Entries from January 2011
Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”
At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.
As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”
Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.
related: The Jake Issues
Tags: Cleveland · hygiene · questionable logic · that's unsanitary · TMI · to/too · WTF?
Hannah spotted this warning (and the accompanying Fire-Marshal takedown) posted at the University of Alaska art building in Juneau. On the ground floor.
“It’s the ground floor; only an idiot would use the stairs to escape a fire. There’s a door over there -> - if it’s on fire – <-There’s a door over there.”
“WHERE’S YOUR IMAGINATION?”
“DUH, HE SOLD IT TO PAY FOR COLLEGE.”
“What are you talking about? I’m imagining students cramming into the stairwell per this sign’s advice, just to get upstairs and see an identical sign directing them back down into the flames.”
Adding to the sign’s absurdity, Hannah says, is the fact that “the building is only two stories, and built at the base of an embankment. The upper floor can be accessed by the street on the upper level, and the lower level can be accessed either by stairs from the upper level or by at least four exit doors on the lower level.”
Tags: Alaska · college life · elevator · questionable logic · saga · smartass · that's a fire hazard
“Our receptionist is uber-paranoid about her stuff getting stolen, despite the fact that we are one of the rare offices where fridge theft isn’t a problem,” writes our anonymous submitter in South Carolina. “Though I’d be too scared to do it myself — the woman has a very nasty, underhanded side — I love that someone else decided to have a little fun with her.”
related: Who’s the smartass?
Tags: most popular notes of 2011 · office cop · office fridge · smartass
Just in case you were still under the impression that leaving an anonymous note will somehow allow you to maintain the moral high ground, take a look at this classic neighborly exchange from Drew‘s apartment building in Atlanta.
related: I hope your cat chokes
Tags: Atlanta · neighbors · noise · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · oh snap · rebuttals · TL;DR
Dan in Melbourne says he saw this sign while riding along a North Fitzroy bike path, which runs parallel to a park. Says Dan: “Now, I’ve owned a dog and I know how they like to roll in stinky things, but this it taking it to a new, super gross level.”
More gross than your dog rolling in/eating some other dog’s shit? Or stepping in a fresh pile of it yourself? I’m not sure I’m convinced. (Not that humans should be exempt from proper poop-scooping etiquette, of course.)
Personally, I’d like to imagine this as a triumphant act of payback on the part of a score-settling colon cancer survivor. (“This is for all the times I’ve stepped in your dogs’ crap. Enjoy!!”)
related: Do you want a doggy bag?
Tags: dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Melbourne · pleasantries as afterthought · shit · that's disgusting · Too good to be real?
I wouldn’t call these two PA notes passive-aggressive — just “pretty awful.”
First up, from St. John’s, Newfoundland:
Update: As commenter Reb points out: The “ad” from St. John’s is actually part of a Human Rights Commission campaign that’s trying to bring attention to discrimination like this; it’s not a real ad. Notice, for example, the lack of a phone number.
But this one, from Davisburg, Michigan is 100% real — and, as commenter James notes, not uncommon.
PLEASE DON’T PARK JAPANESE CARS IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE PARK THE DAMN THINGS IN JAPAN. I first posted this in my window in 1992. A lot of people still don’t get it. I remember one lady that got quite indignant after reading this years ago. It would be fitting for her unemployment to have run out and if you drive one, I hope that you are one of the next ones laid off. GRANT
(Thanks to Shawn in Canada and Sarah in Michigan for submitting!)
related: Dear Foreign Workers at the VW plant: we hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!
Tags: Canada · casual xenophobia · landlords and property managers · Michigan · misplaced patriotism · not so much passive-aggressive · parking · WTF?
Shawn in Pennsylvania found this oh-so-subtly guilt-trippy thank you note tucked inside his Sunday paper. (“Apparently our paper delivery person is hoping for bigger and better tips in 2011,” he says.)
related: If you don’t tip you’re racist
Tags: guilt trip · holiday spirit · newspaper · Pennsylvania · spelling and grammar police · tipping