And a Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

November 23rd, 2010 · 83 comments

Emma says this note appeared in her dorm at the University of Chicago shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday. “Our kitchen has a sign on the fridge that says: ‘If you leave your food unlabeled, it’s fair game. Label your food.’ I assume this girl did not label her food.” (Because who would be cruel enough to steal such a traditional Thanksgiving delicacy from an old lady?)

Whoever ate my guacamole FUCK YOU. how rude can you be? that was obviously not for you. I was going to bring it to my grandmother's for thanksgiving. She was looking forward to it. I hope you enjoyed it.

Another dorm resident sent in a shot of the anonymous response added later.

Being passive-aggressive never SOLVED anything

related: Thanksgiving pride & passive-aggression

FILED UNDER: college life · food · guilt trip · irregular capitalization · rebuttals · stealing · Thanksgiving


83 responses so far ↓

  • #1   goose

    I thought stealing shit was totally in the spirit of Thanksgiving?

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:04 pm   rating: 68  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   pony girl

      Yeah, but you have to leave some beads or disease-ridden blankets in exchange for the guacamole or other stolen goods.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 6:39 pm   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   shwo! bang

    If you have some guacamole, and I have some guacamole, and I have a chip. And my chip reaches across the table, and starts to scoop your guacamole… I EAT YOUR GUACAMOLE!

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:10 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   her fuzziness

      I laughed so hard at this comment that it hurt my already sore throat. But it was worth it!

      Nov 23, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   chris

    seems just aggressive to me :D

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:19 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   Canthz_B bang

    There goes her place in Granny’s will.
    Never promise to bring the traditional Thanksgiving guacamole if you can’t deliver.

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:24 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   pony girl

      Actually, I’m wondering why the guacamole was made in advance.
      It gets all yucky-looking.
      It’s super easy to make, you’re really supposed to make it and then eat it almost immediately.

      dang. i swear there was no comment referencing this when I submitted this! =(

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:02 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Noelegy

      When I was a kid, before I learned to cook and be responsible for my own food, I looked forward to traditional Thanksgiving all year because I loved everything associated with Thanksgiving dinner. We always had dinner at my aunt and uncle’s house. One year, they announced that they were “tired” of turkey and dressing and were instead going to serve Mexican food. I was not amused.

      That being said: Guacamole for Thanksgiving? No. No, no, NO. Grandma will get over it. Trust me. Unless it was special guacamole that the note-writer made herself from avocados she grew, NO BIG DEAL.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 4:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Canthz_B bang

      Mmm, turkey giblet burritos and refried green bean casserole. 8-)

      Nov 24, 2010 at 4:30 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   pony girl

    Team don’t eat it if it isn’t yours.
    Unless this dorm is filled with alzheimer’s patients, they know damn well what food is and isn’t theirs.

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:38 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   shwo! bang

      Maybe someone stored a container of diced tomatoes, diced onions, chopped cilantro, minced garlic, a little chili powder and just a splash of lime juice in the same refrigerator about 10 months ago, and just thought it went bad when seeing a container of those same ingredients covered in a thick green slime. Could happen.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 6:49 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   FeRD bang

      But as the posted information for prospective fridge-space users clearly indicated (or so we’re led to believe), if something isn’t labeled, it is theirs! (At least, that’s my interpretation of “fair game”.)

      Nov 23, 2010 at 6:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   FeRD bang

      …And, more practically, I’ve lived in dorms / worked in offices where it was common practice to leave leftover “communal” food from sponsored events in the kitchen, free for the taking. (We always converged like vultures after the monthly board meeting broke up, they laid in the really choice spread for those!) So, frankly, anything unlabeled was meant to be considered “fair game”. From the notice posted on their fridge, it sounds like they could very well have a very similar type of arrangement.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 6:57 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.4   pony girl

      Yeah, you food-stealers can try to justify it all you want, but you know dang well when food is not yours. Even “communal” food. My sack lunch or leftovers from salt lick do not look like communal food.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:07 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.5   FeRD bang

      Ohhhh-kay, clearly you’re carrying around some emotional scars here, pg. Nobody’s trying to take your leftovers. You’re in a safe place. …Somebody hurt you, once, didn’t they? Who was it? Do you want to talk about it? Would you like a hug? ;)

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:14 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.6   pony girl

      =)

      I would love a hug.
      Just don’t think that gives you free rein to steal my leftovers!
      ;)
      ps I don’t care who you is, leave my Salt Lick alone!

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:19 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.7   jadefirefly

      Show me on the Leftovers Doll where the bad dormmate touched them!!

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:27 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.8   Mike

      Yum, Salt Lick! I might be tempted to steal those leftovers.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 1:27 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.9   Dr Frankenfurter

      I ♥ you pg. I brought some Uncle Jimmy’s Squeezy Buns! Happy Thanksgivings!

      Nov 24, 2010 at 8:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.10   Wade bang

      According to Texas law, stealing Salt Lick leftovers is grounds for justifiable homicide.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 3:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.11   pony girl

      Feelin’ the love. ♥
      Okay, I’ll share the salt lick leftovers with y’all!

      Nov 24, 2010 at 5:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.12   Wade bang

      I’d ask for brisket, but Salt Lick brisket is never left over. ;)

      Nov 24, 2010 at 5:29 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   scott

    who eats guacamole on thanksgiving anyways

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:52 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   FeRD bang

      Terrorists and the Obama family, I’m sure Fox News will tell you.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 6:58 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   pony girl

      um, me and about 90% of my neighbors.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:41 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.3   goose

      But not the note-leaver or her grandmother – not this thanksgiving anyhow.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 11:41 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.4   WMDKitty

      I don’t know, people who like guacamole?

      Nov 24, 2010 at 3:39 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.5   Woman on the Verge bang

      I was thinking the whole passive aggressive part was actually making guacamole for her grandmother for Thanksgiving. Huh.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.6   Pterosaur

      Giving your grandmother a tub of garlicky, fiber-rich ass fuel is passive aggressive towards the entire family. Maybe it’s revenge for Nanna’s greasy green bean casserole last year.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 11:52 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   JeRe

    Who makes guacamole two days before it’s going to be eaten? I say the person who saw the guacamole with the little label that said “Thanksgiving Guacamole for Grandma” saved grandma and some hopefully luscious avocados from a fate worse than leftovers.

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:57 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Donna Martin Graduates!

      The point is there *was* no label… though you’re right about guac only being good the day it’s made.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 12:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   pony girl

    @6 -
    Well, we know of at least three people, judging from this PAN.

    please excuse the gigglebrax. i’m operating on about 4 braincells right now

    Nov 23, 2010 at 6:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   molly moon

    I live with people who constantly eat my food. Luckily one of them is a vegetarian. So whenever I cook anything I just put meat in it. He has gotten sick a couple times, right after I noticed that my green beans were gone. Maybe one day he will figure it out?

    Nov 23, 2010 at 7:00 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   FeRD bang

    Here’s what’s really bugging me — I’m starting to feel, looking closely at the note, like the notewriter might have spelled it “guacomole”. (Which I’d of course immensely enjoy berating and ridiculing her for, if true.) But, due to the quirks of her handwriting and an improbable convergence of letter forms, I don’t think there’s any way that can be asserted with sufficient authority for the mocking to begin. :(

    Nov 23, 2010 at 7:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   guacomole

    Guacomole!

    Nov 23, 2010 at 7:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   FeRD bang

      FeRD!

      …Oh, I thought that’s what we were doing. No?

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   Liz

      Liz!

      (sure, why not?)

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   pony girl

      pony girl!

      (this is fun!)

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:28 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   pony girl

      Tequila!!

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:28 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   meta

      Meta.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:43 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.6   Canthz_B bang

      First!!

      (wait, wrong game, right?)

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:55 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.7   FeRD bang

      Right, wrong game. Wait! How can this be‽‽

      Nov 23, 2010 at 8:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.8   The Elf

      Janet!
      Dr. Scott!
      Janet!
      Brad!
      Rocky!
      (Rocky glares)

      I just wanted to cover all the bases.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 7:35 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.9   Dr Frankenfurter

      How do you do. I
      see you’ve met my
      faithful handyman.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 8:43 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger) bang

    “If you leave your food unlabeled, it’s fair game. Label your food.”

    Who wants to bet a dollar that she labeled it “Guacamole?” (Or possibly “Guacomole.”)

    Nov 23, 2010 at 7:16 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   jadefirefly

      Oh, you know she did. xD And can’t understand why that wasn’t good enough.

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:32 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Would have been good enough for me. I don’t like guacamole. :-P

      Nov 23, 2010 at 7:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Kristin

    The addon was more of a dick move. The girl can’t really do anything to solve the crime so she had to be PassAgg instead. Although she could just be aggressive-aggressive and punch every resident in the face.

    Nov 23, 2010 at 8:05 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   FeRD bang

      She “had” to be? I must have missed that part of the training seminar. (…It was probably a morning session, I was usually, like, wicked hung over so I skipped most of those.)

      Nov 23, 2010 at 8:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   Kristin

      Would much rather vent my anger that way than be known as the girl who belligerently interrogated everyone about guacamole.

      The truly passive aggressive response would involve stealing everyone else’s shit. Passive Aggressive and delicious.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 5:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Divvitar

    WTF? Just get off your high-horse miss “guacomole” and make some more! That first batch was fucking delicious! ;)

    Nov 23, 2010 at 8:35 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   FeRD bang

      Ut-oh! Divvitar’s on the verge of something!

      Nov 23, 2010 at 8:37 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.2   Madrias

      I’m waiting for one of my favorite people here to show up…

      Nov 24, 2010 at 2:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #14.3   Mo®

      She’s busy making stuffing… wait I may have that mixed up.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 8:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   Zinnia

    How rude can the note writer be? Don’t go half-assing some passive-aggressive note without the obligatory ten exclamation points after the expletive. And, try capitalizing the sentences you hastily scrawled off; this is a dorm, you are in college, at least make an attempt to prove it. Granny can always get guacamole (which is indeed spelled wrong) but I’m willing to bet she’d much rather have a literate grandchild. And lastly, sorry, nobody is afraid of notes authored in pink highlighter.

    Nov 23, 2010 at 8:43 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      I dunno… Isn’t the Purple Lantern harmed by all things pink?

      Nov 24, 2010 at 7:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #15.2   Raincheck

      The salutation(!) is also incorrect. It should start “To whomever…”. Unless it’s equivalent to “To the person who ate my guacamole (whoever that is)”. Hmm, this is harder than I thought…

      Nov 24, 2010 at 7:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #16   castle

    That guacamole was “F*cking Delicious”!

    Nov 23, 2010 at 9:25 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Madrias

      I’m waiting for WotV now.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 2:08 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   The Elf

      Me too, but sadly… it probably was. I love a good guacamole.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 7:40 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   butt

    I’m mostly wondering why ‘solved’ is underlined in the response.

    PAN never SOLVED anything

    Nov 24, 2010 at 2:31 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   ashmeadow

      Because PANs have clearly started a lot of things. I’m told WWII started with a passive-aggressive note from England to Germany. And then a return PAN from Germany to England. And then just aggression.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 4:15 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   Canthz_B bang

      Well, a PA from Germany to the West first actually (the Far East is a whole different story, the war having begun there well before the European war, not to mention that Italy invaded Abyssinia (Ethiopia) before Germany invaded Poland, but then nothing of consequence happens until it affects Europe, right?). Over the Danzig or Polish Corridor it was, but point well taken nonetheless.
      Can’t we all be friends? :-)

      Nov 24, 2010 at 4:52 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.3   TippingCows

      The thirty years war was started by a passive aggressive defenestration of a baker’s dozen people or so. I mean come on, this stuff happens in history ALL THE TIME. If only people did their research!
      THE PAN EMPIRE WILL FALL TOO!

      Nov 24, 2010 at 9:35 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.4   park rose

      TC, then there will be panoply and bedlam! A babbling of tongues.

      Nov 25, 2010 at 8:01 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Canthz_B bang

    Who says someone ate the guacamole? Has anyone checked the garbage disposal? I know that’s where I’d have put it.

    Nov 24, 2010 at 2:55 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   WMDKitty

    I’m definitely team “If it isn’t yours, DON’T EAT IT!”

    I’d also like to add, “If you’re not sure, ASK!” Most people are willing to share when asked nicely.

    Nov 24, 2010 at 3:41 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Noelegy

      I’m definitely Team “If it’s not yours, paws off!” but I’m also Team “who the heck brings guacamole for Thanksgiving?” I’m so torn.

      Nov 24, 2010 at 4:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.2   WMDKitty

      Maybe it was an appetizer?

      Nov 24, 2010 at 8:28 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #19.3   sarjo

      Dang, I thought the rule was: “When in doubt, PIG OUT.”

      Nov 28, 2010 at 3:29 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   aaa bang

    Dude, being passive aggressive solves all sorts of shit. It sets wrongs right while making you look totally bitchin cool in the process. Don’t colleges teach their students anything these days? Fuck, what is this world coming to?

    Nov 24, 2010 at 6:22 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   divaandwriter bang

    So why doesn’t she just go out and buy some more guacamole at the local supermarket? Even poor college students can usually afford one tub of supermarket guacamole.

    Nov 24, 2010 at 9:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Nerdette

      Not in Hyde Park (the location of UChicago). The nearest grocery store is a Treasure Island, and those prices aren’t exactly “student friendly.”

      Nov 25, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #21.2   The Elf

      There’s actually a grocery store called “Treasure Island”? Hahahahahaha!

      I’m sure their prices are highway robbery. You pay a hand and a leg for them. Maybe an eye too. The good stuff is all buried on the lower shelf and while you’re digging for your treasure they’ll plunder your booty.

      I really hope this place is run by a guy named “Flint” and that he has a pet parrot. “Braaawwk! Polly want some guacamole!”

      I must visit this place. If only I had a map.

      Nov 26, 2010 at 7:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   Canthz_B bang

    I’d just tell Grandmother the guac was stolen by a wolf as I traveled over the river and through the woods to get to her house.

    Maybe then we could get her to move into some cheap senior citizens housing in the inner city, where we could be robbed by junkies like respectable people!

    Nov 24, 2010 at 1:12 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Nerdette

    What dorm is this in? I know in Broadview we had similar signs suggesting labeling your food, and anything unlabeled was just free-for-all.

    Nov 25, 2010 at 8:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   Walker, "Tex" (a stranger) bang

    As much as I hate to be serious, there are two ways to keep guacamole from turning brown:

    1. Adding something acidic immediately after opening the avocado helps (tomatoes, lime/lemon juice).

    2. But the real issue is oxidation. So you put a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface of the guacamole and smooth out any air bubbles. That’ll keep it green for days.

    Now, snark on!

    Nov 25, 2010 at 10:29 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Zarah

    The obvious choice when dealing with this crowd is to publicly and copiously spit in everything you put in the fridge.

    Dec 1, 2010 at 10:58 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #25.1   sold!

      well, now I’m definitely not eating the “guacamole” at your house . . .

      Nov 23, 2011 at 1:37 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.2   sold!

      though I am very impressed by your ability to post from the future. Who won the Texas v. A&M game?

      Nov 23, 2011 at 1:41 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #25.3   sold!

      oh, wait, I see you’re writing from the past. I’m not eating anything perishable from your house at all.

      Nov 23, 2011 at 1:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #26   sold!

    now I see I stumbled down a rabbit hole named “archived.”

    “Never mind.” –E. Litella

    Nov 23, 2011 at 2:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up