“Our receptionist is uber-paranoid about her stuff getting stolen, despite the fact that we are one of the rare offices where fridge theft isn’t a problem,” writes our anonymous submitter in South Carolina. “Though I’d be too scared to do it myself — the woman has a very nasty, underhanded side — I love that someone else decided to have a little fun with her.”
![[Note 1:] Every thing in this drawer belongs to Elaine. Do NOT use or steal anything in here - It is for me - Elaine [Note 2:] Everything else in this refrigerator belongs to everybody else. It belongs to everybody else. Thank you, Everybody Else](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5203/5323991131_e9348e653f.jpg "[Note 1:] Every thing in this drawer belongs to Elaine. Do NOT use or steal anything in here - It is for me - Elaine [Note 2:] Everything else in this refrigerator belongs to everybody else. It belongs to everybody else. Thank you, Everybody Else")
related: Who’s the smartass?
116 responses so far ↓
#1
Sock
All your foods are belong to us?
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:31 pm rating: 79
#2
Annonymous
LOL, I love BS’ing with people at work
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:31 pm rating: 5
#3
ANkh
Now swap the the signs.
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:32 pm rating: 60
#4
Danny Stamp
Put a dildo in her drawer, tbh.
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:34 pm rating: 56
#5
lulz
I would have just tossed her note in the garbage and left the other one up to be a nice reminder. Then again, I probably would have tossed her food into my mouth.
Her food was fucking delicious.
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:35 pm rating: 10
#6
Seanette
So of TWO drawers, ONE person gets one all to herself and everyone else has to share the other?
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:38 pm rating: 41
#7
natasha
I love how everybody so afraid of the receptionist. The note is typed just in case she can identify the handwriting. I’m a receptionist and, while I don’t have a “nasty, underhanded side”, I know the receptionist can make your life a living hell!!!!
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:39 pm rating: 20
#8
Havingfitz
What this office desperately needs is another Elaine. Maybe the 2nd Dave from the other office would be willing to gender-bend for a day?
Jan 9, 2011 at 6:41 pm rating: 10
#9
Nunavut Guy
Mine!……Mine,mine ,mine ,mine, mine……….Mine.
elaine.
Jan 9, 2011 at 7:03 pm rating: 38
#10
EmailsThatSuck
I’m guessing that Elaine has the same policy for the drawers in the fridge and the drawers in her pants.
Jan 9, 2011 at 7:54 pm rating: 4
#11
Divvitar
Maybe hiding a mouse trap in her crisper drawer would encourage Elaine to stop being a nasty bee-atch.
Jan 9, 2011 at 7:58 pm rating: 4
#12
Mel
I would take something out of her drawer everyday and put it on the shelf above it. So that someone else would eat it. If she is that serious about her food, she should keep it with her or get her own mini-fridge. Psycho.
Jan 9, 2011 at 7:58 pm rating: 23
#13
shwo!
I say throw a bag of coke in there and alert the authorities:
“But that’s not mine!”
“The sign says it is.”
Jan 9, 2011 at 8:23 pm rating: 72
#14
April
What a bitch. So she is going to take up an entire crisper drawer just for herself?! Depending on how many people use this fridge this is kinda ridiculous. I would take the sign down and put a sign up saying “You cannot claim an entire crisper drawer:.”
Jan 9, 2011 at 9:05 pm rating: 20
#15
mamasita
So who died & made her goddess of the fridge with an entire drawer to herself. Selfish beeyatch. Fire her paranoid sorry arse.
Jan 9, 2011 at 9:10 pm rating: 4
#16
meri
Elaine should invest in a little lunchbag and put a lock on it. She should NOT take up a whole crisper drawer. What a terrible receptionist.
Jan 10, 2011 at 12:14 am rating: 3
#17
Ali
Maybe it’s because it’s almost 2am, but I read both signs three times and laughed more and more each time.
Oh, Elaine, you’re awful.
Jan 10, 2011 at 12:51 am rating: 5
#18
Canthz_B
If Elaine keeps everything in her drawers in the refrigerator, does that mean she’s probably frigid?
Or just saving her “stuff” for Mr. Right?
Jan 10, 2011 at 12:54 am rating: 5
#19
Canthz_B
Everything in this comment box belongs to Canthz_B.
Do not use or steal anything in here—it is for me.
— Canthz_B
Canthz_B never spoke in the third(?)-person before, but Canthz_B could get to like this.
Come to think of it, Canthz_B will probably NEVER do this crap again, because Canthz_B thinks this sounds even more arrogant than even Canthz_B can stand sounding without puking Canthz_B’s guts out, going limp, and needing to slump into Bob Dole’s chair for a rest.
Jan 10, 2011 at 1:04 am rating: 28
#20
Canthz_B
This must have been one of the funniest Seinfeld episodes ever!
Jan 10, 2011 at 1:35 am rating: 4
#21
Lunar
She should get a lockable Tupperware container or something instead of claiming an entire drawer of a communal fridge for herself.
I’d take the drawer out, dump her food in the space and leave a sign saying something like, “The drawer however is up for grabs.”
Jan 10, 2011 at 4:07 am rating: 6
#22
matt
Her autograph is creepy. The ‘e’s at the start and the end look like a twisted french moustache; or maybe she is just french and showing off her obnoxious ‘la culture française’
Jan 10, 2011 at 4:38 am rating: 5
#23
anglophile
How does someone with this amount of self-importance sign her name with a small E?
Jan 10, 2011 at 6:25 am rating: 10
#24
GhostWriter
I looked in her crisper drawer. There was nothing in there but a severed pinky toe.
Jan 10, 2011 at 8:04 am rating: 13
#25
Rattus
My first thought was that if I worked with Elaine, I would be using her drawer to dispose of the lunch leftovers that I didn’t really feel like dragging home for the composter bin at the end of the day. If she’s that retentive, she can take care of my composting for me.
Jan 10, 2011 at 8:19 am rating: 3
#26
Nahhh
I don’t see a “special diet” there. I see a jar of either grape jelly or fudge sauce.
I’d steal her fudge sauce.
Jan 10, 2011 at 9:07 am rating: 1
#27
Sidney
I want to party with YOU, cowboy Elaine.
Jan 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm rating: 1
#28
Jesse
Is she a relative of THX Sandra by any chance?
Jan 10, 2011 at 2:04 pm rating: 1
#29
sleeps
I say pull a Halpert and place each item in ‘her’ drawer in its own individual Jell-O mold.
Jan 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm rating: 8
#30
InYourSleep
Look closely under the “EVERYONE ELSE” sign….is that a lemon?
Jan 10, 2011 at 6:20 pm rating: 0
#31
Carmen
Haha. That is hilarious!!
Jan 15, 2011 at 12:09 pm rating: 0
#32
kweef
I bet Elaine’s box is fucking delicious.
Feb 25, 2011 at 3:14 am rating: 0
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