Mario’s response: “Mamma Mia! I’m a plumber, not a janitor!”

February 22nd, 2011 · 52 comments

Like the angry woman/women who wrote this note, Katie in Lexington, Kentucky works on the third floor of her building — but she’s never noticed any problems with the custodian’s work.

“Sure, sometimes a stall runs out of toilet paper, but within a couple of hours, he has refilled them,” she says. And besides: “I, for one, would prefer that Mario doesn’t hang out all afternoon in the women’s bathroom.” So, notewriter…maybe it’s time to take your massive craps elsewhere, hmm?

Mario -- Consider this fair warning... The women who work and study on the 3rd floor are no longer going to tolerate the lack of bath tissue or hand towels in this restroom. We do not want to complain to your supervisor, but we will have to if you do not maintain the paper products in this restroom.

related: Who cleans your bathrooms? “A strange black lady with a knife.”

extra credit: Luigi finally snaps []

FILED UNDER: bathroom · disgruntled janitor · Kentucky · office · office cop · paper product fairy · toilet paper

52 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Nahhh bang

    No, no, no. A truly PA note would open with an accusation of theft, THEN move on to speculating that it’s simply the janitor failing to replenish paper products in a timely fashion. Following paragraph is to accuse the janitor of theft, THEN threaten to complain to his/her superiors.

    Only shitting stars break the mo-o-o-o-o-old.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 6:32 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   lagne

      At least the (bitchy) note-writer left plenty of room under the text for the inevitable follow-up scrawlings.

      Me, I’d draw a Super Mario Bros. scene on it. More specifically, Fire-Power Mario, but instead of fireballs, he’s throwing TP rolls.

      Suck at your job, Mario? Well, we’ll just get a new Mario.

      Feb 22, 2011 at 7:03 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #1.2   sally

      put a bird on it. fuck.

      Feb 22, 2011 at 8:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #2   Mrazda71

    No Girl likes to drip dry…

    Feb 22, 2011 at 6:35 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   Michelle

      Who’s “No Girl”? She sounds naaaaaasty.

      Feb 22, 2011 at 9:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   The Elf

      Yeah, but every girl knows to look before she sits.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 1:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #3   Beck

    Well what do they expect? Most men have no idea how to change toilet rolls! They should be praising Mario for being one of the few men out there who have learned this skill. Pat him on the back rather than complain at the amount of time it takes him! ;)

    Feb 22, 2011 at 6:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Canthz_B bang

      Naw, men know how to change toilet rolls…just not how often we should expect to change them.

      Women consume mass quantities of the stuff, and most men think the roll they put in yesterday should still be there today.

      *sorry mrs. cb, but I just don’t get it! are you in there eating the stuff or what?!*

      Feb 23, 2011 at 3:58 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   Clumber


      We use the TP to make complex, multi-tiered, and absorbent origami. Why, what do men do with it?



      Feb 23, 2011 at 8:23 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   anglophile

      No, I’m sorry, CB. Without getting into the whole gender issue of changing the roll, there’s one clear-cut rule: if you used up the roll, you change the roll. That square that’s glued to the roll does not count as useable.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 11:38 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   Canthz_B bang

      LOL, I knew I’d be outnumbered on this issue, but I just have a thing about getting ganged up on by women.
      I’m working through it with my sex therapist…and my parole officer…and the local womens basketball team!

      Feb 23, 2011 at 10:38 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   Clumber

      Frederick Axil – Sex Therapist and Probation Officer, new episode TONIGHT on FX!

      ‘Glo, the rule in our household is only slightly more pedantic. *IF* the roll, once you have used your “catcher’s mitt” for the current performance, looks like it could only have 1 more inning left, then you have to grab a new roll from under the sink and place it on the window sill nearest the toilet. This was enacted b/c my beloved spouse’s idea of an empty roll is not the same as mine. If she leaves 2 squares, it isn’t empty yet. IMHO if it isn’t enough to encircle your hand once, it is empty. The nearest cabinet to store new rolls in is not within reach from the commode, you see.

      Feb 24, 2011 at 9:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #4   n'art

    I know a few custodians. And I’m pretty sure that Mario saw the paper on the wall, didn’t bother reading it, and then threw it in the garbage.

    Custodians don’t have leprosy; you can actually talk to them if you need to say something.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 6:59 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   aaa bang

      That would be too damn easy. It would also require the note writers to have sufficient empathy and think of others as human. People doing the easy thing and confronting others in person would also render this site completely useless and would force us to find another way to entertain ourselves at others’ expense. I like this brand of schadenfreude.

      I think this is obligatory, just because you’re suggesting what I used to suggest back in the day: . Many times, questioning people’s actions, much like resistance, is futile. (Also: I just find it an amusing macro. I like whipping them out whenever I can.)

      Feb 22, 2011 at 9:29 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   courtney

      Clearly they are far too important at this office to speak directly to lowly custodial staff.
      What idiots… just tell the guy they are running out during the day and to leave extra on the counter or somewhere. I’m sure this poor guys entire job is just cleaning this one bathroom.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 1:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   n'art

      aaa, I get what you’re saying. Usually I’d not get mad or tell these note-writers what to do. But my father was a custodian, so when I see him, or anyone else in that profession, treated like an untouchable, it sort of frustrates me.

      Feb 25, 2011 at 5:25 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #5   bob loblaw

    Mistake #1 writing any note to any custodian in English.


    Feb 22, 2011 at 7:18 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Smiley4099

      Especially one named Mario.

      Feb 22, 2011 at 8:26 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Caiman

      I was a custodian for a while. I think it’s safe to assume my grasp of the English language is far superior to that of most people, native or not.


      Feb 23, 2011 at 2:27 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   Lauren--NY

      There are plenty of second and third generation Italian-Americans with the name Mario. Just throwing that out there.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 8:28 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #6   JetJackson

    “Sorry ladies, it’s a long story but basically I ate this giant mushroom, doubled in size and then dodged various hammer throwing turtles, jumping bombs and squeezed through tubes not knowing where I would end up. I did this through 9 different worlds with a brief reprieve only when I found a flower that enabled me to produce fireballs at will to throw at the numerous ghosts, ghouls, walking toadstools, flying fish, octopus, tortoise throwing clouds, and human eating flowers that I came across. Finally through sheer persistance I was able to defeat a giant fire breathing turtle with spikes on its back that had been causing all this trouble. Normally when someone says “Jump!” I ask “How high?” but quite frankly I am so fucking sick of jumping. Seriously, I already have one Princess that needs saving all the time and really don’t need another.”

    Feb 22, 2011 at 7:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   Gladystopia

      Yeah, but I bet HIS princess doesn’t have to drip-dry.

      Feb 22, 2011 at 8:41 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   Clumber


      Error : Already Voted!

      JetJ – you can have the Intertubes Award of the Week.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 8:27 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.3   Lauren--NY

      Amazing. Now I want to play!

      Feb 23, 2011 at 8:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.4   Janellionaire


      Feb 24, 2011 at 12:55 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.5   Canthz_B bang

      Octopuses, bo-busses, banana-fanna-fo-fusses, fee-fi-mo-musses…Octopuses…

      Feb 24, 2011 at 2:25 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #6.6   JetJackson

      Janellionaire, what makes you so sure there wasn’t just 1 Octopus?

      Feb 24, 2011 at 6:44 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #7   zomboid

    wow. obnoxious.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 7:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #8   Adriana

    My mother worked in an office building where the janitor would just walk into the women’s bathroom without knocking. He’d spend half an hour cleaning the entire building and the rest of his shift hanging out with the insurance guys down the hall. So, sometimes you don’t know what you’ve got. Appreciate Mario.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 8:30 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   The Elf

      The ladies room is for “women” and we do not like knowing that you are in the space where we do our private business and things that are very private to ladies. See Casey in Human Resources for more Toilet Paper.



      Feb 24, 2011 at 11:17 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   liddy

      wow, where can I apply for this job? I could meet pretty much all those qualifications.

      Feb 25, 2011 at 6:26 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #9   Alex T. Valencic

    It was always a peeve of mine, when I managed a custodial company, that clients would complain about TP running out of a stall. Especially since just about every restroom has multiple stalls or, if they only have one stall, there are extra rolls nearby.

    On top of all that, there is always someone in the office who has access to the keys and can change out the TP if they happen to run out when the custodian isn’t present.

    I wish more people were like Katie!

    Feb 22, 2011 at 8:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #10   aaa bang

    What’s up with people calling toilet paper “bath tissue”? It just strikes me as a somewhat ridiculous way for people to try to forget that they piss and shit while acknowledging they still need toilet paper. DON’T FEAR THE TOILET, YOU PRUDES. EXCRETION WILL ONLY CONTROL YOU IF YOU LET IT.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 9:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   EmailsThatSuck

      Unless your excretions contain mind-controlling parasites, like toxoplasma gondii. In that case, you have to fear the toilet or lurve teh kittehs.

      Feb 22, 2011 at 11:39 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   gwan

      Yeah, seriously, how euphemistic can you get? Out of context I would have no idea what someone meant if, say, they asked me what aisle the ‘bath tissue’ was on in a supermarket.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 3:01 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   Canthz_B bang

      Maybe that she calls it bath tissue explains why they run out of the stuff so fast. Bathroom tissue doesn’t hold up very well in bath water.
      I suppose this means she works there, not that she studies there.

      What concerns me even more is women who insist upon wearing toilet water! Eau de toilette just sounds classier…to some.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 4:11 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   unholyghost2003 bang

      might be a regional thing? They turn some WEIRD phrases in KY. As I recall from living in KY the supermarket aisles are marked as having “Bathroom Tissue” this greatly confused me as growing up in WI the aisles were marked as having “Toilet Paper” or “Toilet Tissue.” At first I thought that they were just not mentioning the toilet paper at all and “Bathroom Tissue” referred to Kleenex.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 8:31 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   ashmeadow

      I’m always confused when people say it’s a location thing, when I’ve been in that location and have never heard any weird turns of phrase. Am I just oblivious.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 3:20 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.6   Odious

      Could be regional; I’ve never heard it called that out west. If I’d heard it I might have thought it was some fem-hygiene or a very cheap towel.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 4:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #10.7   Canthz_B bang

      Who knows, all I know is I’ve never said that I was going to the toilet…but I think now I’ll coin the phrase “I’m going to the urinal.”

      Feb 23, 2011 at 10:33 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #11   EmailsThatSuck

    This lady has a shitty attitude. And probably shitty pants. Given the lack of TP and the lack of paper towels, perhaps shitty hands as well.

    At least now one of them can use this note for TP in a pinch.

    Feb 22, 2011 at 11:45 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #12   Divvitar

    huh-huh-huh. In my country we have but one bung hole! Huh-huh, give me TP for my bung hole! Do not deprive me!

    Feb 23, 2011 at 12:40 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #13   Steve

    If that pic was taken in Lexington, then there’s a good chance it was at UK, which is a college, which is a very common venue for toilet paper theft.

    But no, it’s all Mario’s fault.

    Feb 23, 2011 at 1:12 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #14   Woman on the Verge bang

    Mario just wants the ladies to remember to use the old copier paper FIRST. Then, and only then, will he start using the NEW toilet paper and hand towels.

    Feb 23, 2011 at 9:28 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #15   The Elf

    Your toilet paper is in another castle.

    Feb 23, 2011 at 1:46 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #16   Chesire cat

    I really hope this was not the way they handled it first. I hope first they told him nicely that they are always out of stuff and could he try to check on that more often or leave extras or whatever. Then if nothing is done I could understand leaving a note but not one this bitchy. I would probably instead of leaving a note and asking first go ahead and talk to the supervisor.

    I get the feeling that the note was their first act and that is just sad and terrible.

    Feb 23, 2011 at 5:31 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #17   Nuki

    Do you wash you hands after you take a pee?

    Than why do you even need toilet paper?

    Feb 23, 2011 at 5:52 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   bowloftoast bang

      Nuki, there comes a time in every young man’s life when a discussion about the birds and the bees is necessary, and in your case, it’s urgent.

      Feb 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #18   DLo

    So, she stormed back to her desk, pulled up Word (after posting how really pissed – so to speak- she was at Mario on FB and Twitter), typed her PA note, fiddled with the font, font colors, italicized the red stuff, then borrowed some tape from Sue in the next cubicle, where she undoubtedly griped for 5 minutes about how she’s not taking Mario’s “crap” any more, marched back down the hall, posted her noted, marched back to her desk and fumed for another 10 minutes followed by 15 minutes of indulging in smug satisfaction fantasies because she assumed Mario reads stupid notes posted in the loo. Good thing she doesn’t have any actual WORK to do!

    Feb 24, 2011 at 6:46 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #19   babes of the 3rd floor

    As the authors of the note, we just want to clarify something. We were fine with running out of toilet paper when we had hand towels, it is only that being without BOTH is ruining our pants…

    Feb 24, 2011 at 7:43 am   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #20   Jesse

    Could you imagine how it would be if THX Sandra worked there? She’d probably have a fit knowing that a man was cleaning up the place where the ladies were doing the things that were special to the ladies in there.

    Feb 26, 2011 at 6:22 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up

  • #21   Patrick

    Heh, I live in Lexington. Kinda curious what building this is, now.

    Mar 5, 2011 at 10:09 pm   rating: 90  small thumbs up


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