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Less expensive (and more passive-aggressive) than having it towed

February 8th, 2011 · 76 comments

For all practical purposes, the way New York City handles vehicles parked on the wrong side of the street…

This vehicle violates N.Y.C. parking regulations. As a result, this street could not be properly cleaned. A cleaner New York is up to you! Remove with warm water and scraper. Please do not litter.

…really isn’t that different from the strategy employed by this creative vigilante in Illinois. (As always, just click the image to enlarge.)

[In peanut butter:] less expensive than having it towed [Smaller:] We are happy to oblige our friends and neighbors with the use of our lot, please ask in advance. Thanks.

“Remove with warm water”?” Yeah…good luck with that.

related: Can you dig it?

FILED UNDER: car · Illinois · New York · parking

76 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jim U

    I got one of those stickers once (in Reno, NV) supposedly for parking in a lot that I thought was a public lot. It asked me nicely to please not park there again. I was happy to oblige, but WHY ARE THOSE STICKERS SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS TO GET OFF? Why not just slip a regular piece of paper under the windshield?

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:30 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Diane


      Feb 8, 2011 at 8:20 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   me

      because most people don’t learn unless they have to pay either with towing fees or with time and hassle…

      Feb 9, 2011 at 9:43 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   The Elf

      Because paper can be “lost” or “blown away” and so the driver/owner “didn’t know”. By making sure you have to use lighter fluid to remove a sticker, they are making sure you got the freakin’ message already.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 10:34 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   TippingCows

      You can’t answer that question yourself?

      Let’s see … because if it’s THAT HARD TO get off you’ll likely not think of violating the parking rules again. Also, if you get multiples eventually it will obscure an entire window, etc. I know they can’t put it on your windshield (or at least that’s what I was told) but still, having a side window blocked off by stickers would make driving awkward (and possibly get you pulled over).

      Feb 9, 2011 at 2:23 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   DecaturPen

      Yikes, under the windshield? under the windshield wipers!

      Feb 9, 2011 at 3:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #2   Ask Your Dr. If Yaz is Right for You

    I love the peanut butter idea. I suppose feces would have just been plain ole’ aggressive…

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:32 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   pony girl

      I agree. I’d rather find PB on my car than find it towed. At least they didn’t use chunky.

      And bonus points to note writer for spelling ‘than’ correctly.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 1:54 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   Edwina the Defrocked Nun

      Right you are, Yaz. I thought that was feces. I think I’d prefer having it towed.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 11:31 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   TippingCows

      Oh what sad days are these when people get excited about others using the proper forms of “than” and “then”.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 2:24 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #2.4   bored@work

      If it were feces, I’m pretty sure noone would have used their finger to write in it. Admittedly, I could be wrong.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 2:40 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #2.5   unholyghost2003 bang

      If it were feces why wouldn’t they use what ever they used to apply the feces to write in it? I mean if they used their bare hands then they obviously don’t care about getting poo on their hands, if they used gloves or a bag they could just use those to cover their writing finger.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 3:04 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #3   Kathy

    HA. In Boston, they just tow your car and you have to go pay the towing fee, the storage fee, and the parking fine to get it out. Snow Emergency begins at 3:00pm? Trucks are out at 3:01, taking cars off to the pound.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:36 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   jadefirefly

      There is a fire hydrant in front of the store I work at in Chicago. One of our main sources of entertainment on slow days is how long it takes the truck to arrive after someone parks there.

      I think the record is 2 minutes. They don’t fuck around. And it is NOT cheap to get it back.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 6:44 pm   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Kathy

      Oh, the meter maids in Boston are just as vicious. What’s even better is watching, in about five minutes, a meter maid ticketing a car, noticing something on the monitor of their little handheld computer, making a cell phone call, and someone showing up to boot the car. If it’s snowing, they’re towing. Otherwise, you get the boot.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 7:03 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   GladImovedAwayfromBoston

      Even more fun is that the tow lot in Boston is under an overpass near where they discovered several dead bodies (people who ran afoul of Whitey Bulger) about 10 years ago. It is creepy even in the light of day over there. And the people who work there are pretty hateful, too.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 8:03 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   FeRD bang

      I’ve feared for my life in that very lot on several occasions! :)

      Feb 9, 2011 at 3:46 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #4   shwo! bang

    “less expensive than having it towed”… until they do this to a driver with a severe peanut allergy.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:36 pm   rating: 53  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   csdx

      I don’t know if that makes it better or worse, but probably funnier but darker at least

      Feb 9, 2011 at 7:34 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   shwo! bang

    What if I put a chair in my parking spot to hold it? Do they sticker that?

    *gets a bowl of popcorn, sits back and waits for the firestorm*

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:40 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #6   berge bang

    Bad park you!

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:41 pm   rating: 40  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   shwo! bang

      Didn’t see that coming.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 6:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   chrys

      Really, shwo? I was just thinking the same about your previous comment.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 6:56 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   shwo! bang

      I’ll give you that.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 6:56 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   TKD

      shwo!, Bad Mock You!

      Feb 9, 2011 at 10:48 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #7   shwo! bang

    Remove with brick and rage.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #8   Wololo

    That peanut butter must have been ****ing delicious?

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:54 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   anglophile

      If you’re going to commit to the fucking delicious joke, make the fucking delicious joke. This is no place for the mealy mouthed or the faint of heart.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 9:14 pm   rating: 62  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      **ll **id, *lo!!

      Feb 8, 2011 at 9:59 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   FeRD bang

      * ***** **** **, **** ****!

      Feb 9, 2011 at 3:47 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   TKD

      Letter substitutes should only be used if it adds a delicious flavor of ambiguity to the joke. And feel free to use some of the other symbols on the keyboard.

      Bad &^$k you.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 10:59 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #9   owlie

    When I want to be passive aggressive, I normally don’t think to whip out the peanut butter. That looks time-consuming.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 6:56 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   shwo! bang

      Only if you take time to stir it.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 6:57 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #10   Laura

    How does using tons of paper to post notices on people’s cars HELP keep the city cleaner? I doubt anyone is going to place those neatly in a trash receptacle after they remove it, especially if it has to be hacked it into a million soggy pieces to get it off. COUNTERPRODUCTIVE

    Feb 8, 2011 at 7:35 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #11   N

    Less expensive? Maybe. Towing is legal. Smearing food is a criminal act of vandalism. If that was me, I’d move the car to a legal space and call the police for the last laugh.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 7:43 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   bored@work

      Unlawful creaming? Pretty sure the cops would laugh in your face as no permanent damage was done.

      “Hello? 9-1-1? Someone peanut-buttered my car and I want action! I’m a taxpayer and I pay your salary.”

      “Hold please.” (Derisive laughter.) “Sir, I checked with an officer and it turns out they have actual crimes to investigate.”

      Feb 9, 2011 at 7:54 am   rating: 22  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      But officer, it’s chunky peanut butter. If that’s not a crime I don’t know what is!

      Feb 9, 2011 at 12:51 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

  • #12   Wondering

    and the police would know who put the peanut butter on the windshield by the handwriting???

    Feb 8, 2011 at 7:57 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Canthz_B bang

      No, they’d just pick up the guy with the elephants following him.

      Feb 8, 2011 at 8:52 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   N

      They’d know by figuring out who owned the parking spot.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 11:43 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #13   All Sticky

    First!!! Finally at long last First!!!

    Feb 8, 2011 at 8:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #13.1   Lenny!

      At what exactly?

      Feb 8, 2011 at 8:22 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.2   Madrias

      Failing, I guess.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 12:01 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #13.3   Canthz_B bang

      Finally, at long first Last! :-P

      Feb 9, 2011 at 12:06 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #13.4   jaywalke


      Feb 9, 2011 at 12:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #13.5   The Elf


      Feb 9, 2011 at 2:34 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #13.6   seacurs

      So we meet again. For the first time; for the last time.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 6:33 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #14   Canthz_B bang

    This vehicle violates NYC parking regulations.

    As a result this permanent sticker has been affixed to your windshield so that you can be publicly mocked and shamed for your lack of basic driving skills.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 9:54 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    I know that NYC car doesn’t belong to a woman in the Bronx. The babes up there carry safety razors in their mouths, so that sticker would be history in a jiffy.

    BTW, those safety razors would work on the Jiffy in a jiffy also.

    Feb 8, 2011 at 9:57 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #16   Canthz_B bang

    I call WIC check abuse. That’s the main reason people have sixteen jars of peanut butter on hand and need to begin to find creative uses for it.

    Actually, I’m surprised it’s not festooned with spheres of Kix cereal as well!

    Feb 8, 2011 at 10:05 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #17   Silence

    Hmm. By that first sticker’s logic, NYC must have nothing but cars parked on the wrong side of the street and preventing them from cleaning properly.

    Feb 9, 2011 at 3:28 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Canthz_B bang

      Never heard of “alternate side of the street parking rules”, huh?

      Feb 9, 2011 at 7:17 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Silence

      You missed the joke. Good work.

      Feb 10, 2011 at 9:06 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   Canthz_B bang

      I got the joke, just that NYC isn’t really all that dirty. The Sanitation Dept. does a really good job considering the size and activity level of the city. A fine job in fact for a city of 8.4 million people (there are whole States with fewer), so it wasn’t very funny.

      NYC doesn’t close down at 10pm like some places. Alternate side of the street parking rules enable the Sanitation Dept. to run its street sweepers right up to each curb at least every other night.
      Illegally parked cars interfere with that, but don’t totally prevent it.

      That’s what makes the sticker passive-aggressive, but I suppose you didn’t get the joke again. Good work.

      Just about any New Yorker can tell you about moving their car from one side of the street to the other each day in the daily mad parking space dash.

      Feb 11, 2011 at 12:04 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.4   se

      @ Silence.. I still haven’t gotten the “joke” part yet?

      Feb 13, 2011 at 10:27 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #18   FeRD bang

    (Play OTTO」!)

    Feb 9, 2011 at 3:53 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #19   bored@work

    This must be the “cat-indoors neighborhood”. Otherwise, there would be about 30 of them on the hood of that car licking away like fiends.

    Feb 9, 2011 at 7:58 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   The Elf

      Carnivorous? No, I never heard of that that. I thought my teeth were pointy to scare other cats.

      Bored, that is awesome. And I know at least one of my cats would be making serious love to that windshield. But he also eats plastic and spinach, so clearly he has some issues. That is, he’d do it if he were allowed outside. Which he isn’t.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 10:41 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   bored@work

      Mine likes pickles, go figure. He also tries to make crazy-love to my girl’s feet when she puts on peppermint foot lotion. There really is just no predicting animals.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 2:47 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   Canthz_B bang

      I’m making a mental note to buy Mrs. CB some peppermint foot lotion.
      We don’t have a cat, but I’ve always liked peppermint. In fact, maybe I’ll pick up some peanut butter, a few candles and an O’Jays CD while I’m at it!!

      Feb 9, 2011 at 5:34 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #19.4   bored@work

      O’Jay made a cd?????????? Did he do a cover of ‘Cuts like a knife, but it feels soooo right.? Jes’ kidding. More of a Gap Band man myself.

      Feb 10, 2011 at 10:41 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #19.5   Canthz_B bang

      The O’Jays have more romantic songs, but I can see “Burn Rubber on Me (Why You Wanna Hurt Me)” having a different meaning in this context!

      Or we could just go with “Humpin’ “ LOL

      Feb 11, 2011 at 12:15 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #20   raychel

    this is awesome. the only thing that would make the peanut butter tastier is if it were combined with chocolate (great combo).

    Feb 9, 2011 at 11:24 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   Nuki

      You got peanut butter in my windshield!
      You got windshield in my peanut butter!

      Two great tastes…

      Feb 9, 2011 at 12:17 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #20.2   Talia

      Mmmm. Now, I want to buy some Nutella.

      Feb 9, 2011 at 12:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.3   WMDKitty


      Feb 12, 2011 at 12:25 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #21   The Elf

    I am struck by the tone difference between the peanut butter writing and the note on the windshield next to it. One is polite and neighborly, though a little PA, but the other speaks of barely-contained parking rage. I’d like to think they were written by the same person, within minutes of each other, with the typed note being first, in some sort of weird Bruce Banner/The Hulk personality switch.


    Feb 9, 2011 at 3:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #22   Chesire cat

    If the person driving the one with peanut butter on it had a peanut allergy they could totally try to sue whomever did that for attempted murder. Best not to mess with people with peanut products since peanut allergies are the new hot issue right now and you never know who might be allergic and freak the fuck out on you.

    Feb 9, 2011 at 8:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   Madrias

      This is why I would use Duct Tape and a Permanent marker to write on the duct tape. I’d even be nice enough to leave a pull-tab so it could be painstakingly peeled off the window.

      Feb 10, 2011 at 9:57 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.2   Lauren--NY

      This is a seriously good point.

      Feb 13, 2011 at 4:26 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #23   WMDKitty


    What a waste of peanut butter.

    Feb 12, 2011 at 12:24 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #23.1   Meredith

      Awww…I love peanut butter. This was a really old can from the break room that had probably been there 10 years plus.

      Mar 1, 2011 at 9:14 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #24   C

    There would be blood if i saw either being left on my car.

    Feb 12, 2011 at 6:50 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #25   Lauren--NY

    Oh, New York City, I love you. But I will never drive in you. Ever.

    Feb 13, 2011 at 4:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #26   Lhyzz

    NYC is so full of shit with their alternate side parking rules. They SAY it’s to clean the streets, but really it’s to make money off those of us who are unable to find parking elsewhere and give up after two hours of circling the neighborhood…
    When we had this recent spate of snow storms, sanitation had to suspend the alternate side parking rules for a few weeks. The poor babies complained how many millions of dollars in revenue they lost! BOO HOO!

    Feb 14, 2011 at 9:38 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #27   Boo Hoo

    You could always rent a parking space, or take the friggin subway, but that would mean facing the fact that the world doesn’t revolve around you, wouldn’t it? Much easier to bitch and moan about how the city owes you a free and convenient parking space. Boo hoo.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 10:36 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up


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