What your Facebook "friends" are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates

#1 Bea

I’m too busy to comment, but I really would have blown you away if I had time.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:37 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

Three cheers, man! And add to that all the status updates that read: “Need. Coffee.” Yeah, me too. And 1.5 billion other people who don’t feel the need to mention it.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:37 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#2.1 jason

And who can afford to “need” luxury goods.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:46 pm rating: 90
#2.2 tren

You realize some of the poorest countries in the world chug the stuff right?

or are you too buzy being offended for other people?

Dec 18, 2010 at 8:52 pm rating: 90
#2.3 Job

haha coffee costs pennies a cup to make. How is that a luxury good?

Dec 18, 2010 at 9:37 pm rating: 90
#2.4 red velvet

I think Jason is referring to the $5 cups of “coffee” most people “need” to get from Starbucks.

Dec 18, 2010 at 10:11 pm rating: 90
#2.5 Sean Jungian

Coffee isn’t a luxury item. Even pioneers brought coffee with them.

Dec 18, 2010 at 10:57 pm rating: 90

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#3 Resident Grammarian esq bang

Clearly one of those things that he has to do is waste time on Facebook, and bore everyone else with his problems. If that was on my to do list, I would have *too much to do* as well.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#4 AlittleofRosie

I usually just scream sentiments like that at the screen and then hide that particular post but this guy went the extra step. Bravo.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:40 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#5 cali

I soooo love this. I have to deal with a woman indirectly through work who I’m dying to say this to. She takes twenty minutes to explain why she’s too busy to do her part of the project we were co-chairing. This isn’t just a one time thing. It’s been going on for years and I have no choice but to work with her (boss’s relative). Lately I’ve been cutting her off and saying, “I have to go, sorry, can’t talk right now, too busy.” She doesn’t seem to like me anymore.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:43 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#5.1 Katrna

I had a coworker like this. One day I sent her an email, graciously saying that I would love to meet her for lunch some time to chat, but that I do not want to chat during work hours. She did not want to get together for lunch, and our relationship changed at work. It was perfect.

Dec 18, 2010 at 7:11 pm rating: 90
#5.2 Sean Jungian

Ha, my BOSS is one of these. Spends hours in my office freaking out and TRYING to tell me about how much he has to do and how much he has on his mind and how he didn’t sleep because he’s got so much on his plate and….

I just ignore him and he goes away eventually. God do I hate him. Failing his way to the top.

Dec 18, 2010 at 11:00 pm rating: 90
#5.3 Susannie

Oh, I know how that is. I have this one collegue who complains how she never has time to make all the phone calls that are awaiting. Argh, whilst you’ve been complaining, you could have returned two of the damn calls…!

Dec 19, 2010 at 6:51 am rating: 90

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#6 Canthz_B bang

I’m not fucking Busy Man, but I do his wife while he’s out running his many errands.

God help me, but I don’t know how she thinks up all those errands for him to do!

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:45 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#6.1 Wally

HA! That’s fantastic! I’d love to be in the room when the “busy” dude finally learns why he’s sent on so many errands!!

Dec 19, 2010 at 11:52 am rating: 90
#6.2 Canthz_B

I wouldn’t!

Dec 20, 2010 at 2:47 am rating: 90
#6.3 Britt

LMAO to funny!

Dec 20, 2010 at 3:35 pm rating: 90

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#7 jason

Hopefully this submission was also sent to the blog of unnecessary quotation marks.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:45 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#7.1 MJ

Why? Quotation marks were used to actually quote something, so they’re not unnecessary. The commenter did use asterisks for emphasis though.

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:16 pm rating: 90
#7.2 not jason

agreed. jason is an idiot.

Dec 18, 2010 at 6:49 pm rating: 90
#7.3 FeRD

Especially since he doesn’t seem to know that it’s actually the “Blog” of “Unnecessary” Quotation Marks!

Dec 19, 2010 at 5:48 pm rating: 90

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#8 dissipatedfog bang

Love it, love it, love it. How many times have I wanted to tell people to quit whining on every status update? A LOT but never have; this person is my hero.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:47 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#9 AmazonQueen

Here’s an idea…if people’s status updates annoy you so much, how about you DE-friend them..problem solved!

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:53 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#9.1 butt

There’s also a convenient “hide all posts by this person” button for this very reason.

If you don’t like what someone is posting then hide their posts.

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:11 pm rating: 90
#9.2 Yes butt

I agree, hiding the posts is a much better option. Prevents unnecessary, “Why are we no longer facebook friends” drama.

Dec 18, 2010 at 6:50 pm rating: 90
#9.3 Shotty

Yes if they bother you defriend them or hide their posts or ignore them. I don’t think ranting at someone like this is very appropriate. Maybe it was warranted, but maybe it isn’t. You would sure feel like a jackass though if he countered with “Well the reason I am so busy today is my mom just got admitted to the hospital” or something. I think the PA note in this one was even more annoying than the “I’m so busy” updates.

Dec 18, 2010 at 7:31 pm rating: 90
#9.4 ashmeadow

Hope springs eternal, AmazonQueen. You hope that one day your friends won’t be this pathetic, and you want to share in their joy, if they do.

Dec 18, 2010 at 11:38 pm rating: 90
#9.5 AlittleofRosie

Now you can hide JUST one post from a person instead of every one. It is very nice.

Dec 19, 2010 at 10:05 pm rating: 90
#9.6 The Elf

I’ve decided to just not have a facebook page. That way I don’t get to see annoying statuses and people will call/email/visit/use smoke signals if it’s really important.

Dec 21, 2010 at 10:46 am rating: 90

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#10 Becky

Ha, that’s brilliant. I have moany people on my fb feed but I’ve never thought to confront their moaniness….I just block them!

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:56 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#11 Becky

another thing that annoys me is those attention whoring ‘Well THAT was really uncalled for’ style posts that are aimed at a certain person in the most vague way possible, making all the friends of that person think ‘what have I done’?..I have a friend who is chronic for this, I’ve called her out on it to her face several times but she still does it. She is also one of those people that changes their picture every other day. Ah well. It’s only Facebook.

Dec 18, 2010 at 1:59 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#12 Avi

Way to go, this guy! Add to that the complainers of being sick or their children being sick ALL the time! Seek some medical attention already!
And the nap posts! An occasional post about an exceptional nap, or lack there-of, I can appreciate. But kids aren’t robots and will never sleep on a schedule so suffer in silence like the rest of us please.
It’s beyond me why people think their high school buddies want to know such intimate details about their day-to-day lives.
I do appreciate traffic complaints though!

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:00 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#12.1 Sean Jungian

May I direct you to STFU Parents? heh http://stfuparents.tumblr.com/

Dec 18, 2010 at 11:03 pm rating: 90

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#13 Really?

Block the god damn status updates from the people who bother you if it’s such a problem. Or yeah, whine on Facebook about people whining too much on Facebook. Are you people fucking retarded?

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:08 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#13.1 Patti

PA responder apparently isn’t that f….. busy either.

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:28 pm rating: 90
#13.2 shwo!

Or whine on PA Notes about people who whine on Facebook about people whining too much on Facebook. Are we meta yet?

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:33 pm rating: 90
#13.3 Canthz_B

What with #13.2 and #15.1, I’m getting dizzy…but it’s a good kind of dizzy!

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:49 pm rating: 90

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#14 Nahhh bang

Be grateful (if) the whiners on your FB list haven’t created multiple accounts so they can complain…multiply. I swear every day that I’m going to delete them from my list, but then I’d NEVER hear from my family.

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:10 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#14.1 Confused

I don’t get it. You have friends with multiple personality disorder?

Dec 18, 2010 at 6:52 pm rating: 90
#14.2 The Elf

Never hearing from your family is a bad thing?

Dec 21, 2010 at 10:48 am rating: 90

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#15 Gail

Does that comment qualify as passive-aggressive? I think it’s just plain aggressive.

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:14 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#15.1 Kerry

If you’re unsatisfied by the disclaimer in the subtitle of the website and still feel unbearably misled, feel free to log on to http://www.aggressivenotes.com/ instead.

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:19 pm rating: 90
#15.2 Canthz_B

You GO GIRL!!

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:26 pm rating: 90
#15.3 anglophile

Well played, Kerry. Well played indeed.

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:43 pm rating: 90

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#16 DanielMac

The people who actually DO have too much to do aren’t wasting time on Facebook. These are just the people who want everyone to admire their superhuman abilities to accomplish the everyday things that everyone else on their friends list manage to do without whining about it. I don’t tell people off for this, I usually just hide them in the feed.

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:29 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#17 kadijah

Apparently some of you have never heard of “hide all posts.” I think you should try it. It’s the menu that comes down from the little “x.”

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:39 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#17.1 Canthz_B

I think some people should try not “friending” people whose posts they need to hide…and stop adding “friends” who annoy them just to see their number of “so-called-friends” grow.

I think there’s an option to not accept friend requests somewhere, also (I hear) you can delete friends…when you have the guts to do so.

Dec 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm rating: 90
#17.2 Shotty

I am with Canthz. I only have 60 friends even though I am a facebookaholic. I post a lot and use it to communicate with everyone, BUT I only put people on there I really like or speak to regularly. I don’t put every random person I ever met on there. Especially people I have not seen in years and years. If you are on my list I am assuming you care about my daily life since we are actually close friends or close family.

Dec 18, 2010 at 7:34 pm rating: 90
#17.3 QuikLives

Thirded. I pretty regularly go through and delete folks.

Dec 18, 2010 at 8:10 pm rating: 90

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#18 Gladystopia

Well now, let’s not be too hard on Mr./Ms. BusyAllTheTime…after all, she didn’t say she’s busy NOW–she’s allegedly busy TOMORROW.

Which means she’ll only be posting every 15 minutes, instead of every 10.

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:48 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#19 Lenny!

I don’t know what the “friend” is complaining about. I love my fb feed being flooded by my dear fb “friends” who insist on posting every little detail of their lives. When they post about how they just had toast for breakfast, I go “aw that’s so cute!” When they post about deciding to go to sleep, I reply “wow I can’t believe you landed on such a hard decision. Way 2 go!” I just don’t get why everyone doesn’t share the same enthusiasm about fb that I do *sighs*

Dec 18, 2010 at 2:49 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#20 jessi

i have done the following status update: “it’s friday here too, dumbass. but thanks for telling us every week, lest we forget”

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:02 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#21 Canthz_B bang

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today instead of posting on Facebook.

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:27 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#22 Lisa

Oh, would I love to really say that to some people!

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:34 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#23 Tors

Ha ha ha! To all of the above! Loved Really?’s comment the most of all (Dec 18 2.08p) Homer voice: It’s funny cos it’s true…

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:36 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#23.1 anglophile

Most of us, however, aren’t too retarded to figure out how to reply to this comment.

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:46 pm rating: 90
#23.2 Canthz_B

That made me giggle(brax).

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:51 pm rating: 90
#23.3 Wow....

I hope that most of us don’t use “retarded” as a hateful term, like anglophile does. Disgusting.

Dec 18, 2010 at 6:54 pm rating: 90
#23.4 anglophile

Try reading (and comprehending, if that’s not too difficult for one of your mental capacity) the comment I was responding to, Wow….

Dec 18, 2010 at 8:58 pm rating: 90
#23.5 Canthz_B

Only a retard would think, Anglophile’s comment was offensive.

Dec 19, 2010 at 12:19 pm rating: 90
#23.6 Wow....

I hope you do not actually care for a person who actually has a mental disability. What you are doing is actually hateful. Do you also use “gay” as a synonym for “stupid”?

Dec 19, 2010 at 1:59 pm rating: 90
#23.7 Canthz_B

Why? Is your retarded ass gay as well as stupid?

Dec 19, 2010 at 2:36 pm rating: 90
#23.8 pony girl

Since when is retarded NOT a synonym for stupid. Doesn’t it mean someone with a low IQ?
Isn’t that stupid?

Maybe we should all just say moron. Would that make you feel better?
Wechsler IQ Test Ratings of Idiocy
Wechsler IQ test ratings identify those as idiots who score less than 70 points in a WAIS session. However, different thresholds are applied to classify mental retardation in the following five levels.

1- Profound Idiocy

Wechsler IQ test results identify those as profound idiots who score 1-10 points in WAIS IQ test scale. They can’t answer even a single question correctly out of 100000 items. They are viewed as suffering from profound mental retardation.

2- Severe Idiocy

Wechsler IQ tests classify those as suffering from severe mental retardation who score 11-25 points. They are considered severe idiots because they can’t answer more than one question out of 100000 items.

3- Imbecility

Wechsler IQ test ratings identify those as imbeciles who suffer moderate mental retardation. They score 26-40 points on Wechsler scale. Their mental age is considered no more than a child of five years old. They can’t answer more than three questions correctly, for an IQ test questionnaire of 100000 items.

4- Moron

Wechsler IQ test ratings identify those as morons who score 41-55 points on a Wechsler IQ test scale. Their mental development has stopped at the mental age of a child of 8-12 years old. They can answer less than 13 questions correctly for an IQ test questionnaire comprising of 10000 items.

5- Border Line

Wechsler IQ test ratings identify those on borderline who score 56-70 points on a Wechsler IQ test scale. They can’t answer more than two questions correctly for an IQ test questionnaire of 100 items. They are better than morons but still don’t qualify to be average.

I mean, sure, one wouldn’t say it to an actual retarded person, that would be cruel.

ps I’m pretty sure that this is a board where people make fun of others. Witticisms, satirical remarks and tongue-in-cheek comments are seen often here. As are wisecracks and edgy opinions.
If that is just too much for you, you may want to stick to the Highlights website.

Dec 19, 2010 at 4:01 pm rating: 90
#23.9 Wow....

Actually, as far as stupidity goes I would quantify you as a moron. However, if you actually had decent reading comprehension you would realize that I was using the word “gay” in that context as an example of microexpressions of hate. Tongue-in-cheek comments are different then being an asshole. Cheers.

Dec 19, 2010 at 5:28 pm rating: 90
#23.10 FeRD

Christ! It’s exhausting just reading you, “Wow…”. Such a transparently hollow facade of superiority, shored up by nothing more than heaping shovelfulls of unwarranted self-importance. It’s too much work. Just stop.

(Yes, I use “Christ!” as an exclamation of frustration. And I hope it makes somebody’s babymessiah fuckin’ BAWL. Hell is other people.)

Dec 19, 2010 at 5:42 pm rating: 90
#23.11 pony girl

@ Wow,

Bite me.

ps It’s than, retard.

Dec 19, 2010 at 6:42 pm rating: 90
#23.12 anglophile

OK, Wow. I see you are not so quick. I was actually quoting Really?’s Comment #13. You see, I was irritated by Tors’ idiotic comment and failure to nest his comment. I was disgusted that anyone could think that was witty. I was particularly scornful at the use of the word retarded, so I echoed it. I did it purposefully, and for a reason. Why don’t you go pick on Really? up there.

And yes, since you ask, I do care for someone who is retarded, although I suppose the current term of choice is autistic. My cousin. And no, I’ve never called him a retard. Get a grip, stop being so gay.

Dec 19, 2010 at 8:42 pm rating: 90
#23.13 oi

@Wow.
Way to prove yourself retarded, sparky!

Dec 20, 2010 at 8:46 am rating: 90
#23.14 Mary

Anglophile, austism is a whole other thing. I have a niece who is autistic who also happens to be a genius. (Not to say that a person with autism can’t also score low on the IQ scale.) What we say now is “intellectually disabled”. Which is pretty retarded, if you ask me. (Not that anyone did.) It’s like that George Carlin bit comparing “shell shock” to “post-traumatic stress disorder”.

Dec 20, 2010 at 9:32 am rating: 90
#23.15 IDIOTS

All of you are fucking retarded. End of discussion.

Dec 20, 2010 at 9:42 am rating: 90
#23.16 anglophile

I wasn’t clear, Mary. My cousin was originally labeled retarded. He lived with that label for thirty-some years before he was also diagnosed with autism. I don’t call him retarded or autistic, I call him Steve.

Dec 20, 2010 at 11:02 am rating: 90
#23.17 Yikes...

Calling him Steve is pretty fucked up, too. His name is Evan, for the millionth time!

Dec 20, 2010 at 12:26 pm rating: 90
#23.18 anglophile

ZOMG!!! U dont no my cuzin!!!11!!!11

Dec 20, 2010 at 2:34 pm rating: 90
#23.19 Mary

Got it, anglophile. Thanks for clarifying.

Dec 20, 2010 at 2:37 pm rating: 90
#23.20 Sirius¤

I thought society had progressed to the point where we weren’t using “retard” any more. I guess not. Just to bring everyone up to speed, politeness-wise, it is not acceptable to refer to developmentally disabled persons as “retards” anymore.

The proper term is “Trigs”.

Dec 20, 2010 at 2:39 pm rating: 90
#23.21 Canthz_B

Why would anyone use “gay” to mean “stupid” anyway? Don’t we use “gay” instead of “fag/fruit/fudgepacker”?

So hard to keep up these days.

Dec 20, 2010 at 11:19 pm rating: 90
#23.22 FeRD

CB!

That is all.

Dec 21, 2010 at 3:42 pm rating: 90

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#24 anglophile

My super-busy Facebook whiner is also my mommy-to-my-precious-baby rhapsodizer. I don’t block her because I think someday I’ll have a good submission for STFU Parents.

Dec 18, 2010 at 4:49 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#24.1 pony girl

How, oh how did I know that this person is a mommy-to-my-precious-baby rhapsodizer?

I didn’t want to be rude and assume, but, HA! I freaking knew it.

Yes, nobody is ever as busy as those mommies. Even if you yourself are a mommy, well, your children just don’t live the hectic life that her children do.

Dec 19, 2010 at 3:50 pm rating: 90

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#25 Llama

Hahahaha, nice.

I love the ones who choose to enumerate their many burdens. “Today I have to do [insert 8 boring tasks]!” I swear to God, they just do it to tempt someone to come alone with 9 boring tasks so they can have an “I’m The Busiest One Ever” showdown.

Dec 18, 2010 at 6:02 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#25.1 Na

Right. And you know that if they were REALLY busy they wouldn’t have time to update facebook at all!

Dec 18, 2010 at 9:36 pm rating: 90

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#26 gwan

My official least favourites of the “I’m so busy” crowd are the people who post things along the lines of “Damn, invited to 5 parties this week when all I want to do is relax at home with a glass of wine :(“. Wow, we’re all really impressed that you’re both awesomely popular and too cool to care.

Dec 19, 2010 at 3:52 am rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#27 The Poster

Haha I was the guy who made the original post. I can’t believe this has been dug up after two years. WOW. Still just as busy, but don’t really have the inclination to put it on facebook now
There is actually quite a bit of a story behind this too, but that can wait for another day

Dec 19, 2010 at 4:18 am rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#27.1 KJS

Did you READ the above comments? You were basically massacred and yet you’ve just admitted to pride of ownership.

I have nothing against your status update, free speech and all that crap, but really, guy? Really?

Dec 19, 2010 at 9:15 am rating: 90
#27.2 the Librarian

Are you too busy today to tell us the story behind it?

Dec 19, 2010 at 12:48 pm rating: 90
#27.3 FeRD

Huh. “Asking for it”, Librarian? Really?

And here I was going to point out that it could also wait until, like, never.

(In my experience, any story that’s teased with “there’s a funny story, which I won’t relate now [because I have to work out exactly how it’s actually funny, first]” has already been terminally overhyped.)

Dec 19, 2010 at 5:46 pm rating: 90
#27.4 the Librarian

Ah, no. I just meant that he’s obviously still a very, very busy man. Too busy to tell us the hilarious and, no doubt, fascinating story.

Dec 20, 2010 at 11:00 am rating: 90
#27.5 Canthz_B

So glad that story can wait for another day. Hopefully, that day is March 3, 2167…because I’d die to hear it.

Dec 21, 2010 at 5:05 am rating: 90

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#28 The Poster

@KJS – I can see how it can be whiny but, I’m still amused at the other persons giant rant. This was the final year of my media degree, and we were all pretty busy with finals etc. I went back through my facebook and found that I had only made a few posts like this – just seems the other party were a bit sensitive

@ the Librarian, no no – just having a relaxed day.

I’m just amused at all the hype surrounding this – my take on it is, if you don’t like someones status updates, just hide their posts – simple

Dec 19, 2010 at 4:30 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#29 Pilgrimchick

I think we all know someone whose updates on Facebook leave us thinking something similar. A sign of the lack of originality inherent in humanity.

Dec 19, 2010 at 7:38 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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#30 Moxie

I don’t know. I don’t take my friend’s facebook statuses that seriously to get upset about them. I guess I just take for granted that facebook is their outlet to vent a little.

The only things that bother me are vague messages that I might respond to jokingly only to be informed later that it was of a serious nature.

Dec 21, 2010 at 1:18 pm rating: 90 small thumbs up

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funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people

What your Facebook “friends” are all secretly thinking about your whiny status updates

December 18th, 2010 · 91 comments

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