In a brief moment of silence at a Christmas celebration, 7-year-old Madyson happened to let one rip. “We all laughed and told her to say ‘excuse me,’” says her cousin, Carrie in Detroit, but instead, the mortified girl ran out of the room. A few minutes later, she returned to fling this note in her family’s general direction.
Well, Madyson, you learned a valuable lesson this Christmas: parents are mean. But getting the hell out of Detroit? That’s actually not a bad idea. (Make a break for it now, and that passing of gas could be the best thing you never did!)
related: From the Mixed-Up Files of Joan Jett; When you can’t blame the dog
55 responses so far ↓
#1
Cyclotron
Well, that… *sunglasses* …stinks.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Dec 28, 2010 at 9:48 pm rating: 19
#2
Marcy
She’s only 7? Imagine the drama when she’s around 13.
Dec 28, 2010 at 9:50 pm rating: 25
#3
Turd Ferguson
first fail
Dec 28, 2010 at 9:56 pm rating: 0
#4
Tim
That’s hilarious!
Dec 28, 2010 at 10:31 pm rating: 1
#5
RigaToni
She should have gotten the eff out when she realized her parents named her “Madyson.”
Dec 28, 2010 at 10:42 pm rating: 74
#6
SB
Yep, agree completely with RigaToni. I’ll be happy when all variants of “Madison” finally die away completely (and pretty much every other current name that ends in -son or -den).
Dec 28, 2010 at 11:13 pm rating: 22
#7
Nahhh
If the kid didn’t fart, then who did?
Are there barking spiders in Detroit?
Dec 28, 2010 at 11:21 pm rating: 2
#8
Divvitar
This just in, here on FOX News Network: A young child, Madyson, 7 years old, shockingly set up by Obama and his leftist minions. Falsely accused of passing gas on Christmas! Now what red, white and blue-blooded American who loves pie, pizza and Jesus would cut one on Christmas? Obviously, the Obama team is at it again; piping in rude noises and foul smells into private, God-fearing, American homes. This is a brazen attempt to deflect the American People away from their enjoyment of this Christian holiday. Now back to more fascist oligarchy posing as neo-conservatism.
Dec 28, 2010 at 11:41 pm rating: 49
#9
farcical aquatic ceremony
Poor girl. This is tootally one of those episodes her family will never let her forget. Much like a bad smell, this story’ll hang in the air through years and years of roasts and mashed taters. “Are those brussels sprouts cooking–OR JUST MADELYN???? BWA-HAHAHAHAHHHH.”
*sniff*
Dec 29, 2010 at 12:01 am rating: 11
#10
Canthz_B
I like Madyson. She stands up for herself. One could even say she has a certain air about her.
Dec 29, 2010 at 3:05 am rating: 35
#11
Canthz_B
Later that night, Madyson packed some clothing, her favorite Barbie, her hand-held video game and a bottle of Beeno, and quietly slipped out into the darkness.
The authorities were called and an Amber Alert was issued.
She’s safely back at home now, the dogs had no problem picking up her scent trail.
Dec 29, 2010 at 3:17 am rating: 33
#12
AC
I respect her for the use of “you are” instead of the typical “your” used by idiots everywhere.
Dec 29, 2010 at 6:16 am rating: 19
#13
Nunavut Guy
You blamed me when I didn’t fart. All the great killer air biscuits I floated were credited to grandpa.An artist can only take so much.
Dec 29, 2010 at 8:41 am rating: 7
#14
Canthz_B
On a positive note, their Yule Log would have gone out were it not for Madyson’s selfless contribution of a little natural gas to the cause.
Dec 29, 2010 at 9:08 am rating: 3
#15
hehe
The good thing about having a dog is that you can fart and blame it on the dog.
Dec 29, 2010 at 10:52 am rating: 1
#16
Rahm
Here in Detroit, running away is for quitters. I personally like this town, in all its gritty awesomeness, and the scary reputation is part of it!
It only smells bad Downriver. And south of the Ohio border…
Dec 29, 2010 at 11:06 am rating: 11
#17
Buckeye
Pop-up ads that you can’t get rid of?
Fuck off!
Is that P-A enough for you?
Dec 29, 2010 at 11:36 am rating: 3
#18
Randy
Madyson, your parents suck agreed. Since when cant a little girl shit her pants?
Dec 29, 2010 at 5:26 pm rating: 2
#19
Mel K
It would be a nice Christmas if my husband would run away when he farts, or just run away and then fart. He blames it on all of the appetisers that go with Christmas, but has no excuse for the rest of the year.
Dec 30, 2010 at 3:29 am rating: 4
#20
Grey
Wow. Insulting the town of your submitter, and implying her family should want to get the hell out? What if they like it there? Some do.
The note had nothing to do with Detroit. Why should your summary?
Classy.
Dec 31, 2010 at 11:50 pm rating: 1
#21
Canthz_B
***
Jan 1, 2011 at 12:23 pm rating: 1
#22
Rotwatcher
Pretty illiterate for a 7 year-old.
Jan 1, 2011 at 3:40 pm rating: 1
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