“Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

January 30th, 2011 · 32 comments

If you’ve ever been tempted to go through an off-limits “staff only” entrance, you might consider whether that rush of forbidden adrenaline is worth the possibility of entering a wormhole to an alternate “universe” where nothing is as it seems…even the most basic rituals of hygiene!

Restroom is for

Employee must "wash hands"

This is

And if you think you can escape the way you came in…you’re sadly mistaken.

Entrance only: DO NOT ENTER

(“Thanks” to Pam in Texas, Tommy in Ohio, Lisa in Michigan, and Victor in Puerto Rico for their “submissions!”)

related: The ladies room is for “women”

FILED UNDER: bathroom · unnecessary "quotation marks" · washing your hands · WTF?


32 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Smiley4099

    They’re not willing to risk non-staff members using You-Know-Whose Dr. Scholls and marketing’s Dawn.

    Jan 30, 2011 at 6:01 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   Jesse

    What the hell else would you do with soap from the soap dispenser anyways?

    Jan 30, 2011 at 6:04 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   RedDelicious

      Nothing, when the soap dispenser in the picture doesn’t actually have soap in it.

      Jan 30, 2011 at 6:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   strangelove bang

      Well, since “wash hands” is in quote marks, it must be a euphemism for something else employees are required to do, apparently involving the dispenser. And you’re assuming it’s soap, it could be “soap.”

      Jan 30, 2011 at 9:39 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Jynical

    By “wash” we mean lick clean with kittens. By “soap” we mean taco sauce. Bon appetit!

    Jan 30, 2011 at 6:18 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Clumber

      Awwwww! Now I feel all warm and fuzzy. And filthy… must “wash” “hands”…..

      Feb 1, 2011 at 8:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   zenvelo

    since women aren’t equipped with a “Staff” I guess they use a different rest room.

    Jan 30, 2011 at 7:18 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   FeRD bang

      Or they just use Elizabeth Hurley.

      Jan 30, 2011 at 7:42 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   Divvitar

    That last one reminds me of a Steven Wright joke. “I live at the end of a one-way, dead-end street. I don’t know how I got there.” Entrance Only…Do Not Enter. Why? What’s in there? Hell? The “Twilight Zone?” Now you’ve piqued my curiosity! I have to see what is beyond that entrance!

    Please “Wash Hands” with “Soap” before handling your “Staff.”

    Thanks,

    The Management.

    Jan 30, 2011 at 7:54 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      Before and after handling your “Staff”! LOL

      Jan 31, 2011 at 6:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   BunnyDee

    Which “employee” must wash his or her hands? And why only one? ;)

    Jan 30, 2011 at 8:19 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Rachel of Cyberia

      They only have enough “soap” for one employee per day. It’s based on a lottery system.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 6:14 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   shwo! bang

    Rest Room is for “Staph” only. Kitchen is for Strep. Thank You!

    Jan 30, 2011 at 9:17 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   Liz

    I’m a little concerned as to why anyone would consider soap (or, I’m sorry, “soap”) an inconvenience.

    Except for it not being soap at all, I can’t think of any explanations.

    Jan 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   KG

      Hand sanitizer is often dispensed from the same type of dispenser. I know my local hospital has similar signs up, marking which dispensers are sanitizers and which are soap.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 10:06 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   Cake Train bang

      Where’s the got damb soap? I don’t see any fucking soap at the sink, there’s just this stupid dispenser with flowery smelling goo in it, when I wash my hands I want to use SOAP not some gross ass slime from Mars, holy shit I’m going to fucking rage if there isn’t soap here on Monday.

      This is “soap”
      Sorry for the inconvenience

      Jan 31, 2011 at 12:15 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   Who? Me?

    I’m pretty sure that second one has a typo. It should read

    EMPROYEE MUST
    “WASH HANDS”

    Jan 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #10   butt

    I love Unnecessary Quotes!

    Jan 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #11   Nahhh bang

    fnord

    Jan 30, 2011 at 11:51 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Canthz_B bang

    Restrooms are for Staff only. Rod, you’ll find no comfort here.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 6:17 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   H for Toy

    The third sign is actually above the TV where they are playing perpetual reruns of the cheesy 70′s show. I can understand how that might be an inconvenience to some people.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 7:22 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   Miss Ash

    I happen to “love” gratuitous “punctuation”!

    Jan 31, 2011 at 10:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   aaa bang

    So, does “washing your hands” just include turning on the water and pretending to wash your hands, like George does?

    Jan 31, 2011 at 10:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Harmy G

    Too obvious to find?

    http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

    Jan 31, 2011 at 10:48 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Harmy G

    http://www.unnecessaryquotes.com/

    Too obvious?

    Jan 31, 2011 at 10:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   John L

    HAHA! Wow, I actually know where the Employee Must “Wash Hands” sign is!

    Oh dear, now my brain’s reminding me that I know where it is because I ate there a week ago…

    Jan 31, 2011 at 12:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #19   reyelee bang

    Because they can’t leave via the door, the “Staff” must “wash hands” with “soap” FOREVER. Mwahahaha

    Feb 1, 2011 at 12:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   blondie

    My boss does this. English is his second language, and he think quotes are for emphasis, like an underline or bold. Emails with instructions were pretty confusing for a while until I figured this out.

    Feb 14, 2011 at 12:27 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   IBear

    Technically the first sign is grammatically correct, as it references the fact that “Staff” is clearly stated in the sign above it. The punctuation isn’t gratuitous; in fact, NOT including the quotes would just be simple repetition, so it’s arguable that the point (that it ALREADY says “Staff”) would be lost on the reader if the quotation marks were omitted.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 1:59 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   Patrycja

    Well, to be honest I found this pictures as well as whole that situation really funny. But I have to agree that employee have to wash their hands after using the toilet. It is important but still only a few people realize the quantity of the germs and bacteria which are on our hands. Apart from that I think that the soap dispenser here is a perfect solution because of the fact that it contributes to getting rid of bacteria and it is much more effective and hygienic than an ordinary bar of soap.

    Feb 24, 2011 at 3:22 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   Wed

    Hey! I actually saw (and snapped my own photo!) that sign that says “Employee must ‘wash hands.’”

    It’s at a pizza joint, haha.

    Feb 25, 2011 at 1:09 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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