Hannah spotted this gem above the sink of dirty dishes in her San Francisco office.
related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!
Oh Grandpa, you tell the funniest bedtime stories!
April 12th, 2011 · 65 comments
FILED UNDER: dishes · guilt trip · kids today · most popular notes of 2011 · San Francisco · TL;DR
65 responses so far ↓
#1
Canthz_B
…so stock up on those safe nukes, but be sure to do the dishes!
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:45 pm rating: 15
#2
lissa
that my dear was how the gospel of the dishes came about…lol
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:47 pm rating: 11
#3
snail whisperer
Oooh! After following this blog awhile, this was looking like just another over-the-top office rant like so many others, and then, ZING, old dude complaining about those damn kids today.
Go Team Geezer!
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:48 pm rating: 27
#4
Canthz_B
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and US President Barack Obama issued a joint communique announcing that the kitchen staff of the Kremlin and the White House joined forces today and have voted to go on strike.
Stockpiles of dirty dishes are growing dangerously high.
The US immediately moved to DEFCON 2.
Apr 12, 2011 at 10:56 pm rating: 29
#5
lagne
Literate PAN writers really should learn the fine art of brevity. Nobody reads long PANs unless there are lots of F-words, mangled English, mangled grammar, or out-of-proportion hysterical emotion*. Where’s the fun in someone bitching me out using CORRECT grammar?
(*or dirty pictures)
Apr 12, 2011 at 11:01 pm rating: 12
#6
Risha
I’m pretty sure I’m going to look back and think “I’m glad I didn’t waste my time doing the dishes instead of enjoying my life.” Of course, I really hate doing dishes, so that might be skewing my perspective.
Apr 12, 2011 at 11:01 pm rating: 16
#7
Canthz_B
I’ve been hearing about “dirty bombs”.
I demand a preemptive strike!
Invade any country that uses plates, and wash every one of their dishes before they develop a dirty dish bomb!
Blast them back into the Paper Plate Age before it’s too late if they resist!!!
Apr 12, 2011 at 11:04 pm rating: 3
#8
TickleMyBambo
Poor note writer, all those years spent dwelling on how he/she did not get the love and recognition he/she thought he/she deserves must be taking a huge toll on him/her. Despite all his/her long years of dish washing contributions to society, the “self centered” people still haven’t given the not writer a moments notice of appreciation. Maybe if the note righter laid off the PA notes, the dishes might actually get done and people might end up liking this grouch enough to respect their complaints.
Apr 12, 2011 at 11:06 pm rating: 8
#9
Sensible Madness
“Furthermore, if you kids would stay off my damn lawn the grass wouldn’t be dead and this global warming thing wouldn’t be a problem.”
Apr 12, 2011 at 11:10 pm rating: 44
#10
JetJackson
Best not to link dirty dishes and the apocalypse or Christians everywhere will be leaving their dirty dishes in the sink in an effort to bring forward the second coming of christ.
Apr 12, 2011 at 11:59 pm rating: 9
#11
Canthz_B
What really burns my butt about this is that I was paid a minimum wage rate of $3.65/hr when I worked as a dishwasher.
If I’d have known I was saving the world as we know it I’d have asked for almost double that.
You might think I would have asked for more than that, but let’s face it, just how much is the world as we know it really worth?
Apr 13, 2011 at 12:26 am rating: 27
#12
JohnO
And so my thoughts about the current budget issues are perfectly articulated.
Apr 13, 2011 at 1:32 am rating: 1
#13
Janellionaire
“Also, if you steal my food out of the office fridge, the terrorists will win. And, if you leave the microwave a mess, God kills a bunny.”
Apr 13, 2011 at 2:00 am rating: 9
#14
Amy's Cooking Adventures
Haha! Awesome! I want to meet this guy!
Apr 13, 2011 at 8:38 am rating: 1
#15
Jimmy James
I feel like this note indicates where the crime-fighting duo / roommate relationship first started to fall apart for Nite Owl and Rorschach.
Apr 13, 2011 at 8:42 am rating: 4
#16
Kara
At my work someone made the grave mistake of putting a mini whiteboard next to the dishwasher, with the intent of writing down if it is running or not (because once opened, very few employees appear capable of restarting). Instead, the whiteboard acts as a running thread for employees to harass each other about who’s the biggest schmuck-face when it comes to dirty dishes.
Apr 13, 2011 at 9:16 am rating: 2
#17
Persephone
Alas, had the author of this note resisted the temptation to bold “alone”, “crumbled” and “self-centered”, it might have been pretty funny, lyrical even. However, the emphasized words degrade this to an attack. (I learned that from The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense by linguist Suzette Hagen Elgin — great series of books.)
Apr 13, 2011 at 9:19 am rating: 1
#18
Adriana
I lived in San Francisco. Most people there are actually like this. One guy berated me for accidentally dropping a sock that wasn’t mine on the floor at a laundromat (I didn’t even see it fall down because I tossed it onto a nearby table when I saw it in my dryer), except he didn’t even yell. He pulled me aside, got close to my face, whispered in my ear, and lectured me for about three minutes on how I’m a bad person for not picking up after myself.
Apr 13, 2011 at 11:15 am rating: 4
#19
Quite Contrary
Is this note directed at those who (live alone and) have dirty dishes in their sink at home? Hypothetically, of course.
Apr 13, 2011 at 11:16 am rating: 0
#20
Divvitar
Well, Gramps, the lack of clean dishes is reflective of the paradigm shift in America that places individual freedom above the “good of us all,” as you put it. Do you think Nike had chores in mind when they told us to “just do it?”
Apr 13, 2011 at 11:27 am rating: 3
#21
Flip-Flappin'
Hrmm…one bad day for me in the future vs. all those times I don’t have to clean up my gunky mess? I’ll take future bad day for a thousand, Gramps.
Apr 13, 2011 at 12:24 pm rating: 1
#22
Managed Hosting
This could also be a sign for the “Only Child” syndrome. The bold lettering adds a nice touch. How do you not clean up in an office? Think of the fruit flies!
Apr 13, 2011 at 1:56 pm rating: 0
#23
QBALL
So let it be written, So let it be done
Apr 13, 2011 at 3:48 pm rating: 1
#24
MMA Los Angeles
Well, at least there aren’t an profanities really. So, it’s not really harassment. Hooray for political correctness!
Apr 13, 2011 at 4:23 pm rating: 0
#25
bored@work
I am switching to paper plates, immediately. Biodegradable and won’t tick off the elderly. Having a Scooby-Doo moment… “I would have had clean dishes if it weren’t for you meddling kids!”
Apr 13, 2011 at 5:04 pm rating: 1
#26
pony girl
Am I the only one who read this with the Deep Thoughts voice?
Apr 13, 2011 at 6:45 pm rating: 3
#27
Canthz_B
How much ya wanna bet there are no dirty dishes aboard a Borg cube?
Apr 13, 2011 at 8:44 pm rating: 2
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