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“Place cats in box”

March 16th, 2011 · 53 comments

A few months ago, one of the stray cats around Kristen‘s townhouse in Redding, California had a litter of kittens, which have since grown into a small army of vicious feral felines. Kristen says she and her husband were just discussing getting one those live cat traps to deal with the problem when they came across the landlord’s DIY version.

“Apparently,” says Kristen, “he expects us to wrestle one of these very angry animals through the hole in this cardboard box, leave it there to play with some makeshift ‘cat toys,’ and then call the Humane Society in the morning. It’s so easy!”

I’m thinking this landlord must watched one too many Maru videos on YouTube

FERAL CATS: Place cats in box. Leave out of the rain. Call Haven Humane 241-2550.

Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.

related: Don’t feed the cat (or the trolls)

FILED UNDER: animal welfare · cats · landlords and property managers · WTF?

53 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Burp


    Mar 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   clumber

      ..of Jack? Kei$ha?

      Mar 17, 2011 at 5:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #2   Jen

    “Place cats in box” Bwahahhahahahahahaha

    Mar 16, 2011 at 9:12 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #2.1   jadefirefly

      He already handled step one – “Cut a hole in the box”!

      Mar 16, 2011 at 10:21 pm   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #2.2   The Elf

      I have one (not feral) cat who would fall for it, though. If I leave any box-like structure around, he’ll be in it. All I have to do is pretend I don’t care about it. On the plus side it’s easy to get him to go to the vet.

      Then I have another cat who is nearly impossible to get into her carrier. She turns into a whirlwind of destruction, sprouting about a dozen more legs than she has normally. It usually ends with a “band-aid moment”.

      Ironically, both cats were former ferals who were captured with standard live cat traps.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 6:35 am   rating: 23  small thumbs up

    • #2.3   Clumber

      I have, a couple times in life, worked at veterinary hospitals. Thus I am quite traumatized by even the words feral cats placed together.

      If anyone needs me, i’ll be over there ↓ under my desk or bed, sucking my thumb, and whimpering quietly.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 8:40 am   rating: 34  small thumbs up

  • #3   WaitAMinute

    hahahah! How passive agressive!!!! umm, err, wait.. no…

    Mar 16, 2011 at 9:14 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #4   Anruiishi bang

    Those cats were fucking delicious.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 9:19 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #4.1   AuntyBron

      Yeah! They tasted just like chicken.

      Mar 16, 2011 at 10:11 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #4.2   Lenny!

      With a hint of shame.

      Mar 16, 2011 at 11:13 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #4.3   *snerk*

      You hardly notice the shame if you include a big dollop of obliviousness.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 11:29 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #5   MandatorySchrödingerReference

    Schrödinger would be proud…

    Mar 16, 2011 at 9:21 pm   rating: 50  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Sed

      Or not – we’ll never know!

      Mar 16, 2011 at 9:39 pm   rating: 44  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   Canthz_B bang

      Probably, but there are infinite possibilities.

      Mar 16, 2011 at 10:50 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

  • #6   Nahhh bang

    Our last apartment manager would have just left a sack with a few rocks in it and a length of rope. Luckily we had no stray cats around, only the few that lived with us.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 9:31 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #7   Jimmy James

    It’s an improvement over feeding them to the ATM
    à la Patrick Bateman.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 10:19 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #8   liz

    Do you have to keep the feral cats out of the rain because they will turn into gremlins when they get wet?

    Mar 16, 2011 at 10:34 pm   rating: 43  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   lupanime

      Of course not! Everybody knows feral cats turn into gremlins only when fed after midnight. You have to keep them out of the rain so they don’t multiply.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 2:32 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Other Julie bang

      Perhaps his concern is that the box will fill up with water and the cat will drown.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #9   Canthz_B bang

    Someone left the cat out in the rain.
    I don’t think I like that crap shit,
    ’cause it took so long to trap it,
    and I’ll never have that energy again.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 10:55 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

  • #10   Canthz_B bang

    Place cat in hat.

    Leave out in the rain if you know what’s good for you.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 11:03 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

  • #11   Canthz_B bang

    If they put the pusses in boots instead of boxes they should be OK if left out in the rain.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 11:06 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #12   Kristen

    Ha ha, I’m so glad my submission made it onto this site!

    What you can’t see is that he cut a jagged hole in the top of the box and tied a string to the ceiling, letting the string dangle into the box, as if that would keep the diseased felines occupied until Haven gets there.

    Mar 16, 2011 at 11:19 pm   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #12.1   Serenity

      Aw, I find that oddly sweet :)He didn’t want them to be bored in their cardboard prison. That, and the admonition to not leave them in the rain, while hysterical, kind of shows his heart was in the right place :)

      Mar 17, 2011 at 1:15 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #12.2   Canthz_B bang

      Did she mention that the string was tied in a noose?

      Personally, I’d use flypaper. The cats would eventually escape, but watching them do so would be priceless.
      Well, maybe not priceless…what is that funniest videos TV show paying winners these days?! ;-)

      Mar 17, 2011 at 1:23 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

  • #13   shwo! bang

    Better feral cats than fecal rats.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 12:06 am   rating: 18  small thumbs up

  • #14   Summer

    I’m from Redding, CA. This does not surprise me.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 1:01 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   dangerkitty2001

      Me too :/

      Mar 19, 2011 at 2:30 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #15   Canthz_B bang

    Actually this makes a good deal of sense.

    If you want to bait mice, use cheese or peanut butter.
    If you want to attract flies, use a shit-wagon.
    If you want to attract cats, use a cardboard box…AKA Feline Promised Land.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 1:45 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   The Elf

      If you want to attract cats, use tuna.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 6:36 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   Canthz_B bang

      If you want to attract cats…well, never mind. Suffice it to say I learned the hard way to not walk around my house in the nude after a shower when I had cats.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 9:26 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   The Elf

      hehehe! That happened to my husband! I couldn’t stop laughing, even though he needed a band-aid.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 11:15 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #16   Alex

    Haha, forget keeping them, how are you supposed to catch ‘em? It’s not like feral cats are known for their friendliness, even with tuna they don’t exactly come running out.
    I do love the idea; it’s very sweet.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 2:09 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #17   Elwing

    I thought the box was not to be left in the rain because it would get wet and soft and the cats would be able to get out. Regardless of the fact that they have, y’know, claws and teeth, and that cardbox can be breached.

    Our landlord pulled the same stunt once (though he didn’t write anything on the box). We had seen a rat in the house. His bright idea was not to call extermination services, but to ask us to catch it in a box and set it free in the park. My housemate was about to try – I decided to tell him that it was not going to work before he got rat-fury unleashed upon him.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 3:52 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #18   Oink

    Hahaha! That landlord clearly doesn’t realise what work a tame domestic cat would make of that box. A feral cat- even if you could get it in there- would tear it apart very quickly!

    Mar 17, 2011 at 4:08 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #19   DS

    I think we should take this as a valuable talking point for which to discuss the keeping of cats indoors versus outdoors.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 4:23 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.1   Clumber

      Does in a box; but outside count as keeping it indoors or out? We need the rules before we start the game!

      Mar 17, 2011 at 8:27 am   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #19.2   Janellionaire

      Keeping cats inside is cruel.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 2:46 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #19.3   Janellionaire

      Letting cats outside is irresponsible.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 2:47 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.4   Meesh

      Obligatory anecdote about happy indoor cat.

      Mar 18, 2011 at 2:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #19.5   Meesh

      Obligatory anecdote about happy outdoor cat.

      Mar 18, 2011 at 2:11 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #20   aaa bang

    Just wondering, why hasn’t the landlord called Haven Humane? Or would that be too easy? I mean, that would take the fun out of making his interactive cat trap and pretend like he’s doing something useful.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 8:47 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #21   *snerk*

    Maybe instead of the humane society, the cats should be taken to that person’s yard in Harper’s Ferry.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 9:15 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   Ed Decatur

      Too bad the person who knows where the yard is can only be reached via P. O. box.

      Mar 17, 2011 at 7:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #22   andipandi

    We would not like it in the box.
    We would not like to get the pox.
    We would scratch and bite and claw,
    The craziest thing you ever saw.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 10:35 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

  • #23   laura

    ha… love maru. what a rubbish landlord!

    Mar 17, 2011 at 11:54 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #24   Karate School Santa Monica

    Leaving the cats out in the rain is only going to make them more feral. You have to at least commend him for attempting to solve the situation; though it makes you wonder why no one has called animal control?

    Mar 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #25   Managed Hosting

    One would wonder if the humane society saw that, if they would report the ASPCA. Poor kitties, poor people; it’s a lose-lose situation.

    Mar 17, 2011 at 2:45 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

  • #26   Jenna

    Despite the fact that the landlord is ridiculous, I find it amusing that he used two different fonts on the FERAL CAT sign. Did anybody else notice that? I’m trying to picture how the creation of that sign went down…

    Mar 18, 2011 at 12:11 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #27   trillium

    Did anyone consider catching the kitties when they were small, instead of waiting until they are much more difficult to handle? I know they aren’t exactly easy (I’ve done it) but it’s easy-ER.

    Mar 18, 2011 at 11:04 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #28   FunFunRahRah

    The overall wonkiness of the box suggests that previous feral cats did not take kindly to their incarceration.

    Mar 19, 2011 at 4:04 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

  • #29   L.B.

    Thanks, this made my day, I laughed so hard.
    People are funny. at least the landlord thought enough to put some cat toys in there so it wouldn’t get bored while shredding its way out of the box…

    Mar 24, 2011 at 2:19 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up


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