Entries from December 2010
As it turns out, a lot of the notes that ya’ll liked best were more “aggressive” than “passive-aggressive.” (So, suck it haterz — the people have spoken!)
Which note would you choose as the most epic of 2010? Which notes should have been on the list, but aren’t? Cast your votes in the comments!
Mom’s passive-aggressive wedding gift
Dear Tooth Fairy
[Read more →]
Tags: most popular notes of 2010 · troublemaker's choice
“We are normally a 24-hour store,” writes our submitter in Portland, Oregon, “but we close early for Christmas.” At least one customer found this policy to be most unsatisfactory — as evidenced by the holiday greeting she left behind.
related: In case you’re wondering why we’re closed
Tags: Christmas · Portland · retail hell · smiley
In a brief moment of silence at a Christmas celebration, 7-year-old Madyson happened to let one rip. “We all laughed and told her to say ‘excuse me,’” says her cousin, Carrie in Detroit, but instead, the mortified girl ran out of the room. A few minutes later, she returned to fling this note in her family’s general direction.
Well, Madyson, you learned a valuable lesson this Christmas: parents are mean. But getting the hell out of Detroit? That’s actually not a bad idea. (Make a break for it now, and that passing of gas could be the best thing you never did!)
related: From the Mixed-Up Files of Joan Jett; When you can’t blame the dog
Tags: a little insensitive · Christmas · Detroit · family · flatulence · kids · p.s.
Writes Justin in Salem, Massachusetts: “It was the middle of the recent blizzard and we had gone for a drive in the worst of the weather (because that’s what you do for fun when you drive a Jeep) and decided to stop for a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts” (because that’s what you do for fun if you’re a New Englander).
Upon arrival, Justin and his companion were greeted with this heartfelt note of congratulations from the Dunkin’ Donuts snowstorm staff (Rick).
related: Dunkin’ Donuts Employee of the Month
Tags: "customer service" · coffee · driving · most popular notes of 2010 · signed with love · snow · xoxo · your/you're
So, has holiday time with your family got you reachin’ for the nearest bottle of Mad Dog yet? No? Well, then allow us here at PAN to help bring you back to the depressing world of real life.
Janet spotted this display by the side of the road in her “very small-town community” in Virginia. “I’m sure this person is known by some who will see the sign — maybe even the local sheriff,” she says. “At first I laughed, but then I thought it was just sad.”
related: Won’t somebody think o’ the ’possums?
Tags: actually totally reasonable · driving · drizzunk · garbage · public shaming · small town living · Virginia
So, I’ve been thinking about it (!) but I’m still not entirely clear about what type of eternal damnation Christmas-ornament thieves should supposedly be condemned. Perhaps some sort of Sisyphean untangling of Christmas lights?
One thing seems certain, however: no matter what your belief system, some type of divine retribution is in order.
Thanks to Wade in D.C., Jack in Santa Monica, and Emma in L.A. for their submissions!
related: Imagine…Christmas morning…You!!
Tags: Christmas · karma's a bitch · stealing · the po-po · you're like so going to hell
Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!
(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · coffee · Copycat · misplaced patriotism · office cop · toilet paper
Apparently, your mother does work at the Clemson University computer lab. Now take some responsibility for yourself, child!
related: These yogurts are expired. What should we do?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · not-so-veiled threats · oh snap · rebuttals · South Carolina · stealing
When men and women are forced to share a bathroom, our submitter in Philadelphia explains, “sometimes gentle reminders are needed to keep the household hygiene at an acceptable level.”
And as Meghan the intern discovered during a summer gig in New York City, sometimes those gentle reminders bear repeating at the office, too.
Tags: art · hygiene · New York · Philadelphia · soap
Says our submitter in Las Vegas: “My mom found this — my brother’s Christmas shopping list — while cleaning up the house before company came over. (Sandra is my sister-in-law.)”
Poor Sandra. She doesn’t even warrant a regifted Mongolia[n] BBQ hat from the office potluck?
related: Stuff this in your stocking, sister.
Tags: Christmas · family · WTF?