Writes an anonymous roommate in Virginia: “Apparently living with me and my roommates is so terrible that after leaving the house, this girl felt the need to advise [my other] ‘rooms’ to stay at her boyfriend’s house and not with us.” Adds our (not-at-all bitter) submitter: “The only batteries she needs to recharge are the ones that go in her vibrator.”
related: Why can’t we all just get along? Don’t be bitches!
66 responses so far ↓
#1
j.b.
Wait, just who’s BF is Chris? The author or the target?
Feb 28, 2011 at 6:57 pm rating: 90
#2
lagne
Seriously, what is the point of stationery where you can only write on, like, half the page?
I find that more annoying than the various shades of pink, the panda-lookin’ shit, the trying-to-be-cool use of “rooms,” and the middle-school proclamations of roommate love.
Anything written on this kind of paper should automatically be considered PA. Unless you’re 4. And even then, you damn well better not have had access to anything better.
Feb 28, 2011 at 7:01 pm rating: 90
#3
Flynt
wait, is she saying she wants the house to herself so her BF can suck the life out of her?
Feb 28, 2011 at 7:07 pm rating: 90
#4
FeRD
OK, P-AN.com definitely needs a new Filed Under: tag for notes that have literally no idea how to use the word “literally” properly.
Kerri? Hop to!
Feb 28, 2011 at 7:07 pm rating: 90
#5
Che
LITERALLY
Feb 28, 2011 at 7:13 pm rating: 90
#6
DLo
Usually that life-sucking thing is carbon monoxide poisoning, so they should be careful. Unless there’s a basement, in which case there could be pods down there waiting to body-snatch the “rooms”. OR one of the roommates has an ouija board, which obviously (or literally) means there’s a demon sucking the life out of this poor girl. In any event, that panda isn’t going to save y’all. Run to Chris’ place!!!
Feb 28, 2011 at 7:48 pm rating: 90
#7
Chinchillazilla
Why the hell do bitchy girls all have identical handwriting?
Feb 28, 2011 at 7:57 pm rating: 90
#8
B
I’m not a huge fan of the submitter’s suggestion that using a vibrator makes someone a worse person.
Feb 28, 2011 at 8:04 pm rating: 90
#9
Who passed out the Haterade?
Am I the only one who thinks this looks like it was written on a maxipad? (Which wouldn’t be quite so disturbing if it weren’t for the hair on the top.)
Feb 28, 2011 at 8:20 pm rating: 90
#10
Kimberly
They cleverly cropped the photo above the Greek letters but… this was definitely written on sorority stationery — the old design from Alexandra & Company. The panda is Alpha Omicron Pi.
Feb 28, 2011 at 8:55 pm rating: 90
#11
Smiley4099
I think this note was written by Chris in an attempt to get ladies in his place. Oh, Chris, that silly sausage.
Feb 28, 2011 at 9:23 pm rating: 90
#12
Canthz_B
The life was literally sucked out of her. She’s gone on to a better place, one that makes her happy.
RIP, Roomie.
Feb 28, 2011 at 10:31 pm rating: 90
#13
matt
hmm, I would have a similar problem in this situation, except that my “batteries” would need unloading not charging. I bet Chris was happy enough to plug her in to ‘charge’.
Feb 28, 2011 at 11:00 pm rating: 90
#14
James
Maybe don’t fuck so loud?
Mar 1, 2011 at 12:26 am rating: 90
#15
pony girl
I sort of hate her just for using the word rooms in that way.
Mar 1, 2011 at 12:39 am rating: 90
#16
joey
The energy in these replies are literally sucking the life force out of me. I LOVE YOU.
Mar 1, 2011 at 2:04 am rating: 90
#17
The_Great_G
Those ladies can stay at my place any night, so long as they don’t mind that one of my roommates likes to get blacked-out drunk and puke everywhere
Mar 1, 2011 at 6:28 am rating: 90
#18
madrugada
I’m still trying to figure out how many roommates there are. Were there three, one of whom is the dumbass with the sorority stationery who doesn’t like the submitter? And she’s writing to the third roommate – um, er, rooms, who has a boyfriend named Chris? But the submitter ending her explanation with “advise her ‘rooms’ to stay at her boyfriend’s house and not with us” seems to imply that there is yet another roommate/rooms lurking about.
This sorority twatwaffle needs to take a remedial writing course. And can the person who submitted this give us an accurate count of the number of ‘rooms’ there are in this now twatwaffleless household? That is…assuming that none of the surviving rooms, not to mention Chris, is a twatwaffle. Perhaps a dangerous assumption.
Mar 1, 2011 at 6:54 am rating: 90
#19
divaandwriter
In the old days a note like this would have just been stuck up on a bulletin board or a fridge door for everyone in the house to laugh at. Now it is posted on the internet for the world to laugh at. My, how times have changed!
Mar 1, 2011 at 9:45 am rating: 90
#20
meta
you know how when you google a company and the top result is their main page, with several sub-categories linked in columns underneath, such as “Housewares” or “Ordering” or “Support”? When you google this site, one of those subcategories is “Fucking delicious.”
Now that’s fucking delicious!
Mar 1, 2011 at 10:11 am rating: 90
#21
micromachine
Pandas are very sensitive to energies in small spaces. If their space isn’t properly feng shui-ed they tend to write passive-aggressively on pink stationary and maul bringers of bad chi.
Mar 1, 2011 at 1:11 pm rating: 90
#22
aaa
Is it just me, or has it been a really long time since somebody involved with the note (submitter, writer, friend of a friend of some person who knew about the epic bitchfest between note writer and submitter, etc.) has gotten on here and “clarified” things? I kind of miss that. Maybe the submitter and/or note writer should come on here and regale us with tales of living with each other.
Mar 1, 2011 at 3:13 pm rating: 90
#23
Canthz_B
You know, lots of girls will go out of town and leave their boyfriend a video or voice recording, maybe a nice picture of their tits.
Setting Chris up with a threesome shows she really likes to take care of her man!
Mar 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm rating: 90
#24
graham_cracker
I sincerely hope that stationary isn’t the kind that’s made out of recycled panda turds. That shit’s nasty…
Mar 2, 2011 at 2:46 am rating: 90
#25
Bunny
Did she write this reply on a pantyliner wrapper?
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:44 am rating: 90
#26
People Person
She is using “literally” quite correctly, folks. Her batteries need to be recharged but due to the dampening field in their apartment which sucks the life force (i.e., charge) out of her and her batteries, she needs to recharge them elsewhere. Case closed.
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:15 am rating: 90
#27
Farah
This looks like a note my robot vacuum cleaner Roomba would leave for me, right before it goes back to the docking station.
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:24 pm rating: 90
#28
Submitter
Submitter here,
Ok so I would like to point out a few things:
A) You all just made my day.
B) I never suggested vibrators were a bad thing, I was advocating their useage. LITERALLY hahaha.
C) Unfortunately, the word ‘rooms’ is referring to one person. Apparently it’s acceptable to pluralize words to make them cutesy nicknames. As you can see the writer’s writing skills are undoubtedly fantastic.
Clarification: There are four roommates in total : ‘Rooms’ and the writer in one room, and myself and another roommate in the other. The note was intended for ‘rooms’ to let her know that the writer was leaving for the night and ‘rooms’ should also leave to go to her boyfriend’s house (because the house is apparently a death trap). However, it was strategically placed so that we (the other two roommates) could see it. So we would know how much she dislikes living in our presence. Lovely, rooms, just lovely.
Mar 8, 2011 at 7:34 pm rating: 90
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