So, Dana was hanging out at a friend’s place with a bunch of people, and — as many people do these days — was texting back and forth with her significant other in the midst of the conversation. Our submitter didn’t give any indication that this was a formal dinner party or anything like that, but apparently the host was so enraged by Dana’s breach of etiquette that he or she left the room to type, print, and sign this note, and then — due to the lack of an available notary public — handed it directly to Dana.
related: We’re ALL busy, man.
240 responses so far ↓
#1
Madame Suggia
I’d have done the same.
Put the damn phone down and interact with some humans, face to face, you ungracious, ill mannered, self centered madam.
It’s not all about you.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:28 pm rating: 340
#2
Quite Contrary
I think the only way Dana would understand the note is if it was written like this:
“Im not in2 ppl who sit txt tlk to SO all the time esp when its someone I hvnt cn in a yl.
Get out.
Illgibl sig here”
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:34 pm rating: 128
#3
Mama Wrench
I have a picture of 10 of my friends at a table, in a bar, every single one of them on a cell phone texting or playing games.
Seriously, if your life is SO tied to your cell phone that you can’t drop it for a few hours and you’re not a doctor or a lawyer or someone else who needs to be on call, you really need to reprioritize.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:37 pm rating: 156
#4
Kim
I would have been annoyed too, but probably would have called her out on it in a half-joking way, “like, I’m sorry are we boring you?”. The whole typing out a note thing, signing it and handing it to her is pretty over the top. It’s like something I would have done to my brother when I was 10.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:40 pm rating: 125
#5
Clifton Griffin
You may want to proof read that last paragraph. Some typos interrupt the otherwise humorous description.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:42 pm rating: 0
#6
The Enclosed Instruction Book
Looks like Dana’s texting… *sunglasses* …was a bad call.
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:43 pm rating: 116
#7
Twez
She should have texted that message to Dana.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:45 pm rating: 60
#8
mediabrat
Team nobody. Dana needs to put the damn phone away and the host needs to see a doctor about getting that stick surgically removed from his ass.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:46 pm rating: 150
#9
Sarah
Team Dana. Yeah, texting while in a group is boorish and inconsiderate, but the “Get out.” really pushes the note over the top.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:48 pm rating: 46
#10
Laura
Ugh this annoys the crap out of me – I was at a bonfire with friends once and everyone was just texting someone else instead of talking to each other. But so many people do that now that you just have to deal :\
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:52 pm rating: 13
#11
karen
The note says “text or talk” which makes me think that the sender would have been just as annoyed with Dana if her SO had been sitting next to her. Maybe texting is not the issue so much as being joined at the hip with your SO.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:58 pm rating: 8
#12
Destructor
While typing it up and printing it up was a douche move, do agree with the sentiment- people who come to parties and just spend the whole time (or indeed, any time at all) on their phone will not be receiving a repeat invitation.
Mar 2, 2011 at 7:59 pm rating: 37
#13
Jill
I think the typing of the note was a statement itself. It would have been better if it was texted.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:07 pm rating: 23
#14
Odious
And that goes for the other people present answering the phone, putting on some music or daydreaming, too!
(Aren’t “not really into” and “get out” extreme opposites?)
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:15 pm rating: 3
#15
tabitha
how many is a ‘bunch’ of people, and how much texting was being done? if we’re talking more than 8 other friends and 1 text every, oh, i don’t know, 8-15 minutes, then yes, this was overkill. if this was 3-4 close friends, and you’re texting every 5 minutes… that’s just wrong. if dana was texting DURING a conversation though. then yeah, i’d get pretty persnickety as well. gotta keep in mind that i don’t know what all’s happened up to this point. could be that dana was ignoring people… i’d be pissed if a ‘good’ friend was ignoring me.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:19 pm rating: 7
#16
FeRD
…Claaaaaaasic! LOL.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:21 pm rating: 22
#17
Mamabug (now with more resolutions!)
Sounds like a friend worth having right there. (/s)
Yeah, don’t text the whole time you’re at a party (casual or not) but printing out a freaking note and HANDING it over? wow. They must be extremely close friends.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:21 pm rating: 6
#18
Down with Dana
Go friend, I like that move. Texting back and forth–not just once–is so rude. The worst part is, Dana obviously doesn’t even see this is her fault, since she submitted it to this site. Take responsibility. The friend seems fed up, maybe Dana is always thoughtless.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:23 pm rating: 69
#19
flameonglass
Awesome!
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:26 pm rating: 2
#20
Valkyrie
I’d say the friendship was over before the “Get out.” If I haven’t seen a friend in a while and all I want to do is text and talk to my SO…then it’s because this friend and I have grown apart and I’m no longer having a good time. Besides, everyone knows hipsters are no fun.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:26 pm rating: 11
#21
Henry
Dana sucks. She IS oblivious and righteous. She’s in the wrong and I hope she can’t pay her cell/internet/cable bills in the future and is forced to change her life.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:29 pm rating: 28
#22
Canthz_B
Back when my wife and I were just dating she used to take phone calls while we were out and go into full conversation mode.
Finally, we were in a restaurant and she took a call before ordering or even looking at the menu. Having had enough, I advised her to tell her party that she was currently unavailable, decide what she wanted to eat before the waitress showed up and carry her butt outside to talk on the phone if the caller was more important to her than spending quality time with me.
Now her voice-mail gets lots of use.
Mar 2, 2011 at 8:32 pm rating: 65
#23
GG
The friend may have guilt tripped the girl into going to begin with, if she wanted one on one time… maybe have something more private than a party (I mean really, how much time do you get to spend with the host of a party?), and a Please Leave would have been just as appropriate without being as insulting as Get Out.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:19 pm rating: 7
#24
Sivart Navi
The worst for me was a friend who was complaining about how RUDE it was for people to regularly text while in a social situation. For some reason, she has never paid attention to herself in social situations. She’s the text queen.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:23 pm rating: 10
#25
jen
I had a friend that was doing the same thing while we were out and about on the town to have some girl time. I got up and left. She had the nerve to ask me where I went to the next day. (I don’t have a cell for her to have texted me earlier to ask). I wish more people would do the same.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:35 pm rating: 33
#26
Lauren--NY
That’s pretty psychotic.
Texting while sitting casually around a living room or den with a bunch of people is not the same thing as texting at the dinner table. It’s not appropriate when someone is trying to engage you in conversation, but if everybody’s sitting around chatting and there’s either a lull in the conversation or everyone else is engaged in speaking and she’s not involved in the conversation at the moment, there’s nothing wrong with having your phone out. People need to chill.
Even if she was being rude and pointedly ignoring people, this kind of response is weird and terrifying.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:39 pm rating: 34
#27
Lucy
I probably would have sent a text asking if I was boring her…. Yes, lots of people sit and text in social situations, ignoring their friends. Yes, it’s still incredibly rude.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:47 pm rating: 39
#28
mspassive
Not going to lie it’s annoying when someone is using the phone when you’re trying to eat dinner with them. http://www.appliancerepairlesson.com especially if it’s someone I haven’t seen in a while. The obviously think the person on the line is more important.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:53 pm rating: 3
#29
pony girl
Would anyone go to a dinner party and go to use the landline phone to call someone every five minutes (just to chat) ??
Would anyone go to a dinner party and leave every five minutes to walk next door and chat with someone??
If they’re rude they would.
Dana needs to learn some manners.
Dana was rude and got her ass handed to her on a platter. I don’t see anything wrong with this note.
Mar 2, 2011 at 9:59 pm rating: 63
#30
snee
there is only one winner in this scenario: the PAN community!
Mar 2, 2011 at 10:07 pm rating: 27
#31
Kat
While the note may have been a little overboard, bitch put your damn phone down and SPEAK to people. It’s flat rude to text while talking to someone else, especially in their home at their dinner. And if it is THAT important excuse yourself and call the person.
Mar 2, 2011 at 10:50 pm rating: 33
#32
TCHICA
The note was extremely PA. The hostess waited long enough to get that pissed; then, instead of saying something in a civilized manner; she LEAVES her guests to type this snotty note. If she had an issue with her “friend’s” behavior, she should’ve said something in an adult manner. Passing notes (typed, no less) is for children. Grow up and talk to your friend like a FRIEND would.
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:03 pm rating: 27
#33
Lana
Dana totally deserved. How incredibly rude. I just can’t decide if she needs help more for her co-dependence or her texting.
She’s incredibly arrogant.
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:20 pm rating: 19
#34
aaa
Dana’s not rude, she’s just way ahead of everybody else in solely devoting herself to the high tech glory of electronic communication and telling face-to-face interaction and everybody who engages in it to fuck off. She’s totally ahead of the curve, riding the wave of the future. Talking to people directly is so last century. What kind of fucking loser does that? I mean, you all don’t actually expect people to bother speaking with each other in person in fifty years, do you? Jeez, get with it, people!
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:50 pm rating: 21
#35
aaa
Hm, I think it would be the bee’s knees if Dana had a conversation with her significant other via Facebook. I bet it would be gloriously STFU Couples-worthy.
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:52 pm rating: 6
#36
aaa
Also, because I can’t stop spewing my thoughts at people today, like I said a few posts ago, I’m seriously hoping that the people involved in this note decide to grace us with their presence. I MISS THE GOOD OLD DAYS, DAMMIT. WANGST AND NET-BITCHING FOR ALL! MY LUST FOR CONFLICT HAS NOT BEEN FULFILLED.
Mar 2, 2011 at 11:54 pm rating: 8
#37
Edhla
PA or not, the letter is awesome. I wish more people (like myself) had the zero tolerance attitude to guests being so incredibly self-centred and rude. Alas, for myself it isn’t politeness that stops me, more like passivity
I HATE trying to have a conversation with someone who is clearly more interested in texting someone else.
I also hate being the guest of somebody who answers a phone call, usually from their SO, and then strands me for anything more than about two or three minutes while I wait for them to finish their phone call and be a gracious host.
Seriously, if you have a guest and you get a phone call, whatever happened to having manners and explaining to your caller “I have a guest just now, but I’ll call you back”?
If I am with friends or family and get a text, I excuse myself, read the text, and only if it’s CRUCIAL do I apologise for the interruption and go onto a balcony or something to call in response. If it’s “hey, how was your day?” from my SO, he can wait!
Dana sucked and deserved this. How utterly rude of her.
Mar 3, 2011 at 2:05 am rating: 20
#38
Nahhh
I’m going to get one of these signs and hang it on my front door:
http://www.phonesoff.net/refrain-cell-phone.html
Or maybe I’ll make my own…and print it in Comic Sans. With a smily face at the bottom.
Mar 3, 2011 at 2:13 am rating: 5
#39
Laura Brown
For heaven’s sake, Dana, that’s what the bathroom’s for. And if you need to go there to text your SO so often that people start thinking you have diarrhea, then maybe you should just stay home with your SO in the first place.
And I agree that the host’s note should have been texted.
Mar 3, 2011 at 2:54 am rating: 15
#40
Spag Hoops
Ironically, all of the texts can now be read on damnyouautocorrect.
Mar 3, 2011 at 2:54 am rating: 1
#41
boxes
Team Dana, if only because the sort of person that goes and composes, prints and signs a letter instead of saying something to someone’s face- you know, like normal human beings do- is probably not worth visiting in the first place. That’s a seriously creepy way to communicate with someone you’re in the same room with. That’s sitcom material, there.
Mar 3, 2011 at 3:06 am rating: 22
#42
Silence
While I empathize with the letter writer, I can’t help but think it was a huge overreaction. I mean, if someone had handed me a note like this, effectively evicting me from their home, I’d consider the friendship over. It’s shocking to me that letter writer was willing to risk that outcome, and if so, I’m wondering why they invited Dana in the first place.
Also, how is it NOT equally rude to storm off to a computer and type out a nasty note to a guest? The other guests were put in a terrible situation. Bad, bad hosting.
Mar 3, 2011 at 3:13 am rating: 14
#43
Who? Me?
This just goes to show why knowledge of etiquette is so important.
“Please get out” would have been much more polite.
But she seems to have tried … I like the use of Dear at the beginning of the note, before she brings the hatchet out.
And I hope she enclosed the note in an envelope, so that none of the other guests would see it’s contents.
Mar 3, 2011 at 3:30 am rating: 9
#44
Trevor
Interesting article on phone etiquette here: http://techcrunch.com/2011/02/21/phones-at-dinner/
Mar 3, 2011 at 3:40 am rating: 1
#45
juniper
I love it. And I got the sense that the medium was chosen as a means of mocking Dana’s inability to respond to anything other than text. Not to be passive aggressive.
The ‘get out’ is a bit harsh though.
Mar 3, 2011 at 4:48 am rating: 8
#46
Penny
in the dim and distant past, up to about 15 years ago, couples used to pass each other flirtatious, or possibly PA, written notes across the dinner table. Just as annoying
Mar 3, 2011 at 6:54 am rating: 2
#47
Alyssa
Haha that is pretty hilarious. While the method of delivery was a bit extreme (but funny) I can’t stand texters either. I understand certain situations (my grandma’s in the hospital, my mom just texted me an update) but the constant back and forth texting a significant other or whoever is rude. I can’t stand hanging out with people like that, if you are WITH me, give ME your attention.
Mar 3, 2011 at 6:57 am rating: 4
#48
unholyghost2003
I am firmly team NOBODY but I think we have a very rare situation here that is resulting in the team splits. The responding PAN-ners are all sane.
Team Hostess folks are having trouble imagining that someone might be tightly wound enough to throw a giant hissy-fit in the middle of a party and leave, compose, and print out a note without having first tried less dramatic methods of communication. Let me tell you, those folks ARE out there. There are plenty of people with short fuses that go straight for the sledge hammer when dealing with a fly.
Team Dana seems to be having trouble imagining that there are people who text constantly about inane things and are unable to multi-task while doing so. There are plenty of folks out there who WONT STOP TEXTING and yet can not interact with people around them WHILE they are texting. trufax. It is that last bit about multitasking that is the key (and is probably part of the generational difference CB was wondering about).
My husband and several of our friends have jobs where they are never really off the clock. They get texts and emails about work stuff all day and all night. These are not life or death situations, but replying to them in a timely fashion can mean the difference between a pay raise or not, keeping their jobs or not, making sure others keep their jobs or not, etc. Everyone I know who has a job like this is really good at texting while holding a conversation in person.
I have no problem with people texting while talking to me, as long as they are also actually interacting with ME, the person right in front of them. 99% of the time casual party chat IS less important than work issues.
I think Karen and SoRefined bring up a key issue that is getting forgotten in the debate over who is rudest. “I’m really not into those people who sit and text or talk *to their significant others* all the time.” To me this smacks of a Type-A girly who declared the gathering a “~*Girls Night*~” and is pissed about WHO Dana is texting, not the fact that Dana is texting. I wonder if the hostess would have cared had Dana been texting someone with a vagina about the latest episode of Gray’s Anatomy.
I get a “how DARE you find your S/O more interesting than our discussions of vagazzeling and Taylor Lautner’s abs?!?” sort of vibe.
Mar 3, 2011 at 7:03 am rating: 22
#49
BB
I wrote out this story and it gave me an error, I hit back and it was gone. Friggin A, thanks for not putting “required” beside the email block.
TEAM NO ONE. They obviously weren’t that close to begin with and you don’t do that to friends(texting during a convo AND writing a simple note like that.) They were both wrong in my opinion, but I still enjoy this thoroughly because it’s not meeeee
!
Mar 3, 2011 at 7:19 am rating: 1
#50
Splint Chesthair
Apparently, from articles I’ve read, people are actually addicted to texting. Sending off the message is a rush and when we get a reply there’s a little dopamine release. It’s why people get so angry if they don’t get an immediate response.
My daughter does this, and yes, it’s annoying especially when you’re trying to tell her something important. I don’t get angry, I’ll just walk away in the middle of the conversation. Sometimes she doesn’t even notice.
Mar 3, 2011 at 7:51 am rating: 7
#51
Theis13
http://www.squidoo.com/welcome-to-college
Mar 3, 2011 at 7:52 am rating: 0
#52
Lindsaur
I honestly think I’m Team Host just because it’s so brazen. It also seems like the choice of note wasn’t based on avoiding confrontation, but to emphasize Dana’s attachment to written communication rather than spoken.
Mar 3, 2011 at 8:23 am rating: 11
#53
The Elf
Quick – somebody bring up tipping or outdoor cats! I think this thread might be dying!
Mar 3, 2011 at 8:46 am rating: 7
#54
I donno
I work with labouring mothers in the delivery room. I have been so ready to throw people’s phones in the trash – mom actually texting or updating her facebook before she’s held her newborn for the first time, as the nurse stands next to her waiting to hand her the baby… Dad on the phone answering the never-ending text messages during labour. Prenatal meetings with the parents where dad sits there on his blackberry. Post-natal meetings where both mom and dad are on their phones while an auntie is holding the baby, neither of them looking up from their phones as they’re talking to me.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:17 am rating: 20
#55
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Being so dull that your interlocutor feels the need to text someone else during the conversation is also pretty rude.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:24 am rating: 7
#56
Kathryn
The details of the party are irrelevant. Anybody who thinks the typed note is “way over the top” is more than sort of missing the “evidently-you-don’t-do-human-interaction-so-here’s-your-text-message” element. This isn’t even close to passive aggressive. It’s freaking funny. And if you think it’s anything other than funny, well… quite simply… you’re an idiot. Good luck with today.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:25 am rating: 24
#57
oi
I was team hostess until the last sentence. I was appreciating the her guts and honesty but then she pulled out “Get out” and I did too.
Seriously constant texting is rude when you are with somebody. No question about it. One text in once in a while (obviously something like be late, drunk pick me up etc) is ok. Nobody would care. If you are going to keep your face in your phone then why does it matter that you are sitting on somebody’s couch or on your own toilet sit.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:28 am rating: 12
#58
Dr. Chalkwitheringlicktacklefeff
Team Dana. All texting involves is moving your thumb. Is it really rude to move your thumb while having a conversation with someone? If I move my thumb in a rhythmic fashion without holding a cell phone is THAT rude too? I don’t see the material difference. Human beings of both genders are perfectly capable of multi-tasking and holding a conversation while performing small-scale manual tasks with their digits; no problem.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:30 am rating: 4
#59
Persephone
We seem to have a clash of world views between Dana and her hostess (I’m going with female): Dana has submitted this because obviously she doesn’t think she was rude (“Can you believe this person? “) while her hostess has decided: “This is rude and everybody knows this, so get out.” (Dana’s probably an Aquarius; hostess is definitely a Leo.)
Personally, I would go the truly passive-aggressive route and not say a thing, but quietly cut Dana out of my life — which Dana wouldn’t notice because she’s too busy texting….
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:33 am rating: 12
#60
oi
I think hostess could have handled it little better. I would not write a note ever. I would probably take a friendly jab about her texting and people not getting her majesty’s company or something like that.
Hope that she gets the hint. If she does not well then she would not be invited again. Obviously she is not having fun at my home. Why herself and others and in the party? If she can’t make that call I certainly will.
The note would be fine too without blunt get out.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:35 am rating: 5
#61
pony girl
Ooooh, read the ‘Get out’ in that voice from the original Amityville movie.
Creepy.
ps – Tocqueville, Brazzaville, Amenability, Artillerymen: all word options given to me when I misspelled Amityville with two m’s. Just thought it was funny.
Mar 3, 2011 at 9:49 am rating: 4
#62
Selphie
Kind of uncalled for. Sure, I also absolutely are annoyed of people who text all the time, but that note is JUST as rude. Probably more so, since people who text all time may not know how much it’s bothering people. They’re just doing something they do all the time normally. Sad, but true.
I would have just said something (politely) to the person’s FACE. It doesn’t even have to be explicit. I usually say something like “Wow, you text a lot,” and that’s enough to give the person a hint and get her to apologize. Why write a note? Might as well just have texted it to her.
Mar 3, 2011 at 10:07 am rating: 3
#63
fitzy
So what in Dana’s opinion is a “formal” dinner party? Does there need to be placecards and 3 different forks… evening gowns perhaps?
If you have come over to my house and I have gone to the trouble of making food for you, put the bloody phone away!
Mar 3, 2011 at 10:26 am rating: 21
#64
BonzoGal
Team Get Out FTW!
Mar 3, 2011 at 10:44 am rating: 9
#65
Edwina the Defrocked Nun
Don’t like your guests’ behavior?
Don’t invite them to your next party. Simple.
Mar 3, 2011 at 11:57 am rating: 8
#66
SarahG
To be honest, texting at dinner or in the middle of a conversation (Ex: “Did you end you end up getting that promotion– oop, just got a text!”) is rude but we don’t know if that was the case here. I tend to check my phone every once-in-a-while when I’m out, but certainly not when I’m eating or in the middle of a conversation.
That out of the way… Why does everyone assume the “host” was a woman? It could have been a jealous man. I can see the name of the soap opera now: Texts of Our Lives
Mar 3, 2011 at 12:23 pm rating: 2
#67
chesire cat
Team note writer
An occasional text or something here and there is fine or stepping out for a quick phone call is fine. However doing that for a long period of time is rude to your hostess and the other guests. I don’t know if I would have said something at the time, but said person would not have been invited into my home again.
Mar 3, 2011 at 12:34 pm rating: 2
#68
Resident Grammarian esq
I would have printed out the note, signed it, scanned it back into my computer, then save that scan to my phone, then sent it as a picture message to Dana. It’s less formal, but more awesome when she expects a text from her BF and instead gets a note like that.
Mar 3, 2011 at 12:43 pm rating: 14
#69
Heirloom Vegetable Seeds
Do you think it would have been more apparent it the person who typed the note would have texted “Dana” this message?
Mar 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm rating: 1
#70
*snerk*
Since the hostess typed and printed the note in an “all you can take in is text communication” spirit, I’m betting she doesn’t have a cell phone, or if she has one, it does not text easily.
If that’s the case, then it was truly a clash of not just hostess/guest, but non-texter/texter. No wonder there were fireworks. Dana’s probably thinking, “She just doesn’t understaaaaannndd!”
Mar 3, 2011 at 1:15 pm rating: 3
#71
lili
They’re both rude but the hostess wins in passive aggression.
Seriously, who texts at a dinner party? I text. I like texting. I can put down my phone. It’s called self-control.
Mar 3, 2011 at 1:36 pm rating: 8
#72
Na
It is a bit of an overreaction and could have been handled much differently, but I have a friend who does this and it is quite rude.
Mar 3, 2011 at 1:45 pm rating: 2
#73
Roto13
There’s nothing passive about that (completely founded, imo) aggression.
Mar 3, 2011 at 2:44 pm rating: 4
#74
hehe
The funniest part of this whole thing was when Precy compared texting during a conversation to going on a shooting rampage. Dumbass.
Mar 3, 2011 at 4:24 pm rating: 1
#75
VZG
Do I have to choose a team before I write my message? I don’t see a “team” part on this form and it leaves me so confused. Also, I notice there is a “team nobody” and now I’m curious as to what sport this is that plays with three teams.
Mar 4, 2011 at 1:10 am rating: 1
#76
ghostbuck
I think I would have just asked Dana to leave. Formal or not, I loathe these people who seem to think so highly of themselves they can’t finish one conversation before starting another on their phone. Dana, if you don’t have the good manners and upbringing or are so insecure in your relationship with your “significant other” to pay attention to the people who are right in front of you… maybe you should skip the dinner and just wait at home till he texts you.
Mar 4, 2011 at 2:40 am rating: 7
#77
Will
I am truly astonished at how many people are condoning and/or applauding the behavior of the letter typing wacko in this PAN.
Seriously, it is 2011, and people text on their phone. Get over it. If it personally bothers you, fine, that is YOUR issue. Something is not inherently rude simply because it bothers YOU.
That said, if it was this person’s home, I suppose in the 50′s tupperware party sense of things, they have a right to say something…but to excuse yourself, type up an incredibly rude note (which ends with the phrase, “Get out.”) and then hand it to this person, is beyond rude. It is is absolutely crazy. What on earth did this person expect the texter to do? Stand up and leave without an explanation? Stand up, explain WHY she was leaving? In which case, why not just say something out loud in front of everyone?
If this was me, and I was hosting some super official, everyone-pay-attention-to-me, snobby dinner party, and I was oh-so-offended by someone sending a few text messages to their boyfriend, the most I might do is make a few joking comments about it, to see if the person might recognize on their own that it might be bothering some people.
This is truly a paradigm shift in the commentary for PAN. I am astonished. Is everyone commenting here like 60 years old with some cell phone allergy? Seriously, a typewritten note in the middle of a dinner party that ends with “Get out” and a signature, and you’re all defending it?
What the fuck is going on? Seriously! I have been reading these comments for 10 minutes with my mouth agape. Am I alone on this?
Mar 4, 2011 at 4:00 am rating: 20
#78
jilly
The site informs me I cannot have an empty comment, but then i cannot delete it either…
Mar 4, 2011 at 8:47 am rating: 1
#79
The Undertaker
The hostess sounds like Dana’s obsessive-compulsive roommate that used to chide her for slicing vegetables improperly.
Mar 4, 2011 at 11:50 am rating: 2
#80
Mandi
I’m not going to read all the comments, so sorry if this was already posted… but MAYBE this wasn’t PA. Maybe the host was trying to make a point about how this chick communicates. You can’t do face to face? Here’s a letter, jerk. I would’ve texted her.
Mar 4, 2011 at 11:50 am rating: 5
#81
paw print pet tags
The hostess didn’t pull any punches either…just “GET OUT”.
Mar 4, 2011 at 3:36 pm rating: 1
#82
Drunk and Bitter Jesus
I had to register just for the privilege of commenting on this note. I think “Get out.” was a little over the top, but otherwise Dana seems to have deserved a comeuppance. Even better would have been to have everyone in the room quietly surround her and stare at her until she bothered to pay attention to them.
Mar 4, 2011 at 5:48 pm rating: 5
#83
DC
The “Get Out” made the note slip from amusing-nudge-ha-ha to Enraged Overreaction. Both were wrong, but they are clearly not well-matched as friends…and thus, both are better off.
Mar 4, 2011 at 7:53 pm rating: 4
#84
Meg
I gotta say, that’s pretty damn rude. When you’re at someones home, with other people, put your damn cell phone away.
Though, a note was a bit over the top as well.
Mar 4, 2011 at 9:01 pm rating: 0
#85
ChillyChilly
Team Nobody. I kinda look at this and think “Yeah, you really shouldn’t text at particular social gatherings where talking is usually expected. Especially when the host probably invited you to try and rekindle a lost friendship. It would’ve been more polite to just say no thank you and stay home.”
Although I also have to say that texting in some social situations is perfectly okay. A lot of my friends text each other BECAUSE of the social gathering, in DnD (I know, I’m a huge nerd. But what to do when its -25 outside for 3/4ths of the year?) we use texting as a way to communicate when the entire group ISN’T supposed to hear things. Like between particular players and the DM. Previous generations were raised to believe that ignoring a host is incredibly annoying and rude. Current generations are just adapting to what’s around them in the times. And if texting is something that isn’t accepted in a particular situation maybe tell them you’ll catch up with them later? I dunno. Its hard to talk to people in a place where meeting outside your home can be a hazard. Texting is nice. and So is internet surfing and Facebooking.
Mar 4, 2011 at 11:37 pm rating: 1
#86
boxes
Sure are a lot of people filling in the details about the event with their own version of things.
Note to potential submitters: Make sure to include a highly detailed account of the situation, lest the CSI: Passive Aggressive Notes squad put together some crazy fiction to justify the insults they want to sling at you and anybody that disagrees with them.
Mar 5, 2011 at 8:50 am rating: 5
#87
FunFunRaRa
This is gloriously passive aggressive. From now on, I’m dropping all use of “Kind Regards”, “Sincerely” or “Your Friend” from my written communications and replacing them with terse, aggressive instructions.
Die painfully,
*Insert massive signature here*
Mar 6, 2011 at 2:51 am rating: 3
#88
stinkbait
Reguardless of what the person did, I find it epically funny that this person took the time to get out, type the note, print it, sign it and then just hand it to her. (crazy people do this).
I would flip the back over, grab a pen, and write a retort.
A good retort.
Mar 6, 2011 at 8:15 am rating: 2
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