Women: Have your pole dancing classes empowered you too much?

January 31st, 2011 · 50 comments

I really hope to have the opportunity to work the coinage “pole vulture” into conversation this week.

Apparently, they’re a serious problem at Jessica’s pole dancing studio of choice in Sydney, Australia.

DON'T BE A POLE VULTURE: Please let the other class finish up (completely!) before choosing a pole! And if you happen to get a non spinny pole, thank the Lord that you are getting more of a workout!!!!! And will be better prepared for the real world, where poles NEVER have ball bearings!

related: Yo, sweaty beasts!

FILED UNDER: etiquette · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gym · most popular notes of 2011


50 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jessica

    The bottle of hand sanitizer is a nice touch.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:15 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   shwo! bang

      I’m not so sure that’s hand sanitizer…

      Jan 31, 2011 at 1:19 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #1.2   Liz

      I thought it was a mushroom at first, which is really disgusting when you think of poles that have been used many, many times.

      (OK, let the sexual innuendos begin!)

      Jan 31, 2011 at 9:12 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #2   Danny

    I’ve been missing out – the part of the “real world” I generally hang out in doesn’t even have poles, let alone poles with bearings. :/

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:17 pm   rating: 37  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   shwo! bang

      I guess I have to return that compass I bought you.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 6:59 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   anglophile bang

    I bet the designer of that clip art never knew what heights his little vulture would achieve out there in the real world.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:18 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

     
  • #4   shwo! bang

    Which pole is spinnier: North or South?

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:19 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   AuntyBron

      If the south pole spins and no one is there to see it am I still a pole vulture?

      Jan 31, 2011 at 4:00 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #4.2   liddy

      …or, if you are in the northern hemisphere, does one spin around the pole in a clockwise or counter-clockwise direction?

      Jan 31, 2011 at 5:50 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #5   shwo! bang

    I choose Lech Walesa, if the working class is done with him.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:20 pm   rating: 38  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   McGoo

      Solid gold!

      Jan 31, 2011 at 4:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Ten

      Is he a spinny pole or a non spinny pole?

      Jan 31, 2011 at 10:21 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Seth

    The bottle of hand-sanitizer makes this picture

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   AuntyBron

      It’s not hand sanitizer. It’s K-Y jelly for the non-spinny poles.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 4:01 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   maxe337

    Maybe I am dense. I have just got in from a monotonous job but how is this PA?

    I like it though, Maybe I could be the first male pole dancer yay!

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:25 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   Russian

      See ‘WTF?’, above.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 2:50 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #8   Hawley

    Because everyone enrolled at the pole dancing school is there to prepare for the real world. Or are they referring to “The Real World” on MTV? Because that would probably be accurate…

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:31 pm   rating: 27  small thumbs up

     
  • #9   Turd Ferguson

    Hmm….Pole Vulture…sounds like the new Pickle Sniffer

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   liddy

      this is totally off the subject, but Mr. Ferguson, did you get your posting name from a Norm McDonald skit? Inquiring minds need to know!

      Jan 31, 2011 at 5:53 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   kat, a falling star

      It’s from Anchorman.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 6:47 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.3   sleeps

      Is it? I thought I had memorized all the lines from Anchorman. Pretty sure it’s just from the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skit.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 12:15 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.4   liddy

      ..yeah, I thought I was going crazy so I had to google it . Turns out it is an SNL jeopardy skit with Norm McDonald playing Burt Reynolds who writes his name as “Turd Ferguson”. Hilarious skit, be sure and watch it if you haven’t. Either way, the name has great beginnings….

      Feb 1, 2011 at 8:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   aaa bang

    Why does that vulture’s gut look like a hairy ass?

    Jan 31, 2011 at 1:42 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Crisp Flows

      A perfect double entendere, especially when mixed with the term “pole vulture”.

      Jan 31, 2011 at 2:46 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   AuntieAims

      I was thinking it looked like a hairy scrotum…

      Jan 31, 2011 at 5:43 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   AuntyBron

      Ah, Auntie – we do think alike. I was actually thinking that I’ve seen bats with naughty bits kinda like that, more hair though.

      And since when do vultures have hair?

      Feb 1, 2011 at 12:07 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.4   Canthz_B bang

      “…TO THE BAT POLE!”

      Feb 1, 2011 at 7:14 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.5   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

      This is the only site on the entire Internet where you can learn what bat scrotums look like.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 11:30 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   CuriousDuckling bang

    You see, that’s precisely what makes the real world so damn scary: non spinny poles.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 2:36 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Crisp Flows

    Spinny poles are the best!

    Jan 31, 2011 at 2:44 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #13   TippingCows

    And to think that there’s a Vulture Crew, as well. Or is it just a new band from L.A. that spells it “Vulcher Crue”?

    Jan 31, 2011 at 4:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Danny

      You leave Vince Neil out of this!

      Jan 31, 2011 at 4:41 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #14   Quite Contrary

    Sadly, the only person I know who takes pole dancing classes looks a little bit too much like the vulture clip art. You are welcome for that image.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 4:26 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

     
  • #15   Nunavut Guy

    Pole vultures…….the new cougars.God bless ‘em.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 5:46 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    Don’t choose a pole until the previous class is complete. Just circle them greedily like a good little buzzard.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 6:44 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #17   Canthz_B bang

    While I know it’s wrong, that vulture puts me in mind of a Republican Senator.
    Well, that and pole dancers both make me think of Republican Senators.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 6:57 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

     
  • #18   Divvitar

    I just had a thought how they could liven up mass transit…those poles are usually empty, afterall!

    Jan 31, 2011 at 8:17 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang

      And they lack ball bearings. This should be corrected post-haste!

      Subway, eat fresh!

      Jan 31, 2011 at 10:08 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #18.2   divaandwriter bang

      That would be one way to get more men to ride mass transit.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 9:12 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   Clevegal42

    I can see why they would want the spinny poles. I hear the tips are better on the spinny poles.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 8:18 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #20   lupanime bang

    To Do List:

    - attend pole dancing classes (checked)

    - get a non spinning pole (cheched)

    - thank the Lord for getting more workout (checked)

    - being better prepared for the real world (checked)

    - find a pole with ball bearings (pending)

    - taking grandma to church AND pole dancing classes (pending)

    Jan 31, 2011 at 9:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Canthz_B bang

    In the real world, all “dancers’” poles should have ball bearings.

    After all, there’s nothing easier than a dizzy slut.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 11:16 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #22   coffee yogurt

    I so have seen poles in real life bearing balls. Yes, I have.

    Jan 31, 2011 at 11:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

     
  • #23   CincyCapell

    When and how did it become acceptable, much less desirable, to use a stripper pole? The hillbillies and ghetto-ites have turned our nation into a true Idiocracy.

    Feb 1, 2011 at 1:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   TKD

      I could not agree with you more. It is despicable what “those people” have done to such a wonderful country. That is why I am going to stay here in the good ole US of A, where inclusion, tolerance and moral fiber have reigned free for centuries.

      Feb 1, 2011 at 7:22 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #24   Grant

    Wow. They really take fireman training seriously over there.

    Feb 1, 2011 at 4:15 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   GhostWriter bang

    Why do they even have the non-spinny poles? Every time I get stuck with one, the top skin layer on my palms peels off like a slice of cheese. Thank the Lord for dermis, I guess…

    Feb 1, 2011 at 12:54 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #26   punkypower

    “Dear Slut, I give thee thy gift of the non-spinny pole and therefore, better abs. This will surely lead to better tips from fat, sweaty old men in the future. Love, The Lord.”

    Feb 2, 2011 at 7:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #27   A Former Entertainer

    Gee, could have fooled me. Multiple places I’ve worked had spinny poles.

    One even had a spinny pole by dint of it being loose in its housing, not on purpose.

    But several poles ‘pon which I doffed my clothes had a proper spinning mechanism. Maybe it’s a West Coast thing. Or maybe the management of this particular pole dancing studio just want to appear more clueful about the real strippa life than they are, which I hear is standard for pole dancing studios. Snerk.

    Feb 3, 2011 at 12:39 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

     
  • #28   sdf

    do strip clubs in montréal count as “real world”? because some of them actually DO have spinning poles…

    Feb 7, 2011 at 6:57 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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