Many months ago, one of our submitter’s coworkers decided to fortify the entire office freezer with family-sized bricks of monosodium glutamate.
(Was there an amazing “buy 20, get one free” special at Wal-Mart? Is someone filming a processed-foods version of Super Size Me? Or just stocking up for the End Times?) Whatever the reason, this person made very clear (via post-it note) that these frozen delights were not for general consumption, thanks.
Finally, after months had gone by with no obvious signs of attrition on the Banquet line, another coworker decided to add a defiant note of protest (which in turn spurred a third note, from the office smartass.) Sadly, the real question (FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FROZEN — WHY????) remains unanswered.
related: Please remove the rabbit carcasses from this freezer
44 responses so far ↓
#1
farcical aquatic ceremony
The work of carrying this ‘food’ in and stacking it in the freezer was clearly the VERY LAST thing the person’s coronary arteries could take.
Apr 6, 2011 at 8:09 pm rating: 15
#2
interrobang
“Why not” is clearly an interjection here, but still it is really an interrogative.
A justification for my existence‽
Apr 6, 2011 at 8:11 pm rating: 10
#3
Karen
Our office has a policy that everything in the fridge and freezer gets tossed every Friday evening. Helps to prevent hoarders thankfully.
Apr 6, 2011 at 8:19 pm rating: 28
#4
Nahhh
There needs to be some office rule, similar to the Law of Salvage, allowing others to claim anything abandoned in the freezer after a certain period of time.
Apr 6, 2011 at 8:34 pm rating: 16
#5
AuntyBron
The questions from the Health Nazis aside, I would want to know if these were purchased for an office function ?(Although, with the sheer variety, I’m guessing not) If not the purchaser needs to store them in his/her own damned freezer.
Apr 6, 2011 at 8:56 pm rating: 3
#6
unsatisfied
in my office, there wouldn’t be a need for P/A notes. that is mainly because these would have been stolen and eaten already. very likely by me.
Apr 6, 2011 at 9:30 pm rating: 13
#7
shwo!
Um, the third one down contains “Creamy Sauce with Broccoli & Chicken over Rice.” Apparently Creamy Sauce is the main ingredient. I think i just threw up a little in my mouth. Or maybe that was Creamy Sauce.
Apr 6, 2011 at 10:00 pm rating: 45
#8
Rumpio
An awful lot of passive/aggressive judging in the comments and in the damning of the guy’s choice of food in the piece itself.
Irony, it be here.
Apr 6, 2011 at 10:26 pm rating: 14
#9
Blue
I cant really snark on this one. They shouldn’t take up so much of the office freezer but those things are really cheap. It makes me feel bad that people have to eat those because they can’t afford more nutritious food.
Apr 6, 2011 at 10:28 pm rating: 4
#10
zenvelo
those are family size dinners, not some frozen lunch. Maybe the person is now so large they can’t lift their arms anymore to get them out.
Apr 6, 2011 at 11:07 pm rating: 17
#11
Rawr
I’m very fond of the handwriting on the last note.
That is all.
Apr 6, 2011 at 11:50 pm rating: 0
#12
Adriana
The original note looks like it was written by a woman. She’s an impressive broad if she can down an entire Family Size Banquet (gag) TV dinner in one sitting.
Apr 7, 2011 at 1:07 am rating: 2
#13
The Elf
It’s for the office pot luck. See, the last one Sandra arranged (the Mongolia BBQ with Ribs and Special Hats) ended in an office-wide burst of “big jobs”. The ladies filled on entire trash can and clogged all the old pipes. Mens invaded the ladies’ room, which is very private to ladies where they do their private business, because they bathroom emergencies and were unable to get the key from Casey in Human Resources in time. This made the bathroom filthy, since women are known to be scientifically cleaner than men, and it was upsetting to the ladies.
The next potluck was to be “A Banquet of Banquet” . Sandra will provide bibs, handcuffs, sporks, and family-sized Banquet brand meals. But when she asked for signups (you know, for cookies, fruit cups, shrimp, rice, things with no sugar in them because some ppl are diabetic) no one signed up! And no one paid $5 to participate either! It’s like they like to keep their jobs small or something!
So there they sit, box after box of Banquet Family Sized boxes “creamy sauce”, waiting for the potluck that will never come. Sandra keeps hoping and keeps posting out random missives, but all in vain. What you can’t see in the picture is the freezer-burned leftover cake from the last potluck. Lonely, it waits.
Thx,
Sandra
Apr 7, 2011 at 6:47 am rating: 41
#14
Nope
At least the 3rd note is honest. 99.9% of all frozen “dinners” are horrible and I’d reason that the container they come in would probably taste better.
Apr 7, 2011 at 11:50 am rating: 3
#15
Mixed Martial Arts Los Angeles
I there is usually a good price on Banquet dinners, but sometimes there is a line in a little too much, especially for mediocre food. And if it’s at work, why wouldn’t you just bring a couple at a time? I thought this was a grocery isle!
Apr 7, 2011 at 2:33 pm rating: 0
#16
Liz
Maybe it’s art.
Apr 7, 2011 at 6:04 pm rating: 5
#17
LAX Car Service
Maybe they’re pregnant or hibernating? Either way, that’s a lot of the same exact food choice, especially for an office.
Apr 7, 2011 at 6:17 pm rating: 0
#18
Quite Contrary
I’m wondering if a heart at the bottom of the exclamation point would have made any of it better.
(Thinking.)
Nope.
Apr 7, 2011 at 6:20 pm rating: 1
#19
pony girl
Maybe the co-worker promised their significant other that they would not throw them away or give them away.
So, they just took them to work and left them there.
Which, I admit, is stupid and makes no sense.
So, that must be it.
Apr 7, 2011 at 7:06 pm rating: 7
#20
RP
Five bucks says that the person who put the food there doesn’t even work there anymore.
Apr 8, 2011 at 2:40 pm rating: 6
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