Entries from November 2010

On second thought…just keep it.

November 9th, 2010 · 53 Comments

Emily spotted this please in the bathroom of a women’s college dorm in New York City. (“I think the ‘women’s college’ portion is the imperative detail here,” she adds.)

Please give me back my razor. I understand if you can't afford to buy new razors; I can't either. (I've had to borrow razors from friends.) Besides which, the Venus razor you stole VIBRATES. Did you REALLY think I only used it for SHAVING? No joke. PLEASE RETURN IT

Meanwhile, I’m still a little suspicious of the fact that this person seems dead-set on getting this razor — a razor that has been presumably been used by someone else —  returned for her own use. I’m assuming it’s one of those replacable-head types, but even so, you still run the risk of come face-to-face with something like this — a Venus razor used by a roommate of Kayla in Tennessee:

If only there was an easy way to get Hepatitis C...

It’s hard to think of something less appropriately named after the goddess of love and beauty, no?

related: Enjoy the toothbrush!

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · bathroom · college life · hygiene · New York · stealing · Tennessee · that's unsanitary · TMI

Did you want a doggy bag for those leftovers, sir?

November 8th, 2010 · 72 Comments

Our submitter says this isn’t the first time her father has put up this display in his front yard…proving, I guess that some people will go through a lot of shit just to make a point. (Meanwhile, the neighborhood dogs and dog owners continue to go about their business.)

Thank you for leaving this for me. I really don't need it. Feel free to take it home for your own use.

related: Lost & Found

Tags: Chicago · dogs · shit · thanks (but not really)

The Impatient Pirate of Cornelia Street

November 7th, 2010 · 72 Comments

Jess found this amazing treasure trove of notes — beginning, middle, and (sort of) end — while walking down Cornelia Street in New York’s West Village.

I have misplaced an old, wooden chest.

$1000 REWARD FOR WOODEN CHEST!! WRITE DOWN YOUR NUMBER HERE! ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS TO WHOEVER HELPS ME! NO PRANKSTERS PLEASE!

Someone must have seen or heard something about a wooden chest recently!!

WHERE IS MY WOODEN CHEST!! SOMEONE HAS IT! I KNOW SOMEONE HAS IT. IT BELONGS TO ME. GIVE IT BACK

WHERE IS MY WOODEN CHEST? I AM LOSING MY PATIENCE.

MICHAEL CALVEZ I KNOW YOU'VE HAD IT ALL ALONG. YOU HAVE ONE DAY TO RETURN IT.

related: Rene’s letters, nothing but lies!

Tags: CAPS LOCK · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · saga · WTF?

He likes it with the lights on.

November 5th, 2010 · 36 Comments

For your typographical titillation: a Friday quickie from Liz in Portland…

When exciting [sic] the bathroom please leave the light on.

related: You turned me on and left me.

Tags: bathroom · double-entendre alert · energy usage · Freudian shit · Portland

I have a problem with your window manners

November 4th, 2010 · 109 Comments

At the time he received this note in his letterbox, Mike was living in Copenhagen, Denmark, where the apartments buildings tend to be rather close together. “My neighbor’s window is about 15 feet away from mine, across an alley,” Mike explains. “I can see her; she can see me.”

Though the wording of this note is considerably more polite compared to similar requests from other parts of the world, it still raised several questions in Mike’s mind. First of all, he says, “I have no idea how she knows I’m American. It’s not like I’m sitting in front of my computer, draped in an American flag.”

But more importantly, he wonders, “What’s the etiquette here? I thought this was just one of the quirks of urban living. You hear other people’s music, smell their cooking, and glimpse them through the window every once in awhile. I don’t really see why I should be the one to close my blinds and sit in the dark all day, since they’re the ones that have a problem with it.”

Well, what say you, peanut gallery?

Hello US Citizen! It's your neighbor speaking… I have a problem with your

Mike’s transcription: Hello US Citizen! It’s your neighbor speaking… I have a problem with your “window manners” — It’s quite problematic having you sitting in facel(?)-front many hours a day without making it cover or anything. I feel overlooked [Danglish for 'watched'] and compromised. XXX, Mel.

related: Be more private with yourself!

Tags: Clearly a non-native English speaker · Denmark · etiquette · neighbors · privacy · signed with love

And bad fences make bad neighbors?

November 3rd, 2010 · 51 Comments

At least three New Yorkers have independently spotted and submitted this sign in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn, so I figured it’s time to give it a proper showing. (Submitter Adam took several photos from a variety of angles, so you can a picture of the whole scene.)

This fence was installed to prevent my neighbor from destroying my plants!

Amanda also provided some color commentary. “The ‘plants’ in question are the small jungle encroaching from the right of the photo,” she says. “Honestly, without the sign, the property would have just looked abandoned. Now it looks more like the home of a crotchety hermit.”

THIS FENCE WAS INSTALLED TO PREVENT MY NEIGHBOR FROM DESTROYING MY PLANTS!

And our anonymous submitter, who happens to live less than a block away from these two houses, even did a little extra detective work. “I’ve tried and tried to find out the back story,” he says, “but so far all I have been able to find out is that the feuding neighbors are also brother and sister.”

I think that pretty much explains it, no?

related: Another example of Brooklyn’s seemingly unparalleled commitment to exasperated signage

Tags: Brooklyn · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · neighbors · siblings

Please, contain your excitement.

November 2nd, 2010 · 78 Comments

“My office just got a new style of paper which has caused quite the stir,” says our submitter in Seattle. “It’s made from forested trees, or something like that, so obviously we can’t wait to use it.”

THE OLD OFFICE DEPOT PAPER IS TO BE USED FIRST.

PS - Please use it mostly for printing signs about which paper to use first.

related: Nothing fosters community like shared network printers!

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · meta · Seattle · smartass