While helping her dad clean out her grandmother’s old apartment, Amanda says she found this incredible “love note” tucked in a bottom drawer. “All my dad could say was, ‘Well, romance wasn’t always your grandfather’s strong suit.’”
related: I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers.
93 responses so far ↓
#1
Party in my pants
Nothing says “Merry Christmas, I love you!” like a carton of cigs. I love the fact that he took the time to type the note.
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:10 pm rating: 24
#2
Mad As Hell
Who says chivalry is dead? If he’s the role model for the men who came after him, it doesn’t surprise me that I can’t even find a man to open the door for me.
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:11 pm rating: 12
#3
farcical aquatic ceremony
“Nope, your gran’pa didn’t do that whole ‘romance and assisted suicide’ thing–that was your great-aunt Connie’s department.”
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:12 pm rating: 57
#4
Gotta23Skidoo
Wow, that last paragraph is a real doozie. Is he suggesting he’d like her to die? Also, I really wanna know what exactly she did for her mother. Angel of mercy perhaps?
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:14 pm rating: 27
#5
shwo!
I have the uncomfortable feeling that what she did for her mother was plug her tracheotomy tube…
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:16 pm rating: 23
#6
owerhuwsefnowei@iosfoiuwe.com
There is definitely something ominous and probably best left private about that last paragraph.
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:26 pm rating: 28
#7
berge
I am a little confused by the last paragraph also… so the process he is trying to hurry along is death? Makes me think what she did for her mother was something like changing bedpans…
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:29 pm rating: 8
#8
Kay
Merry fucking Christmas. Smoke yourself to death.
Although hilarious in its typed form, this is unfortunately common type of exchange between smokers and their loved ones. There is no acknowledgement or understanding that it is a powerful addiction. The addict often hides in shame. There is no offer of assistance to quit (“What can I do to help you?”), merely an offer of more shame as punishment. We have not come as far as we think in the compassionate treatment and understanding of mental health issues of since ’88 or ’58 or ’28 for that matter. It made me laugh, but then it made me sad.
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:30 pm rating: 33
#9
Odious
Well, at the least there are two obvious questions after reading this.
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:44 pm rating: 4
#10
dina
It’s actually very sad. Exasperation when someone you love won’t stop destroying themselves. Been there.
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:45 pm rating: 10
#11
Patti
Connie Corleone?
Nov 30, 2010 at 6:48 pm rating: 6
#12
smokers delight
I’m really curious about that last paragraph. What the heck does that mean?
Less important:
It’s typed!
Nov 30, 2010 at 7:05 pm rating: 2
#13
patr
$15.00 for a carton of cigarettes! That really would be a Christmas present!
Nov 30, 2010 at 7:20 pm rating: 11
#14
Sed
PS: Please smoke on the balcony – everyone’s apartment smells of cigarettes because someone is chain-smoking all day long. Please be considerate of your neighbours.
Nov 30, 2010 at 7:26 pm rating: 30
#15
sduck
My grandfather hid and lied about his smoking for years. But instead of confronting him about it, my grandmother pretended not to know. Her logic: as long as he continued to smoke in “secret,” he’d probably smoke less.
Today we call that enabling.
Nov 30, 2010 at 7:28 pm rating: 12
#16
Divvitar
I remember when I could get a carton of cigarettes for $15.00. Now, that’s the price of two packs! I’m so glad I quit 11 years ago! Maybe Aunt Connie donated a lung?
Nov 30, 2010 at 7:30 pm rating: 4
#17
MJA
The fact that the submitter found this while cleaning out “her grandmother’s old apartment” makes me wonder if she hadn’t outlived him after all?
Nov 30, 2010 at 7:38 pm rating: 30
#18
punkypower
You know what I got for Christmas? It was a banner year at the old Bender family. I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said “Smoke up, Johnny!”
Nov 30, 2010 at 8:07 pm rating: 50
#19
Canthz_B
Free cigarettes!! I doubt she even bothered to read the note in her excited state!
Nov 30, 2010 at 8:11 pm rating: 9
#20
BrookeDiz
“if you will return the empty I will buy you another”
I remember the good old days when cigarettes were $1.50, but I sure as heck don’t remember them coming in returnable or recyclable packs.
Nov 30, 2010 at 10:31 pm rating: 6
#21
Jason
that note is pretty hardcore.
Nov 30, 2010 at 11:19 pm rating: 4
#22
Mel K
I think the last para meant that she cared for her mum when her mum was dying and that the note writer refuses to go through that and whomever Connie is, she will be enlisted to help.
Too many childhood years of eavesdropping at the top of the stairs finally come to good use.
Dec 1, 2010 at 1:11 am rating: 11
#23
WMDKitty
That last bit sounds waaaaay too much like a death threat…
Dec 1, 2010 at 3:31 am rating: 2
#24
Grant
Aw! And grandma kept the note. There’s love for you.
Dec 1, 2010 at 4:15 am rating: 22
#25
divaandwriter
If they were cleaning out Grandma’s old apartment, it looks like she, the smoker, outlived Grandpa, the anti-romantic.
Dec 1, 2010 at 9:20 am rating: 4
#26
SqueakyWheel
I remember smoking with the family … sort of.
See, I started when I was 16, and my older sister was 17. Neither old enough to buy. But I’d always steal one of the two packs in her dresser drawer.
Come to find out, she stole two packs from the three in dad’s dresser drawer. Dad, in turn, stole three packs from the five in Grandpa’s desk drawer. Grandpa stole five packs from the ten in Grandma’s carton.
We finally stopped and fessed up when Grandma told us she thought she had Alzheimer’s, cause she didn’t remember smoking all of those cigarettes.
–
On a less light note (cause underage family smoking is so funny!), the note actually kind of exemplifies “PAN”. There’s no direct confrontation (ie, in person) about the lying and smoking. Just the “gift” and the note attached, with plenty of guilt.
Grandpa, whoever he was, obviously did care for her, enough to be hurt by her dishonesty with him.
Dec 1, 2010 at 10:30 am rating: 18
#27
paranoidandroid
$15.00 for 2 packets of cigarettes is hell cheap!! I’m a non smoker, but I have friends who smoke. One bought a carton last week and it cost $125…(australian dollars)…thats a weeks work of shopping for me!!
I also found the last paragraph a little too…creepy…sooo glad he’s not my husband!
and smokers, if you’re gonna light up, by all means do, just make sure you’re not right out side the entrance of shops or under a “this is a non smoking area” cos you’re gonna cop a mouthful from me. Neither me or my kids want to inhail your carcinogens.
Dec 1, 2010 at 11:15 am rating: 2
#28
pony girl
@27,
I have friends that smoke, and they don’t pay anywhere near that for a carton.
Next time I go to Australia, I’m bringing some cigs to sell, jeez.
Dec 1, 2010 at 11:56 am rating: 2
#29
April
This note reminds me of the old “In Living Color” skit where the too old people try to kill each other and then would be like “And we Still together!”
Dec 1, 2010 at 12:25 pm rating: 0
#30
Miz
You gotta love the fact that this guy is totally passive-aggressive in this note, she’s just sneaking ciggies, and yet people are using this to debate whether or not women who don’t like doors held open for them are bitches.
If the woman had written this, she would have been written off as a bitch, end of story.
Dec 1, 2010 at 1:55 pm rating: 10
#31
Somethingtosay
Haha.
Dec 1, 2010 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
#32
Kittymama
Oh, my goodness. Most family members who’d like a loved one to quit smoking have already tried everything, including helping. It’s one of the strongest addictions there is. So I figure this note follows all the years of everything else having being tried, and G’pa’s just at the end of his patience. That said, it cracks me up, and it also sounds a lot like my husband, who thinks everything should be fair.
Dec 2, 2010 at 5:28 pm rating: 3
#33
juniper
Well, I think we can safely say that the aggression in this one makes it some way past the passive mark.
Dec 4, 2010 at 6:19 am rating: 0
#34 Painful Honesty « Copywrite1985
[...] This Christmas, give the gift of honesty (passiveaggressivenotes.com) [...]
Dec 8, 2010 at 8:25 am rating: 0
#35
valerie
awww, this is actually really sad
Dec 25, 2010 at 11:40 am rating: 0
#36 How’s that for compromise? | PassiveAggressiveNotes.com
[...] related: Give the gift of honesty [...]
Nov 29, 2011 at 7:33 pm rating: 0
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