Mother of hair? Is that like mother of pearl?

February 18th, 2011 · 69 comments

I’ll admit it: I had to read this note and the accompanying explanation about three times before I grasped that “hair baby” was supposed to refer to the leftover strands that someone in Tricia’s dorm keeps leaving in the shower drain.

Dear Mother of Hair Baby, Please take care of your disgusting little child, I'm tired of seeing it. I don't care if you love it with all your heat, I don't want to see it. If you care for it so much take the little varment [sic] to your room & care for it there. Your Truly, Disgusted

But speaking of babies…as Massimo noticed, this Boston-area Walgreens is apparently hoping to capitalize on your drunken New Years/Valentine’s Day sexual escapades. (Or else they’re just really, really curious?????)

BABIES????????????? FIND OUT HERE!!

related: Please clean ALL your feathers.

extra credit: The incredible hair baby of Manchester [Dailymail.co.uk]

FILED UNDER: college life · confusion??? · hair · most popular notes of 2011 · preggers · shower · that's disgusting · WTF?


69 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Jessica

    LOL. I LOVE it! Hair Babies! Awesome. I love the cleverness of that note. I’m still laughing. I hope I never have to write a note like this (nor read one for me, either) . . . but if I do…

    Feb 18, 2011 at 1:18 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

     
  • #2   lagne

    I had a college housemate who happened to have very dark, thick hair – head, arm, leg, and I don’t care to assume elsewhere (rocket pubes, anyone?). We other housemates learned several things about her:

    1) apparently she only shaved her legs once a month or so (no judgment here; you’ll see why it’s significant);
    2) when she did, she used hair conditioner to get the job done;
    3) no matter how firmly we demanded, she ALWAYS “forgot” to wash out the tub afterward; and
    4) this always happened before her leaving town for X number of days, so we couldn’t even leave it there for her to clean when she returned (lest we go X number of days without showering).

    Hair baby: not the worst thing you could clean out of a tub.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 1:20 am   rating: 36  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   jadefirefly

      EWWWWWWWWWWWW.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 1:44 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.2   unholyghost2003 bang

      I thumb you for your Rocket Pubes Call Back.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 7:58 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.3   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe she was a Bigfoot. Did she say “Goonie-Goo-Goo” very often?

      Feb 18, 2011 at 5:59 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #2.4   lagne

      Well, sightings WERE rare… and all she ever left behind was hair…. (stroking chin in thought)

      Feb 20, 2011 at 4:44 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #3   Janellionaire

    I always rescue my hair baby out of the drain, and sometimes I bring it to my husband and present it as “a lock of my hair.” I find this funnier than he does.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 1:43 am   rating: 70  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Lauren--NY

      What did he ever to do you? ;-)

      Feb 18, 2011 at 3:04 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.2   Nunavut Guy

      I would so be farting under the covers if I got a present like that.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 6:55 am   rating: 28  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.3   The Elf

      Hehehe, my husband has done the same to me. Some background: he’s bald, I have long hair. But I also have really bad vision and need to wear glasses. So in the shower, sans glasses, I never notice the “hair baby” (I love that term). How could I? I barely see the drain! It’s a miracle I can tell the shampoo and conditioner apart! If it’s my turn to scrub the bathroom I’ll see it and clean it out, but most of the time it’s him that notices. Sometimes, he’ll respond by fishing it out and presenting it to me with some snarky comment.

      This is one reason why I married him. Most people get mad. He gets snarky.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:05 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      The thing I don’t understand is why I have never done this to my husband. Opportunities missed …

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:45 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.5   *snerk*

      My husband frequently offers his nail clippings for me to cherish for eternity. I will have to return the favor. Time to grow my hair out again…

      Feb 18, 2011 at 9:19 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.6   Mark bang

      I’m weird. I refuse to throw away pocket lint myself. Pocket lint must be given to someone else, who can then throw it out.

      I read and played too much HHGTTG as a teen.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 12:24 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.7   Janellionaire

      Yeah he always wants to share his toenails with me too, because apparently they smell funny. I haven’t found out yet if that’s true. I do get the lint out of his bellybutton (lint baby?) but I don’t save it.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 2:21 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.8   Nunavut Guy

      They make nice tooth picks.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:13 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #3.9   Lauren--NY

      Um, that should have been “do to you.” I can’t type, apparently.

      ETA: @TheElf sounds like you picked a good one. :-)

      Feb 19, 2011 at 1:02 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #4   Silence

    Hair baby writer should just be grateful that the drain hair in that dorm has not yet developed the aerospace technology to become rocket pubes.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 1:50 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

     
  • #5   Canthz_B bang

    Hairballs are great and magical things.
    Of course, they need money to talk…just read The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!

    Feb 18, 2011 at 2:58 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Nunavut Guy

      I’m still out 523 marbles.You just can’t believe everything that you read.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 6:59 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.2   Nunavut Guy

      Great reference……..one of my favorite writers.

      Feb 19, 2011 at 7:30 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
    • #5.3   Canthz_B bang

      Yes. If anyone would know about hairballs, he would!

      Feb 20, 2011 at 1:15 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    That’s a great definition of babies…Wet-N-Wild! :lol:

    Feb 18, 2011 at 3:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Liz

      Nah, that’s how babies are made … after you get Wet-N-Wild!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 10:19 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #7   Canthz_B bang

    Walgreens has figured out the marketplace. Condoms are cheaper than pregnancy tests, so it’s a good bet they didn’t push condom sales prior to the expected New Year’s or Valentine’s Day holiday, um…festivities.

    Antibiotics sales are up as well!! :lol:

    Feb 18, 2011 at 3:26 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

     
  • #8   jo's comment

    can you see the reflection in the pregnancy shot?

    does that say wet & wild????

    what sort of place is that?

    Feb 18, 2011 at 3:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   newbuffalomom

      Wet & Wild is a brand of cosmetics.

      Looks like a drugstore chain of some sort.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 5:42 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.2   FeRD bang

      Yes!! You’ve cracked it! Now, if only we knew which drugstore chain….

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:04 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.3   *snerk*

      I’m going to take a wet & wild guess and say maybe it’s….. Walgreens!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 9:20 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.4   TKD

      No, no, it can’t be Walgreens. If it were Walgreens then Kerry would have said so in the original… oh.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 10:38 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

       
    • #8.5   Canthz_B bang

      Walgreens, ok…we’re sure it’s from New York though, right?

      Feb 18, 2011 at 6:13 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #9   mycaricature

    those are the weirdest notes I’ve ever seen

    Feb 18, 2011 at 4:51 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #9.1   Kim H.

      Apparently you haven’t come here before … these are great notes … but “weirdest notes I’ve ever seen”? Boy oh boy, these don’t even come close to the weirdest!!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 6:08 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

       
    • #9.2   The Elf

      Yes – check out the greatest hits, especially “Thx Sandra”. Those take the cake.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:07 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #10   FeRD bang

    “Oh, yeah, pregnancy tests? Sure, we got those! Aisle 4.

    Just head down thatta way, go past the party balloons and over towards them lipsticks… you know, the ones that’re — whaddaya call ‘em — “Soaked-n-Sassy”?

    Tha pee-sticks is all gonna be right across from there, underneath the baseball caps next to some shirts. If you hit the vitamins, car parts, and shampoo aisle, ya went too far.”

    …God, I love Walgreens.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 6:20 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      I’m pretty sure they’re right next to the Bump-Its.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:21 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.2   *snerk*

      If Walgreens doesn’t have it, you don’t really need it.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 9:21 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #10.3   unholyghost2003 bang

      by the same token If Walgreens has it,you probably don’t really need it.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 9:31 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #11   Woman on the Verge bang

    All the Walgreen’s sign needs is one of those “As Seen on TV” logos above it.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 6:38 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #12   Ginger

    “Do you think 12 question marks will get the point across?”

    “No, thirteen. Gotta be thirteen, we don’t want any ambiguity.”

    Feb 18, 2011 at 7:19 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   FeRD bang

      Needs more cowbell, tho.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:01 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.2   Woman on the Verge bang

      FeRD, nicely done.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:17 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #12.3   Liz

      But only two exclamation points?

      What?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 10:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #13   Woman on the Verge bang

    I’m picturing one of the “Teen Moms” cradling her hair baby in her arms, tears streaming down her face, mumbling… “If only I’d known 5 days sooner” as she gazes at that display.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 7:31 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

     
  • #14   j.b.

    I’m thinking this is a low end big box (ALCO or K-Mart low). Notice the pleather jackets to the right.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 7:32 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   FeRD bang

      No, it’s a WALGREENS. Christ, the post quite clearly says that it’s a Walgreens!

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:03 am   rating: 25  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #15   The Elf

    I love that the stickers on the pregnancy tests say “flu shot also available”. Throwing up in the morning? Could be pregnancy, could be flu. Go to Walgreens for both!

    Feb 18, 2011 at 8:12 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

     
  • #16   The Elf

    Who uses “varmint” (and then mispells it)? As soon as I came to that word I had to re-read the whole thing in my Foghorn J. Leghorn voice. Try it; the note becomes even funnier.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 8:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   Woman on the Verge bang

      I think it should have been punctuated differently:

      Yours,

      Truly Disgusted

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:22 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.2   unsatisfied

      As much as I love me some Foghorn Leghorn, didn’t “varmint” pretty much belong to Yosemite Sam?

      Feb 18, 2011 at 11:48 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.3   The Elf

      Hmmmm……. Okay, now my mental voice is some mutant hair baby love child between Yosemite Sam and Foghorn Leghorn, who were both actually voiced by the same guy, Mel Blanc.

      Yeah, “Varmint” is Yosemite Sam but can’t you just picture Foghorn Leghorn saying it? Varmint?????????????

      Feb 18, 2011 at 12:55 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.4   unsatisfied

      Great horny toads.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 5:18 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.5   Nunavut Guy

      And the Lord said”varmint is to be the domain of Sam” and so it was.

      55th commandment.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:21 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.6   AuntyBron

      Ye verily and “Boy – I say, Boy!” shall likewise be issued unto Foghorn Leghorn.

      And there was great rejoicing.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 9:43 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

       
    • #16.7   Nunavut Guy

      Amen.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 10:24 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #17   unholyghost2003 bang

    So, the second note … is that from some gas station or something?
    .
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    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Sorry, I am just REALLY enjoying watching FeRD grow increasingly agitated and am hoping to cause a full on, Serene Branson style, brain malfunction.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 9:17 am   rating: 21  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   knittykat

      CVS maybe? ;-)

      Feb 18, 2011 at 10:49 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
    • #17.2   FeRD bang

      Fortunately, I thought of this after posting my second “It’s a frickin’ Walgreens!!” (Which you really can’t hear in quite the right voice, unless you remember the SNL “Celebrity Jeopardy!” where the contestants were asked to identify the object Trebek (Will Ferrell) was holding. “It’s a frickin’ hammer!“)

      Anyway, after my second post, I realized, “At this point they’re likely to pretend they don’t know it’s a Walgreens, just to get a rise out of me!” So I decided to put the keyboard down and back away from the computer slowly. :)

      Mar 11, 2011 at 12:54 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #18   Divvitar

    What is “yours troly?” Hmm…

    Feb 18, 2011 at 12:21 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   park rose

      90% of the comments on a PAN thread on a good day?
      Yours trolly!
      (or, a misspelt shopping cart – they are awfully wayward with their wheels never knowing which direction to turn).

      Feb 19, 2011 at 9:01 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #19   quatfaux

    That hair baby was fucking deli….. never mind.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 3:10 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Canthz_B bang

      Yeah, but was it a kosher deli?

      Feb 20, 2011 at 10:38 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #20   Turd Ferguson

    That second one is so typical of the signs they put up in those WalMarts

    Feb 18, 2011 at 4:00 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

     
  • #21   Party in my Pants

    I hate the hair in the shower drain!! Sometimes I wonder if Chewbacca isn’t taking a shower with me.

    Feb 18, 2011 at 5:58 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Nunavut Guy

      Man,how long were you in prison?If Chewbacca was showering with you;you really should know.

      Feb 18, 2011 at 8:27 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #22   aaa bang

    Am I the only one kind of disappointed that the link in “leftover strands” didn’t link to Rocket Pubes?

    Feb 19, 2011 at 8:33 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #22.1   se

      yes

      Feb 20, 2011 at 2:49 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

       
     
  • #23   ariane

    Looks like the note is signed “Yours trol(l)y”

    Feb 21, 2011 at 9:49 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     
  • #24   name (required)

    I misread this as “hairy baby” not “hair baby” and I was like, that’s not passive-aggressive, that’s just rude!
    (I.E. no one wants to see your child, it has hair on it’s head)
    Now that I get it, it’s hilarious.

    Feb 25, 2011 at 10:43 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

     
  • #25   Jiu Jitsu Los Angeles

    I feel I did something like this in college. It’s bad enough in Los Angeles dealing with the heat, but with moldy hair children growing from drains, it’s just insult to injury. What happened the age of common decency?

    Mar 2, 2011 at 3:32 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

     

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