For a second-grade assignment, Gayle‘s daughter Martha, age 7, was assigned to write an acrostic poem about a family member, using descriptive words beginning with each letter of their title (Mother, Grandpa, etc.) Martha chose to compose this loving ode to her SISTER.
related: The rift that keeps on giving
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53 responses so far ↓
#1
katie
I love how it starts out nice and then the evilness shows through. No wonder she gets easily mad when you call her a turd..
Apr 4, 2011 at 10:51 pm rating: 27
#2
UnclGhost
I love how it started off benevolently enough, until the second S reminded her of how much her sister likes to scream, and it all went downhill from there.
Apr 4, 2011 at 10:55 pm rating: 21
#3
zenvelo
That’s what happens when Sister screams while you’re doing homework….
Apr 4, 2011 at 10:58 pm rating: 24
#4
aaa
Martha, your verse leaves
Much to be desired. Sigh.
Mad screaming turd rat
Apr 4, 2011 at 11:00 pm rating: 15
#5
www.stuffistolefromtheinternet.com
Looks like Martha and I have the same sister.
Apr 4, 2011 at 11:07 pm rating: 35
#6
TickleMyBambo
Little, adorable, Martha has inspired me! Now I will write an Ode about…
E- Erectile Dysfunction
X- Xanthodont colored teeth
B- Boozing bully bastard
O- Obnoxiously opinionated about being superior
Y- Yodels in the shower every fucking morning
F- Frequents porn sites that features girl that don’t look 18
R- Rages when pwned by 12 yr olds online
I- Is the first letter of his name
E- Extremely unstable
N- Narcissistic without anything to add for it
D- Dead beat father
Apr 4, 2011 at 11:14 pm rating: 116
#7
The_Great_G
S is for suck
U is for you
C is for rooster
K is for Kellogg’s cereal.
Do I have any idea what this means?
Of corse not!
Apr 5, 2011 at 12:51 am rating: 10
#8
chesire cat
I loved it! A+ for honesty and for using such a gritty and unpopular choice on whom to write your poem about.
Apr 5, 2011 at 6:50 am rating: 3
#9
Shammett13
How appropriate that April is National Poetry Month!
Apr 5, 2011 at 8:22 am rating: 8
#10
Miss Monroe
I totally want to meet Martha.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:47 am rating: 2
#11
Matt
N–is for Night, which is time to sleep, not time to stand outside yelling without your hearing aid on.
E–is for Ended, as in the hippy days are gone, so when you flash me the peace sign whenever I drive buy, don’t get pissed off when I flash my one-fingered peace sign back.
I–is for Idiot, which you no doubt are and are proud of it.
G–is for Go Away, as in please move south like you keep threatening to do.
H–is for House, which is what that shithole once was.
B–is for Buy a fucking lawn mower, please.
O–is for Oregano, what you call those plants growing in your back yard.
R–is for Roof, which you might want to Replace before it actually caves in.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:08 am rating: 21
#12
Quite Contrary
Frankly, I think some of Martha’s bitterness comes from her own name. Who names a seven year old Martha these days?
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:14 am rating: 11
#13
Ashley
I’m impressed by the handwriting and spelling. That’s great for a 7 year old.
I love T is for a turd.
Apr 5, 2011 at 1:46 pm rating: 9
#14
Patone Swatches
Tell us how you really feel, Martha. I’m going to assume this was to a younger sister, and Martha was upset that she was no longer an only child?
Apr 5, 2011 at 2:06 pm rating: 0
#15
Acrostinator
Really?
Is this
Child high as a
Kite?
Any
Second grader can
Tell how
Lame this poem is.
Especially
Yellow pee-pee pants ones.
Apr 5, 2011 at 3:32 pm rating: 4
#16
LAX Car Service
That is quite the poem. I’m not sure I would have had the courage to write this. She must be extremely angry with her sister. What kind of grade do you think the teacher gave her?
Apr 5, 2011 at 4:21 pm rating: 0
#17
GhostWriter
Z is for zee outfits you’d squeeze into.
O is for the way you’d purr, “O RLY?”
I is for the iodine you painted my body with
L is for electric stimulation
A is for all things anal
I miss you Zoila please teach me to behave again.
Apr 5, 2011 at 4:32 pm rating: 4
#18
Karate Los Angeles
Was the first one supposed to be “Soccer” instead of “Soccr”? If I were her sister, years from now, I wouldn’t let her live this down.
Apr 5, 2011 at 6:13 pm rating: 2
#19
micromachine
I expected more inner rage from a girl called Martha II. Perhaps fist-stamped stationary with tooth-scalloped corners? Blood-inked calligraphy?
Apr 5, 2011 at 8:32 pm rating: 3
#20
kermit
Well at least she didn’t put the sentiment on a tombstone, like what happened to this guy: http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/headstone.asp
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:31 pm rating: 1
#21
meri
There you go, Martha, burning your sister’s feelings.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:44 pm rating: 4
#22
lupanime
Soccer.
Incredible screaming.
A turd easily gets mad.
A rat
Apr 6, 2011 at 2:54 am rating: 0
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