she will welcome the smells at the office!
Nov 18, 2010 at 8:23 pm rating: 1
#20
Andie
I would purposefully stink up myself, or bring in something that resembles body odor, if I got that email. Just to piss her off. I can’t stand people like that (even though body odor IS gross, obvs).
Nov 18, 2010 at 8:57 pm rating: 0
#21
cleanuponaisle2
… and you’d BETTER use Kleenex brand… because Puffs just ain’t cuttin’ it around here…
Nov 18, 2010 at 10:18 pm rating: 7
#22
Nahhh
My dentist has a sign up front that says: “Please don’t wear scent on appointment day. The doctor is allergic. Thanks!” He says he’s never had a problem with people complying. Directness FTW!
Nov 18, 2010 at 11:25 pm rating: 7
#23
Canthz_B
I was going to do something with James Brown’s “Too Funky In Here”, but have you seen what lyrics websites make of James’ lyrics?
They’re even harder to read than to pick-up by ear…YEEOOUUWW!!
Nov 19, 2010 at 12:28 am rating: 1
#24
Ih8stinkers
Understandable. I have to ride the subway, and it’s amazing how many people smell like BO. Shower, plz.
Nov 19, 2010 at 10:08 am rating: 2
#25
Lidda
There is only one proper and socially acceptable response to these letters, and that is, “Fuck you. Specifically you.”
Nov 19, 2010 at 10:46 am rating: 17
#26
Barb H
Wow! Does “progressive discipline” include whips and leather? Bring it on! The woman in the second memo needs one of those giant hamster balls, with ventilation ports that can be closed up. I wonder what SHE smells like?
Nov 19, 2010 at 3:59 pm rating: 1
#27
Hyacinth
It might be important to note that in many states requiring staff to work during lunch (Taylor said, “When I started this job we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out…”) is against labor laws. My husband’s employer lost this battle and all the salaried employees in all the stores got extra money from them, courtesty of a ruling by the labor board.
Nov 23, 2010 at 11:53 am rating: 0
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