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You’re just not getting it, Sugar

December 19th, 2010 · 77 comments

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

The trashcan isn't that far away! Quit leaving this mess EVERY DAY! Throw it away! Love, The 2nd floor

Seriously! Stop leaving this here! Throw this away!

Really!?!? Come on!!!

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:


related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

FILED UNDER: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons

77 responses so far ↓

  • #1   pony girl

    Maybe it’s performance art?

    Dec 19, 2010 at 5:22 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Pterosaur

      The first one seems like a devious psychological experiment. Leave out the exact same mess everyday and see who snaps first. It looks like Ms. Napkin Note is leading the race.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 8:53 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #2   PABrit

    A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. But napkin lectures, with a spoon, some fake sugar, and some PA? They mean war in the break room.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 5:23 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #3   lagne

    Dude.. I’m alllllmost on Team Napkin Lecturer. I simply cannot understand why there is ALWAYS coffee/creamer/sugar shit dried up and scattered around the “coffee area.” Does drinking coffee automatically preclude you from cleaning up spills, dribbles, coffee rings, and white coffee-related powder?

    But at least I write it anonymously on a website instead of on napkins. That’s better, right?


    (slinking back into my coffee-free cave)

    Dec 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 35  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   red velvet

      Coffee drinkers would argue that they’re not awake enough before their first cup of coffee to notice, but they don’t seem to realize that they’d have more energy overall if they weren’t so dependent upon a brew to spruce them up every damn day.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:21 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   lagne

      Seriously. And yeah, the whole “I’m not awake enough to notice the mess” bullhonkey… If I have to be awake enough at 8 am to not trudge down my office hall leaving a trail of piss behind me, Coffee Drinkers don’t a free pig pass, either.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 4:15 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   The Elf

      If coffee drinkers aren’t awake enough to notice / clean up the mess, do you really think they’ll be awake enough to care about the note?

      Dec 21, 2010 at 10:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #4   FeRD bang

    Huh. I normally show my burning desire for cancer by making out with bald-headed kids down in the pedes wing at the local hospital. (That’s how you catch it, right?) But I suppose I could try their crazy sweetener idea.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 5:31 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   IDIOT


      Dec 20, 2010 at 9:43 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   anglophile

      I disagree. I chuckled a bit. But then I’m the kind of person who goes around calling people retarded in the pejorative sense, so take my opinion with a pinch of saccharine.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:08 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   red velvet

      I laughed, and then I gasped at the making out with kids comment, and then I laughed again.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:22 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   divaandwriter bang

      This comment is not only assinine, it is insensitive in the extreme. Childhood cancer is nothing to make flippant remarks about.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:54 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #4.5   clumber

      I neither laughed nor gasped, but everything is something to make flippant remarks about. It’s called not coming to the party pre-offended.

      Didn’t like it? So what? Move along.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 3:41 pm   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #4.6   lagne

      Please submit your complaint in writing. On a napkin.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 3:53 pm   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #4.7   Auntybron

      What so offended Idiot? The fact that the kids were hospitalized cancer patients or that they were jailbait?

      Dec 20, 2010 at 5:52 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.8   I hope that

      I hope that all of the people here who have supported that posting, or the person here who made the original post, have their own children get childhood cancer.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 7:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.9   Squilax

      Hey, I hope my kids get cancer too. I’m tired of cleaning up after the little buggers.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 7:33 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #4.10   lagne

      Get OVER it, hypersensitive people. You’re here for PC, intellectual discussion?

      Sounds like a couple grumpies need some coffee.

      And nice, to wish cancer on someone. So much more noble than making a cancer joke.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 9:46 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #4.11   Canthz_B bang

      Seems to me there are a lot of things that aren’t funny…that’s why we make jokes about them.

      Even kids with cancer know how to laugh.

      Take a lesson from them, IDIOT and I hope that.

      As the father of a kid with cancer, leprosy, rickets, cerebral palsy, hemophilia, sickle-cell anemia, and really bad halitosis, I can say with authority that I laugh at the little sucker all the time!

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:09 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #4.12   infanttyrone

      Jumpin’ Jiminy, Rickets ?
      CB, of course all the other afflictions are simply the result of
      poor lifestyle choices, but really, man…laughing at rickets ?
      Chris Rock’s tag line comes to mind, “That’s just mean!” :-)

      Dec 21, 2010 at 1:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.13   Canthz_B bang

      True. The kid is really good on horseback…gotta give him that. ;-)

      Dec 21, 2010 at 4:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.14   Russian

      Ooh, there’s some anger and self righteousness here. Anyone who doesn’t like jokes about children with cancer, please cite your reference that NOT making the jokes stops them getting cancer.

      Dec 21, 2010 at 6:53 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.15   Canthz_B bang

      Humor about cancer is a carcinogen…just Google it. ;-)

      Dec 21, 2010 at 7:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.16   se

      @CB, “the kid is really good on horseback”. Does that mean he makes a really good saddle?

      Dec 21, 2010 at 9:35 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.17   The Elf


      Dec 21, 2010 at 10:30 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.18   anglophile bang

      Well, I don’t have any kids to even get cancer, I hope that, if that is your real name. Thanks so much for bringing up a really painful topic. :|

      Dec 21, 2010 at 1:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.19   FeRD bang

      OK, wow. I finally made it back here to see all this.

      AWESOME! :)

      I can die happy now, after having set off that epic thread.
      (Must remember, for the future: “cancer-kids == GOLD!”)

      Dec 21, 2010 at 3:40 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.20   Russian

      You’re right, FeRD! I must bring it up in mixed company over Christmas.

      Also, seeing that today is clearly state the obvious day, did anyone here no cancer’s not actually contagious?

      Dec 21, 2010 at 4:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.21   Russian

      KNOW. Argh. sp. fl.

      Dec 21, 2010 at 5:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.22   WMDKitty

      Cervical cancer IS contagious — it’s mostly caused by HPV infection.

      Dec 21, 2010 at 10:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #4.23   Canthz_B bang

      Get vaccinated though, and you can go wild!

      Dec 22, 2010 at 12:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.24   Russian

      just like AIDS though, you can’t get it just from making out with kids!

      Dec 22, 2010 at 4:40 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.25   Canthz_B bang

      Well, technically, the HPV virus which can cause cervical cancer is contagious…not cervical cancer.

      Cancers are not contagious diseases or conditions in and of themselves just because a potential carcinogen is contagious. ;-)

      Dec 23, 2010 at 1:26 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.26   Russian

      It just occurred to me that maybe IDIOT way up at the top was being ironic, rather than meaning what they said. Maybe I’m right, maybe i’m wrong, maybe everyone else spotted it ages ago and i’m way late to the party. But anyway, IDIOT, care to come back and clarify?

      Dec 24, 2010 at 1:42 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #5   LULZ

    That artificial sweetener was fucking delicious.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 5:33 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   AuntyBron

      Seriously? That’s stuff is nasty! My dog accidently ate some once and then licked his butt to get the taste out of his mouth.

      Dec 19, 2010 at 6:45 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   pony girl

      Thus, sadly, giving himself butt cancer.

      Dec 19, 2010 at 6:48 pm   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   se

      yes, Auntie, then he licked your mouth to get the butt taste out of his mouth

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Auntybron


      Dec 20, 2010 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   Janellionaire


      Dec 23, 2010 at 3:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, but only if she got it by licking her own butt.

      Now I have to dig that old poster out and picture that!! I wonder if that would muss her hair? :-P

      Dec 23, 2010 at 3:46 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #6   Jen

    Man, I feel the pain of the first three note-writers. People at my work are always leaving sugar packets beside the coffee machine. And the trash can is literally right beside the table where the coffee urn is. As a black coffee drinker, I find it somewhat unsavoury to have to clear up other people’s sugar and coffee whitener leftovers.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 6:19 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Limeliberator bang

      Coffee service is a privilege, not a right. I wouldn’t bother to clean it up. Eventually, they’d figure it out. I guess that’s why the “Your Mom Doesn’t Work Here” sign is so popular.

      Dec 19, 2010 at 9:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   red velvet

      Lime has it right. Don’t clean up after them, let management notice what they’re doing. You don’t add anything to your coffee, so you won’t have anything to worry about.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   pony girl

    I’m surprised that nobody has taken the opportunity to cross out ‘these’ and replace it with ‘ me’.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 6:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #8   Amber

    …I can understand the annoyance since I get stuck cleaning up the break room at work…but took more time to write that note then to just throw the napkin with all the crap on it away…

    Dec 19, 2010 at 7:30 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Limeliberator bang

      Good point…

      Dec 19, 2010 at 9:05 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   dissipatedfog bang

      Throw a person’s trash away and the counter is clean for a day, teach a person to throw their own trash away and the counter is clean forever.

      Dec 19, 2010 at 11:11 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   Canthz_B bang

      Three “teachable moments” squandered on someone who rode the short bus to work.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 12:13 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   divaandwriter bang

      If you know who is leaving the mess every day, you can always put the stuff on the person’s desk with a note saying, “I believe this belongs to you.”

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   Sean Jungian

      Throw a person’s trash away and the counter is clean for a day, teach a person to throw their own trash away and you’ll get a person making comments about your sanctimonious condescension AND a dirty counter ever day.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 10:27 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #9   Anon

    The person making the mess probably isn’t even seeing the messages. I imagine they’re there in the morning and then cleaning throws out the note at the end of the day.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 7:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #10   Pilgrimchick

    Confirmed cluelessness. Sad.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 7:39 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    News to note-writer:

    Your napkin notes take up more space than my spoon and sweetener wrappers.
    Who’s supposed to clean up after you?

    Dec 19, 2010 at 10:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    I’m sick and tired of this crap!!
    Who keeps stealing my plastic containers?!?!

    Signed, B-3

    Dec 19, 2010 at 10:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #13   molly moon

    I think my favorite part about the whole thing is that the person has been told not to do this and they did it again. Is the note writer a ninja? is the mess maker a ninja? am i a ninja?

    Dec 19, 2010 at 10:37 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Really?

      Yes to only one of your questions, and I won’t tell you which… because I am a ninja.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 8:22 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   red velvet

      Upon reading this comment, I became a ninja.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:24 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   wright1

      How un-ninja like. The real ninjas are never so clumsy as to reveal ourse… wait a minute.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 7:11 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   47of74 bang

    At my place of employment there is often a plastic spoon sitting on top of a paper towel. The overnight person has the idea that we should use a communal spoon to stir our coffee. She actually gets upset when they get thrown out. I refuse to use a communal spoon, especially in the middle of cold/flu season.

    Dec 19, 2010 at 10:50 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   nunavut guy bang

      There goes my communal toilet paper idea.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:29 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #15   Kate

    Am I alone in being concerned by the waste that is created by plastic spoons and individual sachets of sugar?
    If real teaspoons and a bag or canister of sugar was used there wouldn’t be as much mess.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 8:00 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   23423

      Also the waste of the napkin to leave the note.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 9:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Rattus

      No, you’re not alone, but apparently using a travel mug and a metal spoon is an awful lot of work judging by the comments of those looking upon my morning beverage preparations with a mixture of amazement, consternation and contempt.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   red velvet

      But if they used real teaspoons, the note writer would have to resort to writing notes about how people need to wash their own damn dishes.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 11:26 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #16   Pterosaur

    I never understood the need to sweeten coffee. Coffee is supposed to taste like the bitter incineration of black despair, not candy. If I wanted a sweet, creamy delight, I’d make cocoa.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 8:48 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Mary

      But I LIKE candy-coffee. I get a caffiene buzz and a sugar buzz in one handy serving.

      Dec 20, 2010 at 9:11 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #17   oi

    The first one is hilarious! It superficially looks like NW keeps writing and the Mr. mess keeps ignoring. What actually going on is: there is a third person who removes the note as well as mess silently before the messy guy ever sees those alarmingly increasing in number of exclamation points notes. May be this incognito guy has a mission to drive NW crazy with his silent social service. He is smiling to himself somewhere close by.
    I would not blame him. I can just imagine Nw’s control freak nature around the office based on that arrow through the heart clip art in the first note.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 9:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Sean Jungian

      It actually looks to me as though Mr./Ms. Mess-Maker is purposely trying to put the notewriter over the edge of sanity. P/A Actions!

      Dec 20, 2010 at 10:30 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #18   Divvitar

    Listen shitbag, I’m diabetic, and I wouldn’t get cancer from these sweeteners if I ate a crate of them! Next time, more Splenda and less Sweet ‘N’ Low, because saccharine is so dated.

    – B-3

    Dec 20, 2010 at 7:33 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   se

      I gave you a thumbs up, even though I prefer Sweet’N'Low to Splenda. If you ate a crate of either in any short time, I don’t think you’d have cancer to worry about.

      Dec 21, 2010 at 9:40 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #19   liddy

    wow, mr/ms notewriter would need psychiatric intervention if they ever saw the microwave in my workplace. Take that mess and multiply it on a grossmeter times ten-thousand.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 5:42 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   The Elf

      But is the unused microwave time cleared? That’s what really matters.

      Dec 21, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #20   The Elf

    I think Note-Writer #1 is missing a key point. All three mess-leavers are all different people. Coffee drinkers are attached to their routine, and that includes their sweetener of choice. An Equal person isn’t just going to switch over to Sweet-N-Low, and a two-packet drinker won’t take one sip of one-packet coffee. (Well, unless they are really desperate). Napkin Note Writer assumes they are all the same by the escalation in tone. That won’t work, Napkin Note Writer. Two Equals never even noticed, One Equal is wondering what the fuss is all about, and Two Sweet-N-Lows is a little offended that you freaked out over one little lapse.

    (For the record, I’m a one pack of Splenda gal. And I clean up after myself. Because it’s my desk.)

    Dec 21, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #21   pony girl

    They’re probably diabetic.

    ps I think you may mean am not have

    Dec 21, 2010 at 9:32 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #22   WMDKitty

    Jesus CHRIST, I’m disabled, and I manage to clear up my coffee mess…

    Dec 21, 2010 at 10:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Janellionaire

      Don’t you mean dis-capable? Wait, that’s not right, is it?

      Dec 23, 2010 at 3:45 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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