Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!
(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)
43 responses so far ↓
#1
Russian
I like that the eagle is drinking a nice steamin’ mug of joe. Very American. Or Russian perhaps.
Dec 22, 2010 at 2:18 pm rating: 4
#2
lulz
The toilet paper, gumballs and coffee were fucking delicious.
Dec 22, 2010 at 2:40 pm rating: 4
#3
Humid Hockey
Handling china with talons is some chore, let me tell you.
Dec 22, 2010 at 2:57 pm rating: 14
#4
Mike
I do find the “threat level” sign amusing.
Dec 22, 2010 at 2:59 pm rating: 20
#5
Quite Contrary
*Coffee pot* threat level? Try chances-of-being-taken-down-by-disgrunted-and-most-likely-in-a-bad-marriage-and-career-slump-and-getting-no-sex-middle-manager threat level.
Dec 22, 2010 at 3:02 pm rating: 18
#6
Caleb
LMAO!
This is awesome!
I want a threat level indicator for my coffee pot, but I have a keurig.
Caleb
Dec 22, 2010 at 3:18 pm rating: 5
#7
Divvitar
Signs like these are indicative that the terrorists have already won. This is the -ism of the early 21st Century. Following on the heels of Colonialism, Imperialism, Fascism and Communism.
Dec 22, 2010 at 3:24 pm rating: 1
#8
Nahhh
I need a CAUTION: CONTAINS HOT LIQUID sign to wear on my back. I, like that coffeemaker, have a threat level that rises in direct proportion to the lowering of my coffee content.
Fuck you, Terrorists!
Dec 22, 2010 at 4:13 pm rating: 4
#9
berge
Terrorists that spit gum in urinals and don’t change the toilet paper roll – now THAT’S passive aggressive terrorism!
Dec 22, 2010 at 4:22 pm rating: 12
#10
Andi
Someone needs to put up a sign “Every time you wave the goddamn flag the terrorists win.”
Dec 22, 2010 at 4:44 pm rating: 14
#11
I hope that
I hope that TSA is checking all men for gum. Seriously, they could be terrorists planning on spitting it into the urinals. Bastards.
Dec 22, 2010 at 5:17 pm rating: 7
#12
aaa
I can’t take that coffee pot threat level seriously unless it includes blackwatch plaid. If you don’t have a proper threat level system in place, the terrorists have won. Do you hate America?
Dec 22, 2010 at 7:52 pm rating: 4
#13
molly moon
Since when did it become popular to be patriotic? I thought it was cool to be a terrorist. Crap, well I guess I know now
Dec 22, 2010 at 7:55 pm rating: 1
#14
cali
Let’s face it, we’re all fucking terrorists if we don’t tow the right wing line. Or if we don’t make coffee, if we throw gum, if we don’t change the tp, if we’re not squeaky clean and tidy white and Christian. It’s the catch phrase of the decade. Thanks Georgie Boy, look what you started you douche.
Dec 22, 2010 at 8:46 pm rating: 12
#15
Divvitar
I think the color scheme for threat level should be a bit more metro-sexual. Beige for idle chatter, Taupe for slightly more pointed chatter, then Chartreuse, Mauve. No more yellow, orange and red either! They are to be replaced with Lemon, Tangerine, Rose, Scarlet and Crimson!
Dec 22, 2010 at 9:56 pm rating: 4
#16
Canthz_B
Every time you say “The Terrorists have won.”, the Terrorists win.
Dec 23, 2010 at 12:35 am rating: 10
#17
Who? Me?
#1 thru #3 might seem clever the first time I saw them, but would soon annoy the heck out of me if I had to see them often. To the point of me passive-aggressively ripping them down when no one was looking.
#4 would make me chuckle every single time. Bloody brilliant that one is! I’d even make a fresh pot of coffee while I was at it. I don’t think it’s PA myself – it just uses humor to get the point across.
But as someone who lacks a Y chromosome, I MUST TELL YOU that I am greatly disturbed to learn … guys spit gum into urinals?
Have I led a sheltered life? Is this a common phenomenon, or merely a problem that happened to occur at a particular establishment?
And might I add: Ewww!
Dec 23, 2010 at 1:19 am rating: 4
#18
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
SNORT! These gave me a good laugh . . . and contemplation of the consequences should they appear in my workplace . . . .
Dec 23, 2010 at 8:23 am rating: 0
#19
g
No-one ever wins ‘the game’, haven’t you heard?
Dec 23, 2010 at 8:59 am rating: 1
#20
Rob O.
I definitely need to post #3 in our breakroom to combat the dirtbags who leave just a sip of coffee in the bottom of the pot.
Dec 23, 2010 at 9:09 am rating: 0
#21
Cooky
To Lisa in Utah — You aren’t allowed to have coffee. I have contacted your Bish and he’s pulling your Temple Recommend.
Dec 23, 2010 at 11:20 am rating: 4
#22
FeRD
Do not let the terrorists win. It will damage the elevator.
Dec 17, 2011 at 2:53 pm rating: 1
#23
Gaia
Love how it would be the opposite in UK and quite a few other countries. “If you hate USA, please do your dishes”.
May 10, 2013 at 9:58 am rating: 0
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