Entries from December 2010
So, has holiday time with your family got you reachin’ for the nearest bottle of Mad Dog yet? No? Well, then allow us here at PAN to help bring you back to the depressing world of real life.
Janet spotted this display by the side of the road in her “very small-town community” in Virginia. “I’m sure this person is known by some who will see the sign — maybe even the local sheriff,” she says. “At first I laughed, but then I thought it was just sad.”
related: Won’t somebody think o’ the ’possums?
Tags: actually totally reasonable · driving · drizzunk · garbage · public shaming · small town living · Virginia
So, I’ve been thinking about it (!) but I’m still not entirely clear about what type of eternal damnation Christmas-ornament thieves should supposedly be condemned. Perhaps some sort of Sisyphean untangling of Christmas lights?
One thing seems certain, however: no matter what your belief system, some type of divine retribution is in order.
Thanks to Wade in D.C., Jack in Santa Monica, and Emma in L.A. for their submissions!
related: Imagine…Christmas morning…You!!
Tags: Christmas · karma's a bitch · stealing · the po-po · you're like so going to hell
Did you hear? Jack Bauer is back again! He’s now working unofficially as the head of the Cubicle Counter Terrorism Unit. And apparently, he gets his best propaganda ideas right here at PAN!
(Thanks to Lisa in Utah, Tyler in Texas, Michael in Ohio and Sleepy Engineer in Virginia for their submissions!)
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance (the original “terrorists win” note)
Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · coffee · Copycat · misplaced patriotism · office cop · toilet paper
Apparently, your mother does work at the Clemson University computer lab. Now take some responsibility for yourself, child!
related: These yogurts are expired. What should we do?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · not-so-veiled threats · oh snap · rebuttals · South Carolina · stealing
When men and women are forced to share a bathroom, our submitter in Philadelphia explains, “sometimes gentle reminders are needed to keep the household hygiene at an acceptable level.”
And as Meghan the intern discovered during a summer gig in New York City, sometimes those gentle reminders bear repeating at the office, too.
Tags: art · hygiene · New York · Philadelphia · soap
Says our submitter in Las Vegas: “My mom found this — my brother’s Christmas shopping list — while cleaning up the house before company came over. (Sandra is my sister-in-law.)”
Poor Sandra. She doesn’t even warrant a regifted Mongolia[n] BBQ hat from the office potluck?
related: Stuff this in your stocking, sister.
Tags: Christmas · family · WTF?
From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.
And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:
Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons
Tags: cry me a freaking river · Facebook · frenemies · most popular notes of 2010 · Sydney
Part 2 in our “How to be the worst neighbor ever” series comes to us courtesy of Chris in Fort Worth, Texas.
When he first saw the note go up in his apartment complex, says Chris, “I thought it was pretty funny, but it wasn’t until the thief wrote a response that I had to take a picture.”
related: All the news that’s fit to steal
Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · neighbors · newspaper · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?
Stuffing your neighbor’s mailbox with a bag of dog poo/a dead rodent/a hundred boxes of orange tic-tacs? So amateur. If you really want to drive someone crazy, try repeatedly scratching out her name and writing “VACANT” over it instead. Apparently, it works like a charm.
related: Stop ordering McDonald’s and then not answering your door!
Tags: going postal · i before e · irregular capitalization · neighbors · New Orleans