“You gave me an F? I’m reporting you to the FDA!”

January 25th, 2011 · 54 comments

Near the start of the semester, a classmate (or, rather, a former classmate) of our submitter sent this this huffy message of “warm regards” to everyone on the course listserv. ”I guess someone doesn’t know how to unsubscribe from Yahoo Groups,” our submitter says. “Instead, by posting this message, she ‘flooded’ all of our inboxes.” And that is not a good thing.

I, for one, would LOVE to see this girl’s complaint to the FCC. I envision a bright future for her writing blustery cease & desist letters as an attorney-at-LOL until retiring to concentrate on angry letters to the editor.

Dear Class, Something came up and I have to quit the class. Please stop flooding my box with emails and get me out of this class and please do regard this letter and stop flooding me with emails. Or I will report you to the FCC and that is not a good thing. Thank you. With the Warmest Regards, [Redacted]

related: Be informed; Homeland Security will be.

FILED UNDER: college life · Pennsylvania · pleasantries as afterthought · WTF?


54 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Alison

    I hope they stayed subscribed and received the replies, follow ups for class, etc. etc. Haha.

    Jan 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   AuntyBron

      Don’t forget about all of the tangental threads that people start up without changing the subject line.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 12:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   FeRD bang

      You mean sort of like, “RE: … Another intro : )”?

      Jan 26, 2011 at 1:33 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Don Adams

    I don’t know about you, but I take *all* my warmest regards to the FCC.

    Jan 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

     
  • #3   bujubee

    I’ve reported you to the Internet Intelligence Police and that’s not a good thing.

    Jan 25, 2011 at 10:54 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Wolverine Girl

      Consequences will never be the same!

      Jan 26, 2011 at 4:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   unholyghost2003 bang

    With her email address available to me I promise you I would not be able to find a Spam-Bot I didn’t like. “V1@gr@” at half retail value? sign me up for two in case I miss the first email!

    Jan 25, 2011 at 10:58 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   shwo! bang

      She already said “something came up,” so no V1@gr@ needed.

      Jan 25, 2011 at 11:04 pm   rating: 24  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   Canthz_B bang

      I NEVER quit when “something comes up”, not until after someone “goes down” at least!

      Jan 25, 2011 at 11:56 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.3   Cake Train bang

      maybe she just felt unfaithful when “something came up” and she still had an entire class “flooding her box”

      Jan 26, 2011 at 11:21 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   chrys

    Her parents had unprotected sex and that was not a good thing.

    Jan 25, 2011 at 11:01 pm   rating: 34  small thumbs up

     
  • #6   shwo! bang

    “…and that is not a good thing.” Especially for the poor soul at the FCC who gets the complaint. Unless they like a good laugh.

    Jan 25, 2011 at 11:03 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Cake Train bang

      Looks like the only form she could possibly use is “Form 1088G – Call or Message to Wireless Device
      (Cell Phone or Pager) Complaint
      ” and even then she would have to have signed up her cell phone’s e-mail address to the group and the e-mails would have to classify as “commercial communications”

      Jan 26, 2011 at 11:06 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #6.2   The Elf

      Thumbed for research I was unwilling to do!

      Jan 26, 2011 at 11:27 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Nahhh bang

    Dear Quitter:

    Good Thing™ is my trademarked property. I will be reporting you to the FTC.

    M. Stewart

    Jan 25, 2011 at 11:35 pm   rating: 22  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Canthz_B bang

    Little known fact (because I just made it up), “something came up” is the most frequently used reason for dropping classes during the Add/Drop period of a semester.
    Usually it means “I don’t understand a damned thing that’s going on in that classroom and I’m destined to flunk! Is it too late to get into Pottery 101?”

    Jan 26, 2011 at 12:07 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Potter_B

      Don’t diss Pottery 101. It takes skill to throw, and some time to master technique so that your clay doesn’t collapse on the wheel, and many people give up because of that.

      Now I teach Art Appreciation, and _that_ class is what you should enroll in if you can’t cut it in regular classes.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 7:50 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      Also if you are pining to be reunited with a deceased loved one!

      Jan 26, 2011 at 7:58 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   sunshynegrll

      Hey now, don’t diss Art Appreciation. It takes years of hard work and concentration to appreciate some ‘art’.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 8:10 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   clumber

      My GoTo course when the classes i wanted were listed as full was always “Greco-Roman Gods and Myths”. I probably registered for that course 8 or 9 times but never taking it since I could “puppydog eyes” my way into the full classes and then drop that one.

      Against my better judgment I am a mod on a yahoo group, and we get this sort of hoity unsub demand probably weekly. Even though the very email they used to reply has large text unsub instructions…

      Jan 26, 2011 at 8:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Canthz_B bang

      clumber, I always jumped at any history course, you can interpret that in almost any way and be rewarded just for having a new take on things…you don’t have to be right…like in a math or English class! LOL

      Jan 26, 2011 at 8:53 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.6   anglophile bang

      I always felt any 100′s level Sociology was a good bet. What? Rich people tend to vote conservatively? You don’t say.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 10:00 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.7   anglophile bang

      Harry Potter 101, on the other hand, should be doable for anyone who was able to get admitted to the college.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 10:02 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   FeRD bang

    Ugh. People like this shrill letter-writer are the bane of the technology world. (This letter, alone, should explain the previous P-AN entry for anyone who doesn’t yet feel their sysadmin’s pain.) Every problem or frustration, mostly due to their own lack of comprehension, becomes a federal case that they think can only be solved by bullying and threatening their way to satisfaction.

    It annoys me when I’m on the receiving end, and it annoys me even more watching people I know subjecting other poor, innocent techs to the same treatment. Eventually, after watching them scream and rant on the phone for an hour and get absolutely nowhere, I just can’t take it anymore. So I end up having to rip the phone out of their hand, spend 5 minutes explaining the situation sanely and calmly to the person on the othe end, and suddenly everything’s sorted out… as if by magic!

    Jan 26, 2011 at 1:03 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   FeRD bang

      (Granted, quite frequently the solution requires at least a minimal level of participation on my part. That’s what the ranters and ravers seem to have the biggest problem coping with. They’d rather spend an hour screaming and yelling to anyone and everyone who’ll listen, demanding that they be given what they want, than have to learn something about how they can take care of it themselves.

      Embrace the empowering freedom of self-service, everyone… over time you may even grow to love it. I know, personally, the most frustrating thing for me is when I encounter a company or service where I can’t do something for myself, and actually have to talk to a representative to get what I want. Fortunately, that’s becoming extremely rare nowadays.)

      …Biggest. Parenthetical. Note. EVAR! :)

      Jan 26, 2011 at 1:14 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   park rose

      Yet, FeRD! you still need your PAN interaction.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 7:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   FeRD bang

      Oh, sure! But if I’m not wasting my time on hold and/or explaining my problems to customer service reps, I have more time to spend exchanging bon mots with all of you! :D

      Jan 26, 2011 at 7:26 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   FeRD bang

    Oh, yeah: Extra 100 point bonus if the class in question is a Communications course, or if that’s her major. :)

    Jan 26, 2011 at 1:22 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   flawed

      Am I the only one who NOW has the urge to write a passive-aggressive note to FeRD! ??? : /

      Jan 26, 2011 at 3:27 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   anglophile bang

      The urge to write passive-aggressive notes to anyone is probably the most shared common trait among us all.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 10:04 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   Flip-Flappin'

      A little from column A (write a PA note to FeRD); a little from column B (point out to FeRD that it’s “bons mot,” not bon mots”). I know this from watching Gilmore Girls.

      And…go:

      Jan 26, 2011 at 2:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   FeRD bang

      Sorry, F-F, but Lorelai and Rory done steered ya wrong!

      The French phrase “bon mot” translates as “good word”, so pluralizing at the bon makes no sense at all. (Goods word?)

      Wikipedia — which I trust more than the Gilmore Girls, in this instance, only because it says I’m right ;) — lists the plural form in English as either bons mots or bon mots. The correct French pluralization would be bons mots, it appears.
      http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/bon_mot

      Jan 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Flip-Flappin'

      Shit; *research,* FF; *research*!
      [tearfully runs to burn all her Gilmore Girl DVDs]

      Can’t help mentioning that Wikipedia is also the source that once described early Roman warrior armor as including “a cheese hat.”

      Jan 27, 2011 at 9:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   AndreaC

    I have a question: what are the odds of “that’s not a good thing” becoming the “it was f*cking delicious” of 2011?

    Please say they are good.

    Jan 26, 2011 at 7:31 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Russian

      I dunno, I don’t feel it’s quite funny enough! Maybe the buzzword of the month though?

      Jan 26, 2011 at 11:05 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.2   The Elf

      Getting another “fucking delicious” meme going will surely invoke WOTV’s wrath, and that’s not a good thing.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 11:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.3   TKD

      Bad e-mail you!

      I’d like to nominate “Bad ___ you!” for 2011.
      Bad soap you!
      Bad IT question you!
      Bad spit in my diet coke you!

      Hmmm, this has possiblilities. Or it could just be too easy. We don’t want easy. It might allow the riff-raff who are not up to the high intellectual standards of PAN to participate.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 12:16 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.4   AndreaC

      Well TDK, I have to give you that. PAN standards are pretty strict. A lot of things can be not good things, but f*king delicious? It takes some wicked wit.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 7:56 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #11.5   Canthz_B bang

      Better not push it…”for the greater good”.

      That’s an old suggestion by “Wandering Penguin”. ;-)

      Jan 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #12   Potter_B

    That Yahoo group was f*cking delicious.

    Jan 26, 2011 at 7:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      What? That’s not art worth appreciating! LOL

      Jan 26, 2011 at 8:04 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   WMDKitty

      That’s not a good thing.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 10:39 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   The Elf

    The best is when you get an email like this, and then someone uses the reply all function to tell them the inappropriateness of the email, or that they are the wrong person to ask, or to give instruction. Then someone else uses reply all to tell them the same, not seeing the first reply all. About a dozen reply alls later, someone gets the brilliant idea to use reply all to tell everyone to stop using reply all. It only ends when we’re all in mail jail.

    Jan 26, 2011 at 8:23 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   clumber

      Sadly, TheElf, it never ends.

      (crawls under desk and quietly sobs)

      Jan 26, 2011 at 8:47 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.2   divaandwriter bang

      The sad thing is that students who can’t even figure out how to use email somehow think they will get through college and become the leaders of tomorrow … and they often do. I weep for the human race.

      Jan 26, 2011 at 9:14 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

       
    • #13.3   clumber

      Even more maddening is when various OUT OF OFFICE replies start sending notices out to each other, and then someone again does “reply all” to make note of that, several others post “ditto” or “Me too” and soon I’m off to the clock tower again…

      Jan 26, 2011 at 10:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   ISpy

    While I feel everyone’s frustration, I’m a big fan of the Delete key. I have more important (PA) things to do.

    Jan 26, 2011 at 11:06 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Miss Ash

    Awesome. The FDA is scary!

    Jan 26, 2011 at 11:12 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Other Julie

    The only way this could have been better is if she had threatened FOIA requests.

    Jan 26, 2011 at 2:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   oi

    You have to visit this. Janice is going to report it to facebook!
    http://www.lamebook.com/social-notworking/

    roflmao!
    arhm.

    Jan 26, 2011 at 3:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Divvitar

    With warmest regards, please go to registrar to drop the class and click “unsubscribe” at the bottom of the email, moron. Please stop flooding *my* inbox with your ignorant threats, which is not a good thing.

    Fuck You.

    With warmest regards,
    Divvitar

    Jan 26, 2011 at 7:23 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   Daniel

    She’s got to be majoring in Communications, right?

    Jan 27, 2011 at 3:05 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   VZG

    I got a lot of those messages from a club mailing list once… and then I stupidly tried to help by copying and pasting the part of the e-mail with the instructions on how to unsubscribe. Instead of looking for it in their own e-mails, they all just copied everything I’d copied and unsubscribed me, over and over and over again.

    I sometimes wonder how they got by at our college, since there was a lot of computer use required for every class.

    Jan 30, 2011 at 8:00 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     

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