Maya in the U.K. spotted this magnanimous display on a garden wall on her way home, in a neighborhood “that must be simply full of hundreds of passive-aggressive middle class Brits.” Says Maya: ”I was tempted to steal the daffodils myself, but refrained.”
Meanwhile, Greg’s neighbor in Washington, D.C. decided to go with even an more straight-ahead guilt-trippy approach.
Lastly, Fern spotted this scarily upbeat FYI while vacationing in Key West, Florida. (Adds Fern: “We think the flower just died.”)
related: Three cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves
P.S. Before settling for a ho-hum Susan Orleans reference, I must admit that when writing this post, I tried — and failed — to come up with an worthy Wordworths-riffing title. In light of my lack of inspiration, I was especially delighted by this bit of brilliance from shwo! in the comments section:
I wandered slyly as a thief
Who flows on low o’er gutter spills,
When all at once I saw a leaf,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the porch, beneath the trees,
I think I will be stealing these.
58 responses so far ↓
#1
Karate Schools Santa Monica
Why is it that gardeners, even when irritated, always sound the most happy? I know it’s being passive aggressive, but you have to hand the smiley faces to them. And the gifts!
Mar 29, 2011 at 2:46 pm rating: 16
#2
Jason Heckathorn
I’m pretty sure the Karma police aren’t going to smite you for stealing a flower.
Mar 29, 2011 at 2:49 pm rating: 2
#3
Jimmy James
Attention all units- be on the lookout for a suspect wanted for the crime of grand theft flora. Suspect was spotted in the vicinity of Grosvenor Square, with rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes. She is wanted for questioning, however our criminal profilers can tell without asking that she is into the blues.
Mar 29, 2011 at 2:53 pm rating: 19
#4
Deputy Garcia
Hey Orchid Thief! I like that movie they made out of your book! Can you get me Charlie Kaufman’s autograph?
Mar 29, 2011 at 3:00 pm rating: 2
#5
Miss Monroe
The first one is my favorite.
Mar 29, 2011 at 3:41 pm rating: 2
#6
Daud Khan
nice buddy
Mar 29, 2011 at 4:46 pm rating: 0
#7
Nahhh
This thievery must be nipped in the bud!
Mar 29, 2011 at 5:09 pm rating: 19
#8
shwo!
I wandered slyly as a thief
Who flows on low o’er gutter spills,
When all at once I saw a leaf,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the porch, beneath the trees,
I think I will be stealing these.
Mar 29, 2011 at 5:13 pm rating: 77
#9
MD
Urban garden under attack? You just need to expand your theme. Just a bit.
Add some stinging nettles, burrs, anything with thorns–both fine (easy to miss visually, but embed in the flesh hideously) and rivaling a whittled set of spears. Grace that off with anything openly declaring ‘poison’ in its popular name: poison ivy, poison oak, etc.
Bonus points for erecting a tasteful plaque that reads:
‘I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden.’
Spreading this earworm is called adding insult to injury.
And congrats! The theme of your garden–no matter what else you plant–is now PAN.
Mar 29, 2011 at 6:08 pm rating: 13
#10
Mrs.Beasley
I think anybody lowdown enough to steal flora from a neighbor’s private property deserves to get an allergic rash. May St. Fiacre smite them with a black thumb to match their soul! Team Gardeners!
Mar 29, 2011 at 6:43 pm rating: 13
#11
Brah
I’m for all these people. Someone came onto their property and took their flowers. That happened to me once. Somebody walked around my house to by backyard and uprooted a plant (I’ve had more than just plants stolen, too). It’s just creepy and obnoxious and I do hope karma nips these thiefs in the ass.
Mar 29, 2011 at 9:48 pm rating: 8
#12
Canthz_B
Stealing flowers from a private garden is reprehensible.
Besides, you can get whole florist designed creations from the cemetery…Mothers’ Day is a good day to find really nice arrangements, and the owners never complain.
Mar 29, 2011 at 11:57 pm rating: 21
#13
KJS
Funny thing about karma – do bad things, bad things will happen to you. Lady, you just had some flowers stolen – what did YOU do?
Also, who steals an entire plant? That is rather impressive.
Mar 30, 2011 at 12:06 am rating: 2
#14
TickleMyBambo
Why waste your precious beer and condom money on buying beautiful flowers for your date with a hot chick when you can easily steal some from someones garden from across the street for free!
Mar 30, 2011 at 12:29 am rating: 7
#15
anglophile
The problem with these notes is that they aren’t going to work.
Unless the deer and rabbits around their houses are considerably more educated than mine.
Mar 30, 2011 at 9:05 am rating: 10
#16
Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little
“We think the orchid just died.”
no no no no no no.
I know from orchids. At least, I know from some orchids. In my experience, their flowers last weeks and then very slowly dry on the stalk. I still have dried blossoms from a stalk that bloomed *years* ago. Almost every one of them I had to pick off the stalk eventually; they cling for a very long time.
If the orchid flower simply *disappeared*, the grower is reasonably in assuming it was deliberately plucked.
Mar 30, 2011 at 11:17 am rating: 2
#17
Divvitar
Hey, and think about the poor flowers here! Being uprooted, placed in new soil…or worse…a vase! Their emotional scars will never heal!
Mar 30, 2011 at 12:43 pm rating: 0
#18
GhostWriter
Fuck dem daffodills- I want that funky black can.
Mar 30, 2011 at 12:54 pm rating: 1
#19
Therapist San Francisco
Well, they say plants help you breath. So maybe the increased amount of oxygen is helping them remain happily passive about their indiscretions.
Mar 30, 2011 at 1:45 pm rating: 0
#20
office space
I am in love with the writer of the first picture. and I hope she is a female
Apr 1, 2011 at 6:16 am rating: 1
#21
Zoe
She is indeed, I live about 6 doors away. She’s passionate about her garden and the guys at the end of the road are scum (for more than the daffs)
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:20 am rating: 0
#22
me
It’s probably just young kids, i used to when I was a tiny spawn.
Apr 11, 2011 at 5:04 pm rating: 0
Comments are Closed