76 responses so far ↓

• #1   The Great Joe Bivins

  Ah “shit in bag”, that is of course what the rarely-spoken-of Fourth Wiseman, Steve, brought for the infant savior.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 3:44 pm   rating: 53  
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  • #1.1   aquapt

    Or was it the three Wise Men and Steve, their Wise Ass?

    Dec 20, 2010 at 6:24 pm   rating: 15  
     

  • #1.2   park rose

    Wise guy.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 3:34 am   rating: 3  
     
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• #2   April

  How old is the person who wrote the note I wonder?

  The handwriting is not great but then again I am 30 and have shit handwriting so that doesn’t mean much. This Christmas list leaves many questions really.

  What did Sandra do?

  Is he buying is Albany parents a house?

  Why does he have two sets of parents?

  What the hell does “religious” mean as a gift?

  I could go on…

  Dec 20, 2010 at 3:48 pm   rating: 15  
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  • #2.1   Candy

    I think he’s saying “Aldana and Aldana’s parents”.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 4:33 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #2.2   Phizzle

    Mom-something religious
    Aldana Parents-House (tv show on DVD)
    He doesn’t have two sets of parents. He is buying something for Aldana’s parents, even though (s)he gets nothing. Probably an in-law whose parents are actually cool.
    Please do go on, this is fun AND easy!

    Dec 20, 2010 at 4:37 pm   rating: 16  
     

  • #2.3   Sarah K

    I left this note with the exact same questions. The age of the writer is strangely hard to judge. The fact that their mother found the note suggests that there’s a possibility the writer is young. This also goes with the handwriting style.

    On the other hand, what age of a kid chooses sh*t in a bag as an acceptable gift, right along side getting someone else’s parents a house?

    If this IS an adult, then I seriously want to get on his good side. Cause, apparently, if he really likes you, you practically win the lottary!

    Oh, and as for Sandra….Maybe he really doesn’t like potlucks?

    Dec 20, 2010 at 4:46 pm   rating: 3  
     

  • #2.4   April

    Phizzle: Yeah my husband thought it would be “House” on DVD too. That makes more sense. I see the Aldana’s parents thing now too.

    This note likes reveals something else each time I look at it.

    Okay is Carola and Aunt Carola the same person?

    Who is “kid” and whom does “kid” belong too? Also I wonder how old “Kid” is because unless “kid” is 5 or older they are not going to know what t0 do with a gift card. Makes me wonder if the person writing the note is also a “Kid” I wonder the age difference?

    This note just has so many levels. haha

    Dec 20, 2010 at 5:06 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #2.5   Canthz_B

    Um, not “House” on DVD…something for their house is a much more logical assumption to make than a TV show (pretty sure Phizzle was joking. April and her husband are a match made in Slow Lane Heaven, bless their hearts. Always interesting to see what people like them wonder about.)
    I’m guessing he’ll settle on a Chia Pet, or some other “As Seen On TV” item.

    “What the hell does “religious” mean as a gift?”
    How about a crucifix necklace? Rocket science. I know. It’s hard.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 9:41 pm   rating: 7  
     

  • #2.6   park rose

    Well, how old is Oprah? House, car, trips to Australia, diamond pendants – it’s all small change to her, and her generosity is legendary. Only, don’t cross her. Don’t believe me? Just ask Sandra.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 3:37 am   rating: 6  
     

  • #2.7   April

    I guess this concept is foreign to me because that is not how I shop for people. I don’t blindly go out with general ideas of what to get and wander aimlessly around stores till I find something that fits that notion. I hate shopping so I know exactly what I am getting before I go in, head straight to what I am getting, then buy it and get the hell out of the store.

    So yeah the whole some random housewares and some random religious gift does seem foreign to me. I also am not a huge gift person because I figure if I don’t know you well enough to know just exactly the perfect present for you then I really shouldn’t be getting you a present in the first place.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 7:13 am   rating: 8  
     

  • #2.8   Canthz_B

    Moth to a flame.

    The note lists ideas about what types of gifts someone may like, not necessarily specific gifts. He’s not going out blindly. He’s developed a clear plan on what type of gift to get each person. He just needs to find the appropriate gift (within that framework, his pre-selected criteria) for each person now.

    You honestly live life clueless, huh?
    Good luck with that…really, but please stop voting. If you can’t understand a Christmas list, you shouldn’t be deciding who runs the country…just saying, that’s a pretty good rule of thumb to go by.

    The joke is Sandra’s “shit in a bag”.
    Jesus Christ on a cracker! You’re dumb, but at least you now know what to get Sandra, so squat and sing “Jingle Bells”!

    Dec 21, 2010 at 7:26 am   rating: 13  
     

  • #2.9   The Elf

    I thought House DVD too, but only because I thought “Religeous / Religious” referred to Maher’s “Religulous”. It explains the spelling.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 10:16 am   rating: 4  
     

  • #2.10   April

    Whatever dude. Two other posters admitted to thinking it was “House” DVDs too. I don’t see you attacking them though.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 12:30 pm   rating: 6  
     

  • #2.11   April

    What is it with you and voting and telling people not to vote?

    So are you honestly going to advocate against voting rights for all citizens? Wow…… Yes, let’s go back to only property owners and males being allowed to vote. Or go back to where black people’s votes only counted for a portion of a vote that a white person’s vote counted for. Why the hell not?! Might as well. CB has declared it so.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 12:34 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #2.12   Sirius¤

    For the record, I agree with 3/5 of what CB said.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 1:04 pm   rating: 17  
     

  • #2.13   itzpapalotl

    I guess CB forgot to remove her holiday tampon. Why are you being so harsh, And for the record, I’m pretty sure it is “House” on dvd. He has a couple of other specific gifts on the list, and everyone knows household items are the lamest gifts ever. Your post is bad, and you should feel bad.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 1:49 pm   rating: 10  
     

  • #2.14   Sirius¤

    Well I guess you told her, Mr. itzpapalotl!

    Dec 21, 2010 at 2:46 pm   rating: 7  
     

  • #2.15   H for Toy

    They have special tampons for the holidays?!

    Dec 21, 2010 at 3:32 pm   rating: 4  
     

  • #2.16   Canthz_B

    April, Black people’s votes have NEVER counted for less than a white person’s vote.

    Better re-read American history…a little knowledge about the subject may help you when you go out to vote for King.

    I didn’t mess with the other two because it reads like they were messing with you (sarcasm, look it up), not agreeing with you…except the third one I’m about to address (maybe dress down? yeah, I guess I will)…

    itzpapalotl, I guess you think “BBQ” is a specific gift and he’s gonna gift them each an order of spare ribs from the local “shack”.
    Maybe, since the list says “House” not “House DVD”, he plans on getting them Hugh Laurie!
    You’re pretty sure it’s House on DVD, huh? I’m 100% sure you’re wrong.

    Now, just for fun mind you, this from Comment 9.1 below (drum roll please…):

    “Her parents were in the midst of a move- he meant “housewares”

    (rim shot! slam dunk! STFU!…and I’m a guy, dumbass)

    Damn, that was “fun AND easy”.

    Do morons always travel in pairs?
    Sure do…they use the buddy system.

    @Sirius…#2.12 = Perfect.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 8:23 pm   rating: 5  
     

  • #2.17   Seen Enough

    April, you are clearly an idiot. You should stop commenting because you don’t have a clue.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 9:01 pm   rating: 5  
     

  • #2.18   anglophile

    I wouldn’t mind finding Hugh Laurie under my Christmas tree. Just sayin.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 9:22 pm   rating: 14  
     

  • #2.19   Canthz_B

    You make my last-minute shopping very difficult, ‘Glo.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 9:30 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #2.20   itzpapalotl

    Canthz & Sirius: Well you guys seem pretty intelligent, so I guess you could figure out that since I was going with the tampon joke and Canthz is being catty today it would only make sense to say you are being a woman, You know, to add to the effect. But… I guess I was wrong! Oops!

    And “Toys R Us card is kinda specific

    Seriously though. Get over yourselves. It’s just the internet. Happy Holidays folks!

    Dec 22, 2010 at 2:26 am   rating: 3  
     

  • #2.21   Canthz_B

    Nice try.
    If it’s just the internet, why did you feel compelled to shove a tampon up my ass here? Because you thought I was some woman you could intimidate, that’s why.
    If you’re a woman, you should be ashamed. If you’re a man, you should be (and probably are already) shunned by all women.
    You could have read the posts and stayed above the fray (because you’re better than that). But now, after joining the fray and looking stupid for it, it’s just the internet? You’re full of shit, got called on it, and backpedaling out like mad.
    That’s what you get for hitching your wagon to an idiot.

    Yes, there were some specific gift ideas…and some generalities. You can’t point to one without recognizing the other.
    We’re not talking about the Toys R Us card. The issue is whether or not “House” was specific enough to decide if it means the TV show or a more general term.
    Don’t make yourself out the fool (let me do that), you know this, I’m sure. You chose the wrong side and were flat wrong (April’s married, you have no chance no matter what gender you are, or how low your standards).

    You wouldn’t be the first to make the gender mistake when it comes to “Canthz_B”, suck it up.
    Don’t try to back-fill, because that BS doesn’t work around here. Most folks here are pretty bright. We aren’t falling for it.

    Try to know wtf you’re talking about before you attack next time or you’ll crash and burn again.

    Dec 22, 2010 at 2:38 am   rating: 4  
     

  • #2.22   The Elf

    Wearing nothing but a big red bow, right Anglophile? Uh, huh. I’m right there with ya.

    Dec 22, 2010 at 7:23 am   rating: 1  
     

  • #2.23   Canthz_B

    GOT HIM, ‘GLO!!!

    “Hold still, Hugh! It’s just a bow for Goodness sake, and she’s gonna rip it off really fast!!”

    Dec 22, 2010 at 8:41 am   rating: 4  
     
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• #3   Jen

  At the risk of being a buzz kill, I don’t think Sandra’s getting a bag of crap. I think her brother’s bought a bunch of things for her (aka “shit”) and it’s sitting in a bag somewhere waiting to be wrapped.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:23 pm   rating: 43  
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  • #3.1   RigaToni

    You have far too much faith in humanity.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 4:25 pm   rating: 42  
     

  • #3.2   VerityBrown

    That was my assumption as well. But this list certainly lends itself to some strange interpretations.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 12:02 am   rating: 2  
     
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• #4   KG

  Haha, this is eerily similar to my Christmas list. Mom – Religious. Translation = mom is religious so just buy her some Jesus crap.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:35 pm   rating: 19  
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  • #4.1   Sirius¤

    A sack of Jesus crap.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 1:06 pm   rating: 9  
     
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• #5   Kim

  Aldana gets nothing? But, her parents get a new house?

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:40 pm   rating: 1  
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  • #5.1   itzpapalotl

    My train of thought exactly. At least Sandra is getting acknowledged. He hates Aldana so much that shit in a bag is too good for her.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 1:51 pm   rating: 4  
     
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• #6   danno

  I usually go with the more traditional 2 lbs. of shit in a one lb. bag, but that’s just me I’m old school.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:42 pm   rating: 10  
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• #7   punkypower

  He’s probably banging Aldana and thinks that that is gift enough.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:44 pm   rating: 25  
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  • #7.1   The Elf

    Oh no! I thought the “dick in a box” gag was dead!

    Dec 21, 2010 at 10:18 am   rating: 2  
     

  • #7.2   Aapje

    Scat in a box?

    Dec 21, 2010 at 11:04 am   rating: 1  
     

  • #7.3   The Elf

    Scat in a sack?

    Dec 21, 2010 at 2:12 pm   rating: 0  
     

  • #7.4   pony girl

    Sac ‘o Scat!

    I think they have that at the Piggly Wiggly.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 4:57 pm   rating: 1  
     

  • #7.5   Canthz_B

    Personally, I like a nice box lunch!

    Dec 22, 2010 at 12:33 am   rating: 4  
     
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• #8   QBALL

  How did she even make the list, I mean he must have been thinking about something, bag o shit is nice but let’s make it interesting, super huge mastif poo in a gunny sack wrapped in condom wrappers with a feminine napkin sting tied around it. But that’s just me

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:47 pm   rating: 2  
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• #9   Indie

  This looks like the shopping list of a 22 year old. That is my final answer.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:51 pm   rating: 36  
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  • #9.1   Smithers355

    Ding ding!!! This was my brother’s list from last year & yes- he was 22. My mom was doing some of his laundry & I guess this fell out. I couldn’t stop laughing! For clarification- our Mother is Catholic & Mexican, so yay for Jesus! Aldana was his girlfriend (now broken up- so I guess “nothing” was a prudent gift) Her parents were in the midst of a move- he meant “housewares”, our sister & our Aunt have the same name & $660 was the amount he was spending, the “kid” is my 10 year old neice & he really fucking hates our sister in law, and was galled by the fact that he had to get her anything in the first place. This year we drew names- he didn’t get her….

    Dec 20, 2010 at 8:08 pm   rating: 34  
     

  • #9.2   anglophile

    So you’re Barb, then?

    Dec 20, 2010 at 8:42 pm   rating: 0  
     

  • #9.3   Smithers355

    That’s me!! I got $$$… But not really. More like $..

    Dec 20, 2010 at 9:47 pm   rating: 32  
     

  • #9.4   Shalindria

    And Sandra is?….the sister in law?

    Dec 21, 2010 at 9:11 am   rating: 0  
     

  • #9.5   Smithers355

    Yup. Married to our brother- Nick.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 11:58 am   rating: 1  
     

  • #9.6   *snerk*

    Here I was thinking Sandra was the list-brother’s wife. So expected to hear that this list was either from when they were young enough that she could have a crush on him, and he was still in the “girls are gross” stage, or came from the Christmas immediately preceding their divorce.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 12:53 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #10   Pterosaur

  Ah, sweet romance.

  “Here’s yer shit, darlin’. I put it in a bag fer ya an’ everthin’! Merry Christmas!”

  Sorry, ladies. He’s taken.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 4:53 pm   rating: 10  
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  • #10.1   park rose

    It’s a big job taking on men of that calibre. Not sure if Sandra can handle it.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 3:43 am   rating: 3  
     
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• #11   Melissa

  I feel like “shit in bag” is man-speak for lavender sachet or bath salts or something.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 6:14 pm   rating: 30  
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  • #11.1   berge

    I think you’re right, but it’s still pretty funny.

    Thank you note reads:

    Dear husband (or possibly brother-in-law),

    Thank you for the bag of shit. I used it in the bath last night and I feel very refreshed. You are a very thoughtful husband (or brother-in-law) and I look forward to more shit in the future.

    Thx,

    Sandra

    Dec 20, 2010 at 6:28 pm   rating: 13  
     
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• #12   Ed Decatur

  The list was written by the submitter’s brother, and Sandra is the submitter’s daughter-in-law. So is Sandra the list-maker’s wife?

  How soon will the divorce be final?

  Dec 20, 2010 at 6:16 pm   rating: 1  
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  • #12.1   berge

    I had to make a diagram to figure out the relations in this family. There could be other siblings, but I think Sandra being the note-writer’s wife is the best, and most hilarious answer. But if brother (note-writer) is the husband, why would he have the list at his mom’s house?

    Dec 20, 2010 at 6:26 pm   rating: 3  
     

  • #12.2   bec

    Because despite being married (or not) he still lives at home with his mother.

    I want to know what the significance of “while cleaning up the house before company came over” is. I am sure there is a passive aggressive, hidden meaning in there somewhere.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 7:08 pm   rating: 3  
     

  • #12.3   The Elf

    Diagram? I just figured this was one of those families where the family tree is more of a vine and let it go.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 10:22 am   rating: 0  
     
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• #13   Ed Decatur

  I can’t imagine what the “660,” centered at the top of the list like a title, could signify.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 6:18 pm   rating: 1  
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  • #13.1   MaceElaine

    Before I actually read the blurb, I assumed it was a Scrabble scorecard, though “shitinbag” probably doesn’t net you a lot of points, unless you’re on a multiplier square.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 6:34 pm   rating: 2  
     

  • #13.2   bec

    List review “660″ It took many reviews to come to the final decision that Sandra was getting Shit in Bag, he was going to give it to Barb but thought $$$ was more appropriate.

    Dec 20, 2010 at 7:17 pm   rating: 2  
     
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• #14   Divvitar

  Hey, my mom’s name is Barb. Where is her $$$?

  Dec 20, 2010 at 7:28 pm   rating: 1  
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• #15   Canthz_B

  Dad and Nick both appear to be into Big, Beautiful Queens!

  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  Dec 20, 2010 at 9:46 pm   rating: 4  
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• #16   Sonja

  I want to know what Aldan’s parents did to deserve a house.

  Dec 21, 2010 at 3:58 am   rating: 0  
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• #17   TippingCows

  Where’s the backwards R? There are no single quotes in the official logo, either. I am so disappointed. Also, I want a house for Christmas.

  Dec 21, 2010 at 5:26 am   rating: 1  
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  • #17.1   Canthz_B

    TC, I didn’t even know you were homeless!

    Dec 21, 2010 at 5:42 am   rating: 0  
     
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• #18   liddy

  wow, I was planning on giving Sandra a bag of shit. That totally ruins it for me. Now what can I get the woman who has everything????

  Dec 21, 2010 at 6:05 am   rating: 8  
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  • #18.1   clumber

    Antibacterial soap seems like an easy answer….

    Dec 21, 2010 at 7:58 am   rating: 6  
     

  • #18.2   Madrias

    Maybe soap loaded with bacteria instead?

    Dec 22, 2010 at 8:51 pm   rating: 0  
     
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• #19   H for Toy

  Just a plain old bag o’ shit? C’mon! It’s Christmas! Everything’s more festive with flame!

  Dec 21, 2010 at 10:01 am   rating: 8  
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• #20   divaandwriter

  I wonder why Aldana gets nothing and Barb gets money.

  Dec 21, 2010 at 1:23 pm   rating: 0  
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• #21   spoko

  Has no one else considered, given the vagueness of some of the other items, the possibility that “shit in bag” refers to some stuff (colloquially, “shit”) that he has already purchased, and that he has in a bag somewhere obvious?

  Dec 21, 2010 at 2:55 pm   rating: 1  
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  • #21.1   Kayla

    Yes, actually. Jen (#3) considered it.

    Dec 21, 2010 at 3:50 pm   rating: 1  
     
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• #22   nathan

  Poor Aunt Carola gets Jack!

  Dec 23, 2010 at 4:44 am   rating: 1  
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• #23   tuesy

  I also have a SIL named Sandra that’s a total bitch. What’s with that name? (apologies in advance to all Sandras who are not bitches.) It never occurred to me to give her a bag of shit for Christmas, though. Clearly I should have been aiming higher with gift ideas..

  Dec 23, 2010 at 6:11 pm   rating: 0  
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• #24   shit in bag (explanation, I think)

  Shit in bag… I bought this for a friend as a gag/Christmas gift. It’s actually chocolate in the shape of a huge dog turd. Here’s a link to a photo of it.

  http://www.indulgeinchocolate.com/doodropchocolate.html

  Hopefully that’s what he meant?

  Dec 30, 2010 at 11:49 am   rating: 0  
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• #25   JC

  Does he work at a barbecue shop, or something…?

  Jan 5, 2011 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  
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