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Brake Check Reality Check

April 14th, 2011 · 175 comments

Two words: Team Fletcher!

[Status update:] I bet if I breakchecked [sic] this old man behind me... His Kia would be fucked. Get off my ass grandpa... [Comment:] Maybe if you keep texting & driving the person in front of you will brake check YOU!

related: Facebook is for frenemies

FILED UNDER: cell phone · driving · Facebook · oh snap · Tampa · text message

175 responses so far ↓

  • #1   Judythe

    I really want to click “like” on Fletcher’s post..and embarrassed to say I actually tried to do it here…

    Apr 14, 2011 at 10:45 pm   rating: 113  small thumbs up

    • #1.1   Chrys

      I try to “like” stuff in real life.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:10 pm   rating: 15  small thumbs up

  • #2   David Strong

    As a man old enough to be the grandpa of many Twitter readers, let me say first of all that I try to keep a big distance between me and the car in front of me and hate to be tail-gated, and secondly that lots of the asses I see – on and off the road – you could not pay me enough to get on.

    Apr 14, 2011 at 10:46 pm   rating: 28  small thumbs up

  • #3   AMoparGirl

    Dumb bitch!

    Apr 14, 2011 at 10:47 pm   rating: 18  small thumbs up

    • #3.1   Megan

      Misogynist jerk!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 4:44 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #3.2   lagne


      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:22 pm   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #3.3   Nunavut Guy

      Honestly,you don’t think that she is being a dumb bitch?How about we we just insert asshole?Would that clear the semantics for you?

      (Dumb Bitch)

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:22 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.4   TickleMyBambo

      Sorry but contemplating break checking an older man because your facebooking on your phone has warped your sense of perception so bad that it leaves you thinking that the older man behind you is riding your bumper when reality that’s really not the case. That seriously makes this chick a DUMB BITCH!! and if it were a man, it would make him a ASSHOLE!

      Now it’s only misogynistic if AMoparGirl originally said she was a dumb c**t that should be in the kitchen instead of driving erratically while facebooking… and really even if that was said, I would make an exception and agree with it.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:44 pm   rating: 42  small thumbs up

    • #3.5   Uh

      Bitch is misogynistic because it’s a gendered insult. Asshole is not gendered; everyone has an asshole. Did I make it easy enough for you to grasp, sparky?

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:52 am   rating: 29  small thumbs up

    • #3.6   Aaron

      Actually “bitch” is ACCURATE because it’s a gendered insult. Is that easy enough to grasp, Buttercup?

      Apr 16, 2011 at 9:00 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #3.7   Megan

      Because you are using a gendered insult, you are a misogynist. Sorry to burst your white male privileged bubble!

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:15 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #3.8   lagne

      oh, please.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 5:09 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #3.9   TickleMyBambo

      What I think Lagne meant to say was “Bitch please!”

      Apr 17, 2011 at 1:47 am   rating: 41  small thumbs up

    • #3.10   lagne


      Apr 17, 2011 at 11:03 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #3.11   Assilem

      Team “dumb bitch”. I’d never call a girl an asshole. Am I a misogynist if I call her a bitch? Even though I’ve got two X chromosomes?

      Apr 17, 2011 at 3:25 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #3.12   Chris

      Wait, something is wrong here…
      You can’t drive in the kitchen!

      …and why was there a man in there?

      (seriously though, the day you actively campaign about the best seller “Dumb white men” being sexist, is the day that I’ll stop using gendered insults. Seriously if i had a book caled “Dumb black bitch” I’d probably be arrested if not assaulted… bitch)

      Apr 17, 2011 at 6:56 pm   rating: 10  small thumbs up

  • #4   Bair

    Oh, Let me brake check her. Wreck my car so i can get a new one, plus the additional for pain and suffering….not to mention the added fines for texting while driving

    Apr 14, 2011 at 10:59 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

  • #5   TickleMyBambo

    I love it when people who drive and text think they’re gods behind the wheel and in their mind they believe that every other driver is an incompetent douche bag and the texters are absolutely perfect. Well too bad for them when they get a “crash course” of reality when their inability to put their phone down while driving causes them to either get in a bad wreck or kill someone.

    Team Fletcher all the way!

    Apr 14, 2011 at 11:08 pm   rating: 71  small thumbs up

    • #5.1   Canthz_B bang

      We lost a pedestrian texter a few months ago. The idiot walked right into traffic.

      Please continue to text while driving or performing any other activity which requires a degree of situational awareness.

      Thinning the herd has never been easier.

      Apr 14, 2011 at 11:26 pm   rating: 105  small thumbs up

    • #5.2   TickleMyBambo

      CB, you sir, have brought up a very valid point! In fact what you said reminds of one time when I was walking from my old campus library ton over to the business building to get to my next class. I was 7 months pregnant at the time and had one of those small luggage bags that I would pull around to help relieve the weight, so naturally I was a bit more sluggish.

      So I was about half way across the cross walk when this Mercedes Benz was zooming my way, obviously going about 35 mph on a 20 mph road, and the driver was a woman on her cellphone texting away cause I noticed her eyes were NOT looking forward at what was in front of her: ME! When she did finally look up and saw that I was there, she slammed on her breaks about a good foot from me, I mean she braked so hard how she and her male passenger didn’t get whiplash was beyond me.. and what happens next that gets my blood boiling. She had the audacity to honk, yes HONK, her horn at me but also roll her window down to scream out “Watch where you’re going fatass!” like it was MY fault that I was crossing the cross walk, that I had the right of way, and that she wasn’t paying attention to her reckless driving all because her phone consumed her mind at the time.

      After getting over the shock and fear of both my unborn child and myself nearly being ran over, and my brain catching on to her insult. Not really thinking I took my bag, walked over, and slammed it down as hard as I could on top of her windshield and cracking it pretty good (turned out to not be a good idea later on cause the heavy bag gave me back pains for a while). Oh boy did that set her off on a raging frenzy. She got out of the car and got all up in my face, and we spent the last 5 minutes both screaming at each other while her, whom I believe to be, boyfriend was pulling her back repeatedly saying ” You can’t hit a pregnant chick!” as she tried to hit me a couple times. Then security was called, then the cops showed.. Luckily there was enough witnesses to keep her from pressing charges against me, and she got into a whole shit load of trouble. All I had to do was pay a couple hundred bucks for the busted window and be on my way.. safe and unharmed.

      Was I wrong to have busted her windshield? Yes. But to me, I’d rather deal with the consequences of a broken windshield then suffer the consequences from the error of someone elses judgment. Had she not stopped when she did, she could not of only seriously injured me but she could of potentially killed my daughter and if that were to have happened.. Let me tell ya, I would of done more then just crack her windshield. People who drive (and walk aimlessly) around texting and not paying attention are a danger to everyone else who actually practice common sense, and it’s those people and not the texter that usually pays for it and that just ain’t right.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 1:01 am   rating: 123  small thumbs up

    • #5.3   sonny bishop

      Wow…are the movie rights available for this one?

      Apr 15, 2011 at 6:59 am   rating: 30  small thumbs up

    • #5.4   Denise

      OMG…..after I read that she stopped a foot away from you, in my head I was totally picturing myself at 7 months pregnant doing using my bag to mess with her car….lo and behold you did it. It’s one thing to not pay attention, but to scream at a pedestrian when you are going over the speed limit is another.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 7:56 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #5.5   TickleMyBambo

      @Denise: Yeah it was a rather horrifying experience, and one I wish to never repeat again. I sincerely hope that the driver learned a valuable lesson from it… If not, then I guess she’s rollin’ around with constantly busted windows.

      @Sonny: If you asking this because you’re a struggling producer trying to get to the top, then sure go a head and take rights to it! But I’m afraid the length of this movie would breach the laws of Brevity ; )

      Apr 15, 2011 at 12:51 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #5.6   sonny bishop

      Actually, wasn’t that an episode of The Bad Girls Club?

      Apr 15, 2011 at 2:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #5.7   quatfaux

      Team TickleMyBambo!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 2:15 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #5.8   TickleMyBambo

      What episode is this, Sonny? Cause I had no idea Bad Girls Club is now having a full cast of crazy partying pregnant women that go around busting windows on peoples cars. Then again, with reality TV, you never know what the hell they are going to show next. Are you sure this isn’t your idea of a Reality show that hasn’t moved on from the planning stage due to disagreements over the brevity of the episodes plot and airing schedule.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 7:31 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #5.9   Chrys

      I think the satisfaction would be worth the back pains! This is the kind of thing I fantasize about.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:22 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #5.10   TickleMyBambo

      It’s a thing a lot of people fantasize about! But trust me when I say that even though the satisfaction from such displays of personal justice feels good at the time, but that feeling quickly fades once your head clears and you are faced with the repercussions of your actions. I would say that back pains was a worthy, and somewhat satisfying, sacrifice for the cause but realistically it’s not very good for someone who was 7 months pregnant cause the strain of lifting a heavy small luggage bad and exerting myself to slam it could have potentially threw me into early labor or caused serious problems. That is why I found what I did to be foolish because I too put myself and my then unborn child in harms way by acting so recklessly impulsive, even though my actions and feeling were justified, I still should have been more careful.

      Apr 17, 2011 at 2:44 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #5.11   El Jefe

      Actually, Tickle, pretending you did what you did (break the windshield) for any more important reason than that it felt good is sorta wrong. Justifying displays of aggression by implying it was exactly what the situation called for is just rationalizing. And anyone on the thread here (including me) would have probably done something similar, but pretending you didn’t sustain or escalate the conflict (or commit a fairly un-prosecutable crime) is just kidding yourself. If you were in such fear for your safety you could HAVE (not of) gotten out of the road, written down the tag number, and called the authorities to report the crime. The distracted driver scenario was not in your control, but from the time the driver stopped you had a certain amount of control over the situation. If someone yells and screams at you after almost running you over what are the odds they will be yelled out of a rage tantrum?

      I can’t say how dangerous the heavy bag was (as the years progress it seems like fewer doctors and studies are finding physical exertion dangerous) but acting like you were not endangering your fetus by confronting the oblivious c-bomb as you did is simply not correct. Just as one may feel motivated to ‘rush the bank robber’ in the case of a stickup that is simply not a safe and prudent thing to do. Though it may feel morally justified, it is not a realistic safety strategy. Nor is avoiding wearing a safety belt so you ‘will be thrown clear of the accident.’ ‘Bash her windshield in before she can attack me’ is one such nonsensical strategy. Team Tickle on the breakage, just not the noble high horse elevation.

      You imply the broken windshield was paid for on the spot. Really? How does that happen?

      Team Hang Up and Drive Attentively

      Apr 17, 2011 at 11:53 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.12   TickleMyBambo

      El Jefe,

      You’re trying to rationalize a situation that you, yourself, were not even there to be a part of. Just because I acted in an aggressive manner to a situation that could of potentially got me hurt doesn’t mean I thought what I did was correct, I even said what I did on my part was wrong and if I was on what you call a “high horse” I would be so caught up in how right I was wouldn’t have admitted to my faults.

      Just because one says that “Oh I wouldn’t do this in a certain serious situation” doesn’t mean that you wouldn’t unintentionally do something on a whim that you thought you wouldn’t do once put in that situation. Do I wish I could have handled it better? Yes I do.. but it’s over and done with, I can’t go back in time and change it. You telling me how I should have handled the situation, and your belief on how it should have happened is downright ludicrous, and in someways insulting. Nobody called out to me to watch out, I can’t out run a car going 35 mph around a corner that many, driving or walking, have trouble seeing around no matter how hard you look.. When the car stopped I was in shock and fear like a deer in headlights and when she acted out in aggression towards me, I acted out in both shock and aggression in a way that was less then desirable. By lifting that bag, I got bad backs pains and luckily nothing worse happened, but being hit by a car is way WAY worse and I have every right to have fear of that possibly coming close to happening.

      Also it was me who called campus security, who came over to assess the situation and they in turn called the cops to sort out the broken windshield and reckless driving debacle because they had to handle another emergency in the dorms. I did not pay on the spot, I was given an option : Either go to court and pay a fine, or pay her insurance company for the broken windshield and be done with it.. I chose the second option which I paid for days later. I may of gotten away with being unharmed but I did not get away with busting the drivers windshield scotch free like you seem to think that I did. I took responsibility for my part of “escalating” the situation. Apologies for trying to cut it short and not being more specific enough.

      Maybe it is you, El Jefe, that should get off your elevated Velcro high horse and realize that unless you were in that persons shoes that it is best to keep your mouth shut on matters that you’re ignorant about.

      Apr 18, 2011 at 9:41 am   rating: 24  small thumbs up

    • #5.13   El Jefe

      Tickle, I have reread your posts (bad grammar and all) and suggest you do the same with mine, for the second paragraph in 5.12 suggests you absorbed very little.

      Let me restate this in a way that you may understand better. The following statement of yours makes zero fucking sense:

      “[I]’d rather deal with the consequences of a broken windshield then suffer the consequences from the error of someone elses judgment.”

      If by “the consequences from the error of someone else[']s judgment” you mean being hit by a c-bomb of a driver then at NO point were you offered the choice “Hey lady, would you rather be hit by a car or bonk this bitch driver on the windshield?”

      Furthermore, your statement that because I wasn’t there I can’t say what someone COULD do (caps since this words seems challenging for you) is utterly ludicrous and against the very concept of the Internet as it exists today. Readers are often a large mob who support the kind of vigilante justice you dished out. You’ll notice at no point did I judge your actions, just restate them as facts. You responded to someone committing a moderate crime by committing a minor one. You were in a dangerous situation and took steps to stay in it because it felt right.

      Implying an adult stranger on the Internet should shut up is about as effective and productive as it was when you were 7 on the playground.

      El Jefe, a.k.a. “No, YOUU shut up!”

      P.S. Concerning ‘rationalize’ I do not think that that word means what you think it means

      Apr 21, 2011 at 11:21 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #5.14   TickleMyBambo

      I reread your posts, and I happen to understand them just fine.

      No, Jefe, I merely implied in as polite of a manner that I can muster that you should keep your mouth shut, not telling you to outright shut up which I didn’t. And seriously, Mr High and Mighty Grammar Master, I could OF added could HAVE but I simply just don’t because I don’t have to appeal to the likes of someone such as yourself. If you you have a problem with other peoples grammar, then I suggest you get off here and get yourself a degree in english literature so you can put it to good use teaching impressionable future children how to use proper grammar instead of wasting your time criticizing adults on the internet who don’t honestly give a shit. You don’t like how I write then stop fucking reading my posts! Also I know what “rationalize” means fuck you very much.

      At: “[I]’d rather deal with the consequences of a broken windshield then suffer the consequences from the error of someone elses judgment.” Meaning by taking the action that I did I knew that there would be consequences to what I had done and accepted it for what it was, I didn’t have to stay but it all happened so fast that I just happened to of stayed. I’d rather take responsibility for my actions then being hit by a car and having to suffer the pain and agony caused from someones bad choice. Sorry you don’t have the mental capacity to understand this, but your inability to understand is not my problem.

      Also, you can’t reinstate someone’s story with “facts” when you WERE NOT THERE! You can try all you like but you just can’t. The only people who have and know the true facts are myself, the driver, her boyfriend and the police. Not you.

      And what the fuck.. Vigilante justice? Seriously? I did not wake up that morning to put on my leather tights and flowing pink cape to start my day as the pregnant masked tickling crusader prowling the streets on a cloudy day on campus, hellbent on serving much needed justice on some dumb, texting, female driver who was driving recklessly because it simply “felt right”. Sorry to burst your comic book insinuations but what I did was not any way, shape, or form Vigilantism.

      I say this again, get off your elevated velcro high horse before you end up getting bucked off and hitting that mighty big inflated head of yours. I’m done with you.

      Apr 25, 2011 at 5:48 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #5.15   El Jefe

      Boy, Tickle, if you think people shouldn’t criticize others’ words, including their grammar, maybe you should NEVER visit PAN again. If you went to college I have the feeling you majored in Unclear on the Concept. Seriously, it is one of the major pillars of criticism here, so maybe you should just lurk or leave.

      I’m not sure how you got from ‘vigilante justice’ to ‘caped crusader’ but you maybe want to look it up in a dictionary some day (hint: vigilante does not mean a comic book superhero). I suppose that is assuming you can read for content, which maybe be an unfair assumption since the difference between ‘then’ and ‘than’ is foreign to you.

      Another word you should look up is ‘implied’ since you’ll find it is exactly what you said it’s not.

      Apr 25, 2011 at 11:47 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #6   Canthz_B bang

    She’s worried about the driver behind her while her grandfather feels her up?

    Talk about a close family!

    Apr 14, 2011 at 11:14 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #6.1   The Elf

      The family that plays together stays together!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 6:36 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #6.2   AuntyBron

      Ease off there, you old lech. She’s already too distacted with her texting to pay attention to her driving as it is.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:44 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #7   eric

    98% of brake checkers are self-righteous douchebags who drive at or under the speed limit during completely ideal conditions. These are the same folks who talk on the cell phone, put on makeup, futz around with the ceiling-mount DVD player, and fail to stop at stop signs. (How much time does a “rolling stop” save when you’re doing 5 to 10 under all the time? aaaaa)

    Apr 14, 2011 at 11:22 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #7.1   boxes

      Driving at the speed limit makes you a douchebag?

      Apr 14, 2011 at 11:59 pm   rating: 74  small thumbs up

    • #7.2   Canthz_B bang

      It does when you’re in the passing lane with two miles of clear freeway in front of you and fifty-two cars in your rear-view mirror.

      Get the fuck out of the way you damned self-appointed traffic regulators!!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 12:18 am   rating: 76  small thumbs up

    • #7.3   Kumi

      Guess if I get a ticket for speeding you would mind pay it?

      How do you know this lady didn’t write this comment when she wasn’t driving? Might have been an after thought for facebook.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 12:21 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #7.4   Lauren

      None of that has anything to do with brake checking; it has everything to do with you being a tailgating douchebag. Just PASS.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 12:23 am   rating: 31  small thumbs up

    • #7.5   Canthz_B bang

      Idiots. :roll:

      1) I already said you’re blocking the passing lane (breaking the law, BTW). So I should pass on the right and get a ticket for that?

      2) I didn’t say speed up, I said get the fuck out of the way…normally done by getting OUT OF THE PASSING LANE when you’re not passing, because, you know, it’s the PASSING LANE. I’d never ask anyone to drive faster than their comfort-level (or driving skill) allows. Just to move over to where they belong in the traffic flow.

      3) Try reading signs. They’ve made a lovely one that reads “SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT”. Another which reads “KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS”. I know, a really hard concept to understand, right? Why do they make those signs so confusing when all they really mean is…”GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!”?

      4) I don’t tailgate, that’s just your conscience speaking to you about the people riding your slow ass because you’re too stupid or too stubborn to get out of the passing lane, i.e. to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY! YOU’RE BLOCKING TRAFFIC!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 12:47 am   rating: 62  small thumbs up

    • #7.6   Canthz_B bang

      I see this all too often on trips between Phoenix and Tucson, AZ.

      I’ll be cruising at a comfy 80 to 83mph in a 75mph zone (they don’t ticket here for under 10 mph over the limit, but they’ll nab you at 11 over) in the passing lane passing other cars nicely. I’ll look up and see a car in my rear-view a mile or so back and closing fast. I make a mental note of that car, and look for the spot I’ll move over for him when he get’s close enough to pass. When he gets to that point, I move over and let him fly along at his own clip.

      Then I move back over and continue passing those who choose to do 75 to 79mph.

      What I DON’T do is ignore my handy-dandy rear-view mirror, pay no attention to everything else that’s going on around me in this dynamic, ever-changing situation we call driving, or act as though my car is a child’s race car track toy slotted and pegged into “my lane” and anyone behind me will just have to live with that.


      I also see idiots blocking the passing lane (not the “fast lane” mind you, there’s no such animal so just because you’re going fast doesn’t mean you should be in the passing lane) with large swaths of freeway open ahead of them, and long lines of traffic behind them, who will drive side-by-side with another driver for miles making it so that no one can pass.

      That, my friends, is an idiot by any definition…so GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!…It’s the law. ;-)

      Apr 15, 2011 at 1:34 am   rating: 73  small thumbs up

    • #7.7   lagne

      Amen amen amen, canthz.

      “None of that has anything to do with brake checking; it has everything to do with you being a tailgating douchebag. Just PASS.”

      Oh, you mean in the – in the PASSING lane? the one you’re BLOCKING? I commute two hours and see this attitude in action every day; it is not my responsibility to illegally pass you – it is YOUR responsibility to, as canthz stated perfectly, get the fuck out of the way. Who the fuck handed you the princess pass that says you’re allowed to block passing traffic just because? Ever considered that you’re a selfish, inconsiderate, inattentive driver more than I might be a tailgating douchebag?

      Explain to me how you driving at or below the speed limit in the passing lane is okay for you to do. Seriously, I’d love to hear the thought process explained, because when I get stuck behind you driving 65 mph in a 70 mph zone IN THE PASSING LANE, I can never understand how you justify it.

      “Guess you wouldn’t mind paying my speeding ticket.” Wah wah wah. You’re not even DRIVING fast. That’s the whole point. Get the fuck over and let me earn my own damn speeding ticket, Mom.

      I keep hearing about upcoming crackdowns on shitty, inconsiderate drivers who insist on blocking the passing lane.. is that a nation-wide thing, or just in my state? It cannot. happen. fast. enough.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 3:15 am   rating: 46  small thumbs up

    • #7.8   Kara bang

      All people do by puttering along in the passing lane–holding everyone else up–is inspire road rage everywhere. Guaranteed recipients of an offensive gesture and if it’s your lucky day, maybe you’ll get shot.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 6:40 am   rating: 26  small thumbs up

    • #7.9   The Elf

      In all fairness, neither Eric nor Boxes never referred to the passing lane. It was more about speeding generally. On a two-lane road, the solution is obvious. Things get a little more difficult on a one-lane road, especially a one-lane road with no passing zones (or enough traffic to render those useless) and no shoulders.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 7:56 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #7.10   Canthz_B bang

      Well, Elf, I have no beef with people driving the speed limit legitimately on a one-lane road. I hate getting stuck behind them in a no passing zone, but watcha gonna do, right? They’re doing nothing wrong, that’s why I limited my objection to those blocking the passing lane and never said that driving at the speed limit makes one an idiot.

      My wife, god bless her, will get in a lane and own it no matter what. This makes her an idiot driver in my opinion. She needs to learn to GTF out of the way. She’ll also get angry with someone in front of her in “her lane” for driving too slowly when all she need do is go around them…but she can’t, because then she’d have to leave “her lane”.

      Absofuckinglutely fascinatingly idiotic driving philosophy, but she’s not alone.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:55 am   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #7.11   *snerk*

      It will make some of you very happy to hear that I actually got a ticket for driving in the passing lane. I want to make it clear that I was not driving slowly nor blocking anyone else from getting by. Just tired of constantly changing lanes when I caught up to the next car ahead of me. Yes, I do watch my rear view.

      First time I’ve ever heard of that happening, and first ticket I’ve gotten since I was a stupid teenager. Sigh.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:23 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.12   Canthz_B bang

      Sorry about that, snerk, but you were driving in the passing lane and not passing. So…

      I got pulled over and given a warning for “aggressive driving” for changing lanes and passing too often.

      Mind you, this road was NOT a no passing zone and I was not speeding.
      The officer actually asked me if I knew how many times I’d used my turn signal in the past three miles.

      Well, excuse me, but am I not supposed to signal that I’m about to change lanes?
      Do I not get a ticket for changing lanes without signaling?
      What are the dashed lines in the road for if not to indicate that I may pass there?

      He also said that I was waving my arms around in rage as an indicator of road rage.
      Now I can’t even play air drums when I listen to my music while driving lest some dick in mirrored shades think I’m raging. :roll:

      Apr 15, 2011 at 10:21 am   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #7.13   lagne

      Yeah, on one-lane roads, we’re all kinda at the mercy of the speed limit and those who choose to drive it. Nothing wrong with that.

      And there’s nothing wrong with someone slower than me in a passing lane, either, just as long as they’re actually passing people. If someone’s in the passing lane driving 75mph and passing everyone else, I’m not gonna get pissed at them because I’d rather be driving 84mph. They’re contributing to the flow of traffic, not blocking it; that’s all I care about.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:01 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #7.14   *snerk*

      Sounds like we each needed the other’s cop, CB. I don’t dispute that I was driving in the passing lane. But unless you’re holding other people up or going slower than the prevailing speed of traffic, I think it’s a silly reason to be pulled over.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:10 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #7.15   TippingCows

      Ok I admit I have brake checked. It’s the Masshole in me. I can count the times in 12 years I’ve been driving on one hand, probably. The reason I get mad enough to do this? First, I am always going well above the speed limit (right at 10MPH usually). If someone wants to go faster than me and there is no one next to me, I move over and let that person be my rabbit. But if there are people next to me that I am passing and you’re on my butt and I’m going 85 on a 70 MPH highway, then get the flock off my ass. The best part is when you get tailgated in a middle lane, or anywhere that is NOT the passing lane …

      Apr 15, 2011 at 2:34 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #7.16   Odious

      “I’ll be cruising at a comfy 80 to 83mph in a 75mph zone”

      Proof that you’re the douche. It’s all about you, you, you. So that you can arrive 5 seconds sooner and because you have the extra-consumption princess pass. No worries about the two extra tons annual exhaust created for no reason.

      Spuriously spamming the highways and the comments.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 4:31 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #7.17   lagne

      and Odious wins by playing the self-righteous “extra consumption five zillion tons of exhaust coming out of everyone’s ass” card.

      *hands Odious the princess pass, which is made of the finest non-recyclable plastic*

      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:30 pm   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #7.18   Nunavut Guy

      Break checking can kill someone.Period.It may even not be the person that you have lost your mind over.

      Even thinking of doing this is a gross disrespect for all the drivers and their passengers in your general area.

      Swallow your petulant attitude and grow some responsibility.If you can’t,please permanently park your vehicle.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 7:37 pm   rating: 17  small thumbs up

    • #7.19   TippingCows

      Sorry, I will respectfully disagree. Besides, I am sure if we spied into your life we’d find a whole mess of things we could criticize and consider dangerous/inconsiderate/immature. At least I can admit when I have done stupid things and know hey, it’s stupid. I felt justified at the time. Doesn’t mean it’s all right.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:37 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.20   lagne

      *wrestling princess pass away from Odious, tossing it to Nunavut Guy*

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:06 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.21   Why?

      ‘I got pulled over and given a warning for “aggressive driving” for changing lanes and passing too often.’

      Wow, really? I can’t imagine you as an aggressive, dangerous driver who thinks they own the road and everyone around them is an idiot. You don’t sound like one at all.

      Seriously, turn in your license before you fucking kill someone.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:09 pm   rating: 19  small thumbs up

    • #7.22   Canthz_B bang

      “They’re doing nothing wrong, that’s why I limited my objection to those blocking the passing lane and never said that driving at the speed limit makes one an idiot.”

      Reading is FUNdamental. ;-)

      Yes, I’m dangerous on the road because I said that the passing lane is for vehicles that happen to be passing, that there are useful signs posted to let drivers know that and that I don’t tailgate nor do I have a problem settling into the speed limit and driving along just fine when passing is not allowed…also that I’m observant and considerate enough to move out of the way if another driver is moving faster than I and wishes to pass.
      That I’ll change lanes in a zone designated by broken lines as a passing zone and use my turn signals when doing so.
      Having said all of these things, and never having said that everyone else around me is an idiot, just the idiot drivers (up to and including my own wife who’d stay in the passing lane the full 125 miles between Phoenix and Tucson if she could have her way [she just likes the left lane, she says]) who actually do think they own a lane once they’re in it and refuse to either follow the law (as posted on your standard “KEEP RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS” signs which The State, not I posted for your edification) or at the very least be considerate of the drivers around them, follow THE LAW and move to the appropriate lane for their rate of travel…
      all of these reasonable, law-abiding things make me a dangerous driver about to kill someone. :roll:

      Or your take on it makes you an idiot. Especially since your position seems to be that since I know the rules of the road and practice them, that makes me a danger. But if I didn’t know the rules of the road and did not practice them I’d be deemed by you to be a safe driver.

      One of us should indeed turn in their license…but it ain’t me.

      Break-checking is dangerous. I’ve found that simply switching on my headlights does the trick. The tail-lights go on at the same time, and the knucklehead on my rear bumper is just as surprised!

      Oh, and I must apologize to Odious for my being personally responsible for destroying the environment…my bad. :oops:

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:58 pm   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #7.23   chesire cat

      brake checking is what assholes do. Sure it is not nice to tailgate, but neither is brake checking. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Like someone else pointed out, it could cause a wreck that injures an innocent party like someone in another car that might get involved or say an innocent passenger in the car you brake checked.

      If you need to brake, then brake, but don’t brake just for the heck of it. People who brake unneccesarily are stupid drivers too. I never mind if someone is on my ass. I am not talking about on the freeway because I get over for faster drivers. But on a one lane road if I am going the speed limit or as fast as I feel comfortable driving, if that is not fast enough for you, too damn bad. You can pass me if you can or you can ride my ass. Whatever, won’t bother me. I just ignore tailgaters. In the end if they hit me that is going to be THEIR ass because they will buy me a new car and pay me tons of money for pain and suffering.

      So I really don’t get why people get all butthurt about tailgaters.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:23 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #7.24   Nunavut Guy

      lange;Break checking is like giving someone the finger.It only further enrages the person on the receiving end(well except for the very real chance of killing someone).

      I’m sure it feels good.MMMMM break check and finger GGOOOOOD.But you will grow up one day and realize that this kind of shit does not solve anything.

      As to your pass(I shall covet it ),I live in a fly-in community where you are accountable for all your actions.Everything you do here is seen.If I were to flash the finger at someone,their relatives and friends would be walking up to me and asking why.If I endangered one of their kins’ lives by a childish move I would have to move.

      Accountability………..not something most city people have to deal with.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 8:02 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #7.25   chesire cat

      Yeah I stopped flipping the bird about 7 years ago. Now the most you will get out of me is a honk and a frowney face.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 8:52 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.26   Canthz_B bang

      “I just ignore tailgaters. In the end if they hit me that is going to be THEIR ass because they will buy me a new car and pay me tons of money for pain and suffering. “

      CC, how much money do you think you’ll get to enjoy when you’re rear-ended into an oncoming 18-wheeler and die instantly?

      I knew someone that happened to, and from what I’ve seen the money hasn’t made those who loved her much happier about it.

      Really people…don’t tailgate. Flash your high-beams if you must, but tailgating isn’t going to make an idiot “lane owner” move over because their attitude is to say “just go around me!”

      Apr 16, 2011 at 9:40 am   rating: 10  small thumbs up

    • #7.27   lagne

      Nunavut Guy:

      The internet is such an icky place when it comes to assuming facts about fellow anonymous posters. :-) You’ll notice that not once in all of my posts here have I advocated brake-checking, admitted to doing it (I do not), or cheered on those who do; in fact, I said somewhere on here that my mother has been seriously rear-ended several times and I’m actually quite responsible about maintaining distance between the cars in front of and behind me. Since I am an observant and respectful driver, it makes me NUTS when people are not.

      I’m also about as far from “city folk” as you can get, hence my long commute. I know the ins and outs of small community and accountability.

      So all that to say: we agree. Even before you assumed I was petulant and irresponsible.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 2:34 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #7.28   Mike

      The wife of the transportation writer in the San Jose Mercury News dubs those people who stay in the left lane “road boulders.”

      I tend to drive around the speed limit, and I am well acquainted with the right lanes of the highways I drive. I move left (when I can do so without cutting someone off) to get around slower traffic, and them move back to the right. It’s really less stressful to get out of the way and just let other people do what they need to do.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 2:56 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #7.29   Nunavut Guy

      @ lange……Fair enough on most points,but come on ,passing me the Princess pass kind of polarized us.I have to take a shake at that……I will,however, ask permission to use these passes in lieu of CB’s gold stars.The said stars are on my bare bum(not my choice).

      Accountable?……I live in a Hamlet of 1700 people.You had better have a good reason for every move you make here.We have no roads out.

      We have to get along.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:40 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #7.30   lagne

      Hey, the princess pass can be used to reward both good AND evil. Perhaps it was a compliment? :-) giggle. All in good fun; my apologies for any ruffled feathers.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:51 pm   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #7.31   Nunavut Guy

      No….that was a good shot.

      What this site is all about.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 8:09 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #7.32   The Elf

      Chesire Cat, your logic only works if you drive a tank and the tailgater is on a scooter. I get butthurt about tailgaters because I am usually in a smaller vehicle. If not a motorcycle, than a small coupe or sports car. If the SUV behind me rear ends me on the highway, I may not be alive long enough to point out that he was wrong.

      For some reason, no one likes to tailgate my old truck. This strikes me as hilarious, because I don’t speed in that truck. It’s not really capable of it! I take off at green lights like a sloth. Yet, no tailgaters. (Well, unless it’s a stop on a hill and then usually someone will creep up right behind me.) But when I’m cruising at 15 over in my sports car, they’re all over my butt. Weird!

      I usually try to rectify the situation by changing lanes. On the bike, I’ll swerve and that makes them all nervous and they back off. I’ve also turned on my windshield washer – if a car is too close, they’ll get the splatter and that tends to make them back off. Out of desperation, I have flashed my brakes, but that’s not a true brake-check.

      Apr 18, 2011 at 7:44 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #8   Cate

    Speed limits were set when cars had worse tires, worse brakes, and worse steering.

    Then again, drivers now have drive-throughs, phones, televisions, multiple cup holders, and vanity mirrors.

    So… even?

    Apr 15, 2011 at 1:03 am   rating: 20  small thumbs up

    • #8.1   Silence

      Actually, most places change their speed limits depending on changes in frequency of use, technology, etc. I can’t speak for everywhere, but many places review them on a yearly basis.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 2:32 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #8.2   Canthz_B bang

      Well, I’m aware that speed limits are often set based upon road engineering and location, rural being higher than urban, long and straight being faster than curvaceous, for example. Larger states with more territory for drivers to cover also tend to have higher speed limits. Montana and Texas come to mind on this front.

      But like Silence, I cannot speak for everywhere.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 3:15 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #8.3   clever name

      I love fucking with people that want to drive 50 miles over the speed limit. Don’t like it? I know :D

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:50 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #8.4   lagne

      Why? I don’t give a shit how you drive; I just want you to get out of the way if you’re legally obligated to do so.

      Now, if you’re talking about fucking with “people who want to drive 50 mph over the speed limit and zoom up on your ass and flash their lights at you and practically crawl up into your backseat,” well… I rather enjoy fucking with them, too. :-) Though I try not to, because those are the crazies, and the crazies don’t care if they cause a wreck. I’m not THAT invested in fucking with people.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 12:26 pm   rating: 16  small thumbs up

    • #8.5   TippingCows

      Oh yes, I’ve seen that one in my day. The first time that happened to me I thought it was a cop, so I got super nervous. I went to move over (forgetting my signal – I was new to my license, never got pulled over, it sucked) and they jerked over the same time I did and came SO CLOSE to hitting me I swear I felt SOMEthing. Luckily I was looking in my side mirror as I was moving. I was scared shitless to drive a few days after that. Anyways, the point is – the next time someone did that to me I sat there and drove a little slower and waited for them to pass me – too scared to move, man!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:41 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #8.6   Canthz_B bang

      I’m in Arizona. These people have a right to carry, and far too many do. Fucking with another driver could be the last thing you do before the bullet enters your occipital lobe.

      Not a smart move.

      Just do as I suggested above.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 12:41 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #9   Silence

    Tailgating to pressure someone into going faster or change lanes is a douchebag move. But so is updating one’s Facebook while driving. Seriously, it is possible to pull your eyeballs off of it for 20 minutes?

    Apr 15, 2011 at 2:35 am   rating: 43  small thumbs up

  • #10   The Elf

    I really hate it when people tailgate me on the motorcycle. I can come to a stop quicker than they can and if they rear-end me it won’t matter to me who is in the right because I will be dead. If I’m in the left lane, I’ll get over as soon as it is safe to do so and you can go on and catch all my speeding tickets for me. If I’m in the right lane, just pass me if you really want to fly! Either way, don’t run up my tailpipe. And it’s not like I’m going slowly! I just think some people like to tailgate.

    But I did discover that if I swerve in my lane – safely, because I only take up 1/3 of the lane anyway – they back off right quick. Apparantly weaving biker = crazy. Good to know. Also, I’ve had fewer incidents of tailgating ever since I got louder pipes.

    Apr 15, 2011 at 6:45 am   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #10.1   AuntyBron

      Or maybe they just can’t stand the thought of anyone being in front of them.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:53 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #10.2   lagne

      Two of my best friends are wicked tailgaters. One of them just gets too close without realizing it, then ten miles later she’s like, “Oh, I guess I’m too close, huh?” and the other is a serious road rager. I just don’t understand how people can feel safe driving that close to someone else at such high speeds, and in particular, I don’t understand how the one friend can park on someone’s trunk and truly not realize she’s doing it for several miles.

      (Despite my comments up north, I’m actually not a tailgater; my mother’s been rear-ended several times and I’m actually super-paranoid about putting distance between myself and other drivers.) :)

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:12 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #10.3   TippingCows

      My dad drives a Harley and he has the same complaints. When I see someone driving/riding next to me with their body completely exposed to the elements, I get a little cautious and try to give them their space. I imagine being in that situation and honestly, I don’t know how you guys do it – trusting the mAsses to keep you safe – no matter how many precautions you take you’re still so danged vulnerable.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:43 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #10.4   Izzy4Realz

      I don’t understand why some people feel it’s necessary to crowd bikers! I try to give people on motorcycles space, because I don’t want to be responsible for killing them if something goes wrong!

      I get the feeling that these people don’t know anyone who has a bike. My aunt & uncle taught me to be aware of everyone around me, and that cars =/= bikes. However, I do hate it when people on motorcycles weave through the lanes around cars full of people who may or may not actually see them until it’s too late.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:18 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #10.5   The Elf

      When I’m on my bike, I love people like you two! Yes, please, give me space!

      I don’t weave through lanes – that’s more of a sportbike thing and I’m a cruiser.

      Apr 18, 2011 at 7:49 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #11   Grant

    I drive at a speed appropriate to the road, conditions and other factors and not exceeding the limit (it’s a limit, not a target or a recommendation!)

    You have to trust the decision of the other driver relating to their control of their own vehicle. For example, if someone is holding back pulling into a gap in traffic, it may be because their vehicle cannot accelerate to fit into the gap, or that pulling anything other than a low G turn would hurt them, a passenger or damage cargo. If someone hasn’t pulled forward at a junction, don’t honk them, consider what can they see from their position that you can’t see.
    I can’t see why this is in PAN though. Is there not a site?

    Apr 15, 2011 at 7:32 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #11.1   Adriana

      Yeah, it’s a limit, but there’s nothing worse than getting stuck behind someone who’s stubbornly adhering to that limit (or below that limit) when there’s no other lane. If there’s not going to be a passing lane for a while, then the most courteous thing to do is pull over.

      When I drive to places I’ve never been or on windy roads where other drivers seem more experienced, I usually get a line of people behind me and so pull over as quickly as I can to let them pass.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:17 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #11.2   lagne

      Actually, the one-lane road-blockers are the ones who annoy me the least, as they really don’t have any way to let faster drivers pass.

      Not to be argumentative, but I think it’s pretty unrealistic to expect slower drivers to pull over for faster drivers. Shoulders are often not wide enough to accommodate a whole car, which causes the faster driver to take up part of the opposite lane while passing; if this were safe to do, it would be a passing zone. And driving on the shoulder can be bad for your car/tires. Plus – I don’t own the road, and have no reason to expect someone else to get off it in order to accommodate my need for speed.

      Blocking a passing lane is one thing, but driving at (or even below) the speed limit on a one-lane road is, well – that’s what it’s there for. If you want to drive interstate speeds, take the interstate.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:25 am   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #11.3   Divvitar

      Actually, I’m pretty sure in parts of Washington here, there are Speed Suggestions, not limits. Various highways will be posted with a 55 or 60 mph sign, but traffic flow is always 5-10 over that. On some freeways, if you are doing less than 75 (usually in a 70 zone) you get run over. Plus, the furthest right lane is always full of semis…which normally drive 60 to 65. My wife says I drive too slow, but I usually set my cruise control for 5 over. She’s the one with all of the tickets!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:03 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #11.4   Canthz_B bang

      AZ is kind of like that. Everyone knows they will not be stopped for driving less than 11 mph over the posted limit , so almost everyone is at least 5 over.
      Driving the posted speed limit in the right-hand lane can get you at the very least tailgated and dirty looks. Doing so farther left can get you seriously injured. Especially on the freeways where the kids routinely flash by at 90 to 95mph clips in 75 mph zones. Which is why I keep an eye on the rear-view mirror to be sure I’m in a position to get out of their way.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 12:55 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #11.5   chesire cat

      Adriana is right. I get very mad when some old geezer is going way under the speed limit on a one lane road with no where to pass. Especially when there is a line of 10 cars behind them poking along. The actual law in my state is if you get 10 cars behind you due to your low speed, you have to pull over. No one has ever done it though. I usually am not slow enough to have to pull over but I have once when I was going on a mountain and felt very uncomfortable going fast so I pulled over and let some people pass me.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:28 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #11.6   chesire cat

      I drive in downtown Atlanta a lot. I found that if you go slow meaning under 80 the best lane is the next to right hand lane. If you go in the furthest right lane which should be the slowest lane you get run over. Mostly due to the fact that the people going 90 will fly at 90 into that lane when they need to exit the freeway. Scaryness. So I stick to the next to right hand lane.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:31 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #12   Denise

    I have a friend that post to facebook during his commute often….I’m always shocked, then I remember he carpools. But I have noticed other people who post to facebook while driving, and I am proud to say they usually don’t get any “likes”….more than likely the response will be “you’re texting while driving?”

    Apr 15, 2011 at 7:58 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

  • #13   sonny bishop

    Breakcheck? Does she want to see if he’s had his daily nap?

    Apr 15, 2011 at 9:13 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

  • #14   clumber

    Driving too close :

    TEAM I don’t want to share the road with either of them.

    About a year ago I was stopped at a longass stoplight in broad daylight in my bright red truck (was my Gpa’s so shut up), with its bright red brake lights on – including the one in the canopy that has a broken mount so it was swinging back and forth in bright red – and some douchemache was texting/facebooking/whatTHEfuckEVER on his phone (he told me this) and slammed into me, never even tapping his brakes. Knocked my truck all the way into the middle of the intersection (thankfully atypically empty). Unfortunately, the concussion he caused me ended up letting him off scott-free because the notes I took at the time became illegible about 1/3 of the way down the paper and, as my brain swelled/bruised, I became too stupid to call 911… or maybe he told me he had already called them… it’s all very fuzzy. At least Mona, the dog in the avatar▲◄there, was okay and no one makes fun of me anymore for having a dog seatbelt in the truck. heh Anyway, those of you who drive and text are assholes (at least while doing so) and you WILL hurt someone someday, hopefully only yourself. Turn it the fuck off or toss it in the backseat until your drive is over.

    Facebook Fridays never fail to give me a booster shot for not being on FaceSpaceTwits or other “social” media… Really? People update it while they are driving?! Amazing… I guess I am missing out and should be doing jigsaw puzzles or building plastic models during the commute.

    Apr 15, 2011 at 9:46 am   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #14.1   The Elf

      No joke – I once saw someone playing the harmonica while driving.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 10:22 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #14.2   Who passed out the Haterade?

      > I didn’t say speed up, I said get the fuck out of the way…normally done by getting OUT OF THE PASSING LANE when you’re not passing, because, you know, it’s the PASSING LANE. I’d never ask anyone to drive faster than their comfort-level (or driving skill) allows. Just to move over to where they belong in the traffic flow.

      > Anyway, those of you who drive and text are assholes (at least while doing so) and you WILL hurt someone someday, hopefully only yourself. Turn it the fuck off or toss it in the backseat until your drive is over.

      Never thought I’d see the day when I’d wholeheartedly agree with CB/clumber. As much as rolling roadblockers piss me off, mobile SpaceTwits scare me even more.

      They need to revise the law to hit them with the same penalties as drunk divers – at least a drunk driver has their eyes on the frickin’ road, and will only be terminally stupid until they get home and sleep it off.

      > No joke – I once saw someone playing the harmonica while driving.

      Saw someone fapping while driving once… but I’d still feel marginally safer sharing the road with either of them than a SpaceTwit.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 10:32 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.3   quatfaux

      Don’t apologize for the bright red truck!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 2:20 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.4   The Elf

      Especially if it has a rifle rack!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 2:51 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #14.5   clumber

      If I had a rifle rack in the truck I’d be afraid someone would steal my rifle(s)!

      Besides, my new car (I still have Gpa’s truck, no worries.) is a Jeep (dark green) and it should probably be the one with gun racks. Perhaps one of those shotgun racks like the police have up front… But yeah, visible firearms is asking to get burglarized.

      I am not a fan of bright fire engine red on my cars, but I still deeply miss my gpa so I don’t diss his truck and I just about elbow-checked the Jeep dealer’s adam’s apple when he tried to strong-arm me into trading my truck in.
      I. Already. Said. NO.

      Haterade doesn’t like me? What’d I ever do to you? I have bizarre enough mixes of expressed opinions (many completely opposite of CB) and devil’s-advocacy that I would think anyone would find things to dis- and agree with several times over. Guess I’ll go curl up in the corner and sob to myself… alone…

      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:33 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.6   AuntyBron

      The gun rack ratchets up the machismo into the stratosphere, man.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:36 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.7   clumber

      Elf – at least it wasn’t bagpipes.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:36 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #14.8   park rose

      I think that Haterade might think that clumber and CB are one and the same? I know it’s not the case, but you both share some letters . . . glad Mona was okay!

      Apr 15, 2011 at 11:56 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.9   Who passed out the Haterade?

      clumber: Please note that what I said was that I was startled that I found something to wholeheartedly [i]agree with[/i] in your comment. I know that in this polarized climate, “disagree with” and “dislike (as a person)” are often considered part and parcel, but they’re not.

      As park rose noted, I have my suspicions as to whether you’re a sock of CB, though I’m not convinced of it. But they aren’t exactly allayed by your jumping to the conclusion that I feel the same way about you that CB knows I do about him.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:33 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #14.10   Canthz_B bang

      Aw, Haterade…I can feel the ♥! :mrgreen:

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:35 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.11   clumber

      Well I have two X chromosomes = boobs and nothing swinging ‘tween the legs, so it’d be difficult to be the same as CB. I live in the constantly rainy Pacific Northwest, CB not. My ancestry goes back about as boringly anglo as you can imagine. My only genetic claim to fame is that my Gma is from Australia… of course that is also terribly anglo as she is not aboriginal. Lessee… what else.. Oh CB has a website, I still don’t but will if Mona (dog) is pregnant, which she may be. CB has some assbackward opinions and he tends to go from “mildly grumpy” to “HYSTERICALLY FURIOUS” if the issue at hand tickles him just so… I am more likely to just ‘raise the middle’ at the monitor screen and move along. And actually I don’t get mad on PAN very often anyhow.

      I’m a gay female, CB is a str8 male. I would also hazard a guess that CB is taller than I am. Most likely has better fashion sense than I do, but that is a very low bar anyway.

      I strongly suspect that if ever in the same zipcode or upon meeting, CB and I would NOT get along at all and the meeting would mostly likely end with one of us taking a swing at the other. (Yes, I will be certain to offer tickets for sale if that event ever seems possible). That said I do occasionally agree with CB, just like almost anyone else here. I also occasionally think CB has either forgotten his medication, didn’t get some last night from the wife, or is just seeing how far he can push someone. Again, just like I think of anyone else here.

      Except PR and Mishee…I’ll agree with everything they say since I totally have a crush on them. I also will agree with anything Claw says but that’s because I am utterly terrified of Claw.

      ~shrug~ Of course anyone can say anything on the net, you can too. Maybe Haterade and I are the same person. Maybe I don’t exist at all and am a poorly programmed bot.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 12:45 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #14.12   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Touchee-and-a-half. m(_._)m

      Please consider accepting my apologies for my previous ass-umptions. That was eloquent, and I simply can not imagine CB saying much of the above post. Not even for “fictional” giggles to piss someone off.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:02 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #14.13   park rose

      Clumber ♥ and CB ♥ , for his stout spout ;-)

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:19 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #15   Lauri

    I love how people who want to break the law are so self-righteous and expect law abiders to oblige them. You are aware that it’s illegal to exceed the speed limit in the passing lane, right? You are only supposed to pass when the person ahead is going slower than the speed limit. I usually drive about 5 -8 mph above the limit myself but I don’t whine and tailgate when I’m behind someone doing the limit because I know I don’t have the right to complain.

    Apr 15, 2011 at 1:19 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #15.1   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Not breaking the speed limit law doesn’t excuse the fact they’re breaking the law against forming rolling roadblocks.

      If someone is not using it for passing, they need to get out of the passing lane, either by speeding up or by dropping back. It’s not against the law to drop back, though it might bruise their ego. It is against the law to refuse to drop back if they’re not going to pass.

      If a policeman sets up a rolling roadblock, I’ll be irritated – but I know they probably have a good reason for it, like “to let road crews clear debris before someone blows a tire”. If a civilian does it, there is almost certainly no good reason for it. (I don’t consider ego, spite, obliviousness, or self-righteous priggery good reasons.)

      Apr 15, 2011 at 1:52 pm   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #15.2   lagne

      Self-righteous my ass. Apparently it’s less self-righteous for you to remind others of what’s illegal (speeding) as it is for them to point out illegalities (blocking the passing lane)?

      I figure I’m about as self-righteous as someone who lectures people for speeding juuuuust before I admit to speeding.

      Call it even.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 5:16 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #15.3   se

      Lauri, self-appointed speed guardian. Your 5-8 miles over the speed limit, in the passing lane,on most limited access highways is one of the prime causes of road rage. As others have pointed out, speed up to pass or get out of the way. Let me worry about the ticket I might get.
      In fact, when you go by me pulled over by a cop, you can shoot me the finger.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 6:44 pm   rating: 14  small thumbs up

    • #15.4   Rage

      “on most limited access highways is one of the prime causes of road rage”

      Holy fuck, seriously? Even your road rage is someone else’s fault?

      There should be a mental component to the driver’s license exam.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:22 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #15.5   Canthz_B bang

      See? What did I tell you from the get-go? Self-appointed traffic regulator just popped up her ugly head.

      Now who thinks they own the road?

      Lauri (with an i), it doesn’t matter that you’re going 5 to 8 mph over the speed limit. If you’re not passing, you don’t belong in the passing lane…there is no such thing as a “fast lane”.

      If you do happen to be passing and there are cars behind you wishing to pass even faster than you happen to be, you should move over and allow them to pass at their faster rate of speed and resume your passing once they’ve gone by…not be a douchcanoe and force everyone else to abide by your chosen rate of speed.

      Common courtesy still goes a long way.

      @Rage: Yes, road rage is someone else’s fault. Who the hell do you think road-ragers are angry at…themselves?

      Apr 16, 2011 at 1:48 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #15.6   Who passed out the Haterade?

      While I do heartily agree with most of the above, it’s worth noting that “a consequence of someone else’s actions” != “someone else’s fault”. By that reasoning, every PAN ever written would be the recipient’s “fault”.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 4:06 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.7   Canthz_B bang

      Sure would. The PAN would never have been written if someone’s action did not provoke a PAN reaction.
      Similarly, there would be no road rage if no one did anything to piss other drivers off.
      I really don’t think “ragers” get into their cars in a foul mood. I actually think they love driving a great deal and just get pissed off when some numb-nuts ruins the experience for them.

      Being a considerate driver yourself will go a long way to lessening the amount of rage you see. Conversely, if you encounter a great many road-ragers, maybe you’re not the best driver in the world.
      Raging is a poor reaction, but it is in fact a reaction…not an un-triggered action.

      Think about it.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 9:22 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #15.8   Who passed out the Haterade?

      For a change, it sounds as though we simply have a difference of opinion. I’m a strong believer in everyone being responsible for their own actions no matter what: The road-ragee is responsible for doing whatever burned the road-rager, but the road-rager is responsible for how they react to it.

      To be honest, I actually tend to find “fault” to be a pretty useless concept. No matter how we’re provoked, we’re still responsible for how we react. It’s the only thing we can be responsible for, really.

      Someone who cuts me off may be responsible for being a bloody @$$hole, but that doesn’t excuse my pulling out a gun and giving them a new one.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:26 pm   rating: 13  small thumbs up

    • #15.9   Canthz_B bang

      There’s no change, Haterade, our opinions differ most times…you just decided that you have to hate CB because of that fact, while he couldn’t give a flying fuck about you. ;-)

      Apr 18, 2011 at 9:53 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.10   Who passed out the Haterade?

      *tries to stifle laughter*


      Thank you, this completely made my day. Super bonus points for referring to yourself in the third person. XD

      For reference, my dislike of you has nothing to do with your opinions. When your opinions are dumb, I’ll say so, and when they’re not, I’ll say so. It has everything to do with the fact you’re proud of how much of a dick you are, and of the fact that the long-term residents don’t generally stand up to your crap.

      Here’s a clue bat for you… it’s not because they agree with you, and it’s definitely not because they like you. It’s because you’re proud of the fact that you won’t go away no matter what anyone says, so they know it’s not worth saying anything. All the more so because they know you’ll never, ever learn because you’re too busy convincing yourself that you’re always right.

      That silence you keep hearing from the vast majority of the residents? It’s not affirmation, buddy. It’s the fact that people know you’re not worth the time.

      Unfortunately, that’s also why you keep seeing newbies challenge you once or twice and then never be heard from again (which you seem strangely proud of) – because after your abuse, they write off the whole forum. Which is a shame, because there are interesting people here to talk to.

      Apr 19, 2011 at 3:11 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.11   TickleMyBambo

      Haterade, I think both yourself and CB need to sit back and drink some Kool-aid.

      CB may have his moments of know it all obnoxiousness (side note: We all have a little know it all in us) , and yes his opinions do tend to ruffle the feathers of some PAN posters, new and regulars alike, but honestly whether we agree with him or not CB does have some insightful, and intelligent, things to say when he’s not in his asstroll mode. And it’s because of his quick wit and ability to both give to and take shit from other posters is why CB is still around and there hasn’t been a rally to remove the guy from the forums so I guess people who have the least regard for him seem to tolerate him enough to let him stay. I say all this because I can relate to CB and understand where he’s coming from thus I either roll along with his tirades or I sit back and let him do his own thing, doesn’t mean I hate the guy.. It means I both tolerate and respect him for his courage to stick to his guns and not back down, sure he can learn to ease up a bit and realize that’s he’s not always right but a good portion of the time he makes valid points.

      It’s not yours or CB’s problem if the newbies don’t want to stay around here because they can’t handle the rebuttal after challenging someone of CB’s level and realizing that they ain’t cut out for it. Clearly, Haterade, you should be proud of yourself and as well as a few others to have been able to contend with CB cause if you think about it. If nobody even tried to set him straight, he would be a lose cannon causing all kinds of forum havoc. CB needs that kind of balance and control to keep that from happening. You’re not perfect yourself, Haterade, you have moments where your comments get under peoples skin but that’s okay! Cause you too have said many things that were of value! We all have differences of opinion and yes those opinions and conflicting personalities do clash but has it stopped you both from being faithful members of the PAN community? No, and nor should it. PAN needs you guys! You’d be surprised how much you both can learn from each other :).

      All I have left to say is, if CB has been around for as long as few have said he has been. Wouldn’t you all be used to his antics by now?

      Apr 19, 2011 at 5:04 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #15.12   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I appreciate the advice. I am already well-aware that I’m self-indulgently abrasive sometimes. I’m not proud of it; I just recognize that it’s true. And I’m also quite capable of being wrong.

      I appreciate the compliment of you being willing to say this directly to me and think it’ll make a difference. But I still think it’s telling that none of this was said to CB when he first started jumping down my throat, or when I started snarking back and he kept escalating. Or when he jumps down other people’s throats on a regular basis, particularly those he perceives as vulnerable by virtue of not being a long-timer. (Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying that this is unfair – I do consider it a compliment, and appreciate you extending me the honor thereof. I just find it interesting.)

      Wrt whether “something should be done”: How the forums are managed is absolutely not my business… from modding one elsewhere, I can appreciate that 1) it’s always, always a judgement call, 2) more goes on behind the scenes than people realize, and 3) the owners have the inalienable prerogative to set whatever rules they like. I have an opinion about what cumulative attrition does when behavior is unchecked, but God knows I have no reason to assert my opinions about it are superior. As they say, opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one, and no one ever thinks that theirs stinks. (^_~)

      Apr 19, 2011 at 5:34 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.13   TickleMyBambo

      I didn’t mean to come off as if I was singling you out or anything, Haterade, I know that it doesn’t bother you but still I apologize for it coming off that way. I was only trying to help ease the tension and still try to keep a neutral ground as possible because I personally enjoy reading both of yours and CB’s posts and honestly don’t have a bone to pick. I know how it can be no fun to have someone go down your throat constantly or to see it happen to someone else and how you can not help but feel at your wits end over it. Like I mentioned before, CB appears to be the kind to stick to his guns no matter what.. Telling him to “lay off” a bit might either be heard or he might shrug it off.. Also the fact because of his stubborn determination it makes it hard to be able to find the right way to address issues concerning him without causing a big turd to stir. I say all this out of respect and hopefully I don’t offend. With yourself, I can see you as being a little more reasonable which is why most of my post was directed at you.

      I dunno, I just suck at this kind of stuff.. I’m much better at being my usual sarcastic, demeaning, and unorthodox self but I felt that by speaking up maybe something might work itself out.

      Apr 19, 2011 at 7:30 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.14   Canthz_B bang

      Well said. All I can say is that I didn’t and don’t come here to jump down anyone’s throat…I will, however defend myself when someone comes along with the sole agenda of attacking me.

      Mind you, I’m not upset by that or angered by it, but I do wish some folks would be able to tell the difference between when “CB” is up to his old trick and when “I” actually have an opinion about something.

      Most times all you’re getting is the “CB” alter ego…sometimes not.

      Either way, it’s the internet, I don’t know any of you personally and I don’t hate any of you personally. I’m not beholden to anyone here, as no one here pays my bills. I most assuredly do not speculate about how a personal meeting between any of you and myself would go, because as I said, none of us knows the true self of any other of us…just internet personalities for the most part, though I suspect we’d have a few cold ones and some really interesting debates because I don’t think anyone here is evil and many are more than a little well-educated and thoughtful.
      I respect Kerry, and try not to get out-of-bounds. If and when she’s had enough of me, she will block me.
      You can say that there are many people who read this site and dislike me, but you can say that about all of us and still be only telling half of the story. There are also a lot of people who enjoy my “antics”…and yours as well.
      That’s entertainment. Hell, the French like Jerry Lewis! LOL

      More often than not, I’m just telling jokes about the notes until someone decides to fuck with me (Oh, you post too much! Oh, I don’t like your jokes! Oh, you must not have a life! and other nonsense of that type that I’m sure you’ve seen before**), so I defend myself as I defend others who are attacked for no good reason. I could just say “Who the fuck asked for your opinion”…but where’s the fun in that? :lol:
      Is it my fault that I happen to be able to handle that kind of occasional assault without being a shrinking violet?
      And if you know it’s not going to drive me away…why bother?

      And I don’t plan to change. ;-)

      **For example, look directly below at Lauren’s comment. Did I fuck with Lauren to get that post up there? No. Did I fuck with Lauren after she posted it? Call her names? Besmirch her virtue? No.

      Oh, wait!! I stand corrected. It looks as if that may have been a hissy fit over #7.4-#7.5 because I called her an idiot after she wrongly assumed that I tailgate and called me a douche-bag. Anyway, it’s a good case in point…I really don’t pay much attention to such things and totally forgot about her calling me a name because I really couldn’t care less. She held a grudge and I moved on.
      It’s no skin off my banana, as my sister used to say.

      Apr 19, 2011 at 10:01 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.15   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I dunno, I just suck at this kind of stuff.. I’m much better at being my usual sarcastic, demeaning, and unorthodox self but I felt that by speaking up maybe something might work itself out.

      Not at all. Not being able to keep peace between Mr. Rock and Mr. Hard Place, but still managing to quiet things down, is worth praise for even trying – let alone having a modicum of success. And to expand on what I said earlier, nothing about your choice to respond to me upset me, in fact, I really did appreciate the compliment. I’m just not that great at showing it, unfortunately.

      I will, however defend myself when someone comes along with the sole agenda of attacking me.

      Oh no, CB, you caught me! I never thought anyone would see through my ploy of answering Do they think a cat has anywhere near the intelligence of a 6 year-old human? with Actually, yes. Not that I think highly of the intelligence of cats, just that I don’t think most humans are nearly as “intelligent” as they give themselves credit for. as a cleverly hidden attack on you (rather than a joke about most 6-year-olds not being smarter than the average cat). Fortunately, you did and immediately… ahem, “defend[ed] yourself” with the plea for understanding of Grow the fuck up!

      (For the sarcasm-impaired, here’s a translation: If you’re going to lie your face off, it’s best to avoid doing so when there’s a public record of what you ~actually~ said.)

      Wrt your “alter ego” or “persona” which allows you to gleefully piss on other people for the fun of seeing how they react – do you really not know what the meaning of “troll” is in modern Internet parlance?

      Apr 19, 2011 at 11:42 pm   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.16   Canthz_B bang

      Don’t remember that one, perhaps there was more said than that in both of our posts which would shed some light, because CB wouldn’t say “Grow the fuck up” unless something more childish than what you say you said had been offered up. But if that is all there was, then the attack wasn’t so “cleverly hidden” was it?…and it was an unprovoked attack on your part to which CB responded…no, with no plea for understanding because none would have been warranted. Sorry, but neither I nor CB come crawling for understanding anymore than anyone else here does. But I do wonder what it is about me that would allow you to expect such a thing in the first place…hmm…any thoughts while I shuffle the cards? :lol:
      Your not so “cleverly hidden attack” was responded to in kind. WTF did you expect? Did you think CB would skulk away in tears over your withering wit and cunning? That you’re oh so clever that the dumb twit wouldn’t get it?
      Thanks for backing up my point. CB hardly ever attacks first.
      You admit that you tried to “cleverly” hide an attack on CB and he saw through the sham of it and told you to grow the fuck up. But CB didn’t hit you first. Thanks, but don’t be butt-hurt over it…you started it according to what you’ve supplied. So who’s supposed to be the troll here again? Not that that’s a bad thing, I have plenty of loyal trolls and you are but one of a number caught in the gravity well of the mass that is CB. Spiral in, orbit or break free, but never forget that you’re following me around here, I’m not following you, Haterade. :lol:
      Maybe you’ll be so kind as to supply a link so we can all see the public record to which you refer, because I honestly cannot remember the exchange verbatim, and seeing the exchange in its entirety may be helpful, no? But really, ya gotta learn to get over this crap and move on.
      None of it is supposed to be taken too personally, and feuds are for hillbillies.

      If you insist that that exchange (if that’s the entirety of it) is what you base your feelings upon, all I can say is…see earlier advice. ;-)

      It would be awfully hard to say I have nothing to offer after agreeing with me about driving, wouldn’t it? Some troll that would make me! :lol:

      Way to pick out one sentence (out of context without the prefacing statement supplied, which is why I’d like to see all that was said in our aforementioned exchange, as making a habit of selective editing does not engender trust) of a rather lengthy post with which to take exception though. Well done, maybe this way my last post will not be read in full and the full meaning of it will be forever lost on others as it has apparently been lost on you.

      Apr 19, 2011 at 11:57 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.17   Who passed out the Haterade?

      You don’t even know which of your trolls it was, but you’re sure that you (or rather your alternate personality “CB” ) didn’t say it? Sorry, but your comment here says otherwise. Show me where I “attacked” you prior to this post, I’d love to see it.

      Then you go on a rant which doesn’t even relate except in a word-salady fashion? =/

      Nice attempt to play the “I’m crazy so don’t eff with me man” card, but I’ve dealt with crazier people than you’re pretending to be. Have fun continuing to try, though.

      Apr 20, 2011 at 5:12 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.18   Canthz_B bang

      How can I remember which troll it ever is? There are so many, and they are so varied. The price of fame you may someday have to pay. ;-)

      Never said I didn’t say it. Where do you get these things from? I said I wouldn’t say it unless there was a reason to say it (“…CB wouldn’t say “Grow the fuck up” unless …”).
      Try reading, it helps here.

      You’ve already admitted to the supposedly clever attack in your previous post (or have you forgotten “cleverly hidden attack on you (rather than a joke about most 6-year-olds not being smarter than the average cat)” so soon?), but thanks for posting the link that shows that I was dealing with someone else and you came to me, not the other way ’round.

      Show you where you attacked me prior to that post? Why? This is the post wherein you attacked me. Why the hell would I have to find a prior example? You think I need you to attack more than once before I respond? That there’s a level of shit I must take before striking back?
      Well, there isn’t. I’ll strike back whenever I’m of a mood to do so, and laugh back when that’s the mood that strikes me. There’s no predicting it, so just take it as it comes as I do…like most of this page where you attacked and I gave responses such as “Aw, Haterade, I can feel the ♥” and left the situation alone even as you continued to spout off about what you happen to not like about me…but I’m the troll, right? “Wrt your “alter ego” or “persona” which allows you to gleefully piss on other people for the fun of seeing how they react – do you really not know what the meaning of “troll” is in modern Internet parlance?” do you really want to play Pots and Kettles Mr./Ms. cleverly hidden attack?

      In the interest of context, and more importantly of setting the record straight on this matter, what I said to you was not a simple “Grow the fuck up” as you would have had us believe above, in a childishly disingenuous fashion I might add (“Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”)
      What I said was:

      “Okay, let’s say some of these people care about their cats’ happiness and love them as family members…would they let their 6 year-old child run loose in the streets all day without supervision, or would they say that would be unsafe for a child? Do they think a cat has anywhere near the intelligence of a 6 year-old human?”
      You followed as your first post on the thread with your “hidden attack” as you call it: “Actually, yes. Not that I think highly of the intelligence of cats, just that I don’t think most humans are nearly as “intelligent” as they give themselves credit for,

      Then, and only then, I responded:

      “I applaud your advocacy, but mix in a little bit of perspective. Those comments are JOKES. Grow the fuck up!”

      You took nothing from my applauding your advocacy for stray animals, nothing from my basically asking you to chill out just a bit, and nothing from my pointing out that what you were upset about were mere jokes.
      You just got butt-hurt because I advised you to grow the fuck up?!
      What kind of sick motherfucker takes a snippet of a comment so to heart that they cannot see the rest of it and happily agrees that someone else must be off their meds?

      Well, please do so (gtfu). That wasn’t all that bad of a piece of advice. I hope you’ll take it…or the meds.

      I see your habit of focusing on only one part of what was said and using it out of context remains in place. Sorry I didn’t remember the thread or our spat, but, as I said, I really don’t pay much mind to these things. You’re just not that important in my life…no hard feelings about that I hope.

      Here’s a hint for ya, Sparky…if you think I’m such a troll, maybe it’s best not to feed my ginormous ego. ;-)

      I guess I’ll close with a bit of wisdom from…surprise!!…you…:

      “As they say, opinions are like a-holes. Everyone has one, and no one ever thinks that theirs stinks. (^_~)”

      Apr 20, 2011 at 6:14 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.19   Who passed out the Haterade?

      So much for reading skills. Not only was I blatantly sarcastic, I overtly told you that I was being sarcastic when I said “Oh no, CB, you caught me! I never thought anyone would see through my ploy of answering… as a cleverly hidden attack on you (rather than a joke about most 6-year-olds not being smarter than the average cat)…. For the sarcasm-impaired, here’s a translation: If you’re going to lie your face off, it’s best to avoid doing so when there’s a public record of what you ~actually~ said.

      What do you read, out of that entire passage? Only the five words you want to see: ZOMG XOMG XOMH!1!!! You admitted you attacked me, see see see you said “cleverly hidden attack on you”. That proves it1!!1

      Then you go on to try to spin yourself into orbit, re-interpreting your “Grow the fuck up” in a childishly disingenuous fashion as somehow meaning “Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?”

      Ah, if only Joseph Welsh had your intelligence. He could have shortened himself considerably if only he had known “Grow the fuck up” actually means “Have you no sense of decency sir, at long last? Have you left no sense of decency?” It’s too bad he couldn’t be as compassionate and civil as you, because I’m sure McCarthy (or anyone) would have fallen to his knees in gratitude for such sage, profound advice as “Grow the fuck up”. Too bad that you have me instead, who misunderstands those wonderful words of wisdom as an insult.

      Why do I keep responding to you, CB? The same reason everyone else comes to this site – to be amused by astoundingly dumb behavior. In this case, watching you try to squirm out of an outrageous lie by redefining up as down in seven different ways. Please, continue. XD

      Apr 20, 2011 at 9:34 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.20   Canthz_B bang

      WTF? That’s just creepy how you got that out of what I said. :lol:

      I was saying “have you no decency” because you tried to make it seem as though all I said to you was “Grow the fuck up” and didn’t originally provide the entire statement or any context…thereby painting me in the harshest possible light. I never tried to link the two phrases in any way shape or form. The phrase came to mind only because Joseph McCarthy would often take something someone said, use it out of context and use that to accuse them of being a Commie, but at no time did I ever attempt to even remotely make it seem like “grow the fuck up” was meant to mean “have you no decency”…”Grow the fuck up” was purely and simply meant to mean “GROW THE FUCK UP”…no hidden agenda there.

      I really can’t see how you get to trying to spin anything into anything else unless you’re just into conspiracy theories.

      You accuse me of lies, but post pieces of comments out of context to give false impressions and call that truth.

      Apr 21, 2011 at 5:47 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.21   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Mr. Pot, meet Mr. Kettle. The “context” that you claimed meant “Grow the fuck up” was actually an eloquent plea for understanding (rather than a base insult) doesn’t even come close. You then turn around and do the equivalent of quoting “Only an idiot would think the earth is flat” as “Look, look, he said the earth is flat’!”, and this time you don’t even pretend to defend what is functionally yet another blatant lie… but you keep claiming you’re the innocent victim. You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.

      More fun with quotes… would care to explain why my horrible attack on you immediately following the debated posts (that was sarcasm again, though that won’t stop you from immediately claiming the new blatant lie of “Look, look, he admitted to making ‘a horrible attack’ on me!”) of

      You didn’t ask for studies, you asked what people think.

      If you want links for my assertion of fact, here you go: (linkspam)

      supposedly justified this innocent, polite, taken-out-of-context response from you? (emphasis added)

      Didn’t ask about animal abuse statistics…asked about whether or not cats are as smart as 6 year-old human children. Really a very simple question for a sane person to answer.

      Did you fuck up research papers like this in school too?
      Maybe you have been spending too much time with animals, Dr. Doolittle! :-P

      Pay attention, you’re being blinded by your animal advocacy…and reacting like one.

      Apr 21, 2011 at 6:25 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

    • #15.22   Canthz_B bang

      No, I didn’t claim that, but you can continue to try to twist my words and assume alternate meanings all you like.
      It was meant as an insult because you were getting all bent out of shape over jokes then, shall we say, “questioned” my intelligence.
      I recognized and applauded your animal advocacy, but advised you to chill out because what you read here is mostly jokes…then I told you to grow the fuck up because you questioned my belief in my intelligence. Had you not said what you said about my intelligence, I wouldn’t have told you to grow the fuck up. You get what you pay for, so get over it.

      That’s really very straightforward, I don’t know why you insist it’s supposed to mean any more than it does.
      I don’t understand why you insist everything I say has some hidden meaning as part of some vast web of information manipulation…like I’m the villain in some 1960′s TV show, but I assure you, I am not The Riddler.
      However, if you insist upon hanging stubbornly on to negative feelings over something so far in the past, you can continue to do so.

      No skin off my banana…I’m not the one trying to prove they’re the victim. ;-)

      Apr 21, 2011 at 6:44 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #15.23   Who passed out the Haterade?

      you questioned my belief in my intelligence

      Wow. You keep changing your story too fast for me to keep up. First it was justified because I “attacked” you first, then it was an innocent plea to show decency, now you admit it’s an insult but are back to trying to pretend that I “attacked” you first.

      Where the heck do you get this one from? I wasn’t saying anything to or about you or your intelligence in that post, unless you’re a 6-year-old or a cat. (Which one is it?)

      Unless you think I specifically meant you when I said “most humans”? If you seriously imagine that a stranger who talks in general terms about society must be specifically thinking about you… that’s just sad, not amusing.

      C’mon, it’s a lot more fun when you’re mind-bogglingly outrageous. Tepidly dumb and vaguely paranoid are boring.

      Apr 21, 2011 at 9:59 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.24   Canthz_B bang

      It was never a “plea” for anything…you’ve insist that’s what it was, not I…and they’re my words, from my mouth (fingers), so I think I may know what I meant by them just a little bit better than you.

      I’ve told you quite clearly and in no uncertain terms a number of times above that I intended insult…and insult you I did, you’ve proven that quite well. Mission accomplished.
      Is that so hard to accept?

      No matter what it was, it’s really about time you got over it, don’t you think? After all, you’re not above tossing out an insult or two yourself.

      Apr 22, 2011 at 8:52 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.25   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Dude, whatever. You’re free to live in whatever imaginary world makes you happiest. I almost envy you your ability to create one as amusing as this one was.

      Apr 22, 2011 at 7:01 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #15.26   Canthz_B bang

      And many blessings unto you as well as we share the imaginary world which is PAN and much of the rest of the internet.

      Apr 23, 2011 at 1:14 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #15.27   Canthz_B bang

      In conclusion…and this is going to be sweet..more of your own words you might try living by, unless you’re a hypocrite:

      “No matter how we’re provoked, we’re still responsible for how we react.”

      Tell me, how have you reacted my to provocations? Name calling, degrading comments, total disrespect, half truths, misrepresentations, made-up imaginary meanings and an unabashed expression of dislike, hatred even. All internet equivalents of road rage. Who again do you say is responsible for your actions and reactions? I think you said that would be you (“No matter how we’re provoked, we’re still responsible for how we react.”), so shifting blame to me just kind of makes you look silly. Surely doesn’t make you any better than bad old CB, now does it?

      Someone told you off. So what?! Get over it, people tell me off on the site all the time, and yes, grow the fuck up. Don’t let it hurt your feelings.

      Your own words did it, as these things so often PAN out.

      Don’t be mad at me, I just let the line play out. I enjoy exposing hypocrites any chance I get, and am not above doing a little baiting to get them to expose themselves. You took hook, line and sinker and got pulled into the boat. Get over it. That’s what happens to my trolls.

      Which reminds me, I have to get ready for a fishing trip this weekend! ;-)

      May 12, 2011 at 4:38 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #15.28   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I’ve reacted to you with unprovoked namecalling and nastiness? As I’ve said, feel free to keep living in your imaginary world. Giving up on rebutting me and just repeating the same thing over and over (even though I’ve shown point-by-point that it’s a bald-faced lie) won’t make it any less of a lie.

      I don’t know whether you’re a right-wing zealot, but you’ve got their “When you’re guilty of something, scream as loud and as often as you can that someone else did it” act pretty much down pat. A right-wing zealot, or one of the 6-year-olds you’re so fond of.

      May 30, 2011 at 8:23 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #16   Lauren

    Can we post a screen shot of all of Canthz_B’s comments as one giant PAN?

    Apr 15, 2011 at 7:41 pm   rating: 9  small thumbs up

    • #16.1   TickleMyBambo

      Wait, CB posts are being considered as PAN? When in actuality they are quite realistic and hilarious.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:30 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.2   Nunavut Guy

      As long as he can hover over us as a thong clad hologram I’m in.

      Apr 15, 2011 at 8:34 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.3   lagne

      *has no idea what CB looks like, but quivered at “thong clad hologram”*

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:10 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.4   TickleMyBambo

      Why thong clad? Why can’t CB be naked?.. Might as well go all out, right? lol

      Apr 15, 2011 at 9:40 pm   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.5   Canthz_B bang

      I’m already hovering above the site at all times.
      You must but have Faith to see me, My Children…and the special eyeglasses.

      *note to self: get those special glasses into the mail asap*

      Apr 16, 2011 at 1:54 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.6   misstech

      CB is an asshole, know-it-all and very nerve racking. He should get a grip on reality and take a hard look at himself. Maybe then he might see his down falls and faults.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 2:33 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #16.7   Canthz_B bang

      If I’m a know-it-all, then don’t I already know all of my faults? Why bother looking for them again? :-P

      Here’s a clue…just because someone chooses to only speak when he knows what he’s talking about and avoid those subjects about which he is ignorant does not make him a know-it-all. It makes him a knows-what-he’s-talking-about-and-knows-when-to-stay-out.
      Is one of my faults that I happen to be just a bit well-rounded and able to weigh in on a variety of subjects competently? That means the same should go for everyone else who thinks they know shit from Shinola around here, right? Well, okay then:

      ATTENTION EVERYONE…KNOWING STUFF IS HEREBY BANNED AT PAN!!!! Logical thinking is similarly prohibited!!!…
      See how I said “stuff” like that? Really stupid sounding, huh? See, I can do this!

      Given that CB is a fictional character most of the time, I doubt that any reality-gripping will be done in the near future.

      Did you text this from the passing lane? Is that why “downfalls” was posted as two words…because you briefly looked up at the road? WTF does that mean anyway, “down falls”? Is that downriver of Niagara?
      Pay attention to your text…NO!! Pay attention to the road!!!

      Apr 16, 2011 at 2:47 am   rating: 12  small thumbs up

    • #16.8   lagne

      *wondering if “nerve racking” is at all similar to “nerve-wracking,” but unsure, as I have never placed my own personal nerves on a rack for any reason.*

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:35 am   rating: 11  small thumbs up

    • #16.9   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Yeah, geez, what could those crazy people have been thinking? Being someone who “knows what he’s talking about” whereas anyone he disagrees with only “thinks they know shit from Shinola” does not make one a know-it-all, prick, @$$hole, or anything else other than… well, CB.

      Given that CB is a fictional character most of the time, I doubt that any reality gripping will be done in the near future.

      Did anyone keep the banner and party decorations from the last “coming out” party? This is refreshingly non-passive-aggressive, and deserves some celebration. From what I hear, the first step to breaking an addiction cycle (such as trolling) is to admit that it exists.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:48 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #16.10   Canthz_B bang

      Trolls don’t stay around for almost four years. They pop in every now and again to stir a turd and think they can leave a bad taste in your mouth like drinking Haterade does.

      And I never said that anyone else I disagree with only thinks they know shit from Shinola…now did I? I too think I know shit from Shinola.
      What I said was that thinking that you know what you’re talking about does not make one a know-it-all.

      Otherwise, what would that make Haterade (who dislikes someone he/she doesn’t even know), or any of us for that matter?

      Who posts here knowing that they don’t know what they’re talking about?
      They may be right, they may be wrong, but everyone thinks they’re right.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 9:05 am   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.11   Who passed out the Haterade?

      You just admitted to taking “fictional” positions and to cheerfully pissing on/off the residents who you just insulted, and you call me a troll by comparison?

      I believe that’s what they call chutzpah.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 10:27 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.12   Canthz_B bang

      Ha! Call it what you will. I call it a “persona”.

      Just like the one you created to spout about what/who you hate. ;-)

      No position is wholly fictional, though the “person” arguing said position may just be a character on the internet. An open-minded person can argue either side of any argument. A closed-minded person cannot.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:02 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #16.13   misstech

      @lagne- What kind of name is that and shut the fuck up. Mind your damn business.
      @CB – I don’t care how you color it, you are still an asshole.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.14   Canthz_B bang

      What’s my color have to do with it?

      *Obligatory Race Card playing accomplished on my part! :lol:

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:53 am   rating: 15  small thumbs up

    • #16.15   Rawr

      Folks like misstech make me doubt both evolution and creationism.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 12:34 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.16   lagne

      HA!! The joy of an anonymous poster telling another anonymous poster on a public website to mind her own damn business. Thanks, misstech! (and by the way, what the fuck kind of name is THAT?)

      Apr 16, 2011 at 2:23 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #16.17   Nunavut Guy

      16.14 was biblical…………….You black bastard.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 8:28 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #16.18   Canthz_B bang

      Nunavut, haven’t you heard? I’m not a bastard…I’m an asstroll*!

      *in the interest of brevity, certain terms have been combined

      Apr 17, 2011 at 12:14 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #16.19   TickleMyBambo

      *Giggles at the word “Brevity”*

      A know it all asstroll who practices forms of brevity.. You sir are a master of your art!

      Apr 17, 2011 at 1:02 pm   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #16.20   lagne

      I wish there were reasons to use the word “asstroll” in real life that wouldn’t get me shot or sued.

      Apr 17, 2011 at 8:48 pm   rating: 7  small thumbs up

  • #17   bowloftoast bang

    What kind of sick, inconsiderate, disrespectful, self-centred asshole names their kid ‘Fletcher’?

    Apr 16, 2011 at 12:47 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #17.1   lagne

      Yeah, but the name “Fletcher” makes me think of “Liar Liar,” which makes me giggle a little bit.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 1:59 am   rating: 0  small thumbs up

    • #17.2   Who passed out the Haterade?

      Could be worse. I saw a party invitation just the other day from a “Brittni”. No, I’m not kidding.

      (They apparently inherited their behavioral genes from the naming parent… it was a “Hey we got married last year and didn’t invite you but now you can come to this and bring us wedding presents” party invitation. The icing on the cake? It was being held in a shoe repair store. XD )

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:59 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #17.3   bowloftoast bang

      lagne: It makes me (and I’m sure at least a dozen merciless kids at his high school) think of ‘felcher’ – poor dude.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 4:16 am   rating: 3  small thumbs up

  • #18   pwrof3

    To everyone talking about “passing lanes”. Here in Los Angeles our freewyas have no passing lanes. What do you suggest then? We need all of our lanes as we all creep along the parking lots we call freeways.

    Apr 16, 2011 at 1:42 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #18.1   Canthz_B bang


      Apr 16, 2011 at 1:55 am   rating: 7  small thumbs up

    • #18.2   lagne

      Well, if you’re stuck in “parking lot” traffic, the whole thing is moot. Nobody can get up enough meaningful speed to pass anyone else for any good reason, so who cares? :-)

      The last few miles of my commute are like that, too; four miles takes 25 minutes. Maddening.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 1:58 am   rating: 6  small thumbs up

    • #18.3   Canthz_B bang

      I avoid that mess altogether. If I’m going in to work later (we have flex time), I take surface streets for my 10 mile commute.
      The freeway is not free enough after 7:00am or so, and Route 60 was designed by a sadistic SOB of a civil engineer!
      At my entrance, I’d have to cross three lanes of traffic to my left just to get into the first right-hand lane that wouldn’t be an exit only lane in less than a mile. Four to get out of the way of traffic entering the roadway a half-mile after that. All the while avoiding the (here it comes) idiots who wait until the last minute to try to move to their right to their exits.


      Apr 16, 2011 at 2:05 am   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #18.4   Who passed out the Haterade?

      All the while avoiding the (here it comes) idiots who wait until the last minute to try to move to their right to their exits.

      My sincere sympathies. They and their cousins, the people who will move to the right to get into an exit-only lane that’s moving faster – then stall traffic behind them by jamming on their brakes to jump back in just before the exit – are as close as I can think of to being a legitimate reason for road rage.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 7:41 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #18.5   clumber

      Sigh… Yer all describing my mother’s driving in this little friendly thread. She also insists that you must never turn your directional signal on until you’ve already started into the lane because if you do, “They’ll know what you’re going to do and then take your spot!”

      This from a woman who grew up in : Montana. I hazard to guess she has never once driven in LA, SLC, or NY, NY. I have no idea why she thinks it is wrong to let the other drivers know what you are about to do.

      Yes, we insist on driving whenever we find ourselves trapped in a vehicle with her for any reason.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 12:53 pm   rating: 8  small thumbs up

    • #18.6   Who passed out the Haterade?

      I’ve actually done the same wrt not turning on a directional signal until making the change since moving to the Pac NW. Partly because I’ve seen people driving as your mother hypothesizes, but mostly because I don’t want to be one of the @$$holes that “demands” that other people get out of the way to accommodate my lane change.

      But after your comments, I think I’ll reconsider that rationale and do it only when it’s for the latter reason.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 3:12 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

  • #19   chesire cat

    Win for Fletcher!

    Apr 16, 2011 at 7:07 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #20   Uh

    Regarding the passing issue… In Michigan, you have a few options on the highway:
    1) Stay in the right lane the whole trip. Because the right lane is perpetually filled with slow moving semis, you’ll be going around 60mph the whole way there.
    2) Stay in the left lane the whole trip. This requires you to do at least 80 to keep people from passing you on the right (and there are still times that people doing 90 will pass you).
    3) Stay primarily in the right lane, using the left lane only to pass. This is technically the “legal” way to do things, but because of the aforementioned semis, this leaves you swerving in and out of traffic constantly.
    4) Stay primarily in the left lane, moving over into the right lane when someone quicker is coming up behind you. This is generally the tactic I use, and the tactic that I see most other drivers use. It’s common courtesy to let the faster person pass you.

    I like the legal way in theory, but it just doesn’t work when there’s so many semis on the highway.

    Apr 16, 2011 at 8:15 am   rating: 5  small thumbs up

    • #20.1   TippingCows

      Yeah for two lanes the legal way sure is a pain. I do the #4 as well – I certainly miss highways that are over 2 lanes.

      Apr 16, 2011 at 11:19 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

  • #21   aaa bang

    So tell me everyone, how do you all feel about lactating while driving? And are your feelings on this matter changed depending on whether the cat is inside or outside the house?

    Apr 17, 2011 at 3:06 pm   rating: 4  small thumbs up

    • #21.1   clumber

      Lactating cats inside the car makes the steering wheel slippery, causing the driver to tailgate.

      Apr 17, 2011 at 4:26 pm   rating: 2  small thumbs up

    • #21.2   lagne


      (*evidenced by any mention of gender or gender-related characteristics in any context for any reason anywhere anytime ever forever amen. See comment 3.1 et al for clarification.)

      Apr 17, 2011 at 8:51 pm   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.3   clumber

      lagne, me or aaa? Cuz’ I am a gay female, so hating women is not usually presumed to be among my many failings….

      Just checking, Felinogynist jerk maybe? We have 3 annoying edge-of-evil cats, 2 born XX, 1 XY all 3 no longer with functioning -gyn parts… Hmmm… No idea where i was going with this. Must be bedtime.

      Apr 18, 2011 at 1:03 am   rating: 1  small thumbs up

    • #21.4   lagne

      Well, if you have to ask….

      :D Just kidding.. the “misogyinist” mini-discussion in the beginning of the comments struck me as completely absurd, so I was just spreading the absurdity.

      Apr 18, 2011 at 10:58 am   rating: 2  small thumbs up


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