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Bed, breakfast & backhanded compliments

January 27th, 2011 · 41 comments

At a B&B by the Norfolk coast, our submitter Liz was amused by this (possibly serious, possibly not?) guestbook comment — one I hope the proprietors are able work into their next ex-con advertising campaign.

Meanwhile, Amie and Tim spotted this guestbook note while checking out from their hotel in Iceland. “We don’t know who Linda is or what she did, but…wow.” (Perhaps she could seek some support from Except Graham or Especially Deborah?)

Except for Linda everyone was terribly nice and helpful!

related: But you’re too nice not to be a Christian!

FILED UNDER: "customer service" · backhanded compliment · food

41 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Talia

    Geez, Linda. All we wanted were a few extra soaps and lotions. Is that too much to ask?!

    Jan 27, 2011 at 7:32 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Nunavut Guy

      Dam, one speeding ticket in Alabama and I really needed the lotion.

      Jan 27, 2011 at 9:22 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   The Elf

      It puts the lotion in the basket. It does this whenever it’s told.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 6:41 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   clumber

      Don’t you make me hurt your dog!

      Jan 29, 2011 at 4:46 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #2   ClearlyDemented

    Is that first note implying prison food is really that good or did he lose his mama while he was in the slammer?

    Jan 27, 2011 at 7:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #3   Smiley4099

    That first one brings back memories of the crime-themed hotel.
    At least, I think it was crime-themed. Otherwise, that chalk outline on the floor just got weird.

    Jan 27, 2011 at 8:01 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #4   farcical aquatic ceremony


    Cuz’ I heard she can’t help her bad behavior.

    Jan 27, 2011 at 8:22 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   Canthz_B bang

      Max von Sydow only said that because she wouldn’t put out. Probably just said it out of frustration.
      That priest outfit usually worked well for him with kids.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 5:37 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   unsatisfied

      no, it’s Linda McCartney – but, she’s not much help because she’s dead.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 3:08 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   park rose

      Linda Blair really knew how to turn heads.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 4:06 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.4   The Gecko Hunter

      But her guacamole always tasted funny.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 5:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   zenvelo

    I love there are two hotel entries for the 16th/17th. I don’t read the language, but I bet it’s a comment about sharing a room with strangers.

    Jan 27, 2011 at 10:35 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #6   Divvitar

    Maybe the first guy was in one of those low-security tennis prisons for non-violent offenders. Linda was one of the screws there.

    Jan 27, 2011 at 11:16 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #7   Silence

    Photo #2 doesn’t show the note below it: Had a wonderful time, except for those creepy people in 204 who kept throwing their dirty sheets and towels in my arms. Is that an Icelandic custom I don’t know about? –Linda Matheson

    Jan 28, 2011 at 12:08 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #8   Divvitar

    I doubt the testamonial in #1 is going to make the brochure…

    Jan 28, 2011 at 2:30 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #9   JEK

    That first one need not be seen as a “backhanded” compliment. Note he didn’t say “it’s the best food since I was IN prison,” but “since I GOT OUT of prison.” Which doesn’t imply prison food is good…see? He’s comparing the food at the B&B to all the other food he’s had since he GOT OUT of prison. So unless he got out the previous day or something, that is a compliment.

    Jan 28, 2011 at 3:34 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   FeRD bang

      Thanks for clearing that up, Captain Pedantic.

      …No, no, that’s a compliment! Really!

      Jan 28, 2011 at 3:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #9.2   JEK

      Logic not welcomed…message received.

      Jan 29, 2011 at 2:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.3   anglophile bang

      It’s not the logic that’s the problem. It was the blinding obviousness of the logic.

      Jan 29, 2011 at 3:23 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    The way to an ex-con’s heart is through his stomach.
    If he attacks you in a fit of post-incarceration PTSD induced rage, the way to his heart is through his sternum.

    Jan 28, 2011 at 3:38 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Nunavut Guy

      What’s the way to a smaller ex-cons stomach?(He asked knowingly)

      Jan 28, 2011 at 5:53 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   Canthz_B bang

      You back-doored that joke in there just right! :-P

      Jan 28, 2011 at 6:07 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   The Elf

      ….and that’s not a good thing.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 6:45 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Nunavut Guy

      I …ummm ….heard about it from some guy at the He Man Hetro Guys’ Gym….really………..

      Jan 28, 2011 at 2:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   Nunavut Guy


      Jan 28, 2011 at 2:15 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #11   anglophile bang

    Oh the first guy is one of THOSE guests. Upon checking in, even though the receptionist was standing right there smiling at him, this guy rang the bell on the desk. Hahahahaha. Upon being told what room number he had, the guy winked and said “so you know where to find me”. What a card! Walking to his room, he passed another room being cleaned by a maid and asked if she “came with the room, wink wink”. Such a funny guy! At breakfast, which is clearly a buffet style, he asked loudly for some elaborate dish not present. Eggs Benedict? Sir, I protest, you make me laugh so. And at check out, he very seriously said he had a complaint. When asked by the concerned staff member what was wrong, he said, “I have to pay.” He might also have mimed that he lost his wallet. Oh, sir. You and your hijinks. Did anyone ever tell you you are so funny?

    Jan 28, 2011 at 5:32 am   rating: 33  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Canthz_B bang

      Glo, I thought it was a blast! I really enjoyed my stay, and your fake laughter was the best I’ve ever experienced.

      Damn! You’re good!!

      *I can see now I need a whole new repertoire of stock jokes!*

      Jan 28, 2011 at 5:44 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   divaandwriter bang

      Anglophile, I think you got it right. It also sounds like you have firsthand experience with this. If so, you have my sympathy.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 9:20 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   anglophile bang

      I appreciate that, diva.

      CB, I promise to laugh at all your really lame jokes if you ever come to stay with me. You’ll never know I’m doing this :roll: inside. ;)

      Jan 28, 2011 at 5:25 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Canthz_B bang

      Glo, your positive attitude will be favorably reflected in the tips the staff receive while I’m at your Olde Inne.

      As an added bonus, I’ll stop my “I’ve got a tip for ya…don’t (add lame advice here)” jokes. ;-)

      Jan 28, 2011 at 7:53 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   Mike

      That food was …. MUST …. NOT …. POST ….

      Jan 29, 2011 at 12:45 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   Nunavut Guy

      Gee and all that time I thought I was being funny.

      Jan 29, 2011 at 6:37 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #11.7   anglophile bang

      Yes, dear. You’re very funny, dear.

      Jan 29, 2011 at 10:12 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #12   Daniel

    Linda drank her husband’s Gatorade, which clearly did not have her name on it, and was intended to be used for a hangover. And the cycle begins …

    Jan 28, 2011 at 8:19 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Nunavut Guy

      Just keep your hands off that triple shot of Jack I have hidden behind the coffee cups.

      Jan 28, 2011 at 12:37 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Nunavut Guy

      Holy cow!! I just looked up and saw that your handle is Daniel………..quick batman to the corn mash!!

      Jan 28, 2011 at 1:57 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #13   MitziBell

    Are we sure the first one doesn’t read “since coming out OR prison”?

    I’m imagining a gay inmate who was hoping for different sausages from the ones provided by the prison commissary ….

    Jan 28, 2011 at 6:00 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #14   Odious

    I tend to write OTW comments in those books. Can’t help myself. Have written the prison comment myself a coupla times.

    Jan 28, 2011 at 7:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #15   Niko

    Made me think of that one guestbook submission at our hotel in Niagara Falls that was so awful I felt sorry for the owners…

    Jan 29, 2011 at 10:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   CuriousDuckling bang

    Hold on. Who took really good care of Paul? Was it Joyce? Was it the hotel? In what sense was he taken care of? Are we talking a spa weekend or something more sinister? So many questions left unanswered.

    Jan 29, 2011 at 6:13 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #17   joma

    Funny.. where I work there is also a Linda, who is very rude and unhelpful.

    Feb 3, 2011 at 12:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up


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