Our submitter in Malaysia called this auto-reply from her coworker “a great way to ensure consistent passive-aggressiveness in the workplace, even when you’re busy holidaying.” (As always, just click the image to enlarge.)
It reminded me of these “instructional instructions” from the manual that James in the U.K. received with his DVD player.
related: Gee, that’ll show ‘em
67 responses so far ↓
#1
Leigh
Awesome! I am so using that next time!
Feb 9, 2011 at 7:42 pm rating: 5
#2
Talia
The only thing that could top this would be to include a phone # that automatically went to voicemail when called.
Feb 9, 2011 at 7:43 pm rating: 11
#3
Rossy
“…feel free to try sending your message again, however be aware that doing so could result in complications, such as an infinite loop.”
Feb 9, 2011 at 7:47 pm rating: 13
#4
punkypower
In my office, people set their auto reply to “…if you need immediate assistance, call Jenny…” and “Jenny” usually has no idea that she’s fielding calls for the vacationing perp.
Feb 9, 2011 at 7:49 pm rating: 11
#5
Durp
I love those safety instructions. They make me feel so safe.
Feb 9, 2011 at 8:30 pm rating: 8
#6
Canthz_B
I recently purchased a pair of earbuds for use with an MP3 player and noticed that they came with instructions.
Did you know the one with the “R” on it goes in your right ear, while the one with the “L” on it goes in your left?
Well! That was a real eye-opener for me too!!
I’m going to go read the instructions for my new deep-fryer now. I’m thinking about immersing my left hand in the hot oil, but just want to make sure that’s safe.
Feb 9, 2011 at 8:46 pm rating: 18
#7
Odious
Though it’s gotten better, most frozen foods used to have directions like the following one:
1. Remove from package
2. Place in microwave oven
3. Heat until finished heating
4. Stop microwave oven
5. Remove product from oven
6. Product might be hot
7. Enjoy
None of which are necessary except for the first word of #3 (particularly when wattages were all over the place).
Feb 9, 2011 at 10:29 pm rating: 2
#8
cleanuponaisle2
I have a cell phone with instructions that say (and this is from memory, not verbatim)… Avoid water, including steam from the shower and tears of joy. Don’t buy parts you need from anyone but an authorized dealer. This means buying parts from out of someone’s trunk. Don’t drop your phone, including throwing it out the window of a moving car.
I wonder if the phone company thought people might not read instructions anymore. Good thing I’m ridiculously thorough and surpassed their expectations. I would have given up long ago, but I find my thoroughness almost always brings me pleasant and unexpected surprises like that gem. ‘Idiocracy’, anyone?
Feb 9, 2011 at 11:10 pm rating: 16
#9
Divvitar
What’s really funny are the foreign product instructions (especially from China) that are “translated” into English.
Feb 10, 2011 at 1:24 am rating: 0
#10
Grant
Rule 1. Nobody talks about the instructions.
Feb 10, 2011 at 4:02 am rating: 12
#11
Woman on the Verge
Last time I left one of those “I will be out of reach so don’t even bother trying” email responses on my inbox, I forgot to take it down for a week after I was back. Finally my boss asked me if I could please change it… I loved knowing that the email request to change it was met by the autoresponse email.
Feb 10, 2011 at 6:36 am rating: 8
#12
clumber
At work, we have a support request software program that pulls reported problems from an email inbox. When a support request is accepted into the system, the sender receives an automatically generated “your ticket has been received and logged as issue #1234. IT staff will be contacting you, please do not reply to this message. This is an automated reply.” email. Around 10% of our users will reply to that auto-generated email with “Thanks!” or “Could you please also look into the cup holder…”
This starts a loop. It is that much worse if the person sent the original support email cc:ed to other people as well, as they’ll hit reply-all with “Ok.” or “Why did this go to me?” and then we have multiple loops until it becomes Fruit Loops and finally Trix.
Feb 10, 2011 at 8:37 am rating: 12
#13
Nahhh
I’d leave a witty comment, but I’m not logged in.
Feb 10, 2011 at 9:04 am rating: 0
#14
mobiuschic42
Eh, I could see the first one just being a mistake. I often just edit the details of my previous out of office message to make the next one, and it’d be easy to miss that you previously had “For any problems, send me an email”, especially when you’re trying to quickly set up your message before running out the door.
Feb 10, 2011 at 11:59 am rating: 1
#15
neurotic notes
Best instruction manual EVER. As a diligent follower of instructions myself this would totally confuse me. This is probably what all instructions aim for though. Ever seen the IKEA assembly instructions?
grr
Feb 10, 2011 at 5:12 pm rating: 0
#16
Cooper
I got bored so I looked through the booklets that came with my computer. According to it, there are a few things it is a good idea not to do.
A: Stick your laptop in the microwave.
B: Stick your battery in the microwave.
C: Hit your laptop with a hammer.
B: Hit your battery with a hammer.
Feb 10, 2011 at 9:12 pm rating: 3
#17
moonbait
mama always said, the key to the art of redundancy is being redundant, my mom always said
Feb 10, 2011 at 10:33 pm rating: 7
#18
Burly
#Kate! Welcome to America! If you are in America, you are entitled, nay, EXPECTED to sue Everyone who didn’t tell you not to put the “L” earbud into your right ear before you sat directly in front of the air conditioner to make lemonade out of the water coming from it.
Except me.
Feb 14, 2011 at 12:36 pm rating: 0
#19
Malaysian
This being from Malaysia, I sincerely doubt that show of PA was intentional.
Feb 24, 2011 at 1:31 am rating: 0
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