Tonya says she and her boyfriend in Charlottesville, Virginia had been living together for two years when they received this Valentine from his mother, “with the not-so-subtle implication that we should take our relationship to the next level.” Adds Tonya: “Oh, and on the inside of the card, she spelled my name wrong.”
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone!
related: The next-to-marry list
103 responses so far ↓
#1
anglophile
Two lady bugs in love? I think Mom accidentally wandered into the LGBT section at Hallmark.
Feb 14, 2011 at 8:36 am rating: 90
#2
bliffit
That much glitter would give me second thoughts about marrying into the family. You can only be polite about their bad taste for so long before it becomes an issue during holiday gatherings.
Feb 14, 2011 at 8:48 am rating: 90
#3
unholyghost2003
For reasons I don’t fully understand this made me laugh like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPcod8IS214
Feb 14, 2011 at 8:58 am rating: 90
#4
aaa
Maybe this isn’t a suggestion for marriage. Maybe the misspelling was intentional, a sort of “I think so little of you I can’t be bothered spell your name correctly. Now go away so my son can marry a nice girl.” Maybe this is just the beginning of an entire campaign to get Tonya out of her boyfriend’s life.
Or maybe not. The shit I make up is usually way more exciting than real life. Although it seems pretty difficult to misspell “Tonya”.
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:01 am rating: 90
#5
coco
Did the mispelling of your name look like this?: Whore. Yeah, that’s a common mistake many mothers make. Sometimes they spell it as Tramp too.
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:08 am rating: 90
#6
DinaBee
We received a Christmas card addressed to “J Sullivan and Other Resident” – I am the “other resident!” We decided for her birthday we will be sending a card addressed to “Occupant.”
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:19 am rating: 90
#7
Sock
That’s low.
Also, who still gets Valentine’s Day cards from their mom when they are old enough to be moved out and have a live in girlfriend/boyfriend? This is an informal poll.
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:20 am rating: 90
#8
divaandwriter
I can just imagine what Thanksgiving dinner must be like in THAT family!
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:25 am rating: 90
#9
Holly
My mom sends cards for every holiday. Halloween, yes! St. Patrick’s Day, yes! Beaujolais day, YES!!!
I think she’s on a one woman quest to keep the greeting card business alive.
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:03 am rating: 90
#10
MD
Glitter is truly nefarious PA.
That shit gets EVERYWHERE.
And the cheaper the crap they use, the more it spreads….
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:05 am rating: 90
#11
Grant
Maybe there’s a market for LGBT & O cards?…
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:08 am rating: 90
#12
CakeasaurusRex
My boyfriends aunt is the same way. It’s ridiculous though, we’ve been together since high school (almost 7 years now), just have finished up school and are saving money for a(n) engagement/wedding/downpayment etc…she sends us cards for every holiday and always spells my name incorrectly. This years Valentines card took the cake though, she butchered my last name (An ‘M’ in the front for no reason and a double ‘Z’…it had to have been on purpose, she’s has many business dealings with my mother…plus we’ve known each other for SEVEN YEARS!)
Happy Valentines Day everyone <3
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:14 am rating: 90
#13
Lana Kane
The last Christmas card I got from my parents was painstakingly addressed and composed to exclude all mention of the heathen to which I’ve been married for two and a half years. Passive aggressive holiday cards are the BEST holiday cards.
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:26 am rating: 90
#14
Rachel
When we got married, I opted to hyphenate my name and my husband’s name. Despite the last name not even being her own (husband’s mom and dad are divorced), she still refuses to include my maiden name in anything she addresses to us.
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:45 am rating: 90
#15
Kaje
My partner’s parents spell my name wrong all the time, but so does everyone else, so whatevs. It doesn’t really bother me enough to correct them, especially since the cards usually contain money
The best part is that it’s always misspelled differently in every card.
Feb 14, 2011 at 10:46 am rating: 90
#16
aquapt
Conversely…
I’ve been divorced for 5 years, and my mom and uncle still pointedly address everything they send me to “Mrs. [ex's first & last names]“.
I wasn’t so crazy about that form of address even when I was married, and now it’s just silly… but they just have to keep reminding me of who they feel I’m supposed to be.
They spell it right, though
Feb 14, 2011 at 11:35 am rating: 90
#17
party in my pants
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Feb 14, 2011 at 1:56 pm rating: 90
#18
TexasBlueEyes
Wow. That is bad. My Mother-in-law is still calling me her son’s girlfriend though. She is so bizzare.
Feb 14, 2011 at 2:06 pm rating: 90
#19
GhostWriter
This note would be alot funnier if Tonya’s name was Tommy.
Feb 14, 2011 at 2:12 pm rating: 90
#20
Woman on the Verge
I bet that fucker rhymes inside.
Feb 14, 2011 at 2:27 pm rating: 90
#21
Who? Me?
My first reaction was, how odd – Mom did such a neat and beautiful job when she crossed out the word Wife, but then disappointed me with her ugly handwriting. BTW, I’m a “use-three-lines” to cross out the word fan myself: one solitary line just looks too meager and unsatisfying, whereas complete obliteration leaves an unattractive blot on the page. Of course, using white out is truly the best option of all, but I’m sure was never even considered by a woman having *that* handwriting.
Secondly, where are the grammarians? Mom should have written “His Partner” if she was in fact referring to Tonya. As written, Mom’s “Great Son” is also her “Great Partner”, and boyfriend-dearest appears to be living la vida Oedipus.
Either that, or Mom just ain’t so good at English. Tawnyah, methinks that Mom might not ever spell your name correctly, even if you marry the dude.
Feb 14, 2011 at 4:36 pm rating: 90
#22
Divvitar
This whole “living in sin” thing bugs me anyway. Did Adam and Eve have a big ‘ol Jewish wedding with a Rabbi? No. They weren’t Catholic, so the Pope didn’t approve. They weren’t protestant, either. Buddha, Mohammed and the Hindu gods hadn’t arrived yet. In other words, I don’t think God really gives a fuck as long as you’re both happy. Conversely, you might burn in hell.
Feb 14, 2011 at 5:19 pm rating: 90
#23
PenisBelenis
I had a boyfriend who’s mom simply referred to me as “this one” when we all got together for our first dinner/meet. I should have headed for the hills then…
Feb 14, 2011 at 5:46 pm rating: 90
#24
revenge
My boyfriend’s mom sends cards for every holiday as well. She refuses to address me, it is always, “to Rick and Family” She also sends our daughter an individual one. She obviously is doing everything possible to make sure she omits my name, at least Tanya was included in the card
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:39 pm rating: 90
#25
Precy
Good for the mom.
Feb 14, 2011 at 9:44 pm rating: 90
#26
Canthz_B
“Son and Partner”?
Looks like Mom suspects Tonya is a transvestite!
Feb 14, 2011 at 11:47 pm rating: 90
#27
Canthz_B
Valentine’s Day was invented to sell greeting cards, mind your wants, because someone (Madison Avenue) wants your mind!
Don’t Let the Joneses Get You Down.
Keeping up with the Joneses can put you in the Poor House!
The Jones family will be just fine.
Get yourself deprogrammed and reprogrammed!
You might as well pay attention…you can’t afford Free Speech!!
Sucker.
“Free” Speech is reserved for multi-million dollar campaign contributors…on both sides of the aisle.
Oh, I made sure to give Mrs. CB a good V-tines Day…I’m no fool!!!
Happy V-Day all.
Feb 15, 2011 at 2:01 am rating: 90
#28
KK
I don’t think I’ve ever seen a card that read “To My Son and his live in Girlfriend”. I think its nice that she included the whore her son was living with (kidding) . So what if she misspelled Tonya.. She probably wrote Tanya which is a much more common name. Stop your whining.
Feb 15, 2011 at 10:12 am rating: 90
#29
unsatisfied
Canthz B’s note above about VDay being a greeting card company invented day triggered a memory.
About 10 years ago, for some reason, I lived in Ohio. At the time, I was serious with a woman who looked great on paper: smart, educated and she cared about pets, as she was a veterinarian.
Around the 3rd Saturday of October after about 10 months of being together, she called me up, screaming and very upset.
Her: “Why didn’t y0u send me candy?!??!???”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
Her: “It’s Sweetest Day!!!!”
Me: “What the hell is Sweetest Day?”
Her: “How can you not know?!??”
Me: “Because I have never heard of it. That’s how.”
For those of you who don’t live in the Great Lakes region — and, if Wikipedia is in any way to be believed — Sweetest Day is “described by Retail Confectioners International as an “occasion which offers all of us an opportunity to remember not only the sick, aged and orphaned, but also friends, relatives and associates whose helpfulness and kindness we have enjoyed.”[2] Sweetest Day has also been referred to as a “concocted promotion” created by the candy industry solely to increase sales of sweets”.
I promptly dumped her ass and left the state.
Feb 15, 2011 at 10:15 am rating: 90
#30
Lauren--NY
This is hilarious.
Feb 16, 2011 at 6:57 am rating: 90
#31
autumn
Not sure I see the problem. I’ve never seen a “son and girlfriend” card, so what’s she supposed to do?
(Also, maybe she’d spell your name right if the spelling weren’t f*cking retarded, Tonya.)
Feb 17, 2011 at 6:04 pm rating: 90
#32
wasabi
The “Partner’ thing definitely sounds like a dig, but the misspelled name may just be that she’s a lousy speller. My elderly aunt loves my oldest daughter, but every birthday or holiday card she sends, she misspells her name, even though she sees it signed on every Christmas card or note we send. It’s not intentional; she didn’t make it through high school, so I give her a pass on her bad spelling.
Feb 25, 2011 at 2:19 pm rating: 90
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