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Roadside intervention

December 26th, 2010 · 53 comments

So, has holiday time with your family got you reachin’ for the nearest bottle of Mad Dog yet? No? Well, then allow us here at PAN to help bring you back to the depressing world of real life.

Janet spotted this display by the side of the road in her “very small-town community” in Virginia. “I’m sure this person is known by some who will see the sign — maybe even the local sheriff,” she says. “At first I laughed, but then I thought it was just sad.”

Nancy [license plate number] - Put your wine bottles in a trash can - not here! Don't drink + drive!

related: Won’t somebody think o’ the ’possums?

 

FILED UNDER: actually totally reasonable · driving · drizzunk · garbage · public shaming · small town living · Virginia


53 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Greg

    Wait a minute… a woman named Nancy with that license plate number threw out her Mad Dog 20/20 bottles by the side of the road? And she was called out for it via road sign? That’s fantastic… and should be filed under “actually totally reasonable” as well as “righteous comeuppance.”

    Dec 26, 2010 at 9:08 pm   rating: 68  small thumbs up

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    • #1.1   KS

      Jeeze- she’s even resorted to vanilla extract. This one’s a winner.

      Dec 26, 2010 at 9:45 pm   rating: 31  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.2   pony girl

      That’s a license plate!
      Okay, that makes more sense.
      I thought it was her last name, couldn’t understand why only part of it was blocked.

      Guess I’ve been hittin’ the vanilla extract too much.

      Dec 26, 2010 at 10:49 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.3   Sonya

      I thought it was because the ZZA was clearly the funniest part of her last name.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 12:06 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.4   Mace Elaine

      I agree, though I doubt I would frequent a site called “actually totally reasonable notes.”

      Dec 27, 2010 at 1:24 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       

    • #1.5   April

      I agree. Don’t litter bitch and also don’t drink and drive. I am always picking up beer cans out of my yard down by the road and I am like “WTH!?”

      Dec 27, 2010 at 10:42 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #2   shwo! bang

    If she doesn’t drink and drive, how’s she supposed to get her bottles to the trash?

    Dec 26, 2010 at 9:58 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

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  • #3   AlittleofRosie

    Yeah, I thought it was sad until I pictured some drunken skank mowing down an innocent family in her automotive death missile. AA is free.
    What I don’t get is that if someone was going to all of that trouble to make a sign, why didn’t it say “WE JUST CALLED THE POLICE, YOU VANILLA EXTRACT SWILLING, DRUNK DRIVING LUSH!”

    Dec 26, 2010 at 9:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

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    • #3.1   WMDKitty

      AA is also a mind-control cult that should NEVER be promoted. Especially via the criminal injustice system, as that is a direct violation of the First Amendment. (AA scores 10 on 15 of the 18 criteria on the Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Frame)

      I say let her drink and drive — then sue the living fuck out of her, her family, the police, AND the court system (for not stopping her/locking her up) when she inevitably injures or kills someone.

      Dec 26, 2010 at 11:08 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.2   Mace Elaine

      Yes, except that still requires her to kill someone.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 1:23 am   rating: 35  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.3   WMDKitty

      Better than taking away her first amendment rights by forcing her into a mind-control cult disguised as a recovery program.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 1:28 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.4   Roo

      So you’re volunteering to be the one she mows down, then?

      Dec 27, 2010 at 2:45 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.5   jadefirefly

      Kitty – It’s totally okay to feel strongly about something.

      It’s not really all that okay to wish for innocent, uninvolved people to die just to spare someone else from the thing you dislike. That’s kinda uncool.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 2:59 am   rating: 61  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.6   Canthz_B bang

      Funny thing, lot’s of stats about how many accidents involved a driver over the limit, but NONE as to who was at fault in those accidents.
      Not advocating DUI, just saying that if some sober soccer mom runs a stop sign and crashes into a drunk driver, that accident is included in the drinking related accident stats.

      Food…and drink for thought.

      AA, is a cult. You just have to meet someone in it to know that.
      One more drink and you’ll die? I don’t think so. ;-)

      Dec 27, 2010 at 8:03 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.7   The Elf

      AA debate aside, A Little Of Rose has a good point. There are resources out that she could use. Even if she didn’t want/was unable to address her drinking problem, she could surely address her driving problem. DUIs are so preventable! Arrange a ride, drink at home, arrange to sleep somewhere else, take a taxi, use public transportation, utilize SoberRide and other programs, etc. There’s pretty much no reason to get drunk and drive.

      CB, I get what you’re saying there, and I do think there are some drivers I’d trust drunk over others sober. Still, it’s been repeatedly demonstrated that intoxication makes you drive worse than you would normally. I think it’s a good guess that any given accident involving a drunk driver was at least partially the fault of the drunk driver. Not a given, but damn good odds.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 10:09 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.8   April

      CB is right. Sometimes the drunk driver was barely buzzed and over the ridiculously low limit and driving just fine. Then if someone else drives stupidly and causes an accident somehow it is the drunk driver’s fault. I don’t really see that as being fair.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 10:44 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.9   oi

      It is better to kill an innocent person who does not indulge into alcohol at the expense of the others then to say trying to stop the person who indulges into alcohol at the expense of others. Yeah.
      Just wanted to see how exactly she feels by spewing out total and utter crap at us. I thought I would get high or something.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 12:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.10   Pizzle Stix

      The problem with suing the f–k out of her is, judging by her choice of beverages, she might not have a pot to piss in. I have a friend who was hit by a drunk, VERY drunk (think the guy blew 0.28 at the scene) driver who had the bare minimum liability insurance. My friend spent weeks in the ICU, had several surgeries, spent weeks in rehab, didn’t work for over a year, and has double vision in one eye. The settlement offered by All-St@te was bullshit and now he has hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills still unpaid. NOTHING for his pain or suffering, and the driver who hit him (oh yeah was his 3rd DWI offense) spent less than 3 yrs in prison. That’s justice and that’s why I say I hope this drunk bitch kills herself before she hurts anyone else.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 1:54 pm   rating: 32  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.11   se

      yes, count me as cult oi,
      and pizzle is right on with that last sentence

      Dec 27, 2010 at 1:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.12   WMDKitty

      @Roo — No, I’m not.

      @Jadefirefly — Anyone stupid enough to walk into the path of an oncoming car deserves what they get. Besides, a murder charge will get her locked up for life; problem solved.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 5:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.13   park rose bang

      Some of my best friends are cult members. Thank God. Not sure which one, though – deity that is, not friend.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 8:48 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.14   Michelle

      WMDKitty: “Anyone stupid enough to walk into the path of an oncoming car deserves what they get.”

      Yeah, those hit-and-run victims really get all the breaks, it was about time someone took them down a peg. I mean, fuck them for having the audacity to cross the street, amirite?

      Dec 28, 2010 at 9:15 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.15   Mary

      WMDKitty, I’m curious. Which 15 of the 18 criteria do you believe AA scores 10 on? I’m just not seeing it. Dogma? Sure. The rest of it? Pfffftttt…..

      Dec 28, 2010 at 9:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.16   oi

      only 4+? Does that mean people (of course who have not commented so…) agree that killing an innocent guy is better option than the putting alcoholic to AA, (cult or not, that is irrelevant, issue here is to wait until somebody is killed!?)
      Now I would not be surprised if Sarah Palin wins the next election.
      @pizzle Stix,I know we are on the same team but I have to say this. Even if the justice system was immaculately fair it is still not ok for some innocent guy to be killed/seriously injured by somebody stupid enough to drink and drive.

      Dec 28, 2010 at 10:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.17   oi

      wmd you are stupid plain and clear.

      Dec 28, 2010 at 11:08 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.18   The Elf

      Very few murderers get life. (And even fewer get death). If you consider that Nancy would not have malice aforethought, so it couldn’t be first degree murder, it is even less likely that she would get life. If Nancy does mow somebody down in a drunken haze and she kills them, she’s not really looking at a whole lot of time. How much would vary on the state, prior offenses, and even on the judge within that state.

      Right or wrong, that’s the system.

      Dec 28, 2010 at 11:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.19   Grace

      Sad but true. My brother was killed by a drunk driver who only served 10 months. And it was not the guy’s first offense.

      WMDKitty, it’s not as simple as suing the “family, the police, and the court system.” In fact, that statement alone tells me how out of touch with reality you are. Then again, I’ve lurked long enough to know that you’re not known for your rational nature.

      Dec 29, 2010 at 2:18 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.20   Canthz_B bang

      WMDKitty, you do know that a maimed victim of a drunk driver will compete with you for parking, right?

      Maybe you should lobby for separate special needs parking due to illnesses as opposed to those in need of special needs parking due to injury. Heck, make a separate distinction for those injured by their own fault as opposed to those injured by the fault of another. :-P

      Dec 31, 2010 at 5:21 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       

    • #3.21   lagne

      WMDKitty, please tell me you’re 13 years old.

      Dec 31, 2010 at 9:44 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
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  • #4   zenvelo

    MD20/20- the Four Loko for old folks

    Dec 26, 2010 at 10:09 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

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  • #5   A Fox

    Observation: There are 6 bottles of MD, one a day Mon-Sat, and 2 bottles of vanilla extract for Sunday (when you can’t buy alcohol in some states).

    Dec 26, 2010 at 10:35 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

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    • #5.1   pony girl

      eeeewwww.
      That is just sad.

      But, maybe she had a really traumatic experience while baking oatmeal cookies when she was litle, so now, the only way she can get through it is to get wasted before baking those yummy oatmeal cookies for the family every Christmas.

      Dec 26, 2010 at 10:47 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       

    • #5.2   bowloftoast bang

      She can’t see anymore, but she smells like a million bucks.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 3:36 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
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  • #6   Kel

    The best part of this PAN is that MD 20/20 is referred to as wine!!! Clearly this sign-maker has never actually tried this stuff, as it doesn’t even remotely resemble anything that might actually taste like WINE! (trust me, I know from a few bad past experiences from my high-school days when the only way we could get “alcohol” was to purchase it from the dirty old man at a convenience store in the ghetto area of town)

    Dec 27, 2010 at 2:13 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #6.1   QWERTY

      Kel, I’m afraid this stuff in in fact wine. If you zoom in on the picture, underneath the MD 20/20 lettering, it clearly says ‘red grape wine’. I’ve never had MD 20/20 but I’m guessing that this is fortified wine which tastes somewhere between wine and spirit and would easily contribute to bad high school experiences!!

      Dec 27, 2010 at 4:51 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #7   Other Julie bang

    Thanks to my husband experiencing nostalgia for his underage drinking days during a trip to the liqour store, we purchased and split a bottle of Mad Dog about a year ago. It was cheap (2.50) and wasn’t the worst-tasting alcoholic beverage I’ve ever consumed. We actually bought it with the intention of bringing it to our buddy’s cabin and drinking it while sprawled on the pontoon and never brought it with us. Given that it was so dirt cheap and not completely terrible this is a scene that will likely play out at some point.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 7:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    That MD 20/20 was fucking delicious!
    That she put her wine bottles on a tea-totlers lawn was fucking priceless.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 8:18 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

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    • #8.1   The Elf

      Ooooh, nice twist there on the usual F-D comment. You may avoid Woman On The Verge’s wrath with that…..

      Dec 27, 2010 at 10:11 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       

    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      *bow taken, thanks given*

      Dec 31, 2010 at 5:28 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
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  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Never drive after drinking MD 20/20. Take the Night Train instead. You can ride in Southern Comfort all the way to Boone’s Farm.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 8:23 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

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    • #9.1   Mo®

      It is faster to take the Thunderbird!

      Dec 27, 2010 at 12:39 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       

    • #9.2   Canthz_B bang

      Mo, that’s White wine! LOL :-D

      Dec 27, 2010 at 11:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #10   Kellyn

    I find it extremely disturbing that someone would refer to MD 20/20 as ‘wine’… or vanilla extract, for that matter. YIKES.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 8:25 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

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    • #10.1   Canthz_B bang

      Then don’t call people “winos”, ’cause that’s one drink of choice with them. :lol:

      Dec 27, 2010 at 8:35 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
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  • #11   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

    Now, now. We don’t know if Nancy was driving drunk. For all we know, she may be guilty only of littering.

    Maybe the empties were Mr. ZZA’s. Maybe Nancy was merely sick to death of kicking them around the living room.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 8:26 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

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    • #11.1   Canthz_B bang

      Litterbugs are worse than drunks! Drunks are fun. :lol: +1 to you!

      Dec 27, 2010 at 8:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       

    • #11.2   Zsa

      Hey you never know- maybe she is driving a drunk Mr. ZSA and his back seat full of Mad Dog to the next party.

      …not that it has ever happened to me…

      Dec 27, 2010 at 9:17 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
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  • #12   H for Toy bang

    What they don’t tell you is that, before this sign was painted over, it read “Bumble County Recycling Center”, which is why all the bottles are stacked so neatly.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 10:01 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

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  • #13   Nunavut Guy

    How drunk could she be?She managed to toss those suckers from a moving car and have them land in a passably straight line.

    My vote for athlete of the year.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 4:52 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

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    • #13.1   Nunavut Guy

      A lot like curling come to think of it.

      Dec 27, 2010 at 4:58 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
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  • #14   Non-Mommy

    This is sad, but if this is such a small community, and it is clear that there is a problem, how come she is still out driving around??

    Dec 27, 2010 at 9:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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  • #15   Divvitar

    Is Mad Dog 20/20 really wine anyway? You have to be a really desperate drunk to drink that swill. There are a lot of better choices for the “Alcoholic on a Budget:” such as Boone’s Farm, Box ‘O Wine or Gallo.

    Dec 27, 2010 at 10:43 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

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  • #16   GhostWriter bang

    I used about six bottles of Mad Dog to whip up a banquet-sized tray of Chicken Marsala for Christmas dinner.

    Dec 28, 2010 at 10:10 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

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