Need to borrow a cup of sugar? How about five pounds of dog poop? Well heck, that’s what neighbors are for!
related: Do you want a doggy bag for those leftovers, sir?
extra credit: The perfect leash for dog haters/sociopaths
FILED UNDER: "helpful" advice · dogs · heart · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · shit
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108 responses so far ↓
#1
lyonessnyc
The note-writer used the correct form of “you’re.” I could weep with joy.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:25 pm rating: 90
#2
Lisa
Good for her! I’m assuming it is a “she” by the heart-accented exclamation points. Pretty hard to look passive-aggressive when you decorate with hearts!
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:27 pm rating: 90
#3
KST
I love it.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:27 pm rating: 90
#4
Divvitar
So (fucking??) deliciously PA! You’ve gotta love the exclamation hearts!
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:27 pm rating: 90
#5
c.a.
I think this is 100% appropriate.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:33 pm rating: 90
#6
Claire
I love it. Snarkyness that makes the recipient feel like the asshole and the note-poster seem lovable. This is a perfect example of what passive aggressive notes should be!
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:35 pm rating: 90
#7
Kim
The letter is immaturely written, but I can’t help but agree with the letter writer. I just purchased a house and the neighbor two houses down lets their two yappy dogs run loose and they of course deposit their droppings in everyone elses front lawns.
Never before have I had the urge to coat my front lawn with antifreeze…. but alas, I’m very close to repeating what this letter writer did.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:39 pm rating: 90
#8
JetJackson
Sounds like this person lives next door to Sarah Palin.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:40 pm rating: 90
#9
J
The only thing that would have made this note more awesome would have been if the writer had the guts to leave their name. Oh well, I still completely <3 this note!
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:43 pm rating: 90
#10
Kay
This is a thing of beauty right from the “Hey, Sillies!” down to the “You’re welcome!” The tone, the actions, bringing baggies and dumping some poop, all is just the super duper loveliness that P/A can be.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:45 pm rating: 90
#11
Fred Furz
Love the heart/exclamation mark combo, also the diminutive plural – sillies, baggies etc. Red marker pen gives it a real nice homely feel too.
Nice work. Go Team Poopies!
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:52 pm rating: 90
#12
Rawr
Is there anything not to like about this note unless the front door in question happens to be your own?
I’m especially fond of the beginning of the second paragraph. As in, “Oh! I almost forgot to add that I left a pile of feces on your doormat.”
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:58 pm rating: 90
#13
Ista
Well, I hope she at least lit it on fire and rang the doorbell first.
Apr 5, 2011 at 10:59 pm rating: 90
#14
Rillion
That’s one sterling example of when a passive-aggressive note (and accompanying bag of poop, I assume) is entirely fitting.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:00 pm rating: 90
#15
Kay
I’ve already commented and I am still cosy warmed here as though I have my own flaming P/A note and bag of poop right here.
Jumping back into the convo to suggest to PANotes that we have an annual contest for the best of the year’s submissions. This one is my clear favourite so far.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:07 pm rating: 90
#16
Bruno
As ah dohg who licks to poohp, I aim affended. How passive aggggggggresive (woof!). So, to you Sillies, I heart you, and as for “you’re welcome” chicky missy…..I heartt you 2.
xoxoxo ruff ruff barrk barrk poop poop (on your lawn lawn
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:16 pm rating: 90
#17
www.stuffistolefromtheinternet.com
Gathering up all of the dog poop for the extra oomph that the message needed. Brilliant.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:17 pm rating: 90
#18
aaa
That is beautiful
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:36 pm rating: 90
#19
SP
Absolutely love it. This is the perfect mix of PA and absolute justification for PA. I agree with it being best of the year so far.
I’m so sick of my neighbors’ dogs, I could just scream…oh, wait, I do. They are barkers, but I’m about ready to leave lots of lovely notes on doors (sans bags of poop). Oh, and for the cat terrorizing my lame cat in his own backyard…those people might just have a spray-painted cat soon.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:45 pm rating: 90
#20
Liz
This might just be the best PA Note I’ve ever seen, from the heart-adorned punctuation to the giant bag of dog shit on the front porch.
Apr 5, 2011 at 11:50 pm rating: 90
#21
TickleMyBambo
Had the note writer put all the poop in a garbage bin and set it on fire, they can have a neighborhood bonfire! What better way to establish a solid neighbor relationship then to roast hot dogs over a shit stinking fire : )
Apr 6, 2011 at 12:06 am rating: 90
#22
schambers
This note is a work of art and a thing of beauty! It’s perfect!
Apr 6, 2011 at 12:06 am rating: 90
#23
careerwaitress
good girl!
Apr 6, 2011 at 12:33 am rating: 90
#24
Alicia
Notewriter, I adore you.
Apr 6, 2011 at 12:47 am rating: 90
#25
Canthz_B
Aw, that Cathy is so crazy!
At least I think that’s her handwriting…anyone got the funny-papers handy?
Apr 6, 2011 at 12:54 am rating: 90
#26
jadefirefly
This is utterly epic. By far my favorite PA note in a long, long time.
Apr 6, 2011 at 1:50 am rating: 90
#27
Annette
Nice one!
But who sent in the note? The note writer or the dog-owner? And was there no comment whatsoever accompaneing the note? Too bad.
Apr 6, 2011 at 2:46 am rating: 90
#28
Ali
I started grinding my teeth and ended up with a smile on my face. She spelled everything correctly AND gave them a wonderful gift. Simply amazing.
Apr 6, 2011 at 2:51 am rating: 90
#29
Grant
Pure.
Someone once let their dog crap on my front path, so I gloved up, scooped and followed them home, whereupon I posted it through their letter box. It’s the only language these curs understand!
Apr 6, 2011 at 4:48 am rating: 90
#30
Zinnia
The note writer wins major PA points because:
1. Red pen – Proper color for conveying her ‘shame on you’ authority.
2. Proper spelling – Exemplifies the writer clearly has the credentials to use the red pen.
3. Heart exclamation points – Hands down, best part of the note.
4. The follow through – The writer puts words into action to further underscore true, hardcore PA.
Apr 6, 2011 at 5:30 am rating: 90
#31
DLo
I’m completely on the Team Poo side, but I have to wonder: Is this dog a chihuahua or a St. Bernard? Just how MUCH poo are we talking about here? And who posted the note here? Team Poo Alpha Lead, or the Sillies?
Apr 6, 2011 at 5:51 am rating: 90
#32
Winston Smith
I thought the plural of poop was poops
Apr 6, 2011 at 6:38 am rating: 90
#33
Lindsey
Team Poops-in-the-yard (Hmmm… I’ll have to work on the name). Few things are as rude as letting your dog poop in someone else’s yard and not cleaning it up. One time is forgivable, but repeatedly? Let’s just say the “Sillies” got off easy, as I would not have been so nice a neighbor. Let’s just say I would have returned their poop, only placed it on the car instead… sans plastic bag.
Apr 6, 2011 at 7:30 am rating: 90
#34
carmenz
Yes, this is stellar and while the spelling and grammar are perfect, the punctuation could use a little tweaking.
It wouldn’t hurt to put a comma after “poopies,” and the “Oh!” should really have a comma after it, rather than an exclamation mark, as it is part of the next sentence.
Apr 6, 2011 at 7:38 am rating: 90
#35
Clumber
Wow – fantastic PAN. Just maybe needs a smidge of a dash of “Hi-diddly-ho neighbor!”
No, no… I refute that. It is perfect as is.
Apr 6, 2011 at 7:42 am rating: 90
#36
Kelly
I don’t comment here often, but a note this spectacular deserves it – Team Pooper Stooper all the way!
Apr 6, 2011 at 8:42 am rating: 90
#37
chesire cat
Team notewriter all the way. I actually love the silly way they wrote this note too with the hearts and language because it totally adds to it.
Keep your dogs contained and pick up their poop. I have had problems with this in the past and it annoys the hell out of me. I don’t let me kids shit on your lawn so why do you let your dogs shit on mine!?
My husband did a PA note once about this issue. It was mostly just aggressive. He got a picture of George W flipping the bird and then beneath it wrote “Thanks for obeying the leash laws and not letting your giant dog take monster shits in our yard.” He did this after he went to talk to the lady about it and she saw him but refused to come to the door. So he taped that on her glass door.
I called Animal Control the next day on her too. Needless to say she did not let the dogs out again. So victory for us!
Apr 6, 2011 at 9:16 am rating: 90
#38
Darsa
Awesome. Perfect. Beautiful!
And the ! after the Oh makes perfect sense to me; in the way it’s used, truthfully, any punctuation could be appropriate there.
Apr 6, 2011 at 10:03 am rating: 90
#39
aaa
This is such a beautifully perfect example of a PA note. The only way this could possibly be improved is if she addressed them as “silly sausages”.
<3
Apr 6, 2011 at 10:17 am rating: 90
#40
MarMar
I had a person do that to me after my young son neglected to pick up the dog. I can understand if it is a pattern but if it is for a single time that is an overreaction.
Apr 6, 2011 at 11:27 am rating: 90
#41
Heart Pet Tags
You just couldn’t stay mad at someone who starts a PAN with “Hey Sillies, exclaimation heart”. Oh, unless they leave a steaming pile of poopies on your porch…in which case I guess you could stay mad. Still, it’s a great note.
Apr 6, 2011 at 1:03 pm rating: 90
#42
KBZK
This note had me at “Hey sillies.”
Apr 6, 2011 at 1:20 pm rating: 90
#43
Christine
Team Note-writer all the way.
I am the very responsible owner of two doggies. I have never ONCE let my dogs crap on private or public property and not picked up after them. Not a single time. I recently moved to an apartment and I’m getting very annoyed at all the dog owners nearby who do NOT pick up after their dogs and let them run loose. I see dog crap all over the place, which is why when I walk my dogs and they poop on someone’s lawn (I try to get them to poop on the road, but come on, it’s not like they listen to me..) I usually see someone watching me like a hawk from the window. What REALLY annoys me though is that there’s poop ON MY FRONT LAWN. If I knew who let their dog do that I would also write a nice PA note, but it’s impossible to tell. Seriously, how hard is it to pick up? I pick up between 2-5 piles every single day. And sometimes they reek. Does it bother me? Of course not. It’s just part of being a dog owner. Accept it or don’t get a dog. Yeesh.
Apr 6, 2011 at 1:29 pm rating: 90
#44
Jiu Jitsu Los Angeles
This brings “Ding-Dong-Ditch” to entirely new level. At least she was kind enough to NOT light it on fire.
Apr 6, 2011 at 1:48 pm rating: 90
#45
Not my poop!
I had a neighbor totally do this to me once. Only problem: none of the poop he dumped on my patio came from my dogs.
It happened at an apartment complex that allowed pets — pets which some people didn’t always clean up after.
My irrational, angry old man of a neighbor was convinced that the landmine problem was all my doing, despite the fact that the, uh, presents he kept finding were obviously far too large to ever be squeezed out of the rear end of a chihuahua puppy or a 7 pound Italian greyhound.
After leaving rude notes and piles of poop on my patio, one day my neighbor actually came outside and yelled at me. It was one of the weirdest, most ridiculous arguments I’ve ever had.
I’ll never forget how surreal and goofy it felt to be holding my chihuahua puppy aloft so his poor little rear end could be on display as I gesticulated back and forth between it and the giant mounds of poop on my patio, and shouted over and over, “*That* can’t come out of *this*! *That* can’t come out of *this*! Look at the SIZE of the poop! LOOK AT THE POOP!”
Apr 6, 2011 at 2:06 pm rating: 90
#46
Miss Monroe
I am proposing marriage to the note writer. Perfection!
Apr 6, 2011 at 3:47 pm rating: 90
#47
GhostWriter
She loses a few points because she didn’t place the poopies in a paper bag and light it on fire.
Apr 6, 2011 at 5:03 pm rating: 90
#48
Andrea
This is the work of a true PA master.
Apr 6, 2011 at 5:54 pm rating: 90
#49
LAX Car Service
Well, at least they were polite and punctual about it. Not many people can use the right “you’re.”
Apr 6, 2011 at 6:17 pm rating: 90
#50
Secure Hosting
This is wrong on so many levels, but so is leaving your dog’s fecal matter on the lawn. After all, don’t they know how harmful it can be to everyone?
Apr 6, 2011 at 6:47 pm rating: 90
#51
Robert
I’m on team note writer until she says she dumped the dog shit all over someone else’s yard. That takes not curbing your dog, a ticket at worst, to full out vandalism and criminal mischief, something you can get jail time for.
Apr 6, 2011 at 7:47 pm rating: 90
#52
easily distracted
This is the most beautifully, perfectly passive aggressive note I’ve ever read outside my own family. If anyone could hear me, I’d begin a slow, steady applause that gradually grew louder and stronger. Just like in the movies.
What the hell. clap…clap…Clap…Clap…CLAP!CLAP!!CLAP!!CLAP!!!
Apr 7, 2011 at 4:58 pm rating: 90
#53
LadyC
Haha!!! OWNED!#teampooperstooper
Apr 7, 2011 at 7:29 pm rating: 90
#54
DS
screw leaving them on the doorstep…just get a ladder and drop them down their chimney
Apr 11, 2011 at 10:56 pm rating: 90
#55
fajas colombianas
Thats one kind neighbor for yoah.
Apr 13, 2011 at 10:46 am rating: 90
#56
Lori @ According to Gus
Love this…we’ve been SOOO tempted over the years to do something similar.
Apr 13, 2011 at 10:47 am rating: 90
#57
DJ
As one who lives in an apartment complex, I see this sort of thing too much.
What would have been better was if the writer of this note had put it all in a paper bag, set it on the neighbor’s doorstep, and lit it on fire! Then, as the neighbors came out and stomped the fire out, they’d see the note.
Apr 15, 2011 at 9:39 am rating: 90
#58
firefly
This is the most fantastic PAN I have ever read! It’s absolutely perfect in every way.
Apr 15, 2011 at 9:43 am rating: 90
#59
Pongo
Can’t support the Pooper Stooper here. Clearly he/she/it is a sociopath. No one else would use the term ‘Sillies’ even as snark. In fact, this person may be so supremely, obnoxiously sociopathic that just reading what they write spreads the disorder. Now I’m wondering if maybe I am a sociopath because one simple read and I really, really, really would like to strangle this supercilious jerk.
Not on team ‘let your dog crap anywhere it wants to,’ either, but this winner has crossed the line from mildly PA to full-blown personality disorder, so they lose my vote.
Apr 18, 2011 at 12:47 pm rating: 90
#60
Beth
This person is my new best friend, whomever she may be!
Apr 24, 2011 at 5:05 pm rating: 90
#61
Claire
I had a passive aggressive bitch of a neighbor who would shit like this.
except our dogs never got out (we didn’t have a fenced-in yard, so the only time they were outside was when they were on a leashed walk) so her mystery poop never came from our dogs, but she would still drop it at our door.
Fucking hated that woman.
Apr 28, 2011 at 10:46 am rating: 90
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