The Huffing & Puffing Post

February 17th, 2011 · 67 comments

When he first moved in, says our submitter in Melbourne, the apartment across the way already had the two big handmade nuclear posts in the window. Two months later, up went the note at the left about unneighborly acts like obscene “jestures” (which makes me envision of motley crew of courtyard jugglers giving the finger to nosy busybodies in the apartments above.) The cigarette notice is the latest addition.

Says our submitter: “I’m tempted to strut about without trousers and see if I can get a mention, too!”

If you have problems with residents of the apartment blocs e.g. antisocial behaviour, laundry on balcony, noise, music, mobile phone conversations, shouting, obscene jestures [sic] Contact: [redacted]. NO Nuclear AUSTRALIA! BAN URANIUM MINING and EXPORTS! First floor flat opposite throwing cigarette butts into the street. Ground floor flat likewise.

In the meantime, his other neighbors seem to already be getting in on the act.


(As always, just click on the images to enlarge them.)

related: WiFi for Passive-Aggressives

FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · Melbourne · neighbors · note wars · raging against the machine · smoking

67 responses so far ↓

  • #1   The Elf

    I *love* this guy’s neighbors. PA people after my own heart!

    Feb 17, 2011 at 7:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Sirius¤ bang


      Feb 17, 2011 at 2:01 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   Kate from Iowa


      Feb 17, 2011 at 4:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.3   Lauren--NY

      As much as I adore the taunting signs, I do worry about purposely antagonizing obviously crazy people. This one seems like s/he might seriously crack.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 4:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.4   unsatisfied

      I think this egg is beyond cracking.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 6:00 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.5   Lauren--NY

      Yeah, but as far as we know, s/he hasn’t shot anyone…yet.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 3:00 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.6   Wench

      How ironic… the ‘emotionally interesting’ neighbours are all for saving the environment (I am assuming this from their mining poster) but will pitch a fit at someone using free solar and wind power to dry their clothes rather than use a tumble dryer. Ah the workings of the crazy mind…..

      Feb 19, 2011 at 7:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Canthz_B bang

    I hate it when the rental office’s phones are shut off for non-payment…well that’s never happened to me, but why else the need to post these signs?
    Even agoraphobics can use a phone. :-P

    Feb 17, 2011 at 7:39 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Canthz_B bang

    I do like the one that simply says “Political Message”.

    It invites any and all to imagine their cause is posted there. How to win friends and not influence people!

    Feb 17, 2011 at 7:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   TKD

    Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

    Note to self: move in with uranium exporting, butt tossing aussies in flat across the way.

    Now, let’s finish writing that manifesto shall we? Yes, we should…

    Feb 17, 2011 at 8:03 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   becca

    How is laundry on the balconies a bad thing, or cause for complaint?

    Feb 17, 2011 at 9:08 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   The Elf

      Some HOAs and apartment complexes forbid it because they think it looks trashy. I don’t much care, but apparantly others do! When I moved into my new neighborhood, I mentioned the amount of work that we had to do in the house including getting an electrician out there to install the right kind of outlet for a dryer. The house never had one. My neighbor looked suprised and figured that the elderly lady that lived there before was just “weird” because she always hung her laundry out to dry. Ooookay…. Hint taken. I hung my laundry in the basement until I got that dryer.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 10:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Canthz_B bang

      Laundry hanging on balcony railing is against my lease. So is bicycle riding and skateboarding on the sidewalks, using indoor furniture on patios and balconies, and posting signs in windows (not even a “Beware of Dog” sign).

      Guess how many tenants don’t bother to read their leases?

      Feb 19, 2011 at 2:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   ariane

    Reminds me of the time one of the neighbours’ dog made a small, offensive deposit in the entryway. Rather than cleaning it up or anything, someone placed a little sign on the floor next to it saying, “Clean this up.”
    The ironic part was it stayed there for two days.

    Feb 17, 2011 at 9:45 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   BrookeDiz

      ariane, I don’t even know where to begin.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 10:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Ludlow Mortimer

      Quote. someone placed a little sign on the floor next to it saying, “Clean this up.”
      The ironic part was it stayed there for two days. End quote

      The real irony is that most probably the note writer cleaned it up themselves.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 2:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Flip-Flappin'

      Oh I’ve got that beat: my parents had to watch my dog overnight in an emergency, and dropped him off at my home afterwards. But he’d evidently left a gift in their living room, that they told me all about. Through a PA phone call a few days later (man, I wish they’d put this stuff in writing!), I found out they’d no intention of picking up this dry little turd themselves.

      So I drove over (30 minutes one way), grabbed a paper towel, picked it up, went to the bathroom to toss it in the toilet, and my dad yelled, “Don’t throw it in *there*!” After I gave him a look, he realized a turd is a turd is a turd, and allowed me to continue. I then sprayed the tiny area on the carpet, wiped, and left.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 7:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   The Elf

      Who lives with a turd on the carpet? Really!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 7:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   FeRD bang

      Joan Rivers’ roommate?

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:07 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   Flip-Flappin'

      I’d love to know how long they’d have gone had I not come over.

      To be fair, this is a total anomaly–they’re very clean; just not “pet” people. Insane, PA, and evil, yes, but clean in general.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 10:54 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   Chesire cat

    Doubt the signs are going to win people over into doing what he wants them to do. He would be better off calling the cops or landlord if anything he is complaining about violates some kind of law or rental agreement such as littering or noise complaints. This just pisses people off more and will make them more likely to do the offense.

    Plus anyone that has to make sure everyone knows their political beliefs are self important assholes. Same goes for bumper stickers supporting a candidate or signs in your yard. It all annoys me. I just go out and vote for whom I support and leave it at that. I don’t need to make everyone know how I feel. Discussing politics is rude in polite company anyway.

    Feb 17, 2011 at 9:50 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   DailyCompulsion

      “I don’t need to make everyone know how I feel.”

      yeah right LOL

      Feb 17, 2011 at 10:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Janellionaire

      This reminds me of the time a friend of mine had a son running in some local election. I told her she could put a sign in my yard, but forgot to let my husband know. He got home before me, assumed someone had put it there without permission, and went into some sort of primal territorial rage. He didn’t just throw the sign away, he folded it all up and broke the post. I had to tell my friend that “someone” had vandalized it.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 12:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Dalamara

      @ Cheshire, I am guessing that the first sign is actually telling people who have complaints about them, or anyone else, to call the manager.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 4:47 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   unsatisfied

      “I don’t need to make everyone know how I feel.”

      Sure you do. You commented here, didn’t you?

      Feb 17, 2011 at 5:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   Nunavut Guy

      If my neighbours disagree with me I just spit on their balconies.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 7:05 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   Canthz_B bang

      I for one would like to know Chesire cat’s views on this matter. Unfortunately, she doesn’t divulge much in the way of opinions here at PAN.

      Likes to keep that sort of thing private I suppose.
      I respect that.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 7:34 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   Chesire Cat

      Commenting on an anonymous message board is way different that plastering my car and yard for signs stating my opinions. Way way different. Not even in the same ballpark. I always figured anyone with a controversial bumper sticker is kinda asking for their car to get vandalized just because there is always going to be some crazy out there who disagrees with your stance and will take it out on your poor innocent car.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 10:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.8   Canthz_B bang

      There’s a word for that that starts with a ‘P’ and ends in a ‘noia’. ;-)

      Feb 17, 2011 at 11:48 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.9   Chesire Cat

    • #7.10   Canthz_B bang

      Anecdotes aside, because sometimes there’s a random asshole about, the vast majority of people don’t care enough about your political opinions to vandalize your car over them…that’s why you see so many bumper stickers and so few vandalized cars.
      Think about it…those stories wouldn’t have been “news” if they were a common occurrence.

      Representative Democracy doesn’t work without Free Speech. Bumper stickers are part of the national political discourse. They reinforce our beliefs when we agree with them, and remind us that there are other points of view than ours when we disagree. They help by acting as a social safety valve that helps us keep from fighting politics out in violent street battles as they do in some countries. We’re much more likely to affix a bumper sticker FOR our cause to our own cars upon seeing stickers for an opposing view than to vandalize someones car because of their bumper sticker.
      People have died so you can voice your opinions. You dishonor them when you are afraid to do so, not for fear of life or limb…but over your car of all things.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 1:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.11   Canthz_B bang

      I think Medgar Evers just turned over in his grave, but down in Hell, Joseph Goebbels is clapping his hands with glee over how the propaganda you’ve posted has influenced your thoughts!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 5:22 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.12   FeRD bang

      Indeed, Chesire… Those two (Honestly! Two? Ooh, it’s an epidemic!) articles you provided serve only to demonstrate that such a thing has happened at some point in the course of human history. Big whoop! So has nearly everything else our feeble imaginations can dream up.

      But you can conjure up isolated incidents all day long, and it still won’t speak to the likelihood of the same thing occurring to you, or anyone else — it won’t serve to justify a paranoia.

      IOW, it’s important to remember: “The plural of anecdote is not data.”

      I’ve never understood how messages like “No Nuclear Australia” and “Ban Uranium Mining….” are viewed as merely ‘politics’, anyway — as if they represent nothing more than abstract horse-wagering. Those are real issues, with the potential for real consequences: health, safety, environmental impact, and so on. (I say that as someone who doesn’t agree with their messages — I have no problem with nuclear power. But I recognize how important it is that both sides continue to examine the issue carefully!)

      “Vote Fatcat McMoneygrubbers!” or “Tree Hugginson for Mayor!”, those are political views. And if some people prefer they be kept to oneself, that’s fine. In fact, it’s best… such choices should be made based on the issues, not influenced by boosterism or peer pressure. But we should never let an avoidance of ‘politics’ curb discussion of the real issues. Conversation and knowledge-sharing about the things that affect us all, individually and collectively, is one of the very reasons we come together and form societies!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 7:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.13   Russian

      FeRD, you get a thumb for ‘the plural of anecdote is not data’. I’ll add to that ‘I think you’ll find it’s a bit more complicated than that’ and ‘when did ignorance become a point of view?’

      Feb 18, 2011 at 4:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.14   Chesire cat

      There were more articles about it happening, I just posted two of them.

      Also this

      So you know, kinda reinforces my statement that people who feel the need to constantly blab about their political views are assholes.

      Feb 19, 2011 at 8:21 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.15   Canthz_B bang

      The researcher makes a common mistake, at least he would have if he had come to the conclusion about the research that you and the reporter seem to have.

      As “correlation” is not the same as “cause and effect”…none of that made the claim that people who disagree with the bumper stickers of others are prone to vandalism or even that people with bumper stickers are more likely to be vandals. So you’re comparing apples and oranges in no way supporting your original position.

      Hell, I’m a very aggressive driver, and the only sticker on my car is my AAA Auto Club sticker.
      It has nothing to do with territoriality (if you want to study that, just count how many people pick their noses in their cars. Bumper stickers or not, people tend to think of their cars as “private spaces”), it has to do with dumb-ass drivers fucking up traffic flow. It’s just as easy to draw the conclusion from the research that people without bumper stickers are dumb-ass drivers as to conclude that those with bumper stickers are aggressive! I know that much without spending grant money on a stupid “study”! Sometimes I’m just in a hurry because I have to pee really soon! Has nothing to do with whether or not I publicly express my political opinions…I just need to get to my destination and relieve myself!!
      Maybe they should do a study to see if people with bumper stickers pee more or less often than those without them. It would be just as valid a point-prover. ;-)

      So they honked two whole seconds sooner. Did anyone take into account not just whether or not the car in front was turning as well as whether or not traffic flow was giving them an opportunity to turn?
      If it happened in a left turn only lane where there are 5 to 7 seconds before the red no left turn arrow lights up, did anyone ask if the honking came from car number two in line or car number six in line?
      We like to call these things “variables”.
      The study is probably flawed, the conclusion is definitely debatable, your conclusion is flat out wrong.

      Feb 19, 2011 at 6:11 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.16   Canthz_B bang

      How many went over to see if their planted driver was in need of medical assistance? Did they sport bumper stickers, or not?
      Did those with “political” bumper stickers toot their horns more often, sooner or at the same rate as those with “My 8th grader made the Honor Roll at ABC Middle School” bumper stickers or sports team affiliation bumper stickers? Are breast cancer research advocates more aggressive behind the wheel than “Support Our Troops” folks? What did they make of those annoying “Baby on Board” dip-shits?

      Variables. Poorly designed studies tend to ignore them.

      Feb 19, 2011 at 7:06 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #7.17   Canthz_B bang

      You can’t CAUSE people to exhibit a behavior and then attribute their likelihood of exhibiting said behavior to a third condition of your choosing without considering any other condition which may play a role.
      Did they consider hair color for example? They say red-heads are hot tempered. Maybe more red-heads sport bumper stickers and honked their horns sooner because of their hair color, not because of their bumper stickers. Hell, maybe every horn-honker was a red-head.

      The cited study is bullshit on white paper.

      Variables are a bitch. ;-)

      Feb 22, 2011 at 12:49 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   divaandwriter bang

    Hmmm … windows blocked by ugly paper signs = very little sunlight = Seasonal Affective Disorder = even more ugly paper signs put up by moody, depressed guy living in apartment without sunlight because he keeps putting up ugly paper signs.

    I like the neighbors’ rebuttals.

    Feb 17, 2011 at 9:52 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   park rose

      They’re cheeky.

      Feb 19, 2011 at 9:09 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   brandine

    Looks like this guy is on the second floor. How does he expect anyone to read his teeny tiny writing? Except for the submitter with his fancy zoom lens?

    Feb 17, 2011 at 11:33 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   JetJackson

      This is Melbourne, Australia! Every hipster owns a 250mm lens – I am suprised the photo wasn’t taken with a Lomo.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 8:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   Divvitar

    I think their political agenda is getting lost in all of the dirty laundry they are airing! ;)

    Feb 17, 2011 at 11:41 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   Quite Contrary

    I have a crush on whoever posted “Pointless Sign.”

    Feb 17, 2011 at 1:12 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   clumber

      Me too… I am hoping (fantasizing) it was either Pony, Park Rose, or (hubba hubba) WotV….

      I *think* one of them is even an Aussie.

      Feb 20, 2011 at 8:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   Canthz_B bang

      Rose is from that neck of the woods.

      Feb 20, 2011 at 9:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   TKD

    I just want some of that blue bubble gum. I bet it tastes fucking …

    Feb 17, 2011 at 1:42 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   FeRD bang

      Painfully-forced deathmeme invocation aside, you’ve never seen Blu-Tack before?

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Smiley4099

    I want a “POLITICAL MESSAGE” bumper sticker.

    Feb 17, 2011 at 2:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Romy

    I can’t believe I was beaten to sending in these pictures; I took my own last night!

    The crazy notes were put up by an old lady who spends all day every day leaning on the bins outside her house smoking cigarette after cigarette, and watching the neighborhood.

    Also, for those of you who were wondering, our balconies are all shaded by these metal bars, so you can hardly even see when people put their laundry out to dry.

    Feb 17, 2011 at 2:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   Smiley4099

      I didn’t know you lived near my grandmother.

      Feb 17, 2011 at 3:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   Allison

    awe I just love crazy old lady signs lol.
    plus to the person who lives across the way can you put a sign in your window to let the person know to fix there roof tiles. ha ha ha

    Feb 17, 2011 at 4:51 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Nahhh bang

    Is the old lady’s apartment in a prominant spot that makes people think she’s the manager? In the second photo, it doesn’t look like it, but like her apartment is on the second floor.

    Anyway, IF her apartment appears to be the manager’s, and it’s not, I can understand the signs directing complainers elsewhere. I once lived for 12 years in such an apartment (front and center in a 4-plex), and it’s PAIN. I had an index card in the window saying “THE MANAGER DOES NOT LIVE HERE.”

    If none of that applies in this situation, then she’s just batshit.

    Feb 17, 2011 at 5:17 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Romy

      She actually lives in a house, and the photos were taken from the apartment building across the street from her, so no one is under the impression that she is a building manager or in any other way a suitable person to complain to :) I think it’s more a case of her trying to get others to complain, I guess!

      Feb 17, 2011 at 6:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Nahhh bang

      Aha. This is why people have blogs. ;)

      Feb 17, 2011 at 6:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   aaa

    maaaan I won’t to know where this is so I can go idle in the street and smile to myself. Come on Melbournite, let me know!

    Feb 17, 2011 at 11:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   Priscilla

      Where in Melbs is this? (I need to see this for myself!)

      Feb 18, 2011 at 3:59 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   tommy

      brickworks drive brunswick
      can corroborate the crazy old lady story

      Feb 18, 2011 at 12:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   photoguy

      Yup, as above. Heh :)

      Feb 18, 2011 at 6:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.4   aaa

      thanks, going to meander pass now, haha.

      Feb 21, 2011 at 7:23 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff

    “Down with this sort of thing!”

    Feb 19, 2011 at 5:18 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   looking

    Everytime I see the “pointless sign” I LOL really loud!

    I need a bumper sticker that says that.

    Feb 19, 2011 at 2:54 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   pegolasgreenleaf

    Those signs. Are on the second floor.

    The person with the cigarette butts on the first floor? Totally can’t read them w/o binoculars.

    Feb 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   clumber

    single… emotionally poignant tear

    Goddamn I love the Aussies.

    Feb 20, 2011 at 8:44 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #22   Criminal Defense Lawyer Los Angeles

    I think Pointless Message wins. If you’re hiking a sign up that far, how does one expect it to be read besides standing there absurdly? Common sense is really a lost art.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 3:50 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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