When I read this landlord’s note…
…this is roughly the image that came to mind:
related: And you thought college students were foul…
FILED UNDER: a little patronizing · exclamation-point happy!!!! · message to all intended for one · opening/closing · sad face · smiley
Management should stand by the door with a rolled-up newspaper. And a bag of gummy worms for those who remember to close the door firmly.
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:32 pm rating: 26
Now I want gummy worms.
Apr 2, 2011 at 4:48 pm rating: 1
“Ahem… I am well aware that I keep leaving the door open. I am such a bad, bad, BAD person! Will I stop right now? I haven’t done it then, why should I do it now?” — That very very bad “Someone” : )
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:33 pm rating: 5
“Someone” should take care of that pesky cough…Ahem….AHEM
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:33 pm rating: 9
I’m sure that “someone” has some riccola in their pocket that could fix that cough.. but that’s if Management would step away from the OPEN door long enough to not get a cold!
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:39 pm rating: 6
Window treatments courtesy of the Bates Motel…
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:37 pm rating: 9
the pic looks just like our Husky, Demon…poor guy looks like he is about to get backhanded, lol
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:40 pm rating: 1
Where is Caesar when you need him to “Tssst” that “someone” in the behind to fix such common annoyances? I can see it now, “You got to have a positive, relaxed energy.. be dominant, he can feel your hesitance.. Be the leader, be one with the pack!”
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:45 pm rating: 9
*look away, CB…before you’re lured into a calm, submissive state*
Mar 31, 2011 at 10:36 pm rating: 5
Apparently CB doesn’t want to be one with the pack, that’s very very bad CB! lol
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:10 am rating: 2
I love this pack, Tickle, but calm submissive states are for followers, not pack leaders, and I choose to delude myself!
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:30 am rating: 3
I know you love this mixed pack of mutts! I agree, nobody wants to be calm submitted pansy’s when they can be ALPHAS!!
Apr 1, 2011 at 1:09 am rating: 2
Everyone here thinks they’re Alpha PA. That’s why ya gotta jump in with both feet and remember the brilliant teachings of Alfred E. Neuman and ask yourself “What, Me Worry?” before posting here…because there’s always some ass who takes a disliking and wants to screw with you (me at least, as if that will make them their bones or something.)
I guess I’m that important to some people. How’s that for Alpha status? They prove it (my status, and that of a few other long-time PANistas) by the very act of trying to disprove it.
I always get a kick out of that irony.
My advice is: for Goodness sake grow a thick skin, because the game is afoot, and it just may be you or me on any given day!
Apr 1, 2011 at 2:46 am rating: 1
CB, your words of wisdom have touched me in places where none have touched before… I will take what you have taught me and put it to good use!
Apr 1, 2011 at 3:43 am rating: 3
Oh, God! Was I drinking again?!
Please, don’t tell my parole officer I’ve been touching “places”!
Apr 1, 2011 at 7:55 am rating: 3
I LOVE THAT PICTURE!
The dog’s eyes … Grannie’s scowl …
Team Bad Dog! He’s an Alpha, for sure, you can just tell he’ll do whatever he wants as soon as the old lady isn’t looking …
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:47 pm rating: 4
P.S. Live and learn, meant to post down here, not after the first post. Sorry! This is so embarrassing.
P.S.S. BTW. The delete button seems rather, ummm, counter-intuitive. Am I the first person to accidentally post in the wrong place? Why can’t “delete” just, ummm, delete?
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:55 pm rating: 0
Why, look, it deleted! (Since I don’t see the post you’re talking about, I can assume it used to be there, but now it’s gone. I’m willing to take your word for it, regarding its previous existence.)
The reason “delete” is a request, is to keep you from removing any awesome 3am drunken rants that you might happen to post to the site, then regret the next morning. Because where’s the entertainment value in regret??
Mar 31, 2011 at 11:25 pm rating: 8
Of course …
Now that I’m a bit more sober, I’m starting to understand
Mar 31, 2011 at 11:32 pm rating: 5
I love the delete request.
I’ve pulled back some really evil, mean-spirited, fucked up shit.
What I leave posted is tame by comparison.
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:38 am rating: 3
Um… Kerry? How much would it cost us to have you disable CB’s delete button?
C’mon CB, “pulling back” is fun for no one.
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:24 pm rating: 4
Wow! double exclamation points, and they make a face, either frowny or smiley. Go Team punctuemoticon!
Mar 31, 2011 at 8:53 pm rating: 15
Punctuemoticon? Isn’t that the town where they keep the groundhog?
Mar 31, 2011 at 11:22 pm rating: 3
Naw, that’s Funkytown.
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:26 am rating: 3
Great CB- now I’ll be singing “Won’t you take me to…. FUNKYtown! uh-huh…. ne-ne-nene-NE” all day. The first graders will think I’m crazy.
Apr 1, 2011 at 11:20 am rating: 1
THE PUNCTUEMOTICON IS THE BEST=:)
The most ink conserving way to add crazy double exclamation points and p/a smileys=:) =:(
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:56 pm rating: 1
I found the door completely open
That very bad someone keeps leaving it open
Can’t that “Someone” see this is a very very bad thing to do?
I want them to stop this.. RIGHT..NOW!!
Why won’t that “Someone” listen to me?
Where’s a motherf**king cough drop when I need one?
Mar 31, 2011 at 9:17 pm rating: 1
“Someone” should use my last rent payment to invest in a hydraulic door closer.
That would be very, very good!!
Do that!! Right now!!
Mar 31, 2011 at 10:31 pm rating: 2
Yes I’ve been bad;very very bad.I deserve to be punished.
You’ll find me here at 9:00 am each morning;my bare white buttocks a twitch.(hair brush preferred)
Apr 1, 2011 at 5:57 am rating: 5
I’ve seen this! I encouraged someone to take a picture of it! It’s in Portland, Maine at my friend’s apartment building. I hope it was she who submitted it. The first words out of my mouth when I saw this beacon of passive aggression were, “Someone needs to submit this to passiveaggressivenotes.com, like, now.” So, I’m glad someone did.
Apr 1, 2011 at 7:01 am rating: 3
Yippee!! Good for you! Now, where did I put those gold star stickers?
Apr 1, 2011 at 8:07 am rating: 2
On Nunavut’s twitching white buttocks.
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:46 pm rating: 5
Ahh!!! I can’t believe it, this is in my building. I look at this every time I leave for work and chortle to myself. Why had I not considered submitting it before?!
Apr 1, 2011 at 7:11 am rating: 3
Myself,I would probably guffaw.
Apr 1, 2011 at 9:07 am rating: 3
Gold star for Hugo.
Apr 1, 2011 at 9:43 am rating: 3
Hahaha! I can’t imagine who posted this, Courtney. It wasn’t us!
Apr 1, 2011 at 7:27 am rating: 1
This is definitely from MY building and I live in Jonesboro. My neighbor Kimbo must have sent it in.
Apr 1, 2011 at 7:41 am rating: 0
Gold star for Goidee.
How big is this place, I may need to go to the five-and-dime and pick up more stickers…and schedule a gigglebraxing seminar!
Apr 1, 2011 at 9:45 am rating: 2
Watch out, Husky! That’s not Gramma; it’s Jack Kevorkian in disguise.
Apr 1, 2011 at 7:48 am rating: 1
But when you do close, just don’t slam the fucking door!!!
Apr 1, 2011 at 9:34 am rating: 5
So what is the back story here? Why does the door need to stay shut?
Apr 1, 2011 at 9:45 am rating: 0
Texters and feral cats get in otherwise.
Apr 1, 2011 at 9:54 am rating: 5
Exactly! God forbid you let in texters.
Apr 1, 2011 at 12:48 pm rating: 3
No, no. This is from *my* building in Kathmandu, Nepal. But I didn’t submit it, either.
Apr 1, 2011 at 10:21 am rating: 0
The Lama did it.
Apr 1, 2011 at 10:34 am rating: 3
He had to. His Dalai (Chucky) might escape and hurt someone.
Apr 2, 2011 at 12:28 am rating: 0
Muay Thai Los Angeles
I kind of feel like they’re talking to a two year-old, too. Either way, I would blame the cat. They always seem to be up to no good.
Apr 1, 2011 at 1:38 pm rating: 4
That’s what we do in my house. Door open? Blame the cat! Plate broken? Blame the cat! Solicitor found savagely beaten and murdered? Blame the cat!
See, works for everything.
Apr 1, 2011 at 2:44 pm rating: 5
I love the way she’s dressed up the exclamation marks with smiley faces. I don’t know if after reading a note like that if I would want to live in an apartment like that. I feel like I would be living with grandma!
Apr 1, 2011 at 4:45 pm rating: 0
I really don’t understand what is bad about this note, because leaving the door open means people can come in and steal valuable things.
Or is it different in the United States?
I don’t understand the bashing in this particular case :((
Apr 5, 2011 at 5:48 am rating: 1
— Ed Decatur
2011: The Top Notes of the Year
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Carnivores: keep being awesome!
actually totally reasonable
a little patronizing
clip art catastrophe
flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens
landlords and property managers
Moms & Dads
more aggressive than passive
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now that's management
sex sex sex
signed with love
spelling and grammar police
thanks (but not really)
unnecessary "quotation marks"
You call that punctuation?