Fanning the first-floor flamers

January 10th, 2011 · 48 comments

Hannah spotted this warning (and the accompanying Fire-Marshal takedown) posted at the University of Alaska art building in Juneau. On the ground floor.

1:

“It’s the ground floor; only an idiot would use the stairs to escape a fire. There’s a door over there ->  - if it’s on fire –  <-There’s a door over there.”
“WHERE’S YOUR IMAGINATION?”

“DUH, HE SOLD IT TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.”

“What are you talking about? I’m imagining students cramming into the stairwell per this sign’s advice, just to get upstairs and see an identical sign directing them back down into the flames.”

Adding to the sign’s absurdity, Hannah says, is the fact that “the building is only two stories, and built at the base of an embankment. The upper floor can be accessed by the street on the upper level, and the lower level can be accessed either by stairs from the upper level or by at least four exit doors on the lower level.”

related: Snark-itti

FILED UNDER: Alaska · college life · elevator · questionable logic · saga · smartass · that's a fire hazard


48 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Sour_Sadie bang

    You’re kidding! I mean how is that even possible for students to pull a stunt like that?

    I mean, sure, it’s understandable for getting into the Guinness Book of World Records to set a record for the greatest number of students-cramming-into-the- stairwell-per-this-sign’s-advice, just-to-get -upstairs-and-see-an-identical-sign-directing-them-back-down-into-the-flames, but why the hell do that for the hell of it when you could get recognition for it instead?/sarcasm

    Jan 10, 2011 at 7:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Nikki

    This theory–”What are you talking about? I’m imagining students cramming into the stairwell per this sign’s advice, just to get upstairs and see an identical sign directing them back down into the flames”–reminds me of that old “How do you entertain an idiot? Turn this card over [only to see the same thing written on the other side of the card]” sort of joke. Of course, in this case the idiots would risk becoming a wee bit crispy and charred…

    Jan 10, 2011 at 7:41 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   FeRD bang

      Mmmm, Cajun-Style Idiot. My favorite!

      Jan 10, 2011 at 8:37 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   sleeps

      Tastes like chicken!

      Jan 11, 2011 at 10:35 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Guy

    Oh, that’s funny. The sign is probably there because of some city ordinance requiring signs like that to be posted next to EVERY elevator. “Only and idiot” does really crack me up, though.

    In a tremendous display of overkill, our apartment manager/control freak has posted COMMUNITY GRILL RULES

    Jan 10, 2011 at 8:02 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      Well, a dry rub is best! ;-)

      Jan 10, 2011 at 8:12 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   FeRD bang

      Really? I usually go old-school, when grilling the community: Bright light directly in their faces, sleep deprivation, lots of shouting and repeated questions.

      Jan 10, 2011 at 8:38 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   Canthz_B bang

      Well, if you want to take outdoor cookery to the third degree…

      Jan 10, 2011 at 8:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   Kate from Iowa

      Hey don’t knock it. Our building’s grill…well, when there’s a designated pet area there should never be, anywhere near (let alone left ON) the grill, little baggies of dog shit.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 4:48 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Guy

    Oh, that’s funny. The sign is probably there because of some city ordinance requiring signs like that to be posted next to EVERY elevator. “Only and idiot” does really crack me up, though.

    Jan 10, 2011 at 8:05 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   AMR

      Maybe I am “and idiot” but I am not seeing where it says this anywhere (original sign or accompanying translation text).

      Jan 11, 2011 at 8:18 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   FeRD bang

      *thumb* AMR! You are and hero! :)

      Jan 11, 2011 at 10:35 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Too much bureaucracy and red tape in our lives.

    In case of fire, run like hell.
    If on fire, stop, drop and roll…then run like hell.

    How hard is that?

    Jan 10, 2011 at 8:09 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      But if you don’t have a sign, then the family of people too stupid to figure it out get to sue you.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 1:11 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    This sign was probably posted to help Sarah Palin and her kids.
    They aren’t the brightest bulbs in the box you know.

    Jan 10, 2011 at 8:16 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Nikki

      Next thing you know, they’ll be claiming they can see Russia from that stairwell!

      Jan 10, 2011 at 9:29 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   Divvitar

      For Sarah Palin, the sign should say “Run into the pretty flames. You will be safe there.”

      Jan 10, 2011 at 10:18 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Isuru

    Actually, I support this sign. It’s a two storey building with exits on both floors. A fire could originate on either floor, meaning the the smart thing to do is to go to the other floor and go for an exit. If the fire was all through the lower floor, you’d want to go up and exit from there. Either way, you wouldn’t want to use the elevator.

    Jan 10, 2011 at 9:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   StuckonStairwell

      WHAT!?!? “…and the lower level can be accessed either by stairs from the upper level or by at least four exit doors on the lower level.”

      IF THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE, GET OUT! Repeat, GET OUT!!!

      Beside you can see Russia from the lower floor too!

      Jan 10, 2011 at 10:59 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.2   Jake

      Just confirming: I work in the building next door. The art building is a split-level, accessible on both floors. If fire is on either floor, taking the stairs away from it is preferable to taking the elevator. The next building with an elevator (not all do) is the same. Has the same signs on both floors, too.

      Jan 10, 2011 at 11:34 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.3   Canthz_B bang

      If the fire is on the lower floor, why would you want to go up? Doesn’t this building have windows on the first floor?

      Burn, Baby…burn.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 4:49 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #7.4   Jake

      The parking, and the rest of campus is easier to access off of the higher of the two floors. The fire fighters will be up there, too.

      Jan 16, 2011 at 2:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   D.C.

    This is my hometown and I went to school there. It is certain that the sign is there because of government regulation so the students’ attempts to be funny are weak.

    For the record (for those who don’t know much about Alaska), Sarah Palin hates Juneau and Juneau hates Sarah Palin.

    Juneau is too college-educated middle class for her. She used her power as governor to hurt the community by transferring state jobs out of the capital city plus she really did most of her governing from offices in Anchorage and spent as little time as possible in the capital – something no governor, liberal or conservative, had ever done before. She even made a point of not having her inauguration as governor in the Juneau, as had always been normal.

    Jan 10, 2011 at 11:32 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   sleeps

      That bitch. I’m adding ‘thumbed her nose at Juneau and its rich political heritage’ to my list of reasons to punch her in the face.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 10:40 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   VM

      Ah yes, the refreshing civility of the left. No violent imagery ever ever ever….just “reasons to punch” from sleeps and invitations to self-immolation from Divvitar, for no better reason than people can’t resist a chance to slag whenever the name of the 49th state is mentioned. Tiresome.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   Canthz_B bang

      I’m sorry, where did anyone put down Alaska? Or even all right-wing politicos for that matter? Try being from New Jersey, Numbnuts…there are jokes about almost every State, Sarah Palin and family are yours. Own them, embrace them, rejoice in the bounty of mediocrity, hypocrisy and ignorance that is them!
      Now, calls to “take back government with pitchforks if necessary” haven’t come from the Left…guess which side has said such vile things…as if we didn’t have a legitimate election in 2008?

      Punching or burning Sarah Palin aren’t violent acts…they’re festive, like beating a piñata or roasting marshmallows! ;-)

      Grow the fuck up and let the Party which won the White House govern for at least four years as is their mandate, Crybaby.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 12:30 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   VM

      No one put down Alaska. No one put down all right-wing politicos. Forgive me if I wasn’t clear because I tried to avoid getting into slagging matches myself by being rather oblique in my references. In plain terms then: JUST BECAUSE this incident happened to happen in Juneau, Alaska, you had to start the line of Sarah Palin jokes. (And dragged her kids in as well, BTW.) And that starts the merry round of thumbing-up and the talk going increasingly nastywards. Look, I’m not a fan of the woman. I don’t want her in political office, and I don’t watch her out of it. But I’m really, really tired of gratuitous political-personality slams being inserted into the slightest cracks anywhere, and it being thought of as standard casual humor. Sorry.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 12:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Canthz_B bang

      Oblique? You don’t think we know Alaska is the 49th State?!
      If this note had been from Utah, we’d be all over Mormons. Her family is in here because she put them out there. Go dance with that slut star. So what. Get over it. Slipping into the slightest cracks is what we do around here…we’re small like that, and can fit quite nicely into the cracks afforded us. ;-)

      Jan 11, 2011 at 12:58 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   VM

      I would say the same for Obama cracks engendered just because something happened in Hawaii, by the way. Because I’m tired of stuff dragged political-wards when it the topic isn’t.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 12:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   Canthz_B bang

      You’re too tired. Get some sleep. All Obama did in Hawaii was be born there, but any good joke would be appreciated as such by all (or at least most) here.

      The child of a woman with US citizenship is an American citizen at birth, no matter where she gives birth, so it’s a moot point.
      You think if an American on vacation in Brazil gives birth her child isn’t a US citizen? Can’t run for President?

      There is no question of his mom’s citizenship, so his is or should be without question.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 1:07 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.8   anglophile bang

      Listen, VM, some people are just too ridiculous not to be made fun of. Do liberals go around crying every time someone makes a Clinton joke when cigars are mentioned? No, he did a ridiculous thing that deserves ridicule. If you think Sarah Palin is undeserving of mocking, well, you haven’t been listening to the same hockey mom I have been forced to listen to for the past four years.

      Now I’m going off to look at the turkey-slaughter interview again, that was my favorite.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 1:28 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.9   Canthz_B bang

      That clip was priceless, Glo! ROTFLMAO
      Do you have one of Clinton getting his whistle wet? :lol:

      Jan 11, 2011 at 1:55 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.10   anglophile bang

      Sure, CB, but I’m gonna need your credit card number for that one.

      Jan 11, 2011 at 3:00 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.11   sleeps

      Hey, VM- first of all, where the fuck does this non sequitur about ‘the civility of the left’ come from?

      Secondly, it was a joke- it’s called hyperbole! See, because there are lots of reasons for me not to like Palin- drilling in Alaska, her anti-abortion stance, the whole hunting-from-a-helicopter thing- but the FUNNY HYPERBOLE was that I would get face-punching mad because she dissed Juneau. Get it?? Hahahahaha…ha…ha?

      Jan 11, 2011 at 8:30 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   WMDKitty

    Aaah, college…

    Jan 11, 2011 at 2:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    This is a drill.
    In case of emergency, proceed down the stairs in an orderly fashion and calmly exit the building.
    This has been a drill.

    This is a reality check.
    In the case of a real emergency, stampede like a herd of wild buffalo, trampling the weak, the infirm and the slow, as you descend the stairs in a mad dash to escape a fiery death.
    This has been a reality check.

    Jan 11, 2011 at 3:47 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Josie

    People are idiots and I would bet a fair number of them would try to take the elevator in a fire. My brother is a fireman and you’d be amazed at the stupid things people do during a fire. People run back into burning buildings to grab cell phones and lap tops. I really don’t want anyone to risk his/her life having to save some idiot out of an elevator when it ceases to work during a fire. If you are smart enough to take the stairs during an emergency then Hooray for you. For all others, the sign is a good idea.

    Jan 11, 2011 at 9:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   QBALL

    I may have missed this, but why does this building even have an elevator?

    Jan 11, 2011 at 11:18 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   InYourSleep

      Because some lazyasses won’t move their lazy asses up/down approximately 16 stairs?

      Jan 11, 2011 at 12:50 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Americans with Disabilities Act probably.

      Don’t ask me what they’re supposed to do in case of fire, but I suspect a great many will be miraculously cured if that day comes!

      Jan 11, 2011 at 1:24 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   InYourSleep bang

      -now feels like an insensitive buttwad…-

      Jan 11, 2011 at 3:46 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.4   Canthz_B bang

      Good to know you know what a buttwad feels like, but you should share shit like that on Facebook. ;-)

      Jan 11, 2011 at 4:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.5   Pokeysaurus bang

      Even if the elevator is there because of the AwDA, anyone who would use an elevator in a two-story building with outside access from either floor deserves to perish in flames.

      Jan 13, 2011 at 12:42 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Pterosaur

    This looks like a test of Darwinism. The school wants to thin out the low end of the bell curve by directing the dumbest of the herd back into the flames. The note writer is already picturing these idiots burning up in the stairwell. She must have a low opinion of the intelligence of her classmates.

    Jan 11, 2011 at 11:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Mace Elaine

    I’ve seen enough horror films to know that in a state of emergency, there are PLENTY of idiots who go upstairs.

    NEVER GO UPSTAIRS WHEN YOU’RE BEING CHASED, IDIOTS.

    Jan 11, 2011 at 2:40 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Scott

    Palin must have hired that fire marshal!

    Jan 12, 2011 at 11:20 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Paul Calf

    Only one thing worse than stupid idiots.

    Clever idiots.

    Feb 6, 2011 at 2:58 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Snowman

    That looks like Pedar’s handwriting. BMP forever, forever BMP.

    Mar 1, 2011 at 3:30 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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