“My neighbor taped this note to my door,” says Valerie in Portland. “I don’t know who scratched her car, but I do know she could benefit from spell check.” (Harumph.)
![Attn. Val...Please do not park next to our car as we keep Finding Key marks now dents in my doors, as you don't watch your Kids! I will make a claim if this persists if you even have insurence [sic]...Please respect, thank you!](http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5019/5580068877_47d2b63456.jpg "Attn. Val...Please do not park next to our car as we keep Finding Key marks now dents in my doors, as you don't watch your Kids! I will make a claim if this persists if you even have insurence [sic]...Please respect, thank you!")
related: Unattended children will be shot.
Sure, blame it on the kids
April 24th, 2011 · 175 comments
FILED UNDER: car · kids · neighbors · parking · Portland
175 responses so far ↓
#1
angelive07
What a huge bitch!
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm rating: 17
#2
AMoparGirl
She spelled ONE word wrong.
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm rating: 57
#3
fuzzbutt
have the kids leave some bologna on her car on a hot summer day…
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:40 pm rating: 7
#4
Jwu
Seems like it would be easier if she just stopped parking next to Val. She wouldn’t have even had to write the note.
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:43 pm rating: 51
#5
Ryoko
Sounds like the note writer should suck it up and move her own car if she has a problem.
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:45 pm rating: 27
#6
Rebekah
If it were that bad I woulda filed the damned claim by now.
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:52 pm rating: 8
#7
purslane
Once when my daughter was about a year old, some guy almost ran us over in a parking lot. He parked a little ways down from us, looked over and made eye contact, and went in the store without apologising or anything. My husband, who witnessed this, thought a good, passive-aggressive way to get back at the guy would be to change my daughter’s conveniently poopy diaper, and then stick it under the front seat of the guy’s car through the open window. It was about 95 degrees that day, so hopefully the diaper fermented a while before he found it.
Anyway, the bologna comment reminded me. Carry on!
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:53 pm rating: 83
#8
pony girl
Yeah. I want to be there when the note-writer ‘makes a claim.’
No, I didn’t actually see who damaged my car, but I know it’s Val’s kids because she doesn’t watch them and they probably don’t even have insurance.
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:55 pm rating: 60
#9
interrobang
is that a frowny ellipsis? Inventing new emoticons without a typewriter! Go team scratched car!
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:59 pm rating: 6
#10
aaa
Twenty bucks it’s the neighbor’s own kids fucking up the car.
Apr 24, 2011 at 10:16 pm rating: 39
#11
AuntyBron
Let’s see – Neighbor lady demands in an unsigned note that Val no longer park next to her, disses Val’s kids, disses Val’s parenting ability, and accuses Val of operating an uninsured vehicle which is illegal. “Please respect” – my ass!
Val, if you kids did NOT key that bitch’s car, they should have.
Apr 24, 2011 at 10:48 pm rating: 43
#12
TickleMyBambo
The neighbor should practice this “RESPECT” she keeps preaching by parking in a spot where she is less likely to get her car keyed and dented since she seems to have no problem squeezing up to other vehicles and hogging up space. Also, since I have a feeling she may not have children of her own, she needs to keep her opinions of how others raise their children to herself. All I can say is this self entitled bitch needs more then a few scratches and and dents on her car, she needs someone to spray paint “BAD PARK YOU” all over her car.
Apr 24, 2011 at 11:15 pm rating: 16
#13
J.
Is it just me or is there a difference in the ‘please respect’ portion and the rest of the note? It’s like she thought about it and said ‘you know what, I bet she won’t be respectful. Better add something about that. While I’m at it, you get more flies with honey, so a Thank You will go a long way toward smoothing things over, completely balancing out the criticism of her parenting ability.’
Apr 24, 2011 at 11:29 pm rating: 10
#14
Canthz_B
Hmm, “Bad park you” has been used. Someone will probably want to say “Those kids were fucking delicious”, and someone else will probably thank Sandra for the note.
All that’s left is to thank Terry if I want a unitard on this one, huh?
Apr 25, 2011 at 1:40 am rating: 6
#15
alison
team note writer. parents need to control their kids. it shouldn’t be the neighbour’s responsibility to move her car (especially if they are in designated zones).
take responsibility for your kids and what they do!
Apr 25, 2011 at 2:44 am rating: 4
#16
magilmer
Uh…about the comment that it’s a parent’s responsibility to watch their kids-yeah, no s***. As a frequent pedestrian with a toddler (always in a stroller) we’ve nearly been hit probably a dozen times. I’m not that one who’s unaware, it’s usually the a-hole texting behind the wheel while making a left turn from the right hand lane against the light. Don’t blame the parents, blame the douchebags of the world.
Apr 25, 2011 at 2:45 am rating: 40
#17
poffles
Maybe, just maybe, the note-writer had been taking note of the fact that every time Val parked next to her, the car seemed to get a bit more dented or scratched. I don’t know why people assume she just looked at her car one day, saw the damage and went “oh it must have been her kids”. Perhaps, every time she parked her car, she took assessment of all the existing damage, then the next morning went to her car and there was more. Yeah the note is just dripping with passive-aggressiveness, but it doesn’t mean she’s wrong.
Also, I’m fairly sure that baby-diaper situation is illegal, besides being entirely ethically wrong. You didn’t actually get hit, so the most you were justified in doing was shout at him a bit, not vandalise his car.
Apr 25, 2011 at 5:35 am rating: 19
#18
No name
Key marks + dents = this is your fault because you don’t watch your children?
Yeah okay, crazy. If you have key marks on your car, it’s not those damned unruly kids from next door. You either pissed someone off, or you can’t put the key in the hole when you’re unlocking the car door.
Apr 25, 2011 at 7:34 am rating: 15
#19
Captain Calypso
It would be really funny if Val didn’t even HAVE kids and the note writer made it up.
Apr 25, 2011 at 7:36 am rating: 14
#20
krunchbang
Honestly, it was my kids. I cannot afford insurance, so there is no way for me to provide them with crayons and paper. If it weren’t for car doors and keys, I would not be able to let my kids express their creative sides.
p.s.
Thanks for the welfare check!
Apr 25, 2011 at 9:36 am rating: 29
#21
Auto Title Loans
It’s always irritating when people post notes like this, especially when you know who they are. Would it be too much trouble to take the time to talk to you? I’m sure it would go a lot further in gesture than a note.
Apr 25, 2011 at 2:02 pm rating: 7
#22
Jen Green
Wow. I’m with you. If they know who owns the car can’t they just talk to the driver? Or maybe they could avoid parking near Val… Why is it her job to keep their car safe?
Apr 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm rating: 1
#23
Anon
Val, was this neighbor’s name Courtney by any chance?
Apr 25, 2011 at 3:20 pm rating: 0
#24
Cognitive Dissenter
I hope Val does watch her kids and does have auto insurance. If not, I feel the note writer’s pain.
Apr 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm rating: 3
#25
Penguina
As much as pedestrians are right to act as though under the assumption that every driver is a psychopath hyped up on drugs and vehicle-assault charges, this does very little to change the fact that it is both parties’ responsibilities to stay on top of avoiding collisions.
As someone who does not drive a vehicle, I have been in many, MANY situations where I have nearly been hit, simply because the drivers were being unsafe. Parking lots are not somewhere where anyone should be driving quickly enough to cause more than minor inconvenience should one’s brakes fail, or a child darts out, or anything like that. As much as I appreciate the sentiment that all mothers are superhuman and have the ability to keep a tight hold on their child no matter what else may be going on, the fact is that children have the capability of running off suddenly and otherwise managing to find themselves in dangerous positions.
I work with young children, and am expecting a baby of my own in a couple of months. If you have a group of seven four-to-five year olds and must cross a street, of course you must do your absolute best to ensure their safety, and encourage the children to be safe. Duh. The fact of the matter is that there are times when you simply cannot reach out and physically stop a child the second they stop listening to you and decide to wander out, and even the briefest moment can cause disaster. This can happen on a smaller scale, too, say if a child drops a ball and runs after it.
I’m not saying that pedestrians oughtn’t be more careful, I’m simply saying that drivers need to act appropriately, seeing as they’re the ones driving the two-ton deathmachines.
Apr 25, 2011 at 10:33 pm rating: 6
#26
phoenix
I kinda like how even after CB was told exactly what happened with purslane, which was a situation that the pedestrian really could not have anticipated, it was somehow still her fault. The very reason pedestrians are given legal right of way is an attempt to FORCE drivers to accept that everyone has to be careful on the road. Pedestrians kinda know they’re vulnerable, cars do not, so the law exists to make the driver feel that they have an impetus to hold up their end of the safety bargain.
I’m just picturing how pedestrians would have to walk in CB’s world. It’s not excusable for a fast moving car to turn a corner and take you by surprise, and if a car executes a sudden turn with no warning you should have seen it coming. So I assume to be a non-death worthy pedestrian you must constantly be rotating 360 degrees and calculating all possible maneuvers by all drivers on a handheld version of Deep Blue, as Watson isn’t available as an app yet.
I’m off to go run down girl scouts. If I hit them, it’s their fault for not getting out of the way. Plus you get bonus points for every merit badge they have.
Apr 26, 2011 at 11:28 am rating: 20
#27
:)
Talafuckingdega, FTW.
Apr 26, 2011 at 2:28 pm rating: 2
#28
Anon in MI
I’ve got neighbors who never watch their kids or dogs. Perhaps the author actually witnessed Val’s children scratching and denting her car. In that case, a note is a good first warning.
Apr 26, 2011 at 4:19 pm rating: 4
#29
ellipsis
Christ, sometimes I feel like the world is full of purposeful misunderstandings.
Apr 27, 2011 at 1:34 am rating: 1
#30
El Jefe
Hey zomboid what is your issue with reading for content? Do all the other library/coffeeshop patrons make fun of you because you sound words out when they’re more than three syllables?
It’s hard to know where to start attacking your ‘logic’ since it has holes big enough to drive RunBarbaraRun’s rape van through. How about we start with a bit of classic Western false dichotomy and move on to some stupid ad hominem attacks?
If you want to be one of the sheeple go ahead but don’t expect anybody else to follow behind you lockstep…
Apr 28, 2011 at 10:37 pm rating: 1
#31
The Elf
This is still going on?! Y’all know what they say about people who argue on the internet right?
Apr 29, 2011 at 6:39 am rating: 2
#32
sweet chariot
“I was almost hit by a car.” is a subjective statement to make and means little to nothing.
For some people 8 feet may be “almost” for others 4 feet while others may be comfortable just 2 feet away from a car going by. That lady says it was a foot but is her one foot my 6 feet, you’re four feet or somebody elses 10 feet?
Thats what makes this a fake issue to the central argument some people keep saying they want to talk about. Pay attention to you’re situation so YOU can feel safe. Im happy cantz stayed on that and didnt roll in the mud with the trolls.
May 1, 2011 at 1:37 am rating: 1
#33
Canthz_B
Wonderman, zomboid, bookworm, (Bin Laden??, Ahmadinejad?? Castro??),
Why don’t you and your “vast army of cohorts” tell us just how many comments we’re allowed to make per note so we do not become “over-posters”?
Why not give us a definitive definition of “humor” and what you find “funny” while you’re at it. Because we all know by now that if you don’t like or understand someone’s sense of humor it should and must be banned from the site.
We’ll all give our freedom of speech and expression of our ideas over to your wise discretion, I’m sure.
What religion may we practice again? I have a bad memory and must be constantly reminded by the authorities.
May 1, 2011 at 2:51 am rating: 1
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