Entries from November 2010
While perusing the merchandise at the local dollar store, Josh in Columbus, Ohio spotted this signage near the shelf of the world’s skeeviest-looking condoms…which are apparently attracting the skeeviest of the Columbus area’s “stupid and sexually active” population.
As one Dooce commenter wrote, “Perhaps if you buy the dollar store condoms, you should just go ahead and grab a couple of pregnancy tests to save yourself a later trip.”
related: Don’t keep yourself warm with pre-marital sex or you’ll have plenty of heat IN HELL!
Tags: actually totally reasonable · Columbus · sex sex sex · stealing
Shortly after moving in to her new place in Minneapolis, Emily was greeted by this example of that famous “Minnesota Nice“ on a neighbor’s door.
related: Your are welcome to our home
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · irregular capitalization · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shoes · spelling and grammar police
Katrina‘s husband spotted this sign in the men’s room of his office in Roswell, Georgia, shortly before the boss ordered it taken down. (The “…or I will cut you” part of the manager’s removal directive was implied, obviously. Because that’s just how they do things around there.)
related: He’s disgusting AND he hates the environment!
Tags: cleaning · crazypants · disgruntled janitor · Georgia · irregular capitalization · most popular notes of 2010 · office · toilet
Our anonymous submitter didn’t catch the original note about “slaming [sic] the door,” but you can get a pretty good idea of what it said based on the carefully worded response from the recipient, John (who, like Dustin, simply isn’t aware of his own strength at times).
![Dear Sir or Madam: Hello. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I would like to offer you my most profound apologies for having slammed the door last night. I have to tell you that I honestly wasn't aware that I do this; I always thought that I used a normal amount of force when closing the door, although I have been working out lately. Please take me at my word when I now say that I will be more conscious of my door closing from here forward. However, in the event that you do have more problems with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to approach me directly, rather that resort to another hasty and quite confrontational handwritten note that, to be quite frank, had all the potential to be taken as offensive. I am sure that you will understand where I am coming from. Once again, thank you for your correspondence and I appreciate your anticipated co-operation. Most sincerely, John [Redacted] Apt. 108](http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4129/5163961619_39af8abcb7_b.jpg "Dear Sir or Madam: Hello. Thank you for bringing this matter to my attention. I would like to offer you my most profound apologies for having slammed the door last night. I have to tell you that I honestly wasn't aware that I do this; I always thought that I used a normal amount of force when closing the door, although I have been working out lately. Please take me at my word when I now say that I will be more conscious of my door closing from here forward. However, in the event that you do have more problems with me, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to approach me directly, rather that resort to another hasty and quite confrontational handwritten note that, to be quite frank, had all the potential to be taken as offensive. I am sure that you will understand where I am coming from. Once again, thank you for your correspondence and I appreciate your anticipated co-operation. Most sincerely, John [Redacted] Apt. 108")
Meanwhile, this note, as seen by Felix in Atlanta, was clearly left by a neighbor without a law degree.
(I’m guessing a dog; cats are way more passive-aggressive.)
![Dear Neighbor, Please, PLEASE stop by and say hello. We can clear this up right away without having to leave sneaky notes. Thanks! I look forward to chatting [Paw print]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2445/3777324196_b43abb47bc.jpg)
related: Door-slamming sign slam
Tags: Atlanta · Illinois · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · opening/closing · rebuttals · thanks (but not really)
Emily spotted this please in the bathroom of a women’s college dorm in New York City. (“I think the ‘women’s college’ portion is the imperative detail here,” she adds.)
Meanwhile, I’m still a little suspicious of the fact that this person seems dead-set on getting this razor — a razor that has been presumably been used by someone else — returned for her own use. I’m assuming it’s one of those replacable-head types, but even so, you still run the risk of come face-to-face with something like this — a Venus razor used by a roommate of Kayla in Tennessee:
It’s hard to think of something less appropriately named after the goddess of love and beauty, no?
related: Enjoy the toothbrush!
Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · bathroom · college life · hygiene · New York · stealing · Tennessee · that's unsanitary · TMI
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