You can be sure our submitter wasn’t the only rubbernecking bystander on Facebook to feel pained by the awkwardness on display in this public wound-picking.
Dear “C”: A word of advice? Back away from your computer. Disconnect your WiFi. Channel your feelings into a Taylor Swift song or a six-pack or something. Unless, of course, you want to end up like this 20 years down the road…
related: Another example of why you should never publish your relationship status on Facebook
49 responses so far ↓
#1
Alison
THIS is hilarious. And sad.
Jan 19, 2011 at 7:59 pm rating: 3
#2
Michelle
time to take someone off their friend list
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:07 pm rating: 20
#3
farcical aquatic ceremony
I’m way too sensitive to navigate the waters of Fbook…just the fact that he identifies himself as The Facebook (baseball) ‘Play-uh’, while she’s the bun-haired, denim-look long skirt-wearin’ chick whose sizeable butt never leaves the vicinity of her computer makes me sad…
: (
; )
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:07 pm rating: 9
#4
FeRD
Aaaaand this is why I’ve been single for more than a decade now.
Cheerio!
([Small voice] Yes. Yes, that’s why. It has to be! …Doesn’t it?)
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:09 pm rating: 36
#5
me
i had an ex boyfriend pull this on me. so annoying. now my relationship box is hidden, and will remain so, even if i get married (feel free to shot me if i ever consider getting married!)
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:11 pm rating: 3
#6
Adam
But… but… she already had the perfect picture of a car with a just married sign and tin cans for after the wedding.
Also was that clipart the original profile pics or is that jsut to cover up their faces? Inquiring minds must know.
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:12 pm rating: 1
#7
Rebekah
Oh, brother!
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:21 pm rating: 1
#8
frogfactory
I think it’s sweet they’re still facebook friends, at least!
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:27 pm rating: 0
#9
Nunavut Guy
“C” says she only thinks that he never changed his status.If it were that important I would think that she would be sure.
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:28 pm rating: 1
#10
Jonathan
That fucking wasn’t delicious.
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:44 pm rating: 13
#11
katerinawit
@me. Don’t make me shot you.
Jan 19, 2011 at 8:55 pm rating: 3
#12
Turd Ferguson
I shot the sheriff but I didn’t shot the deputy
Jan 19, 2011 at 9:05 pm rating: 10
#13
EmailsThatSuck
Since the notewriter didn’t specify what conclusion this clue should have led her to, I like to fill in the blanks and re-read the exchange.
-”Ought to have clued me in to the fact you were a zombie who just wanted me for my brains.”
-”Ought to have clued me in to the fact that you are actually a housecat who learned to use the internet.”
-”Ought to have clued me in to the fact that you knew you were my cousin long before I did.”
Jan 19, 2011 at 10:25 pm rating: 32
#14
oi
C: Blah. Blah.You are such an asshole. Blah. Blah.
Hope you’re doing well.
S: I understand you resent me, here is explanation that will let you back out with little bit of dignity.
C: Well, I am too hurt to back out. I insist that you are an asshole. I am going to pretend that its not biggie to save my dignity. I stil insist that you are an asshole though. Cheerio!
Jan 19, 2011 at 10:29 pm rating: 52
#15
butt
C could have changed their relationship status too. If S declined that, then there might be a point…
Jan 20, 2011 at 12:44 am rating: 4
#16
Divvitar
Why do I have a sudden craving for Cheerios?
Jan 20, 2011 at 1:28 am rating: 17
#17
KJS
Why I find this to be depressing: These people are probably not in junior high.
I don’t know if Facebook has ruined the world or simply revealed the ruin that is the world.
Jan 20, 2011 at 4:27 am rating: 46
#18
Slap Stick
I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation for not changing his status.
He probably didn’t want to stay with this girl that long and didn’t want to appear taken to his more desirable female facebook friends that he actually wanted to be with.
Jan 20, 2011 at 8:36 am rating: 6
#19
AMR
Here’s what I don’t understand. S seems to claim that he does not go on facebook often, yet it took him less than 24 hours to come up with that lame excuse.
Jan 20, 2011 at 9:34 am rating: 15
#20
divaandwriter
I get a feeling that the biggest clue to the fact that he didn’t want to be chained to her was when he spotted her coming up the street, ducked and ran.
Jan 20, 2011 at 9:36 am rating: 3
#21
Kyle
Dear C,
If you’d put half the effort into the actual relationship that you did obsessing about whether or not a bunch of people you don’t care enough about to talk to in real life are aware of/impressed by the fact that you have a boyfriend… maybe you’d still have one.
Ta ta!
S
Jan 20, 2011 at 12:07 pm rating: 5
#22
RG
KJS
Re: “I don’t know if facebook has ruined the world or simply revealed the ruin that is the world.”
Is this yours? If so, bravo. If not, could you cite?
Jan 20, 2011 at 1:38 pm rating: 0
#23
Spooky
I HATE the Facebook relationship status. If it’s not on Facebook, is it not legitimate? Does that give both parties license to do whatever the hell they want? I really wish Facebook didn’t have this feature. I just don’t display my status.
Jan 20, 2011 at 8:56 pm rating: 2
#24
Walker, "Tex" (a stranger)
Let’s see, I got married before facebook existed.
So that means the marriage doesn’t actually count.
Therefore I don’t really have to pay for the divorce.
Life just got a little brighter.
Jan 21, 2011 at 9:46 pm rating: 2
#25
Miss Ash
I *heart* passive aggressive FB conversations. Like watching a train wreck.
Jan 21, 2011 at 9:58 pm rating: 2
#26
Canthz_B
No wonder my wife is always pissed off!
I’d better change my profile on Blackbabyboomersmeet.com right away.
All those flirts must me driving her mad!!
Jan 24, 2011 at 7:16 am rating: 0
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