If you’ve ever been tempted to go through an off-limits “staff only” entrance, you might consider whether that rush of forbidden adrenaline is worth the possibility of entering a wormhole to an alternate “universe” where nothing is as it seems…even the most basic rituals of hygiene!
And if you think you can escape the way you came in…you’re sadly mistaken.
(“Thanks” to Pam in Texas, Tommy in Ohio, Lisa in Michigan, and Victor in Puerto Rico for their “submissions!”)
related: The ladies room is for “women”
32 responses so far ↓
#1
Smiley4099
They’re not willing to risk non-staff members using You-Know-Whose Dr. Scholls and marketing’s Dawn.
Jan 30, 2011 at 6:01 pm rating: 9
#2
Jesse
What the hell else would you do with soap from the soap dispenser anyways?
Jan 30, 2011 at 6:04 pm rating: 0
#3
Jynical
By “wash” we mean lick clean with kittens. By “soap” we mean taco sauce. Bon appetit!
Jan 30, 2011 at 6:18 pm rating: 14
#4
zenvelo
since women aren’t equipped with a “Staff” I guess they use a different rest room.
Jan 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm rating: 6
#5
Divvitar
That last one reminds me of a Steven Wright joke. “I live at the end of a one-way, dead-end street. I don’t know how I got there.” Entrance Only…Do Not Enter. Why? What’s in there? Hell? The “Twilight Zone?” Now you’ve piqued my curiosity! I have to see what is beyond that entrance!
Please “Wash Hands” with “Soap” before handling your “Staff.”
Thanks,
The Management.
Jan 30, 2011 at 7:54 pm rating: 15
#6
BunnyDee
Which “employee” must wash his or her hands? And why only one?
Jan 30, 2011 at 8:19 pm rating: 10
#7
shwo!
Rest Room is for “Staph” only. Kitchen is for Strep. Thank You!
Jan 30, 2011 at 9:17 pm rating: 26
#8
Liz
I’m a little concerned as to why anyone would consider soap (or, I’m sorry, “soap”) an inconvenience.
Except for it not being soap at all, I can’t think of any explanations.
Jan 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm rating: 4
#9
Who? Me?
I’m pretty sure that second one has a typo. It should read
EMPROYEE MUST
“WASH HANDS”
Jan 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm rating: 1
#10
butt
I love Unnecessary Quotes!
Jan 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm rating: 1
#11
Nahhh
fnord
Jan 30, 2011 at 11:51 pm rating: 1
#12
Canthz_B
Restrooms are for Staff only. Rod, you’ll find no comfort here.
Jan 31, 2011 at 6:17 am rating: 14
#13
H for Toy
The third sign is actually above the TV where they are playing perpetual reruns of the cheesy 70′s show. I can understand how that might be an inconvenience to some people.
Jan 31, 2011 at 7:22 am rating: 0
#14
Miss Ash
I happen to “love” gratuitous “punctuation”!
Jan 31, 2011 at 10:14 am rating: 0
#15
aaa
So, does “washing your hands” just include turning on the water and pretending to wash your hands, like George does?
Jan 31, 2011 at 10:25 am rating: 0
#16
Harmy G
Too obvious to find?
http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/
Jan 31, 2011 at 10:48 am rating: 0
#17
Harmy G
http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/
Too obvious?
Jan 31, 2011 at 10:49 am rating: 0
#18
John L
HAHA! Wow, I actually know where the Employee Must “Wash Hands” sign is!
Oh dear, now my brain’s reminding me that I know where it is because I ate there a week ago…
Jan 31, 2011 at 12:59 pm rating: 0
#19
reyelee
Because they can’t leave via the door, the “Staff” must “wash hands” with “soap” FOREVER. Mwahahaha
Feb 1, 2011 at 12:51 pm rating: 0
#20
blondie
My boss does this. English is his second language, and he think quotes are for emphasis, like an underline or bold. Emails with instructions were pretty confusing for a while until I figured this out.
Feb 14, 2011 at 12:27 pm rating: 0
#21
IBear
Technically the first sign is grammatically correct, as it references the fact that “Staff” is clearly stated in the sign above it. The punctuation isn’t gratuitous; in fact, NOT including the quotes would just be simple repetition, so it’s arguable that the point (that it ALREADY says “Staff”) would be lost on the reader if the quotation marks were omitted.
Feb 22, 2011 at 1:59 pm rating: 1
#22
Patrycja
Well, to be honest I found this pictures as well as whole that situation really funny. But I have to agree that employee have to wash their hands after using the toilet. It is important but still only a few people realize the quantity of the germs and bacteria which are on our hands. Apart from that I think that the soap dispenser here is a perfect solution because of the fact that it contributes to getting rid of bacteria and it is much more effective and hygienic than an ordinary bar of soap.
Feb 24, 2011 at 3:22 pm rating: 0
#23
Wed
Hey! I actually saw (and snapped my own photo!) that sign that says “Employee must ‘wash hands.’”
It’s at a pizza joint, haha.
Feb 25, 2011 at 1:09 am rating: 0
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