…well, you’re probably right. (Small acts of passive-aggression are just one of the many coping strategies IT workers employ in order to maintain their own sanity while forced to deal with incredibly, outrageously, mind-bogglingly stupid people like you.)
But if you think you’re being patronized when the Help Desk operator asks you to make sure your power cord is plugged in…well, you’re probably not. (Because — like the 10 other people who called before you complaining “My computer won’t turn on!” — your power cord probably isn’t plugged in.)
Just ask our submitter Jessica, who works the IT Help Desk at a college in Portland, Oregon. Jessica calls this chart, created by fellow help-desker, “a very accurate visual representation of a typical day at work.”
related: Passive-aggressive flowcharts
126 responses so far ↓
#1
Smiley4099
I would comment, but my computer won’t turn on because the cord’s not plugged in.
Jan 24, 2011 at 7:33 pm rating: 90
#2
Luisa
Yes, we can tell what websites you look at. Yes, that includes the naked variety.
Jan 24, 2011 at 7:38 pm rating: 90
#3
Seanette
I’ve done tech support. That wheel looks about right.
Jan 24, 2011 at 7:44 pm rating: 90
#4
the Librarian
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Jan 24, 2011 at 7:47 pm rating: 90
#5
Nunavut Guy
Where’s Vanna?
Jan 24, 2011 at 7:57 pm rating: 90
#6
C.A.D
Now if every office would just print one of these to post … they’d save a lot of money on their bill with the IT folks! I’m not sure if this is truly PA … since it is ever so true!!
Jan 24, 2011 at 8:03 pm rating: 90
#7
JetJackson
I made a friend for life in the IT department the other day when I said “My PC can’t find a Dynamic Link Library file”. Name dropping IT acronyms has been the gateway to a new headset, larger screen and increased user privileges. They might get upset and frustrated when you know nothing but it only takes a little bit of IT knowledge to get them as excited as a meth addict that just found a rock in their underwear draw.
Jan 24, 2011 at 8:57 pm rating: 90
#8
Liz
But … this doesn’t have the answer to the most mind-numbing question:
“Which key is the ANY key?”
Jan 24, 2011 at 9:07 pm rating: 90
#9
B.
What does “CTRL” mean?
Jan 24, 2011 at 9:36 pm rating: 90
#10
punkypower
It’s kind of ironic that the wheel was not created on a computer.
Jan 24, 2011 at 9:45 pm rating: 90
#11
Faith
I worked IT Helpdesk for 3 years at my last job…and I circled that wheel at least once a shift. Ugh.
The worst part was when I jokingly said “did you plug it in?” I never got any laughs. DD=
Jan 24, 2011 at 9:47 pm rating: 90
#12
Jodi
No, I can’t tell you how to rewind a DVD. You’ve called the wrong department. *head desk* (Yes, it did happen.)
Jan 24, 2011 at 10:47 pm rating: 90
#13
Crisp Flows
Dang, I was hoping it’s a flowchart for creating a perfect PA Note.
Jan 24, 2011 at 10:47 pm rating: 90
#14
WMDKitty
This is so very, very true.
Jan 24, 2011 at 11:11 pm rating: 90
#15
shwo!
Yeah, you seem to have a “1-D-10-T” error. Have you tried checking the weak link between the keyboard and the chair?
Jan 24, 2011 at 11:55 pm rating: 90
#16
dissipatedfog
One of my favorite passive-aggressive (or perhaps just plain aggressive) sites is Let me google that for you: http://lmgtfy.com/. Type in the question and get a URL to send to somebody showing them how to use Google. I’ve never seriously used it, though I’ve been tempted many times.
Jan 25, 2011 at 12:02 am rating: 90
#17
leena
“have you tried turning it off and on again?” The IT-Crowd
Jan 25, 2011 at 12:53 am rating: 90
#18
AuntyBron
“Press Any Key – No, NO – not THAT one!”
Jan 25, 2011 at 1:03 am rating: 90
#19
Canthz_B
“Have you recently changed your password?…Okay then, try the new password.”
Yeah, that was me. Changed my password on a Friday morning, and forgot all about it by Monday morning. Most embarrassing call to IT ever!
Jan 25, 2011 at 2:59 am rating: 90
#20
NickDrakeFan
I do tech support for video poker machines and that wheel is very accurate, even for us.
If you’ve ever seen The IT Crowd, one of the characters just answers the IT desk phone with “IT, have you turned it off and back on again?” Brilliant.
Jan 25, 2011 at 3:01 am rating: 90
#21
Grant
It’s been my sad duty for over 10 years now to ask the inevitable. It also works for Sky TV boxes as well.
We have a code for numpty call-outs; “your basic IO error.” Meaning of course incompetent operator. Also known as PEBCAK – problem exists between chair and keyboard.
Jan 25, 2011 at 3:45 am rating: 90
#22
Oink
I love “yes, click OK” – it’s my absolute favourite.
Jan 25, 2011 at 4:28 am rating: 90
#23
Dave Gambrill
If you want to be a little passive-aggressive after you Google for someone, you can use this handy site http://lmgtfy.com/ . It will show them exactly how they should have Googled it themselves. Enjoy!
Jan 25, 2011 at 5:04 am rating: 90
#24
Russian
While most of them are amusingly PA, does anyone think ‘that sounds like a hardware problem’ is completely useless? ‘You’re right, it’s not working. No, I don’t have any helpful solutions.’
Jan 25, 2011 at 5:45 am rating: 90
#25
zomboid
so that’s what those useless fuckers are doing 5 out of 7 working hours when they’re unavailable…building spinny wheels out of coloured paper and staples
Jan 25, 2011 at 7:05 am rating: 90
#26
Tess
I love IT Crowd! And this wheel. And most of this thread.
I read the others, but didn’t see “PICNIC” yet– Problem In Chair, Not In Computer.
Jan 25, 2011 at 7:13 am rating: 90
#27
anglophile
40 comments and no one’s linked this classic yet?
Jan 25, 2011 at 7:20 am rating: 90
#28
anglophile
I am the de facto tech support person for a small business. One computer, one completely technologically moronic boss. One day she called me after I got home from work and told me the printer stopped printing. She put new toner in it and that didn’t work. I asked if she checked for paper jams but neglected to specify both the front and back access doors. When I got back in, sure enough, paper jam in the back area.
Two weeks later, I get a call from her. She’s got another paper jam, she has the back door open, now how does she get it out? I ask, what, is it really stuck? She says, no, can’t I just pull it out?
Jan 25, 2011 at 7:24 am rating: 90
#29
GhostWriter
None of these sounded familiar until I read them out loud, using an Indian accent.
Jan 25, 2011 at 8:07 am rating: 90
#30
owlie
And sometimes IT is just fucking lazy.
Jan 25, 2011 at 8:16 am rating: 90
#31
spoko
The “Let me Google that for you” wedge should be about six times as wide as the others.
Jan 25, 2011 at 8:29 am rating: 90
#32
Mimi
justfuckinggoogleit.com
Jan 25, 2011 at 8:34 am rating: 90
#33
aaa
Hm. I’m feeling mentally lazy today, so I’ll just link to the Tech Support category on Not Always Right.
Jan 25, 2011 at 8:54 am rating: 90
#34
Tucker
“/sigh….Did you have the Caps Lock key on when you reset your password?” Yes, this happens often at a Community College Helpdesk
Jan 25, 2011 at 11:37 am rating: 90
#35
crazedraven
Okay, I work in IT…and I have to say, yes, we occasionally make people go through a bunch of generic, obvious steps before we get down to the solution, but that’s because you wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve taken a user at their word that they’ve already performed these steps, only to find out after a half hour on the phone that they did NOT perform all those steps, or didn’t perform them correctly, and the problem was simple, and my time and theirs was wasted. So don’t blame me if I don’t take you at your word that you know what you’re doing. It’s not that I think I’m smarter than you, it’s that I already know how dumb all YOUR coworkers are.
Occasionally, I get a really great call, a call that’s like the support desk call equivalent of Plan 9 From Outer Space…so bad it makes my day. Like the time this one guy called me and needed to reset his e-mail password. When I told him to open Internet Explorer and go to a certain web address, his response was:
“Okay, but I have dial-up. I’ll have to do that and then call you back.”
Jan 25, 2011 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
#36
Canthz_B
I try not to call our Help Desk.
I’m afraid that when they take remote control of my computer they’ll spit in it.
Jan 25, 2011 at 11:41 pm rating: 90
#37
MitziBell
The IT techs who are slackers don’t care about your problem, no matter how big or small. The good ones are taking care of seven other people ahead of you, five of them at once, three of whom are even more stupid and entitled than you could ever be, no matter how bad you are. Might as well read PAN.
Jan 26, 2011 at 5:53 pm rating: 90
#38
techess
These comments are a good example about how in IT, you’re darned if you do, darned if you don’t. Of course there are cruddy IT people out there, but please remember — we deal with a lot of people.
If you’re good with computers, fantastic, but there’s a good chance that most of your co-workers are not, which means that if we start every conversation with “Are you sure it’s plugged in”, it’s not an insult — we just may not remember which 5 out of 100 people are tech savy.
For every person who does some research to try and help the tech team, there’s a person (or 12) who has done “a little research” and will now argue and argue and argue about the cause of a problem.
And for pete’s sake, yes we do have to look things up because there is a lot of “stuff” under the IT umbrella. Someone may be great at networking, hardware, and fixing printers, but not know every quirk of Excel 2007. It happens. If the user figures out the answer faster, I think it would be nice to share the fix with the IT person.
I know, I know, TL;DR, but there you go.
Jan 28, 2011 at 11:04 am rating: 90
#39
Niveus Pluma
Surely there’s only one response IT helpdesk techies need: “Turn it off and turn it on again”. Works every time…
…except when it’s not plugged in, of course.
Jan 28, 2011 at 12:24 pm rating: 90
#40
mo
The worst is the IT techs that absolutely don’t know anything about IT. FAIL!
Jan 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm rating: 90
#41
travtek
Recorded message, “We are now closed. Please hold for the next available representative.”
Feb 12, 2011 at 2:26 am rating: 90
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