Our submitter’s friend in Columbia, Missouri found this on the ground beneath a tree yesterday, “and she couldn’t just leave it there. It really was the perfect tree for climbing.”
(And the accompanying note really does have the perfect rhythm for a call-a-response revival stomp, no? I’d love to see what the Gregory Brothers could do with this…)
UPDATE: The Sneaky Mister has made my year!
related: Grow some thicker bark, why donttcha?
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88 responses so far ↓
#1
Blah
First
Apr 21, 2011 at 9:28 am rating: 2
#2
Blah
Double post FTW!
Apr 21, 2011 at 9:29 am rating: 3
#3
quapaw
Put a Snake on it
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:00 am rating: 1
#4
shwo!
Notes get torn away and lost so easily. If you want this to be more permanent, carve it into the tree.
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:14 am rating: 17
#5
QBALL
umm isn’t that what GOD made trees for? Seriously is the tree made of some OMG this is the last tree on earth or is it simply some crotchety old geezer pissed because kids are peeking in on the mid-afternoon sex romp in the attic
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:17 am rating: 5
#6
Jordie
It really makes you wonder what the circumstances surrounding it are, doesn’t it? …Maybe the tree wrote it.
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:20 am rating: 11
#7
careerwaitress
“blah” should go climb a tree.
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:23 am rating: 9
#8
purslane
This note wasn’t that bad. It’s sad, but these days, if you don’t leave a note like this and Little Precious gets a boo boo falling out of the tree, guess who the parents are going to sue? They certainly aren’t going to take responsibility for watching their own kids, so it must be the tree owner’s fault for having such a dangerous, tempting item in their yard.
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:43 am rating: 27
#9
Katherine
Polly Wolly Doodle.
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:49 am rating: 2
#10
Julie Xu
Even if you are climbing on the tree
– Please Do Not Climb On The Tree
Even if you are about to die from not climbing trees
– Please Do Not Climb On The Tree
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:57 am rating: 17
#11
e
I want to see a picture of the tree!
Apr 21, 2011 at 11:05 am rating: 14
#12
Bcteagirl
Reminds me of when they put up a ‘no organized play’ sign in the *local park*. Apparently some of the yuppie mothers were concerned that people were throwing balls around their precious children. That particular sign did not last long either.
Apr 21, 2011 at 11:10 am rating: 18
#13
me
Why was this posted so high in the tree? Now I can’t get down.
Apr 21, 2011 at 11:48 am rating: 30
#14
Quite Contrary
What if all the other kids are climbing the tree?
Apr 21, 2011 at 11:51 am rating: 3
#15
noah
dayenu!
Apr 21, 2011 at 12:02 pm rating: 6
#16
Muay Thai Los Angeles
Even if there is a bear, please don’t climb the tree. Even though a tree was cut down so I could write this note, please don’t climb the tree.
Apr 21, 2011 at 12:30 pm rating: 8
#17
Car Title Loans
I think someone should climb the tree in protest. What better way to stick it to a catchy letter by an anonymous writer than sitting around waiting for them to return and get angry?
Apr 21, 2011 at 12:43 pm rating: 4
#18
djinn
I’m from Columbia, I feel the need to find that tree and climb it, and then maybe find some friends and we can all climb it together… and then maybe they’ll tell some friends…
Apr 21, 2011 at 12:59 pm rating: 5
#19
pony girl
I just don’t like how they wrote on the tree. Do people say that? Don’t they just say, “Don’t climb the tree.” ??
(side note) How does one punctuate the above sentence correctly? That’s always given me trouble, the whole sentence in quotes is a statement, but it is part of a question thing.
Anyways, I’m team find the tree, climb it, take a photo and leave it on tree for note-writer to find, and have all my friends do the same.
Apr 21, 2011 at 1:50 pm rating: 4
#20
pony girl
I hardly think this note is necessary. Hardly anyone goes outside anymore. Most kids are too busy playing Wii or texting or looking for boobies on the internet to even bother with a silly old tree.
Apr 21, 2011 at 1:56 pm rating: 16
#21
GhostWriter
The way you solve this little problem is by removing any tree branches below ten feet.
Apr 21, 2011 at 3:15 pm rating: 2
#22
Mrs.Beasley
I’m going out on a limb here. I think the note was written by the Tree’s owner/caretaker. I think the owner/caretaker has good reason not to want anyone to climb the Tree. Maybe the branches break easily and a climber can get hurt. Maybe the Tree is sick and can’t stand the strain of climbing. Maybe climbing the Tree leads to a bird’s-eye view into somebody’s bathroom window. Whatever the reason, if I saw a note like that I might take a picture of it, but I wouldn’t have removed it from the Tree. It’s too cool. And it says “please” six times.
Apr 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm rating: 10
#23
Goldie
One day, as usual, Ratatosk the magical squirrel scurried up Yggdrasil, the giant World Tree, to deliver an urgent message to Viddenir, the eagle at the top of the tree, from Nidhogg, the root-gnawing dragon.
Halfway up, Ratatosk saw this note, felt ashamed, scurried down the tree, and went home. With no more messages being delivered, chaos ensued, end eventually, the world ended.
Hope you can live with yourself after this, notewriter.
Apr 21, 2011 at 7:23 pm rating: 13
#24
Just a thought
Maybe this tree is on private property & when the kids climbing the tree fall, the homeowner is concerned that they will get hurt and their parents will sue the homeowner?
Apr 21, 2011 at 8:10 pm rating: 0
#25
Snaz
I can’t be certain, but I’d be willing to bet money (or really good pizza), that this particular tree is in Peace Park. The Earth Day celebration just happened in Columbia on Monday and there’s one tree that always has a couple dozen kids, drunks, hippies, etc in its branches that day. This year it was orange-fenced off with a note of some kind on the fencing, but I didn’t go over to inspect the note. The orange fencing seemed clear enough to me.
Apr 21, 2011 at 9:46 pm rating: 3
#26
Worker 11811
Do not climb it with a mouse.
Do not climb it in a house.
Do not climb it here or there.
Do not climb it anywhere.
No, you must not climb this tree!
Do not climb it, Sam I am!
Apr 21, 2011 at 10:07 pm rating: 9
#27
sonny bishop
Thank you, Chuck Norris. But next time kick harder, it’s still spewing.
Apr 22, 2011 at 9:52 am rating: 0
#28
You Know
All we are sayinggg… is give tree climbing a chance
Apr 22, 2011 at 10:33 am rating: 2
#29
Dorothy
Gee, my dad always loved it when the neighbor kids would climb the trees in his yard. Gave him great practice with his pellet gun…
Apr 22, 2011 at 1:30 pm rating: 2
#30
treedweller
why does everyone assume this is directed at kids? I climb trees with great frequency, and I am 43.
Apr 22, 2011 at 9:50 pm rating: 2
#31
havingfitz
“And the tree was…actually pretty pissed off.”
Apr 22, 2011 at 10:09 pm rating: 0
#32
Canthz_B
They recently did a story on National Public Radio about a number of the early works of Theodor Geisel being released for publication by a collector, but I’ll bet he didn’t have this one!
Apr 23, 2011 at 3:22 am rating: 4
#33
*ing
The Sneaky Mister wrote a song about climbing on this tree! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cxyVJFYjkQ8
May 7, 2011 at 1:32 pm rating: 3
#34
sara
I’m curious as to why the title is “dont climb da tree”… The note was written in standard english. I didnt realize we were supposed to be making fun of XXXX ppl? silly me -___-
May 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm rating: 0
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